Kate Actress was interviewed by Mc Jessy this past week. The popular actress spoke about many areas in her life. One of them was about the experiences she had had dating as a single mother.
She said that it was a tough time for her. She said that men acted like they were doing her a favour when they dated her. She said;
I was shown fire. I don’t know why some men feel like they are doing you a favour by dating you when you have a child. But what I learnt is how you put yourself out there is how they will treat you. Some were good but wengine walinionyesha moto.
Kate was lucky to get a man who loved her and her son. That man was Kenyan film heavyweight Phil Karanja who went on to marry her and get a son with her. Phil also treats her son as his own with Leon himself calling him father.
While she has had a fairy tale end, her experience is one that is rare and also a risk for any sane man to do-That of dating a single mother.
Kate’s experience is borne of solispism, focusing on her own experiences, wants and desires but what about the man dating this single mother? What about his needs, wants and desires? His dating a single mother is super risky.
Here’s why? Most women who were in Kate’s shoes (before her marriage) wanted a man who would not only become her husband but a “father” to a child he will never be biologically linked to.
Many honest (and still searching) single mothers will attest to the fact that while their kids were a personal blessing to them, they were a stumbling block for them in getting potential long-term relationships.
Most men of value who women like Kate would want to date/marry want to start a game at 0-0. These men want to enter any potential long-term relationship with a woman who has no kids.
Also, looking at it from the man’s point of view: What benefit does a man of value get from raising another man’s sperm (sorry for being so crude)? None if you look at the question logically.
He will never be related to the child, so why invest years in taking care of a child that will never be his. Also, would a woman like Kate (strong and independent) give up the reigns and allow the step-dad to discipline her child without her say-so? Most likely not.
Also, will the potential step-dad want to deal with drama from the baby daddy in the future? Most normal men would want to avoid that.
Also, all things being equal there are women in the market who would offer as much as Kate but without a child in tow. So why would a man of value come to an already started family (with it’s potential drawbacks) when he can start his own with an unencumbered woman?
The potential benefits of dating/marrying a single mother for a man of value are far outweighed by the mere fact that she has a child from a previous relationship. But what do I know…