Team work makes the dream work, or is that how the saying goes?
Girls, is your husband this committed to work, life and balance?
We were browsing the interwebs and landed on a picture of a man helping out taking care of the child, while he works and exercises. Talk about work, life and balance. See how engrossed he is in multi tasking.
It’s Thursday and we are throwing it back to the time a man placed a newspaper ad to apologize to his wife.
Francis Onyiso a KDF officer was said to have once placed an ad in the local dailies in 2014.
The husband regretted having cheated on his spouse and paid for an advert that certainly got national attention.
In the advert on Star newspaper, Mr Onyiso asked his wife Janet Aoko Owino to forgive him for the pain he had caused her and the rest of his family.
I, Francis Onyiso, take this opportunity to apologize to my beloved wife Janet Aoko Owino for the pain I have caused her and the family. I ask for forgiveness and promise never to repeat again, the advert stated.
Although it was a small ad, Kenyans who are very good detectives noticed the ad and took screenshots making it go viral.
While it has been six years on, we pray and hope the couple found peace and were able to get past this issue. Love wins!
The reason this has resurfaced is because of Kikuyu musician Samidoh who wrote an apology letter to his wife for cheating and siring a child with another woman.
Samidoh on March 2nd shared his apology below on his social media acounts, leading to discussion about how men shouldn’t apologize for taking on another women because after all polygamy is now legal in Kenya.
Dear Classic 105 fam, is it a must that gifts be returned once a couple breaks up?
A story of a South African man who demolished the house he gifted his girlfriend after they break up went viral.
The man figured that since she no longer had feelings for him, he would take back the lavish mansion by demolishing it.
This was the topic of discussion on Classic 105 on Tuesday morning, where Maina argued that it is petty for a man to demand gifts be returned but co host Mwalimu insisted that assets must be returned.
I want to know when things don’t work out what happens to the things you bought her? Maina queried to which Mwalimu gave his take that
“si huyo msichana alimwambia hana feelings anymore hamsikii what was he supposed to do? Na title ya nyumba hio iko kwa jina ya mwanamke na ni wewe umejenga ?bomoa! Kama love imeisha basi rudisha vitu zake, you don’t need to stay with things if they remind you of him please rudisha vitu ueende ukanunuliwa na mwanaume mwingine ata nguo rudisha si tumemalizana?
Male callers were very excited about this topic and supported Mwalimu Kingangi that assets must be handed back.
The first male caller said “you can’t use me as a bridge to reach another destination I will destroy that bridge bomoa hiyo daraja we enda kule unaenda nitabomoa”
A second male caller heartily dug in saying “there is a huge difference between a gift and an asset, these ladies are becoming very clever and I support the guy who demolished that house and ladies will learn especially her in Kenya that’s why you are seeing alot of killings all because of things like these rudisha assets”
Yet another man slammed women’s behavior saying “girls should know that free things are long gone women should make their own money to avoid embarrassment if you don’t love me anymore return my things”
Do you agree that items gifted during a relationship should be returned once the romance is over?
We are in a new era where younger men are dating older women and some do it for her money, and what they can gain.
So fellas if you are her toy boy, here is a list of rules you should follow to make sure you successfully date her.
1. When she laughs, laugh harder
2. Be romantic
She lives in a world where people are fake to her, so she is looking for true emotions. Here’s where your charm should come in. Make her emotions come alive and things will fall in place. Trust me, chicks dig this.
3. Be sexy and attentive
Be attentive to her emotional clues. Some women have a hard time telling a man just what she needs emotionally, so as a kept man, your attention to her clues is key. Make her feel special.
4. Don’t try to keep up with her spending habits
Avoid talking about always being broke, it’s a turn off, secondly foot some bills especially if its not too much, she will appreciate it and will repay in double.
5. Don’t be too obsessed with the income gap
Although it will always be that she earns a gazillion more shillings than you, fellas use your charm on her and show her its not money that counts. Show her you are a caring, funny, kind and interesting man in spite of the matter. a real woman won’t make you spend money you don’t have and she will understand your financial situation
6. Be a gentleman
A little chivalry never hurt. This is where you bring out your manners, opening doors for her, calling her frequently during the day to check if she;s fine, get her car fixed because she doesn’t have time, and make yourself useful around her house.
