Habits you should avoid on the first date

The first impression is always very important because it gives a preview of the kind of person you are. These are some of the habits that you should avoid when on the first date;

Rudeness to service people

You have to try as much as possible to be kind. It is really a bad move when you start shouting at the waiter or talking rudely to them. If you don’t like the services there is always a polite way to address a mistake.

Money holds relationships together; Love is for the birds

This may make your date thinking that it is your way of addressing people and it may create a bad picture of your character.

Reasons Why Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

Talking about your past

You should have a flowing conversations that makes both of you comfortable. Try as much as possible to avoid talking too much especially about yourself. Always give the other person time to talk and express themselves. Do not talk about your ex in your conversation unless you have been asked. This may make the person think that you have not moved on. Try as much as possible to avoid that topic.

Bragging

Bragging about anything should be out of topic. Talking about what you do, properties you own and the positive sides about you is not necessary. This may make the person to feel uncomfortable especially if your lifestyle is not compatible with theirs. Try to be one level so that you may get along and be free with each other.

3 types of emotional baggage that affects relationships

Being on your phone most of the time  

If it is possible you can switch off the phone or put it on silent. It is disrespectful to be on your phone when you are having a conversation with someone. This shows that you are either bored or not interested with whatever the person is telling you at all. The person may be having a great interest in you but once you show that behavior you will actually kill the vibe.

looking-at-phone

Bad manners

You should be of the best behavior when meeting someone. Avoid laughing unnecessarily especially if you are eating or talking very important issues. Make sure you observe all the table manners.

Facts about marriage that people tend to avoid

In order to overcome all those ups and downs you have to accept the following facts;

Your decisions affect both parties

When you are single or dating, anything you do does not affect anyone else but you. You make decisions on your own and handle them in the best way you know how. This changes when you get married. The decision you make should fit both you and your partner. You literary have to consult your partner before doing something and decide on how to handle the situation at hand.

Exclusive: Prayer and respect has sustained my relationship- Shaniqwa

 Your partner’s phone should not be a bother

This has really been a challenge to many marriages. If you want to have a happy relationship, your partners phone should not bother you at all. When you start interrogating about the contacts and messages you may raise doubts that can be either true or false. You may either misinterpret or misunderstand some texts and this can kill your marriage especially if you suspect you are being cheated on which may not be the case.

Phones

Attraction to other people

This is one fact that you must live with. When you are married it does not mean that you will not be attracted to other people. It maybe to a celebrity or even your colleague at work but it does not mean you are no longer attracted to your partner. It is your responsibility therefore as an individual to control your hormones and eyes so as not to be lured into cheating. This also applies to you as an individual. Marriage does not mean you will not attract other people.

5 Reasons why are relationships are failing in this millennial era

 You will be married to the family too

The sooner you accept this the better for you. This mainly affects the ladies and their in-laws. When you get married, it is not only to your husband but also his family as you become part of them too. In-laws can be a headache especially the mother in-laws. The best thing is to study your in-laws and know the best way to handle them as you will spend the rest of your lifetime with them and you have to keep a good relationship with them.

No financial paybacks

This changes in marriage because you become one and so you should not expect a payback on any cash you spend on your partner. You will be expected to do all these things wholeheartedly because of love and not because it’s your turn to return the favor. This will make you to keep your marriage happy and longer with peace.

 

‘I sleep with a banana stem to avoid HIV/Aids,’ brags city man

A Kenyan man has left may in shock after admitting that he sleeps with a banana plant (mgomba) to avoid the risk of getting infected with HIV/Aids.

*John* says he reached that decision after his uncle passed away after contracting the same disease.

I come from a very poor background, so my uncle – from my dads side – took the initiative of taking care of us. Buying us cloths and other things before death struck.

After my uncle’s death my mum assured me that he had been bewitched only for me to learn that he died from Aids.

It is then that I deiced not to risk dying of Aids, I decided to be sleeping with a banana plant (mgomba).”

King Mswati’s order to men to be polygamous excites the internet

depressed_man_original_12044-603x377

What I do is, I drill a hole and pour hot water into it before proceeding to fulfill my sexual urges. I cannot marry because I get my urges satisfied so why would I want a woman?

