Few people knew that Princess Diana’s marriage was falling apart in 1991, and that Prince Charles had rekindled his relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles.
Devastated, Diana decided to make her side of the story public by recording her thoughts for author Andrew Morton via a go-between on one condition: that her involvement be kept a strict secret.
Morton compiled the revelations in a book title ‘Diana: Her true story’ that caused a sensation.
Twenty years later, the book has been republished ‘Diana: Her True Story — In Her Own Words’ with transcripts of those tapes.
The extracts herein begin just two days before her wedding on July 29, 1981 — which was watched by a global TV audience of 750 million.
“I remember being so in love with my husband that I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I just absolutely thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. He was going to look after me. Well, was I wrong on that assumption!”
We got married on Wednesday. On the Monday (July 27, 1981), we had gone to St Paul’s for our last rehearsal, and that’s when the camera lights were on full and I got a sense of what the day was going to be.
And I sobbed my eyes out. I absolutely collapsed and it was because of all sorts of things. The Camilla thing rearing its head the whole way through our engagement.
I was desperately trying to be mature about the situation, but I didn’t have the foundations to do it, and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.
I remember my husband being very tired — both of us were quite tired. Big day.
He sent me a very nice signet ring the night before to Clarence House, with the Prince of Wales feathers on and a very nice card that said: ‘I’m so proud of you and when you come up, I’ll be there at the altar for you tomorrow. Just look ’em in the eye and knock ’em dead.’
I had a very bad fit of bulimia the night before. I ate everything I could possibly find which amused my sister (Jane) because she was staying at Clarence House with me.
Nobody understood what was going on there. It was very hush-hush. I was sick as a parrot that night. It was such an indication of what was going on.
I was very calm the next morning when we were getting up at Clarence House. Must have been awake about 5am. Interesting — they put me in a bedroom overlooking the Mall, which meant I didn’t get any sleep.
I was very, very calm, deathly calm. I felt I was a lamb to the slaughter. I knew it and couldn’t do anything about it. My last night of freedom with Jane at Clarence House.
On the day, there was great anticipation. Happiness because the crowds buoyed you up — but I don’t think I was happy.
Father (still suffering from the after-effects of a massive stroke) was so thrilled, he waved himself stupid. We went past St Martin-in-the-Fields and he thought we were at St Paul’s. He was ready to get out. It was wonderful, that.
As I walked up the aisle, I was looking for her (Camilla). I knew she was in there, of course. I looked for her.
I had to get my father basically up the aisle and that’s what I concentrated on. And I remember being terribly worried about curtseying to the Queen.
Anyway, I got up to the top. I thought the whole thing was hysterical, getting married, in the sense that it was just so grown-up, and here was Diana — a kindergarten teacher. The whole thing was ridiculous!
I remember being so in love with my husband that I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I just absolutely thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. He was going to look after me. Well, was I wrong on that assumption!
So walking back down the aisle, I spotted Camilla — pale grey, veiled pillbox hat, saw it all, her son Tom standing on a chair. To this day, you know — vivid memory.
When we got out, it was a wonderful feeling: everybody hurraying, everybody happy because they thought we were happy. And there was the big question mark in my mind. I realised I had taken on an enormous role, but had no idea what I was going into — but no idea.
Back to Buckingham Palace, did all the photographs. Nothing tactile, nothing.
I was basically wandering around, trying to find where I should be, clutching my long train with my bridesmaids and pages.
We got out on the balcony. It was overwhelming what we saw, so humble-making, all these thousands and thousands of people happy. It was just wonderful. I sat next to Charles at the wedding breakfast, which was a lunch. Neither of us spoke to each other — we were so shattered. I was exhausted at the whole thing.
I never tried to call the wedding off in the sense of really doing that. But the worst moment was when we got to Broadlands (the family seat of Charles’s late great-uncle, Lord Mountbatten, where the royal couple spent the first part of their honeymoon).
I thought, you know, it was just grim. I just had tremendous hope in me, which was slashed by day two.
We went to Broadlands. Second night, out come the van der Post books he hadn’t read (Laurens van der Post, the South African philosopher and adventurer, was much admired by Prince Charles). Seven of them — they came on our honeymoon. He read them and we had to analyse them over lunch every day.
(On the second leg of the honeymoon, aboard the royal yacht) we had to entertain all the top people on Britannia every night, so there was never any time on our own. Found that very difficult to accept.
The yacht was manned by 21 officers and 256 men. Evening meals were black-tie affairs, attended by selected officers. And while everyone ate, a Royal Marine band played in an adjoining room.
By then, the bulimia was appalling, absolutely appalling. It was rife: four times a day on the yacht.
Anything I could find, I would gobble up and be sick two minutes later — very tired. So, of course, that slightly got the mood swings going, in the sense that one minute one would be happy, the next, blubbing one’s eyes out.
I remember crying my eyes out on our honeymoon. I was so tired, for all the wrong reasons totally.
We survived that all right. Then went off to Balmoral straight from the yacht. Everyone was there to welcome us and then the realisation set in.
My dreams were appalling. At night, I dreamt of Camilla the whole time.
I was obsessed by Camilla totally. I didn’t trust (Charles) — thought every five minutes he was ringing her up, asking how to handle his marriage.
Charles got Laurens van der Post up to come and help me. Laurens didn’t understand me. Everybody saw I was getting thinner and thinner and I was being sicker and sicker.
Basically, they thought I could adapt to being Princess of Wales overnight. All the guests at Balmoral coming to stay just stared at me the whole time, treated me like glass. As far as I was concerned, I was Diana — the only difference was people called me ‘Ma’am’ now, ‘Your Royal Highness’, and they curtsied. That was the only difference, but I treated everybody else exactly the same.
Charles used to want to go for long walks around Balmoral the whole time. His idea of enjoyment — this will make you laugh —would be to sit on top of the highest hill at Balmoral. It is beautiful up there. I completely understand; he would read Laurens van der Post or (Swiss psychoanalyst) Carl Jung to me. And bear in mind I hadn’t a clue about psychic powers or anything, but I knew there was something in me that hadn’t been awoken yet — and I didn’t think this was going to help!
So anyway, we read those and I did my tapestry and he was blissfully happy, and as far as he was happy, that was fine.
He was in awe of his Mama, intimidated by his father, and I was always the third person in the room. It was never: ‘Darling, would you like a drink?’ It was always: ‘Mummy, would you like a drink?’ ‘Granny, would you like a drink?’ ‘Diana, would you like a drink?’
Fine, no problem. But I had to be told that that was normal because I always thought it was the wife first — stupid thought!
We stayed up there (at Balmoral) from August to October. I got terribly, terribly thin. People started commenting: ‘Your bones are showing.’ By October, I was in a very bad way.
I was so depressed, and I was trying to cut my wrists with razor blades. It rained and rained and rained.
I came down early (to London) to seek treatment, not because I hated Balmoral, but because I was in such a bad way.
Anyway, I came down here. All the analysts and psychiatrists you could ever dream of came plodding in trying to sort me out. Put me on high doses of Valium and everything else.
But the Diana that was still very much there had decided just time, patience and adapting were all that were needed. It was me telling them what I needed.
Read More: Daily Mail