Common Toxic Habits That Couples Ignore

Whenever we talk about toxic habits in relationships, what often crosses our minds is domestic violence as well as verbal and emotional abuse. However, there are a lot more ways in which a relationship can be toxic. Toxins in the relationship come from habits that seem “normal”. Here are a few examples.

1. Jealousy and clingy behavior – While it is cute to have your partner feel a little jealous of your friend or colleague, it becomes another story when it’s a regular occurrence. When you have to start explaining why so and so is calling you, why you’re smiling at your phone, what you discussed when you bumped into a certain person, where you are, what time you’re leaving etc it becomes choking and very toxic. Your partner is not your guard and you are not a prisoner.

2. Threats – “I’ve had it with this relationship, lets break up”, “I need space”. If either you or your partner has a habit of using these words every time you have a fight, then you might as well end things. You cannot hold your relationship hostage each time you disagree with your partner. It’s like a kidnapping incident where you hold one captive and release them once the ransom is paid.

3. Passive – aggressiveness – The moment you realize that your partner is not an an angel then you will stop assuming they know what you want to say. If you need to say something, then go out and say it !! Don’t expect your partner to read your mind and then get angry because they are wrong. Communication is important and it makes things easier for you.

4. Buying off your mistakes – If you do something wrong, simply own up and accept your mistakes. Do not get her a pair of shoes, flowers or wine so that she can feel better. No, it is wrong and will only create a build up of unresolved issues. Talk and resolve the issues otherwise it will make your partner start keeping scores of mistakes that are “pending”.

Five People You Don’t Need In Your Life

We all have friends and we can all agree that the friends we keep are of different types right? There are work friends, business friends, neighborhood friends, BFF’s and even relatives. However friendship doesn’t always mean that you have to put up with negative habits from these people, if anything you need to drop them from your life.

We have identified some categories for you. Read on:

The pessimist – You find the day looks a little grayer after hanging out with this fellow. He has a habit of seeing the mud instead of the sun, and he tends to leave glasses half empty all over your house. His negativity is catching, so make sure to expel this friend from your life.

Symptoms of spending time with the pessimist are: loss of sunny attitude, prevalent dissatisfaction with daily activities, whiny voice and chronic complaining.

The envier – She can’t help but want what you have. This is the gal who starts telling you how great single life is as soon as you have a boyfriend or plays down the fact that you rocked it at work. Good friends are happy about your successes, but the envier is not a good friend.

Symptoms of having this character in your life: unusual dissatisfaction with and unwarranted guilt for things you were previously grateful for.

The gossiper – I’m not going to say there’s no satisfaction from gossiping, but at the end of the day, do you want to be a person who talks about others behind their backs? This friend makes all that dishing so easy—it’s practically inescapable. He thinks he’s making others look bad, but when all is said and done, the gossiper is the one who’s looking pretty awful.

Symptoms of chilling with your gossiper pal: increased unfair judgment, damaged friendships and loss of trust.

The victim – “Woe is me!” is the mantra of this friend. She doesn’t appreciate your advice because there’s obviously nothing she can do to fix the situation. I mean, it’s not like any of her life’s tragedies are her fault.

Symptoms of having a victim in your life: recurring pointed finger, loss of problem-solving skills and reduced motivation.

The backstabber – Let’s be real—Caesar didn’t seem too surprised when Brutus approached him with a knife. You know which friends you can trust and which you can’t. Don’t give someone trust they don’t deserve. The backstabber wants the upper hand, and staying friends with this character is just giving him the opportunity to take it.

Symptoms of developing a relationship with a backstabber: damaged reputation, diminished self-esteem and increased desire to grab knives.

Tosin

Why do men stay in bad relationships?

We discovered why women stay in bad relationships in one of our posts on Tuesday. You can read all about it from the link below.

Why Women Stay in Toxic Relationships

Today on Maina and King’ang’i in the morning, the show delved deeper into the topic of staying into toxic relationships, this time round focusing on the men. Maina Kageni says that women stay in bad relationships with excuses such as children and financial stability, he doesn’t understand why men stay.

Men, are you in a toxic relationship and you are unable to walk out on your wife, why is that? Mwalimu King’ang’i says that men value the true definition of death do us part, but we all know how this story goes.

One of our callers says that men stay because they know there can’t be a family without a wife while the men are confessing that they would rather stick with the devil they know than get to know a new angel.

Why do you stay in that toxic relationship? Listen below