I have a girlfriend and that is the mgomba.

My parents have been pushing me to marry given that I am an only child and I am not interested despite the fact that I am 27 years old.

What would you advice John to do?

And what is the weirdest myth you have ever heard about HIV/Aids?

Put your answer in the comment section, they may help John change his mind and get a real human bae.

Read more

‘I’ll get married when I want, marriage is no joke’ – Matilda of TRHK

Real House helps of Kawangware actress Matilda has revealed that she is not in a rush to get married. According to her, marriage is not an institution to be rushed into.

The sassy TV damsel addressed this topic during a live video interaction on social media after a majority of her fans raised the question whether she is married or not.

‘Why do people feel like marriage is easy? I have never been married before but thing I am sure of is that marriage is not an easy thing.

Marriage is a serious commitment it is not something you just wake and make a decision about.

I will get married when I want.

Things Kenyans do that foreigners may find bizarre

Real House helps of Kawangware actress Matilda
Real House helps of Kawangware actress Matilda

She continued, “I cannot get married or have kids just because people want me to do so.

If I rush getting married and get into problems will the people asking me to get married now, help me out?”

‘I caught my husband raping my 7 year old daughter’ Cries Christabel

Kenya actress Matilda
Kenya actress Matilda

Matilda’s fans also wondered if she was a mother

No I am not a mother, yet. Most people confuse me with my fellow actress Njambi because she is the one who is a mother of one.

Read more

‘Karma has caught up with me for sleeping with married men’ Cries woman

An article published in a local newspaper has left many in shock.

According to the article, a lodging owner earns Sh84,000 per day by providing bedding services to couples, when business is slow.

Well Maina Kageni was left wondering why men always say they do not have money yet according to the article on Standard, men pay sh1500 per hour entertaining women in lodgings.

That is minus drinks and other expenses.

 

A black couple on a date
A black couple on a date

According to Mwalimu King’ang’i, it depends on how a woman asks for money from her man, adding that if you nag and shout you will definitely get nothing.

A female caller confessed that years ago she used to date married men who spoilt her with loads of cash, but now her husband spends cash on other women instead.

‘5 years ago I was the side chick and I would get everything I wanted. Karma has caught up with me.

My husband does not come home, he does not give me money yet I lost my job two months ago.

He does not come home from Monday to Thursday. I only see him on Friday and only when he decides to come.

I never used to care whether the men I dated were married or not.

I know my man is cheating on me but I can only tell young women that Karma is a b#tch.

 

Another caller adds

Women should know that these guys are very cunning they make sure they are with their wife’s on weekends and spend time with mipango wa kando on weekends.

Every time I ask my husband for school fees he usually starts bringing issues of kwani where do I take my salary.

Once he steps out I usually know he is not mine but once he comes back he is mine.

If I ever catch him cheating that will be the end of the road.

Read more

‘Mpango wa kando beat me up after dumping him,’ Narrates city woman

We all know many married men and women seek mpango wa kando services just for a short term thrill or rather use them as a distraction.

But according to one lady named Emily, her mpango wa kando got pretty attached to her thrills and could not stomach being dumped.

Emily said she noticed the mpango being too clingy and needy compared to her husband and told him she was thinking of ending the affair.

The man never took it lightly and when Emily started ignoring his calls, he made his way to her work place and pounced on her beating her up mercilessly.

Irked by his actions she planned to get one over him and this she did after the mpango wa kando invited her over for a chill out.

She tried to talk herself out of the relationship but he would not take no for an answer and the two ended up exchanging blows before breaking up.

Read her narration below.

Mimi nilikuwa na mpango wa kando na nikaona anakuja sana hata kuliko mzee wangu, na nikataka kumtoka. Nikajaribu mbinu zote kumtoka ikakataa.

Sasa siku ingine sikushika simu zake zote, wacha anikute job si aliniona war. Ushawahi ona mtu anapigwa na mpango aki ya mungu? Nilionwa war aki ya mungu.

Alinipiga kwa sababu nilitaka kumwacha sasa nami nikaamua dawa ya moto ni moto, akaniita mahali na nikaenda.