7. Show her you are a motivated man
Showing your woman you are working towards making your life better will make her happy. A woman like to see a man who is working toward a goal.
8. Show her how creative you can be
Dates don’t always have to be about having money. Cook for her and trust me fellas she will love the effort. We have always heard that its the effort that counts. In case you are stuck, refer to Nameless who said he takes Wahu on cheap dates because it’s the effort.
9. If all else fails, win over her friends
Why? they will convince her you are a great guy who deserves a second chance .Make them your allies and you will score major points.
Dear Classic 105 fam, do you think you could try these tips and let us know how it went?
On the Friday morning conversation on Classic 105, listeners agreed that it is a risky thing to invest in your spouse as you never know the outcome. Many were of the view that if things don’t end well, just move on.
One such listener called Maina Kageni and gave her experience with her husband.
She detailed how he was broke and jobless and she decided as a loving wife to invest in him in the hopes hat he will success and help out with family bills.
“Let me tell you Maina, it is ts risky investing in men. I did that to my man. Sometime back I was the only one working after he lost his job. So he stayed home for sometime so I saw he was wasting his time, so I thought let me do something. He told me he has an idea of reselling vegetables and all he needs is a car. So I took a loan, bought him a Probox, and started selling and making money and then after sometime like three four months I don’t know what happened.
He started behaving funny and I would ask him to give me soem money to top up but he would respond ‘kwani you are not working?’ then he would say ati his money is occupied, so nikanyamaza, and then a second time I asked him again because I saw he was making alot of money. He told ne si uchukuwe loan. Yes Maina, that is my husband the father of my children, you can imagine how risky it is investing in men, we are still together but I do not touch any of his money and remember I was the source of the money. If I didn’t buy him that car, I don’t know what he would be doing now, I will never help him ever again, he sold the probox and bought a Noah, but well it’s ok”
Girls, kujeni hapa. It’s time to have a chat about your deep desire to look through your mans phone. What are you hoping to achieve?
Is it ever okay to snoop through your partners phone? That was the discussion by Kenyans on Twitter recently and many gave their examples of the horrifying things one goes through after snooping.
People often go through their partner’s phone because they’re worried about what secrets or illicit activity he or she might be hiding.
One woman said that it is so mentally draining that she would go through PTSD. Twitter user @City_girllll PTSD won’t let me go thru a niggas phone If you leave it unlocked next to me I will kindly just lock it for you
You’re not about to have my chest vibrating at 6am
Another @Odero_nicole replied to her comment saying my toxic self could never
While @DefneyOwuor added her thoughts that aaah I’m always saying this life I can’t kill myself. Then I choose death
One thing is if you are looking for trouble, you will find it. So what next? Here’s what happens to you 1. It makes you into someone you don’t want to be
Nobody likes the person that they become when they are consumed with wanting to snoop. You hang around hoping he will go to the balcony or the bathroom, to give you time to snoop. And if he takes time before leaving his phone alone, it drives you nuts. Do you like the person you’ve become? Huh? Sis, your self esteem is not worth this.
2. You will always be giving him side eye when he’s looking through his phone
Is it worth always sitting next to him and glancing side ways hoping to see what he is looking at? It speaks insecurity to me, so girls no more snooping. Please drop this nasty habit.
3. It sabotages your closeness
We have seen many celebrities say they have forgiven their spouse after snooping, however doubts will always linger. Your spouse will lose trust in you wondering why you violated their privacy. Many relationships never bounce back after one partner confesses to spying on anothers phone or social media accounts.
4. You become fixated on them and put yourself in a weaker position
When you live your life worrying about what your spouse is upto, you have shifted the power dynamics and are in a weaker position in that relationship. You live your everyday life obsessed with what they are up to, and sis this is draining emotionally, physically and spiritually. Don’t do this to yourself.
On the Tuesday morning conversation, Maina asked listeners to respond to a statement that the late Simeon Nyachae wife Grace made urging men to invest in their wives to avoid being dumped and left lonely years later.
