How slay queen’s lure sponsors into funding their luxurious lifestyles

More and more young women are using sugar daddies (or, as they’re more commonly known, ‘sponsors’) to fund a lifestyle worth posting on social media.

“Sponsor” relationships seem to have become both more common and more visible. What once was hidden is now out in the open, on campuses, in bars and all over Instagram.

We have arrived at a point where having a “sponsor” or a “blesser” — the terms millennials usually apply to their benefactors — has for many young people become an accepted and even glamorous lifestyle choice.

Through the stories of three women, the Star explores the social forces driving this trend.

CAREER AMBITIONS

“Right now, the a** is the new brain and this is what you use to get what you want,” says single mother Grace Njeri*, 25, who has a regular sponsor.

Njeri says she is actively seeking a more lucrative relationship with a man who will invest in her career as a singer.

“I am poor, often living hand-to-mouth, dancing for cash in a nightclub, and struggling to put my daughter through school. But I’m determined to feed and educate my child. I want to become rich and famous through modelling and music,” she says.

She says the economy makes it so much harder for a smaller person to make ends meet.

“Hard work won’t get you anywhere. You have to get a sponsor, rob a bank or win a tender,” she says.

SOCIALITE INFLUENCE

“If I look hot, I look good. There has got to be some rich guy who will pay good money to possess me,” says Jane, 20.

Jane, an undergraduate who readily admits to having two sponsors, sees nothing shameful in such relationships — they are just part of the everyday hustle it takes to survive in Nairobi, she says.

She is inspired by Kenya’s celebrity “socialites”, women who have transformed s3x appeal into wealth, becoming stars of social media.

In the past, some of Kenya’s socialites have styled themselves as #SlayQueens and have been quite upfront about the financial benefits that have come from dating tycoons.

Having made it to the top, though, they often begin to cultivate a different image, presenting themselves as independent, self-made businesswomen and encouraging girls to work hard and stay in school.

Jane, however, says she admires socialite Vera Sidika, who went from dancing in music videos on to the set of the Nairobi Diaries, and from there launched a business career based on her fame and physique.

FINANCIAL GAIN

“I used the remaining Sh100 I had in my wallet and took a bus to the city centre, to look for the first man who would pay to have sex with me,” Machakos University student Mary Wambui*, 19, confesses.

Most of the times she sat in her tiny room in shared quarters in Kitengela, feeling broke, hungry and desperate.

But that day, Wambui went back to Kitengela with Sh1,000 to feed herself for the rest of the month.

She says she loved that life and instead of sleeping with random guys for money, she opted for a sponsor.

“Six years ago, I met a married man nearly 40 years my senior. At first, I received just groceries. Then it was trips to the salon,” she says.

“Two years into our relationship, the man moved me into a new apartment because he wanted me to be more comfortable.”

Another two years down the line, the sponsor gave her a plot of land in Nyeri county as a show of commitment.

In exchange, he gets to sleep with Wambui whenever he feels like it.

“I am young and beautiful, so why not use my youthfulness to my benefit.”

“After all, what is wrong about sex, anyway?” asks Wambui . “People just make it sound wrong. But sometimes, it ain’t wrong at all.”

But as most of those dependent on sugar relationships are female, they have dominated the public debate. There are concerns about the morality of their lifestyle, but also about its consequences for their health.

Kerubo*, 27, from Kisii, says she has control of her relationship with her sugar daddy, Alfred. But when I ask her about safe sex, this illusion quickly evaporates.

Both Alfred and her other sponsor, James, prefer not to use condoms, she says. In fact, she has had unprotected sex with multiple sugar daddies, who then have sex with other women, as well as with their wives, exposing all of these partners to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

Kerubo, the aspiring singer struggling to put food on the table, has a slightly different perspective. To her, the similarities with sex work are more apparent.

“I prefer the sponsor thing, rather than standing on the street,” she says. “Because you have that one person who is supporting you… you don’t need to sleep with so many men.”

The names have been changed for protection purposes.

“My body is my business – and it is a money maker,” she said back in 2014, when discussing her controversial skin-lightening procedures.

Nowadays, Vera is keen to promote herself as an entrepreneur, and runs a successful brand of “detox” herbal infusions called Veetox Tea.
Equally famous is model and socialite Huddah Monroe, who also rose to fame on reality TV — in her case, Big Brother Africa, in 2013. She now runs a well-established line of cosmetics.

