Whenever we talk about toxic habits in relationships, what often crosses our minds is domestic violence as well as verbal and emotional abuse. However, there are a lot more ways in which a relationship can be toxic. Toxins in the relationship come from habits that seem “normal”. Here are a few examples.
1. Jealousy and clingy behavior – While it is cute to have your partner feel a little jealous of your friend or colleague, it becomes another story when it’s a regular occurrence. When you have to start explaining why so and so is calling you, why you’re smiling at your phone, what you discussed when you bumped into a certain person, where you are, what time you’re leaving etc it becomes choking and very toxic. Your partner is not your guard and you are not a prisoner.
2. Threats – “I’ve had it with this relationship, lets break up”, “I need space”. If either you or your partner has a habit of using these words every time you have a fight, then you might as well end things. You cannot hold your relationship hostage each time you disagree with your partner. It’s like a kidnapping incident where you hold one captive and release them once the ransom is paid.
3. Passive – aggressiveness – The moment you realize that your partner is not an an angel then you will stop assuming they know what you want to say. If you need to say something, then go out and say it !! Don’t expect your partner to read your mind and then get angry because they are wrong. Communication is important and it makes things easier for you.
4. Buying off your mistakes – If you do something wrong, simply own up and accept your mistakes. Do not get her a pair of shoes, flowers or wine so that she can feel better. No, it is wrong and will only create a build up of unresolved issues. Talk and resolve the issues otherwise it will make your partner start keeping scores of mistakes that are “pending”.