Nikamwambia mimi vile nilikwambia ni ivo, nikaona anataka kuleta fujo tulionana war sasa ni mtu na mwingine. Sasa ni kupigana, moto juu ya mwingine mpaka ikaisha ivo.

Unajua huwezi ambia bwana shida ni gani unamdanganya kuwa unaskia mwili ni mchovu, halafu anajua mimi ni mchokozi.

 

Male students more knowledgeable on contraceptives compared to ladies

The media is the main source of information about sex with internet (films/videos) being top of the list according to a recent research.

The research carried out by TIFA shows that the other main sources were school teachers.

Parents and religious leaders are not majorly considered as a preferred source of information on sex.

image-2019-04-19(4)(1)

 

‘I suspected it too’ Tanasha Donna clears the air on pregnancy rumors

image-2019-04-19(6)(1)

The study also found out that half the students have had a discussion on sexual related matters at least once in the past 12months.

Female students are seen to have discussed more than males. The students mostly have discussions with their parents(either father,mother or both).

‘I almost quit my marriage’ Nameless opens up on his marriage struggles

 More than half the students have watched pornographic content with 62% being male students and 37% female.

image-2019-04-19(5)(1)

‘We love compliments too’ Men reveal things they wish their baes would do

33% of the students interviewed have no idea that having unprotected sex once can resulting in  pregnancy.

However, 60% of the students are knowledgeable about the possibility of 1st time sex pregnancy.

25% of the students have engaged in sexual intercourse with the majority of them being male.Students start engaging in sex at the tender age of 13years.

43% of the students know someone who engaged in sex during the holidays, with the male students (48%) having more knowledge than the female students (30%).

 

Read more

‘I have slept with nearly 100 men,’ Confesses Kenyan woman

A Kenyan lady by the name Rosy left many speechless after confessing that she has slept with close to a 100 men.

Interestingly, the lady who hails from Kiambu is convinced that she is not a prostitute but just a lady who loves having fun.

According to Rosy, a self confessed hard headed lady, she can’t tolerate a man who doesn’t treat her right and if she senses an ounce of disrespect which includes a weird eye contact, she will run and cheat!

Asked whether she uses protection in her sexual escapades, Rosy claimed that it is hard to do it on a regular, adding that she is blessed to have a talent which helps her detect whether a man is infected with STI’s or not.

Read her narration below.

Wacha nikwambie mimi nimeshacheza hiyo michezo hata ni mungu tu amenilinda, michezo nimecheza hata mwanaume atanioa najua ananiskiza. Hawezi nikosea nikose kwenda nje.

Hata akinitusi au anifanyie madharau akienda nami pia natoka, mimi hata akiniangalia na macho mbaya akienda kazini nami natoka.

Mimi nikama mayai anishike mkono, hata najua mwenye atanioa ananiskia akinikosea nami natoka.

How many men have you slept with?

Hata siwezi hesabu kwani wako karibu tisaini na kitu, lakini kila mwezi mimi huenda check up nikipimwa naskia niko sawa naskia sina magonjwa mengi nasema thank you Jesus.

Do you use protection?

Sio rahisi, wacha ni kwambie nikikuona na macho najua kama wewe ni mgonjwa au wewe ni mzima, hiyo ni kipawa nilipewa na mungu.

Do you consider yourself a prostitute?

Aii apana!

Cohabiting couples are more fearful of splitting up than married people

Almost four in ten families with unmarried parents are in danger of breaking apart, research suggests. Statistics show unmarried couples are more fearful.

While 39 per cent of cohabiting mothers and fathers had ‘serious doubts’ their family would stay together, only 27 per cent of married ones had similar concerns.

couples-talking-e1425549393892

The findings were based on a survey of nearly 16,500 parents in 11 countries, including 2,344 from the UK. Scientists at the University of Virginia worked on the project for the US-based Institute for Family Studies.

When asked if their relationship was more important than other things in their life only 54 per cent of cohabitee parents put their partnership first.

By contrast, 71 per cent of married parents said their relationship was their top priority.

Dailymail

Post Valentines: Ways to still spice up your relationship

Valentines is long gone, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep things heated up.

You need to still spice up your relationship and make your relationship fun.