“I listen to you calling your wives devils, mashetani but do you realize what you do to this woman determines how she treats you in old age? Maina asked. Ladies, huu ni mwaka wa kuambiana ukweli. Do you understand the correlation between how you treat her now and how she treats you later in your life” Maina said
One man said it’s rubbish to invest in Kenyan women, calling them ungrateful, all this because of his pals experience with a women who took off after he paid for her life abroad.
“I have a friend of mine who made plans for his wife to go to America, and he went out of his way to make sure of that. She disappeared kabisa. Now last year, she sneaked into Kenya for the holidays and the man never knew she came home. Yani, her Kenyan husband didn’t know, yet she went to America two years ago, she is supporting her Kenyan husband, and came back for the Christmas holidays, for around one month, the husband did not know she was around. She went back to America, she was using her American line to make calls so he never suspected she was in Kenya. I’m told she even married someone else in America. Let me tell you Maina, educate our Kenyan men to stop being dunda heads, you meet with a slay queen, invest in her then along the way, you are dumped then you start drinking kumi kumi, it’s about time we men start learning from other mens experiences”
During the burial of the late Simeon Nyachae on Monday February 15th, one of his widows advised Kenyan men that they should invest in their wives, lest they are left alone in old age.
Grace Nyachae addressing mourners said
“Young men, invest in your wives. When it became necessary, I was ready to look after Mzee because over the years he had invested in me. When you don’t invest in your wife, when your time of need comes, pahali ulikuwa wacha wakuchunge,” Mrs Nyachae said.
And this was the topic Maina Kageni and Mwalimu spoke about on Tuesday morning. Maina asked Kenyans to give their opinion on her advise and one man said he regrets investing in his wife.
The man confessed that
“Maina let me tell you. I’m a very young man in marriage. And I don’t agree in that advise of investing in your wife, through my experience. I have one kid with my wife. I was workign abroad for ten years, then last year, job ikaisha because of corona, and I returned home. I had 600k in my savings, then I saw I talk to my wife how we can save the money together, I told her to keep it safe, I told my wife hii pesa tusave kwa account yako, coz I’m new in Kenya. Right now as we speak, I don’t have a wife, alitoroka na kila kitu I was just left there. Alienda na kila kitu, I can tell you hii generation tuko nayo, Maina I’m telling you I’ve been away ten years, she’s gone with my child, so mimi naishi right now kwa nyumba ya mabati, yet I used to live in a two bedroomed house. I told her we put the money in a joint account, she convinced me to give her atm, that was the last time I saw the money, and that was my escape plan coz job iliisha juu ya corona”
On the Tuesday morning conversation, Maina spoke about a topic trending after the Late Simeon Nyachae’s widow Grace advised men to invest in their wives.
Grace told mourners that “young men invest in your wives. When it became necessary I was ready to look after mzee because over the years he had invested in me. When you don’t invest in your wife and your time of need comes, it’s like, pahali ulikuwa wacha wakuchunge”While discussing this on Tuesday morning conversation Maina Kageni asked women if they see themselves with the father of their children in his old age.
“I loved the way they respected that man in his send off. Now the late Simeon had five wives. They all traveled to the stadium in a bus as a family. Now one of his widows Grace advised men “please invest in your wives because they will take care of you in old age. I listen to you calling your wives devils, mashetani but do you realize what you do to this woman determines how she treats you in old age? Maina asked. Ladies, huu ni mwaka wa kuambiana ukweli. Do you understand the correlation between how you treat her now and how she treats you later in your life” Maina added
Ladies when you look at the father of your children, do you think you will be with him when he is 80? And then you wonder why your children leave you when old and they go to America to live with their children. Do Kenyan men know t invest in their wives? Do you see yourself being with him in his old age? Tuambieni ukweli”
A woman called in with her sad experience detailed below.
I’ve been married for the last 20 years, and I moved out with my kids on January 16th this year. because I decided I will not be treated badly throughout my life and its been going on for very long time. I said enough is enough
I knew I would leave him, because he used to provide for us, he paid school fees but it reached a point where he stopped providing, he stopped paying fees, he stopped buying food, he started coming home late, calling me malaya, telling our children that I’m a prostitute, that your mother sleeps with small boys and it reached a point my first born told me mum if I were you I would not be here, I would have left kitambo. This man has been treating me badly in front of our children, I have three children, and when we moved out, he had not been home for two days.
