Here Are The Tests All Serious Couples Go Through

Trials are normal in everyday life for people, whether single or as a couple. However it is different for single people because the decisions will only affect you.

For couples it is a bit intense as the trials couples go through will either strengthen the relationship or break it. Some of these tests include living apart due to work , infidelity, coping with in-laws, or when a partner loses their job etc.

Before you commit to a marriage or a longterm commitment there are tests that you should subject yourself through:

1. Finances test: This is one of the top reasons why many couple fight and even end up in divorce. You have to be able to agree on expenses, budgets ,savings etc. If you are to be together then you need to build trust in this are. If you cannot trust your partner with your money then why would you trust anyone else? And why would you spend your life with them?

2. Shopping test: Are you able to walk into Gikomba or Nakumatt together and just shop without getting frustrated or without arguing about what product is better than the other? Going shopping is great but if you can’t seem to get over the walking around in a filled up mall or overcrowded areas without getting agitated and screaming at each other then you might want to consider how serious you are. Its something basic and if you can’t agree on small things then you won’t agree on bigger things.

3. Living together : This is the best way to test each others patience. It doesn’t mean you should live together, you could go on a week long trip or vacation to a place that will require you to do your own laundry, cook etc. Do so regularly and see how things will work. It will also enable you to see what habits you can put up with and those that you can’t. 

Are You Manipulative? Take This Test To Find Out

Manipulation is described as influencing or attempting to influence the behavior or emotions of others for one’s own purposes and or benefit. We have often come across people who are manipulative from our families, friends, workmates, neighbours and even in our relationships.

Some people can be manipulative and not even know it while others do it intentionally. Are you one of those? Do you want to know if yiu are manipulative? Take this test to find out:

You ask your friend to look after your pet, but you know she’s not keen so…
You promise to do her a favour in return
You plead that it’s a favour, just this once…
You buy her flowers if she accepts, as you are aware that she was not keen on it
It’s unfortunate that she let you down, you’ll have to find someone else to take care of your pet in your absence

You want to borrow something say a dress …
You ask her directly about it, without batting an eyelid
You invite her to the party
You hope she says yes
You tell her that the dress does not suit her

You and your partner are planning to see a movie, but you want to see another movie…
You mention it to him, but also let him know of the other releases in town
You keep raving about the reviews you’ve heard of the film, till he takes the cue
You let him know that you are keen to see the film, but it’s okay if he doesn’t want to
You make a deal with your partner that this time they watch the film you want to see, the next time they watch a film of his choice

A colleague asks you a question by email…
You don’t reply straight away
You reply instantly
You reply as they’ll then be obligated to return you the favour someday
You reply as soon as you get time from the task at hand

You want to take a break, but your company is in the peak period for business…
You remind your boss that last year you worked around the same time, when others were on leave
You insist that you need a break or you’ll fall ill
You say that you’ll make up for your absence with overtime after leave
You cross your fingers that he gives you permission to take a leave

You are using public means and you find the window seat taken…
You request the person occupying the window seat to exchange the seat with you if they don’t mind
You tell the passenger you feel sick and need to sit by the window
You ask to exchange seats, by offering them the latest video game to play on
You wait, hoping to get a free seat

Results:
Draw the line, you can be quite manipulative
Ticking four B’s from the five questions above shows exactly what your inclinations are. You don’t listen to the other person’s point of view. You don’t respect anyone, as you are willing to walk over people to achieve your goals. Remember what goes around, comes around! So develop an attitude of tolerance, patience, as sometimes you need to hear a ‘No’ in your life.

You know to use your charms
If you get more C’s, it shows that you get your work done by charming your way through it. It’s a gentle form of manipulation, but there’s a danger of it going the other side. So take a break once in a while from using that charm of yours, learn to listen to people’s opinions and their needs, and not force them to do what they don’t really want to. It’ll earn you a few brownie points with those around you.

You are straightforward
If you get three A’s out of five right, then you fall in this category of people. When you want something, you ask for it, knowing that the answer could be ‘No.’ Never having to manipulate shows great strength of character, although some may believe you to be passive, don’t pay heed to them. Keep up the attitude, as it’ll help you see things clearly for what they are, and help you keep moving forward.

You just don’t have ‘it’ in you
If you’ve been ticking more D’s than you need to, stop and think. You just are incapable of manipulating anyone, except yourself. It can put you in a frustrating situation most often, than not. Develop the streak to ask what you want. Be direct, as resorting to bribe a favour out of people will not help.

-TOI