These are some of the things you should do to keep the fire burning;

1. Cook for your spouse 

Everyone loves home made food and preparing dinner for your partner will definitely get you in the mood. This will make them feel appreciated, loved and thought of. Make his/her favorite meal he/she will love it more.

valentines dinner

2. Random Gifts

If you got her something on valentines then it doesn’t end there. She will feel special when you send her some random flowers to the office and some chocolate or when you get her something that she needs.

valentines gift

This also applies to ladies, gift him when he doesn’t expect it and surprise him. Show him that you also think of him.

3. Date night

Set a side a day and go for dinner. Both of you should dress up like it’s your first date. Ladies, make your hair buy a nice dinner dress, make your nails and impress him. Men, get a clean nice fitting suit and get a fresh haircut. Make the date worth the while. Don’t wait for valentines day.

valentines datenight

4. Road trip

Save up and plan for a road trip to a far destination and spend some quality time together. Enjoy each others time, take sometime out of your busy lives. Learn each other more, talk and even play.

valentines dateish

5. Movie night together

This can be a movie date to the cinemas and also a movie night in the comfort of your home. But the experience of watching a movie together is a definite plus one in spicing up your relationship. This will definitely feel like valentines day.

valentines movie

 

Top 9 signs he is just a waste of your time

When you start hanging out with someone, it can take a while to figure out where you actually stand. Maybe you’ve had fun hanging out, and hooking up, but how do you decide whether or not this should be something more? Is this just going to be a fling is he wasting your time or is this something real?

It can be hard to tell, especially when you really like someone. Sometimes your romantic feelings can get in the way of seeing who they really are, and you might waste time trying to turn a hook-up into a relationship when you should have just walked away.

Well you still have to be honest with yourself. Below are red flags to know he is just a waste of your time & you have to cut the cord;

  • Been together for long but no title to the relationship.

Girl, either ask him to define where both of you stand or walk out. He’s wasting your time boo!

  • If he moves too fast.

Not talking of physical, but already calling you boo/babe, talking of moving in together whereas you have known each other for less than a month. Get to be friends first. No relationship flourishes without a good friendship base. When the love runs out you can’t stick together.

  • If you start dating two months or less after his break up with a 1 year or more relationship.

I mean that sounds more of a rebound & more likely, he might still be in love with the ex. Honestly you wouldn’t expect him to be over her that fast. An exemption would be, if you had a thing going on before his break up which is not any better.

  • There’s no emotional connection.

Hooking up is fun, but there is so much more to a relationship. But a true connection goes beyond getting dinner and going to a movie. Maybe you just need to get to know each other better, or maybe he has no interest in getting to know you on that level. If that’s the case, you deserve so much better, and you need to find someone who wants that deep connection.

  • When together but always on phone

Picking up calls or texting clearly, he would rather be somewhere else or doing something else than spend time with you or have a solid one on one conversation.

  • If he doesn’t show interest in your hobbies.

Sometimes, we end up dating people who are extremely different from us. It’s okay to have totally different hobbies and interests as long as the two of you share some of the same core values. But what if he doesn’t take any interest in your hobbies at all? That’s a huge red flag.

  • If he brings down your self esteem.

He should make you feel beautiful and confident, not insecure. However, some men just don’t respect women and will not treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. If he ever makes rude comments about your body, suggests that you should wear more makeup, or change something about your appearance, you should think very seriously about whether or not this is truly the person you want to be with.

  • He blows off plans.

You make plans to spend time together but by the middle of the week, he has forgotten like it’s least of his concerns. There’s no point in trying to make plans with someone who is just going to blow them off in the end. You deserve to be with someone who really cares about spending plenty of time with you.

  • If he breaks promises.

One of the most important aspects of any relationship is trust. If you can’t really trust someone but doubt, how can you be friends with them, let alone date them?

I paid my own dowry and my husband still dumped me after losing my leg

A lady by the name Maggie left many in shock after she revealed that she actually used her own cash to help her husband pay for her dowry, and she was eventually dumped.

Speaking in an exclusive interview, Maggie, narrated how she met her ex- husband while in University and the two fell in love amid warnings from her parents not to marry the young man.

