Things all fathers should tell daughters about first love and heartbreak

A Twitter thread of people saying what they wish fathers told their daughters about falling in love and getting their first heartbreak has gone viral.

This follows a plea from a man about the same issue.


My 2 oldest daughters are into Boys, ladies what are some things y’all wished y’all dads said to y’all during these stages like first love/first heart Break etc. I don’t wanna lose my Bestfriends By saying the wrong things. Help please

Here are responses:

Let them know that just because a boy compliments them, takes them out, buys them things or even treats them nice, does not mean they owe them ANYTHING. They should never be made to feel obligated to them. Not every guy deserves access to them.

Tell them to never lose sleep to talk to a boy. One that respects them will talk to them in the a.m. Staying up late is such a hard habit to break. A boy taught me how to fight sleep & now I don’t even need a man to be sleep deprived

Teach them NO is a complete sentence. No negotiating, no it might hurt his feelings, it’s just NO.

Let them know their peace is worth more than any boy/man

Loving themselves and being comfortable in their own skin is their first priority

Build up their self-esteem so a little boy telling them they are pretty won’t make them swoon. Take them on dates so they know what to expect & won’t be impressed by simple things. I lived with my dad from age 13 so I got to know way more about men than I ever wanted to know.

Boys are not everything (especially at that age) you’ll have plenty of time to meet guys, focus on yourself and falling in love with who you are, and there’s nothing a little boy your age can offer you that you can’t do for yourself.

I wish my dad (or even my mom) had told me it is MOST important for boys/men to LIKE me–not want me, be attracted to me, to desire me, to chase me, to pursue me but to LIKE me. It’s a very different feeling when men LIKE women. Find a man who LIKES you. Ask him why he LIKES you.

The best thing my dad told me is that nothing is really free. Not the rides home or the dinner dates or the baecations. He told me if I could learn to get everything else by myself, the best and only thing a man could really offer was love. Completely shaped me for the better

Take the, “if a boy picks on you, he likes you,” sigma outta their head. Even if it didn’t come from you or Mom, they might’ve heard it somewhere or someone. If a boy likes you, he’ll treat you with respect & kindness. If he’s a jerk, then he’s not worth the time. You can dad it.

Teach them how to interact with boys on a human level. A lot of women don’t know how to just be cool around a guy they aren’t related to. Show them to talk to a guy like a normal person & be confident in who they are around them w/o over doing it.

Sleeping with another man to make the man you like jealous is a low IQ female tactic.

You’re not going to make him jealous and want you more, on the contrary, he’s going to be disgusted and want nothing to do with you.

Learn to understand men better.

Tell your daughter this.

Best advice: be the kind of man you want them to date
Show them how they are supposed to be treated
You set the standard

Mom, grandma, aunts, female friends will handle telling them red flags and the cliches

But u will really set the stage just based on ur behavior

For me I wish I would’ve been told just have fun don’t take it serious even though it’s gonna feel like your world revolves around him it doesn’t. It’s okay to like/love them but always love yourself more. You’re going to wanna experiment( unfortunately for us parents lol) it’s It’s natural but don’t ever rush it. When you feel like you wanna take a step whether a first kiss or anything don’t do it off impulse (damn hormones) think about it for a day or week and if you still wanna do it you probably won’t end up regretting it. If they hurt you it’s 100%

IMO the best thing you can do is tell [email protected] much you love them and how they should be treated. Take them on dates, tell them they’re beautiful and how much you value them. Do this so they never accept any less from any man. Help them feel comfortable coming to you & be honest

What a great question & thread . I thank my father for convincing me that there was no rush and that what I was romanticizing wasnt really what “boys” had to offer so that took the edge off. Also the importance of character in ALL relationships.

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