“If you have to expose your body, make money out of it,” she was reported as saying, referring to the semi-nude images she shows off to her 1.6 million Instagram followers.

Socialite Bridget Achieng’ raised and born in Kibera now a business woman
Socialite Bridget Achieng is a woman from the sprawling Nairobi slum of Kibera. She worked as a domestic servant (house girl) but gained a social media following on the back of a sexy photoshoot, and then found her way into the cast of Nairobi Diaries.

Her message to aspiring socialites, though, is that nothing is free. “You want a million bucks, you will do something that is worth a million bucks,” she said.

‘He forced me to eat his poop,’ Ex slay queen narrates horrible experience with sponsors
MEN ALSO VICTIMS

George Meiu, who studies transactional relationships between Samburu men and older European women, has described how their youth and good looks have become valuable commodities in Kenya’s beach resorts.

Thanks to a set of “African warrior” stereotypes and myths about tribal sexual prowess, the Samburu and others like them are particularly appealing to local and foreign sugar mummies.

Some Samburu villages, he says, claim they have been unable to defend themselves against cattle raids from neighbouring tribes because so many young men have migrated to the coast to become beach boys.

“A beach boy is someone who gets up in the morning, smokes a joint, lies under a coconut tree, waiting for bikini-clad white woman to pass by and run after them,” Meui says.

Bae, sponsor or fossil! How to identify the kind of man you are dating

Medical researcher Joyce Wundani says girls and young women between the ages of 15 and 24 have consistently been at higher risk of HIV infection than any other section of the population in sub-Saharan Africa.

Sugar relationships, she says, are contributing to these risks because the women who engage in them do not have the power to insist on the use of condoms. “With sex work, men are more likely to use condoms because it’s more explicit than this is selling and buying.”

The Star/LYNDSAY NYAWIRA

3 things women do after men splash money on them

 

A woman advised women on classic 105 that they must do everything possible to get a man to shamelessly spend money on them.

the number one mistake women make with these men especially when you land yourself a stingy man is showing them you can be independent, especially financially.

You show a man you can take care of all your financial needs, rub it in his face? The day you come to him and ask for a coin, trust me aki sha zoea, whatever he will give you will be little or nothing knowing that you have money, when he gets used to being shown that you are financially independent?

Men use money to get the woman they want. While women, subtly and skillfully, use their femininity to reel in the man of their dreams.

Men know their job is to win a woman’s affection, love and commitment and they will court you with their compliments and gentlemanly manners—and whether they will admit it or not, they are fully aware that gifts are part of a woman’s love language.

Depending on a man’s level of interest in you, his finances and generosity, he will spend money to get you to go on a date with him and he will surprise you with trinkets and sparkle to woo and wow you.

He will send you flowers, wine and dine you, take you shopping for clothes and treat you to all-expense-paid trips, because in his mind, he is investing in you and his future.

Once a man is done ‘investing’ in you a woman tends to do these three things:

– felt obligated to go out with him again
– Expect to sleep with him
– Feel like a gold-digger

also read more here

‘He pays my bills and rent in Karen with no strings attached’ Brags woman

A  Classic 105 fan has confessed that it is possible to have a relationship with a man with full financial benefits with no strings attached.

*Melisa* says she met her prince charming months ago and she is already reaping the fruits of that union.

I met this man 3 months ago in a casino and he has bought me a big car and is renting me a house in Karen and paying for my trips and we have no strings attached!.

‘Karma has caught up with me for sleeping with married men’ Cries woman

Well Kenyans are not convinced about this given the famous saying ‘vitu za bure zilisha enzi za Moi’.

Below are some of their responses.

Below are some of the reactions from Kenyans

@jchuizoAkikuambia umfungulie boot…..pliz remove the door….
@MKOtienoBImagine a big “car” renting a house in Karen & pay for trips just like that and she’s happy saying no strings attached. Wait until the owner of the “riches” comes for her blood.
@AwinoG: Look at where they met- a casino. Three months isn’t enough for this kind of commitment unless there is more than meets the eye. This doesn’t point to the goodness of the man. You seem ensnared by the bait of a seasoned actor- you will soon discover the meaning of his generosity
@rench2000Radi yake iko kwa njia!!!!  ATI no strings attached!!!!