Desperate not to lose her soul mate, she had to lie to her parents that her fiance was a wealthy man in a bid to convince them to give their blessings for her to finally tie the knot with his prince charming.

Destined to keep her man, she actually forked out Sh100,000 from her own pocket to help the poor soul settle the bride price – wait for it… he still dumped her!

Maggie, despite her undying love and sacrifice for her man, she was dumped after she lost her leg following a road accident.

She narrated;

I helped my husband settle my bride price. I loved him unconditionally and he was not employed. We met in the university and my parents were against our union so I had to lie that he is a wealthy man.

She added:

I gave him Sh100,000 which he used to pay for my dowry but he later on dumped me. I was involved in a horrible accident and after one of my legs was amputated, he said he could not live with me since I was unable to have a baby.

But I am now doing okay emotionally because I was counseled.

Kiherere mtaacha! Habits women should drop after moving into their men’s house ASAP

Women have on several occasions confessed to tricking men so that they can move in with them and men are not impressed, with many saying wanakandamizwa.

There are also things that they unconsciously do and it does not sit well with men.

Here are some of the things that women should drop ASAP

‘All I want is justice’ Family of slain teenager in Kisii and body dumped in a pond speak out

1. Kukatalia kwa nyumba yake

Ladies, whether you help  pay the rent or not you have no right kukatalia in a man’s house. Don’t forget that man is not your father so he owes you NOTHING.

2. Appointing yourself as the wife

As long as he has not introduced you to his closest friends and family, acha kiherehere ya kuambi awatu kw plot ‘by the way am nani’s wife’ – who appointed you?

3. Don’t visit his house uninvited

Women we are tired of all the drama once you find out your man showcasing his bedroom skills to someone else.

So instead of kumeza panadol juu ya heachache ya mtu mwingine, just visit only when invited if you can’t kaa kwenyu maisha ni ngumu kwa kila mtu.

‘Babe mbona sasa tulipe rent mbili’ Men expose lies women tell so as to move in together

4. Stop creating trouble with his neighbors

I know you might think that just because you are dating you might think you have the right to create trouble with mama wa kufua nguo, caretaker or even mama mboga.

But believe you me as long as it’s his house and he has not put a ring on it, you have no say.

5. Disorganizing his household items

With the determination to prove you are a wife material you might be tempted to rearrange or reorganize furniture or even sort out his clothes, but before you do kemea hio pepo.

Until he tells you to just seat and enjoy his company or watch the newest series.

Read more

 

Here’s A List Of Things That A Good Man Will Never Do

The beauty about being in a relationship is that you get to share things with your partner. While that is great you also need to remember that someone should be with you and accept you for who you are.

You don’t need to be with someone who will make you feel less of a person. There are people who are blessed with words but always remember that words can’t do anything if actions don’t match.

If you are dating a good man here is a list of things that he will not  do to you, and if he does then he’s not a good man.

1. Never pick on your looks You may not be Heidi Klum, Halle Berry etc but a good man will never pick on your looks or ask you to wear make up or dress in a certain way. A good man will never demean you or make you feel any less of a person. Your self esteem is important to him as it is to you.

2. Invade your privacy – In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, facebook messages, whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them if you happen to leave your phone around or your computer open. (Unless you have done something suspicious) Someone who does this is showing massive insecurity on their part and is likely projecting their own infidelities and issues onto you. This should not be ignored.

3. Never discourage you – A sign of a person’s confidence in themselves is how they help to support the ambition of others. A good man will always be willing to help and support those around him and will never be discouraging or insulting.

4. Recognize your value – If you have to constantly prove your worth to someone then they are not worth the time. You should be with someone because they value and appreciate who you are not how well you trace yourself for them.

5. Make you feel like an afterthought – While a relationship shouldn’t be someone’s entire life, it’s certainly a large part of it. I’ve heard too many stories about women who constantly get cast aside for “guy’s night” or something similar. A man should have have a network and individuality, sure. But there is a difference between leading an active social life, and knocking the woman in your life further and further down your priority list. If you feel like you’re waiting for him to come home more than you’re actually with him, it’s time to step back and take another look at where your relationship is going.