When he would come home, it was matusi, kelele infact it reached a point when he comes home at night drunk, he tells my son to warm his food, then if I make a mistake and go to the kitchen, he would run after me thinking I want to poison his food. I am a christian, I can never kill anybody, also what made me leave him he was cheating he was with this woman going to our business place with her, infront of my employees, so this year I just said enough is enough. I left him with our bed, everything else I took because I bought it”
The woman told an upset Maina that this is disgusting behavior. Maina agreed asking any man over the age of 25 what they are still doing in mummys house “what are you still doing there” he questioned.
“Let me tell you Maina, I have an uncle he is in his forties, he has been living with his mother – my grandmother- since I was born, they live in Mathare, I guess he is in 40s. When he wakes up, he finds breakfast made by his mother, his lunch and dinner will also be cooked by my grandmother. Can you imagine even my dad who is in his 50s has moved back home. So they live there with their elderly mother – my grandmother- she feeds them, and takes care of all their financial needs. I don’t know what their problem is, yet the grandkids are all hustlers, we are doing jobs to make money and be independent”
Many callers insisted that it’s the new reality that men are still stuck or now moving back home, to bother their parents.
those men who are still wako kwa mama zao, ni wale from wealthy family,
Sisi hustlers tulitoka kwa mzazi at age of 22. Trying to make ends meet.
#MainaAndKingangi My cousin is over 40 Na anakaa Kwa mamake food anapewa Na mamake pesa yake niya pombe tu
Maina there’s another kajamaa hapa Jirani who comes at curfew hours and start knocking his mother’s house akiitisha chakula … Na mamake anafungua anampa chakula na anamuuliza amechelewa wapi.
I think parents are the cause
Maina I have a cousin who is now 45yrs. After he graduated in medicine from India. He came back home and selected a favourite spot at his mum’s living room where he is absent only when sleeping. His mum even bring him snacks
A Wednesday morning conversation on Classic 105, led to one city woman confessing to what extent she goes financially for her pastor.
Maina and Kingangi were talking about Kenyan womens obsession with male pastors that led to three questions Maina wanted answered.
He asked women to tell why they prefer opening up to pastors more than their husband and why they hand over money so willingly, plus why they call them daddy!
One city woman called in with her personal experience below.
“Let me tell you maina, women prefer pastors to hus and because mostly women need a listen ing ear, they appreciate us, which is what pastors give us.
I would like men to learn the psychology part from pastors, I talk to my pastor we need someone who is just listening and then we feel pastors are interfaces on behalf of the people.. so we tell the pastors everything, to offload, they listen to us we open up more whereas our husbands go roaring to us and we just disappear to the kitchen. I cannot offload to mu husband the pastors do well, they make us feel so important. They tell us sweet words then you realize ngai my car is gone. I bought my pastor a whole new tv and even paid for delivery fee to his house. I have also given him part of my office where he meets congregants. I partitioned my office for him , then we go to the supermarket for shopping, anachukua trolley yake mimi ninachukua yangu, then I pay the bill. I even used to buy him clothes from Dubai”
Dear Classic 105 fam, does this sound crazy cray cray?! What’s the craziest story you have heard of women doing for their pastors, and did it make sense?
Here are answers from mostly men to give an insight as to why men chose these types of women:
Opposites attract I’m guessing
Ying and yang
They want fiery women to ignite their flame. Most of the time they can’t handle it tho (I heard)
I can’t speak for everyone but personally my mom loud and fiery which makes me not want to be like her so i’m calm but at the same time I can appreciate her presence…
Life is balance plus it probably stimulates them. Get’s their blood flowing. Just like a lot of Meek and laid back women who deal with assertive edgy and gritty men. Opposites attract, but not always universal.
Opposites attract. I wouldn’t necessarily say that fiery loud women are a bad thing. Some women are just more expressive and more vocal. It’s the same way with shy or timid women who like loud, fiery men.