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‘I pay my 38 year old boyfriend’s rent, school fees, I am only 26’ Cries woman

A woman has learnt her lesson the hard way after being played by a man she has been funding, all in the name of love.

She is now heartbroken she says.

Not only has she been paying his rent, school fees, shopping but she also warms his bed. The sad thing is that she is younger than he is.

I was dating this man who is 38 yrs now and am 26yrs old, we’ve been dating for over a year now but he ended the relationship for some reasons best known to him.

All the while I was dating him, I was the one giving because he doesn’t know. When I love, I love for who you are not what you are.

I paid his rent, school fees etc and always take him out for shopping, dinner, bought an iPhone X for him when he had no phone and always pray for him.

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How-to-Flirt-Properly

I have never asked him for any money for the one year we dated. I’m going through heartbreak right now.

All I wanted was to build my life with him. I always complain about his inconsistency and he said he’ll change.

Three months I didn’t see him and I asked him what’s wrong,

He said he is going through some challenges now and he needs God’s help only. I asked him about the challenges he refused to disclose it to me. 

She adds

I am heart broken, what else will a man ask for that I haven’t given to him. I’m submissive to him. I’ve been trying to move on but I can’t.

I can’t fall in love again. I feel used and betrayed by him. Without me he won’t graduate from university.

I paid his school fees and accommodation fees in school also his shop rent.

I’m lost and my heart is broken. 

Do I dump him for going silent on him for three months or should I give him a second chance.

What would you advice the woman to do? Put your answer in the comment section tuone vile tutamsaidia.

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Kenyans bemused by photo of woman controlling mzungu sponsor with dog leash 

 

Kenyans have been left puzzled after a photo of a woman holding her mzungu bae on a leash went viral.

The woman is seen being questioned by police officers why the sponsor is kneeling, and a leash on his neck.

The old man is also seen holding her handbag, and many Kenyans who stumbled upon the photo are bewildered what her story is.

Read the hilarious comments about the awkward situation the ancestor has found himself in.

Magambo Connie ..Hahahahahahhaha whether Kenyan or warever I think we have made it… Ukoloni mamboleo

Wanjiku Wahu ..Tumepeleka bangi hadi uk

Mamake Praxwin ..Siikue huku Kenya watu wa crawl wote hivi

Collins Omondi ..Pet atakupandaje?

Steve Wachichi ..Kitaeleweka

Karyma Jean ..He agreed to it.

Mangesh Winnie …Hahahaha mungu wangu

Mercy Muthoni …That pet needs to go to mathare

Joy Madeda …Hii si role-playing,cz some men get turned on by being put on leashes

Christine Ndambuki ..Maybe aliona ndo the only way she can make him visit her country

Suzie Ryan’s …Khaii hawa ubeba juju hadi majuu…woi

Rhoda Lusalah ..Kwani pia hii crawling pet ni mjinga,he should be arrested too for accepting to crawl

Magambo Connie.. Hahahahahahhaha whether Kenyan or warever I think we have made it… Ukoloni mamboleo

Lucy Gichana ..It only looks “bad” because the roles have been reversed 1. Because it’s a woman doing it to the man, 2. Because it’s a black woman doing it to a white man and 3. Because it’s a younger woman doing to an older man.

Kevo Wa DVD: HALF of women have a man to fall back on

 

Do you have a fall-back partner in case your relationship turns sour?

Half of all women have a fall-back partner on call should their current relationship turn sour, it has emerged.

A substantial percentage have kept another man in mind in case they end up single.

And married women are more likely have a Plan B in the background than those who are just in a relationship.

The back-up is likely to be an old friend who has always had feelings for the woman in question.

But other candidates are an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband, a colleague – or someone who they have met at the gym.

The survey of 1,000 women also found Plan B is also likely to be someone whom she has known for around seven years, who will be ‘ready and waiting’ because of ‘unfinished business’.

Furthermore, around one in ten women said their Plan B had already confessed his undying love, while one in five said they were confident he would ‘drop everything’ for her, if she asked him to.

Slightly more than four in ten said they had got to know the man whilst they were with their partner, while a similar percentage said he was ‘on the scene’ long before.