-Informationng

Ladies Here’s A List Of The Reasons Why He Dumped You

Heartbreaks are so painful and take time to heal. However, we may be the cause of our own pain because of things we do consciously or unconsciously. We get heartbroken time and time again yet we don’t know why.

Well here are some of the reasons why :

1. You don’t listen – When someone talks to you, you should listen, this means that you are keen to hear what is being said. Many women listen with the aim of replying which means they don’t get the message. Let your man speak his mind and stop interrupting him. A man wants someone who will listen to them, not someone who will make him feel like his opinion doesn’t matter.

2. Listening to your friends – Friendships are important and we all need them, however we need to know when to draw the lines between our friendship and your relationships. Three is a crowd, you cannot let your friends opinions run things between you and your man.

3. He’s not dating your family – Just like friendships, family is also important, but again you need to draw the line. What happens between you and your man is between the two of you and not your family. If you have a small fight and keep running to tell it to your family then you will lose your man as he will be in constant war with his in-laws and will probably end up avoiding them.

4. Separate lives – Just because you are dating, doesn’t mean that you have to spend 100% of the time together. We all have our separate lives. You can’t drag your man to the shopping sprees, salon, and picnics with the girls etc. Chances are your man won’t drag you along when he goes to watch the game or have drinks with the boys.

5. Questioning – If your man wanted to be questioned about his every move and decision he would just go to prison. You are not his guard, so let him do his own thing. Questioning him all the time about where he is, what he is doing etc will make you single.

6. Being too dependent – Men want a grown woman who can handle her business, but still let him know that there’s a place in her life that only he can fill. If you come to a guy for every single thing, and can’t seem to make up your mind or make decisions … it will eventually get tiring and he will move on.

7. Negative – All human beings make mistakes every once in while. Nobody can stand always being criticized because it belittles them. People like to be appreciated so if you never have anything good to say he will look for it elsewhere.

List Of 5 Concrete Reasons Why You Should Avoid Dating A Staunch Football Fan!

So many times, I find myself entangled in football related arguments with ladies, and the more I argue with them on the benefits of football, the more I realize why I might probably wed when am 45.

Why? This is because it always gives me reasons why I should either avoid dating, or avoid ladies who think time spent watching football as a waste of precious time.

Honestly, I can’t live without football and yes I know I won’t marry that small leather ball.

So in regards to that I decided to highlight five concrete reasons why you should avoid a die hard football fan.

  1. COLD NIGHTS

Dear ladies, it is as simple as 1,2,3. Just the way you can stay up all night keeping up with the Kardashians, that’s pretty close to how much sleep we can sacrifice to make sure we don’t miss a piece of football action.

So when am out there with the boys enjoying some Real Madrid vs Juventus match, you better look for my football socks and two pillows because the night will be extra cold.

2. FIXTURES

Basically this would pop up in every point but thing is; If we are dating and we had planned to go sky diving, zip lining or even visit my in laws on a certain Saturday, which I thought there would be no football action, then all over sudden a. football fixture pops up on that same date, there is no way I am missing the game. Sorry.

3. ATTENTION

Ladies love attention. In fact, it’s more of a basic need especially in relationships and this is where football always wins.

Apart from sneaking out of the bed at night to watch a game, we at times would love to invite you or probably say yes to your proposal of accompanying us to the game. Question is; Would you still get mad when my eyes will be fixed on the Television screen instead of your beautiful brown eyes?

A loyal football fan would be like “I mean c’mon it’s 90 minutes only, after that I’m all yours babe.”

4. VIOLENCE

Another major reason why you should avoid a staunch football fan like a plague is the probability of the guy being involved in arguments which later result to violence.

This mostly happens during football derbies, for example; Arsenal vs Chelsea, Manchester City vs Manchester United where both sections of opposing fans normally engage in banters which become heated at times.

We all know what these could lead to and you would not want to turn into his nurse or his shield when beer bottles start flying in the club.

5. EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE

This acts as a cover that joins the other four points.

Your bae will never be happy around you for a couple of hours if not a week when his favorite team gets a huge beating on a Sunday night, after the two of you spent the afternoon all cuddled up.

One defeat won’t hurt as much, till it becomes a habit where Arsenal go for six games without registering a win and that would mean six weeks of a moody boyfriend, which will definitely hurt your relationship.