For the same reason loud, fiery women go for quiet laidback men.
It helps balance them out.
I think it’s like a balance & like they get to live through them
Fiery women are a turn-on initially, but they typically wear me out mentally and emotionally
Unless the relationship is primarily physical, their flame fades quickly before I’m looking for a way to return to my peace
sometimes.. we love the tension.. the contrast..
I’m too laidback for my own good sometimes. I need somebody that’s gonna make me cut up just a bit! Lol in a good way though
A woman shutting down is a pretty normal scenario in many marriages. Just look at couples in traffic not speaking to one another and seeming angry.
This was the topic of discussion on Classic 105 Tubonge Tuesday where Maina Kageni could not understand how couples go for a month without talking to one another.
Mwalimu his co host told him that ‘it’s kawaida’ to see a couple at home pass one another like strangers.
Here are reasons for it:
1. For women, it is a defense mechanism for not feeling loved when not heard by their husbands. For men, it is often defensiveness against feeling disrespected when he interprets what he hears as criticism and control.
2. It’s hard to make conversation if you feel like you talk about the same subjects all the time.
3. Anger that has nit been healed or resolved.
4. They have grown apart and developed separate interest
5. They stop being curious and stop asking questions. Heard the saying ‘wacha ikae ivo tuu? Yup, they are not interested.
6. Being so busy in our jobs, you don’t have time to talk, and all you want to do is sleep when you get home.
A woman explained to Maina Kageni what it’s like to have a husband and several boyfriends at the same time.
Yes she has a husband and an undisclosed number of side dishes and all because her husband cheated first.
The confession was made during a discussion about men who forgive their spouses for cheating. Maina said he would be very surprised to get a confession from a man who has forgiven his wife because gents are not known to do this.
“I want to hear from just one man who has ever forgiven his woman for infidelity, just one, not two or three. I want one man to tell me based on clear evidence not just rumors. Men have always told me that marriage is founded on forgiveness and they cannot imagine fathom their woman with another man, talk to me!”
And one woman decided to give her experience of being ‘forgiven’.
“I’ve been forgiven by my husband. He was told by somebody that I was cheating on him, and he confronted me and it happened when he also had a girlfriend so we were equal. He knows that I still have a boyfriend and he continues with his girlfriend. I have moved from one to another different boyfriend and he knows there are many, he only has one girlfriend for the last ten years, mimi naruka from one person to the other, we talk about it plus he has seen my text messages and there is nothing he can do about it, and i have asked him to first leave his girlfriend and they have two kids. So I won’t eave hm. I have invested alot together, we do business together so there is no way nitoke huko and I know there is no way he can leave that lady and even me there is no way I am leaving my boyfriends also, we stay like that”
A woman confessed on Classic 105 that revenge is a dish best served cold to unfaithful spouses.
This made part of the confessions several woman told Maina to defend their decision to also cheat.
The scorned woman whispered to Maina that it is a common practice among Nairobi women to revenge on cheating husbands.
She said that many husbands assume their wife is stupid when she finds out he is cheating and remains quiet. But she revealed that wives who keep quiet are silently planning a revenge mission that will destroy that man when he finds out. She declared that ‘it’s fair game’.
Here is her confession
“The revenge is being planned. Let me tell you Maina. Revenge is a dish best served cold na saa zile unaona mwanamke amenyamaza, you have fasted thinking and prayed over him but he doesn’t change. So that’s why people revenge and the only thing/reason the woman stays is because she has already revenged and she feels good and will never cry again, Kurevenge is doing the same thing, you know in marriage we are already seduced and since you are human you find another man you like. I revenged after praying and fasting for him but he never changed, so I also cheated with a stranger I found attractive.”
Another woman called in and confessed just as much.
“Let me tell you Maina there are different types of women; those who will forgive and forget and move on, na kuna wengine who will pack up and go, but the ones you should fear are the ones who stay silent and the plan. Those women usually plan the revenge that will be taken even satan will just sit down and take note, huyo mwenye ananyamaza ogopa those that pretend they are keeping quiet hata shetani will take note, ile mathambi utafanyiwa!!! they shoudl take care,”