A wife has revealed the moment her husband of 12 years revealed he wanted to be a woman.
Kristin Collier, 44, from Oregon, US, had only recently given birth to their second child when her husband, Fred, told her they needed to talk.
‘He admitted to me what he hadn’t wanted to fully admit to himself. He was transgender and wanted to live the rest of his life as a woman,’ the mother of two said.
Now Kristin has spoken to Daily Mail about how she came to terms with her husband’s shock revelation and transition to become a woman called Seda, and why they continue to live as a family – along with Kristin’s new romantic partner, Richard.
Speaking to Daily Mail, Kristin revealed Fred’s confession came shortly after the family had experienced a house fire – and had also recently welcomed a son, who was then seven weeks old.
‘I had been with my mum, regrouping after the fire and he said “we need to talk when you get home”.’
Kristin’s husband was reluctant to elaborate until they met, but Kristin persuaded him to give her one word as a clue as to what was wrong – to which he replied ‘clothes’.
‘As soon as he said that I freeze-framed on what happened on something that had happened early on in our relationship,’ Kristin told Daily Mail.
‘I discovered a dress that was ripped out at the waist. I had said “what’s this?” and the last thing I expected was for him to say “sorry, that will never happen again”.’
Fred had tried on her clothes – something Kristin filed to the back of her mind, until the day he told her he needed to talk.
Fred proceeded to confess to his wife that he wanted to be a woman – something Kristin admits was ‘confusing and scary’.
But, whilst the revelation was a shock, the pair did not decide to break up.
‘We were so close as friends and partners,’ Kristin said. ‘We had been together since we were 18. We did not make a decision to stay together no matter what, but we made a decision to stay present and current with each other.’
In time, Fred transitioned to become a woman, Seda, something his wife candidly admits she had conflicting feelings about.
She said the kids’ relationship with Seda is better than the one they had with their father.
‘Interestingly, when Seda was my husband he was pretty emotionally withdrawn and less available to the children. When he transitioned – and told them he of course still loved them – they were not concerned really.’
Kristin hopes that by sharing her story, she may help other families going through the same thing.