Girls have the ability to strike friendships anywhere, but the most common place is the bathroom. Be it at the coffee shop, church, office or the club, the bathroom has a way of “uniting” women as it helps us bond. Our conversations about make up, clothes, shoes, purses and men enable us to relate with each other and with that being said the bathroom offers a much needed peace for women. It’s our confessions booth.
Suddenly, the girl who just got into a fight with her boyfriend becomes a sister and the bathroom attendant is the therapist you could never afford.
However, these bathroom encounters are governed by some unspoken rules. Here are the 10 unspoken commandments you have to follow.
1. Thou shalt hold up the puking drunk girl’s hair – It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger or a friend. There’s always one girl at the bar who got a little too happy during happy hour and releases the contents of her bad decisions into the toilet. It’s your job to ask her if she’s okay. She’s your fellow woman you’re obligated to hold up her hair and try to make her feel better. Bonus points if you make a reasonable attempt to get her a cup of water.
2. Thou shalt share tampon/pads with a lady in need – Even if the tampon in your purse is your last super size or saved for a rainy day, you must always give it to any girl who asks. Pay it forward, because you never know when you’ll need one on a rainy day.
3. Thou shalt leave quickly if someone is trying to poop – Ladies are shy when it comes to pooping. We all know that look for “give me space to shed weight” and you must oblige. If the lady in the next stall hasn’t made any moves, assume she has performance anxiety. Try to skedaddle out of there as quickly as possible and give her space.
4. Thou shalt agree to take drunk bathroom selfies – After six gin and tonics, everyone looks like a million bucks. Whether she’s your friend or you’ve never seen her before, a drunk girl in selfie mode must be placated. Be a good sport and stumble in for your five seconds of Snapchat fame.
5. Thou shalt join another girl if she’s going to the bathroom – Bathrooms are really just secret meeting places, no boys allowed. They’re where you make a plan of action for the rest of the night, strategize getaways from bad dates and fix each other’s makeup. If she goes, you go, too.
6. Thou shalt lend a hand with pesky zippers and rompers – Live every straight guy’s dream and help your fellow woman shimmy out of her bodycon and into a stall. Don’t walk too far away, because she’ll need help putting it back on post-pee.
7. Thou shalt listen to her sob – At this very moment, you are her life coach. It’s your job to listen to a story about how her boyfriend is a jerk, or offer advice about her absentee father. If she’s bawling all over the sink, help her wade through the emotional state and help her do her makeup again.
8. Thou shalt share makeup without protest – If she desperately needs some help in the mascara department, you better be there. Lipstick? What’s yours is hers. Who cares if you know each other or not? Pass the eyeliner, girl! Germs don’t exist in girl world.
9. Thou shalt always tell her she looks hot, no matter what – It doesn’t matter if her dress is riding up, you have to sing her praises for existing. The bathroom is a sacred place. Leave all those negative vibes at the door.
10. Thou shalt drunkenly become best friends with everyone in the bathroom line – infact y’all can teach each other dance moves as you wait for the next empty loo. There’s no greater bond than the one forged between two girls needing to pee on a wild night out.