There are so many ways to know if someone is right for you, from the way they treat you, how they make you feel, to the things they do for you. However there is also a way that you can tell if they are the one for you by listening to your body.
Your body will tell you what you need to know about the person who you have feelings for and if they are good for you, here’s how:
Listen to your stomach – If your gut is telling you something isn’t working, it probably isn’t. Your core is where you feel the most powerful emotions in a condensed, isolated way. The butterflies are powerful, but you would do well to question them. When you’re with someone you’re infatuated with, there’s no mistaking the pit in your stomach as something other than the butterflies.
As science has shown, being in love is akin to being high on cocaine. It delivers that same intense adrenaline charge and high. Timothy Loving, assistant professor of human ecology at the University of Texas at Austin, told CNN: “Part of the whole attraction process is strongly linked to physiological arousal as a whole. Typically, that’s going to start with things like increased heart rate, sweatiness and so on.” In the end, the butterflies are just the product of chemicals released from your brain.
But is he really “the one” if he isn’t making your stomach flip every day… regardless of the length of your relationship? The right love will give you the butterflies forever. It should always make you feel slightly nervous and woozy but never in any way sick or repulsed.
Listen to your eyes – When we’re in love, we experience a euphoria that completely floods our hearts and minds. We’ve all heard that “love is blind.” But does that saying have any substance?
According to BBC News, love really does have the power to make you blind, or at least blur your vision and trick your brain: “Once we get close to a person, the brain decides the need to assess their character and personality is reduced.” We no longer feel the need to analyze the person’s behavior or character.
BBC News reports that people in love “suppress neural activity associated with critical social assessment of other people and negative emotions.” This can easily cause us to fall into bad romances. We are unable to see the person for what they are. We start to make excuses for bad behaviors and are unable to be objective.
I know that analyzing a love affair kind of destroys its romance, but if you can’t step outside of yourself and look at the relationship, flaws and all, in order to properly quantify its worth, it’s probably not right for you. We’re told that over-analyzing our relationships puts us at risk of ruining everything. But if you’re going to allow yourself to be blinded by love, you’ll never really see that love for what it really is (or isn’t).
Listen to your brain AND your heart… in sync – When you’re wrapped in the warm arms of romance, don’t forget to listen to your goddamn brain. The two are inextricably linked. Your “heart” is just a manifestation of your cerebral functions. You need to take a minute to really FEEL in your heart if this person is bad. Our hearts can’t always tell, but intuition can be a very powerful thing.
“My heart rate picks up when someone has bad energy. Feelings are all physical. Certain people just make you clam up. Our bodies are reacting negatively,” my friend told me. “I always listen to my heart, but not in a cheesy way, in an energetic way.”
You can just sense when someone is bad or good. Don’t let that love blindness completely overtake you. Listen to your heart as it absorbs your beloved’s energy. Is that energy making you stronger, or is it breaking you down?
Listen to your nose – I think we can all agree there is nothing in the entire world that smells as wonderful as a person you’re in love with. It goes SO much deeper than liking his cologne. It’s literally his SKIN. Even when he’s gross and back from the gym, you just can’t get enough of him. It’s the scent of his body.
The laws of attraction are complicated, of course. But there are genetic and biological reasons why you just can’t seem to satiate yourself on your boyfriend’s delicious man-scent.
A bunch of molecules called the major histo-compatibility complex (MHC) “influence the genetic makeup of our immune system, including the smell of our body odor.” It’s the MHCs that affect how you smell. There is a scientific reason behind all of this. According to a 1995 study, researchers resolved that women are attracted to men who have different MHC compositions than their own. The reason your boo smells so sumptuous may also be your body’s attraction to his immune system makeup, which is slightly different from yours.
According to Psychologist Rachel Herst, “Body odor is an external manifestation of the immune system, and the smells we think are attractive come from the people who are most genetically compatible with us.” You want to sniff the hell out of your partner because your body is telling you to make babies with him. If you have compatible immune systems, you will breed healthier little wee ones. If you’re with someone whose scent doesn’t completely intoxicate your mind, body and soul, you’d better look elsewhere… because your body is telling that this is not the match for you.