One in five said they were confident he would ‘drop everything’ for her, if she asked him to.

Around one in four women who have a back-up plan have feelings as strong for him as they do for their other half.

Incredibly, 12 per cent went as far as to admit their feelings were ‘stronger’ for Plan B, and close to seven in ten admitted they are currently in contact with him.

But despite the secrecy involved in having a close friend or ex to turn to, around half of the women who took part in the poll said their other half was aware of the ‘third party’.

Of those, one in five said they were able to joke about it, but one in three said their man was ‘uncomfortable’ discussing him.

One in four admitted their current partner had met their Plan B, while one in five admitted he was a friend of the man in her life.

The good news for the nation’s men is that one in three women said they ‘doubted’ anything would ever happen with the man in the background.

Around half had a ‘never say never’ approach, while trouble may lie ahead for one in six who said they were ‘seriously considering’ rekindling their romance with the man in the shadows.

Dailymail

Rules every Kenyan sponsor must follow

 

If you’re thinking of being a sugar baby, there are strict rules to follow.

‘Young girls have plenty of male friends so avoid being jealous – and  don’t be an a**hole to her friends,’ Mr Darren Chan a dating site expert has said.

‘Do not flirt with her girlfriends, avoid lying about the things that you cannot provide and avoid being a cheapskate.’

The businessman – who launched Sugarbook in 2017 after he saw an opening in the ‘sugaring’ market – said there’s one thing that turns older men off: ‘Lies’.

Etiquette of a sugar daddy

1. Be well groomed

2. Willing to impart knowledge and experiences

3. Respectful to her friends and family

4. Be generous with spending on her allowance or daily lifestyle

5. Be extremely generous with money

Mr Chan said he also wanted to break the stigma surrounding ‘sugar dating’.

‘The stigma is actually crafted by the society fuelled by the lack of understanding and empathy,’ he explained.

‘Men are attracted to beauty and women reserves the rights to use their womanly wiles to get what she wants.

‘As we move forward, we’re in a better position to address these misconceptions by educating the public that these couples are consenting adults.

‘There’s nothing wrong with an older man dating a younger woman – and it is perfectly legal.’

Girls, here are things to avoid if you want to date a sponsor

  • Don’t be flaky or a ‘no show’
  • Never lie to a sugar daddy
  • Never underestimate a man’s intelligence
  • Avoid being whiny or clingy

Dailymail

Fellas take note: Citizen TV’s Joey Muthengi has a thing for older men

 

Citizen Tv presenter Joey Muthegi is not feeling young men.

Speaking during yesterday’s topic on the issue of older men dating younger women on the station’s morning show, Joey revealed that she prefers older men because they know what they want in life compared to young ones.

Joey Muthengi, who co-hosts the show with Willis Raburu and Roy Karuhize, explained the main reason why young women prefer older men than their agemates. She said:

AS A CONSUMER OF OLDER MEN THERE IS JUST LIKE STABILITY IN THAT, OR REASSURANCE THAT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY NEED OUT OF LIFE, HAVE LEARNT THE LESSONS THAT NEEDED TO BE LEARNT. THEY ARE EVEN ABLE TO SHARE THEIR KNOWLEDGE. THESE YOUNG GUYS ARE ONLY GOOD IN PICTURES.

The sister to born-again gospel singer Holy Dave went ahead to tell what many young men out here wouldn’t want to hear. She said she would go for an older man because he’s already established himself. She said

I AM LOOKING FOR SECURITY FINANCIALLY, MATURITY, THESE ARE THINGS I NEED IN A RELATIONSHIP. LIKE I SAID OFF CAMERA I SPENT A LOT OF MY YOUTH WITH THE YOUTHS WHILE IN CAMPUS. WHAT DID THEY DO FOR ME?

Joey Muthegi also revealed that she was not for the parable of hustling together and building an empire.

ATI WE ARE HUSTLING TOGETHER WE CAN’T BOTH BE ON THE SAME LEVEL. SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MADE IT. IN FACT, MOST OF THE GUYS WHOM YOU BUILD EACH OTHER FROM SCRATCH USUALLY END UP LEAVING THE WOMAN FOR SOMEONE ELSE. THAT IS WHAT MOSTLY HAPPENS IN THOSE TYPES OF SITUATIONS.

Also read more here