Study shows your intimacy life is influenced by your parent’s relationship

How often do you hug or kiss your partner in front of your children? Now think about how your parents behaved when you were growing up. Were they openly tactile and affectionate? Or was there a distinct froideur in the air?

For most of us, thinking about our parents’ sex lives feels deeply uncomfortable, but understanding this formative relationship can be the key to unlocking insights into ourselves. The way our parents interacted profoundly affects how we perceive love, intimacy and sex for the rest of our lives.

The ways they demonstrated affection and expressed their sexuality (were they at ease with their bodies? Or prudish and full of self-loathing?) seeped into your subconscious.

Your ‘sexual spring’, as I call it — you might also term it your sexual DNA — is the set of instincts handed down through generations that govern how you connect with others and how you feel and understand intimacy.

My advice, honed over more than 30 years spent working with couples, individuals and teens, will enable you to understand the preconceptions you have internalised.

Showing affection is important — but being overtly sexual is damaging. Teaching children to do well is important; competing with them is excessive.

-Dailymail

Sbonza Ni Wewe! 5 compelling reasons why young girls should stay away from ‘sponsors’

Do you ever look through your Instagram feed and wonder how in the world your female pals can afford to take off to exotic holiday destinations, yet there you are trying to hustle to afford buying the Sh90 ‘imported mexican’ maize?

Sheesh! Kenyans on social media are known not to have chills when they respond in the comments section demanding that the young girl post a picture of the ‘sponsor’ behind the vacation.

Having a sponsor has become so fashionable, one can’t miss spotting a young Kenyan girl desperately holding onto an ‘ancestor’ as they are referred to.

I know it’s been said by most ladies in our generation who love dating old men, that they love ‘monied men for multiple reasons. Campus girls are notorious for dating ‘sponsors’.

Here are my five reasons why you should disown that ancestor BUT if you really must date one, how about you emulate the French President who married a much older woman for LOVE?

1.) Are you ready for a child or fun

If you want to wait to have a kid until you’re in your early 30s, your older man is going to be about 50. Having to run around after a 5-year-old is hard work, especially if it’s been that much longer since your man had a child. And trust me he will also need as much attention as the baby as you will be taking care of all his needs. He won’t be strong enough.Your kid will also have a challenge as most kids in school will mistake his father for his grandfather.

2.) You need to respect him like your father

He is older than you and he already has kids who are almost the same age as you, they respect him and the only difference between you and his kids is that you are sleeping with him. ‘So you need to know that age demands a certain level of respect. You will feel inferior and cant negotiate with him as easily as you would have with a younger man, which means you will literally be his adopted child more than you will be his young wife. Are you ready to be ordered around and be set for curfews?

3.) Your suggestions and opinions hardly count

He has lived more than you and seen more than you so by the time you settle down together, he’ll have amassed life experiences and won’t have time for your shenanigans. Your life will end up being smaller in comparison since your shared years will make up far more of your total life experience than his. He will make most of the decisions and you will have no say in the relationship as you will have to listen to daddy yo…. sorry your husband…. all the time. It’s not fun at all.

4.) You will make enough visits to buy Viagra at the chemist

At your age, I can imagine how much more you’ll be sexually active and you can’t get it all the time. Remember to him it’s not a big deal as he has had it all his life, so unless you’re fine with ‘starving ‘, think again. Then before you know it since you are a prisoner, you may have to ask the watch man or shamba boy to service you. Women supposedly experience their sexual peak at age 35, while men allegedly go downhill after turning 18..remember this is all  allegedly. Why take your chances? So think smart as money is not everything.

5.) Your Friends and his friends

The places you want to hang out, the songs you listen to, the dancing and fun you have will be worlds apart. He won’t be able to mesh easily with your crowd and will stick out like a graying, sore thumb at parties attended by fresh-faced 25-year-olds. Likewise for you at his friends’ gatherings. Most of them met his ex wife so be sure that his friends’ wife’s are not going to make life any easier for you. These women will specifically go out of their way to make you feel not welcome in their crowd. You become an automatic threat to them by being naturally prettier and having the all-powerful asset of youth.

If this doesn’t matter to you, do you boo.