Read Khaligraph’s savage response to fan who criticized his parenting skill

A Kenyan man was left licking his wounds after he criticized Khaligraph Jones over his parenting skills.

Jones welcomed his first child weeks ago with bae Georgina Muteti.

The fan was doing what he thought best, little did he know itakua ni mazishi.

Jones shared the video below with his daughter. His fans were quick to correct him on his cradling skills.

I did not rape her or sleep with her! DK Kwenye Beat speaks of scandal

One fan wrote,

Nutritionally this is unacceptable.

To which Khaligraph promptly responded

 

 

Khaligraph Jones
Khaligraph Jones

 

‘I don’t like being put in a box’ former Machachari actor Ian Nene

Below are more reactions to the post.

OG congratulations. Though chunga usimess eardrums za Mjunior juu ya excitement. She still can’t handle that pressure

Another fan adds

By the way, you have the best parenting skills ever you guys. Unajua mtoi ukimzoesha loud music at a very early age like this, hatakuwa na stress na sijui kulala ama kusumbua akiskia the slighest noise.

You are on the right track, uwachwe kabisaaaa

Another Instagram ‘parent’ added,

Lakini si unapigia mtoto kelele

From Khaligraph’s response it is obvious that peoples should learn to mind their own business.

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‘My 4-year-olds classmate asked her for s3x’ Cries shocked parent

Maina Kageni was left in shock after learning children as young as 12 are s#xually active and their dads are not bothered arguing hio ni shida ya mama yao.

According to Maina it is scary to learn that most people learn about s3xuality in Sunday school. One caller left many shocked after admitting that she once caught kids getting intimate.

I once came across two kids having s#x and when I asked them what they were doing they said they were doing what they see mum and dad do.

Another caller adds

Maina this things are happening.The other day my daughter aged four told me a boy in her class told her wafanye tabia mbaya.

The good thing I have had the talk with her and she knows no body can touch her except me.Talks about s3xuality should begin at a very early age.

Angry mother scolding a disobedient child
Angry mother scolding a disobedient child

These celebrities vacation with their current spouses and exes

Another caller adds

As parents we have a lot to teach our kids but parents nowadays are not stepping up to their responsibilities opting to leave it to other people.

The major problem is parenting.

70 % of the kids at Sunday school (Class 3 and 4) are sexually active because parents are too busy and they do not know who their kids hang out with.

Something needs to be done Maina.

‘She has cheated on me with 9 men, yet I keep forgiving her’ Cries city man

Another caller adds

As parents we have lost it in the name of being modern .What does a child as young as 6 year old need a phone for?

If its an emergency why not buy them a kabambe instead of a smart phone?My 9 year old has to ask for permission to watch TV.

In my house there is no TV from Monday to Friday ,they only watch on weekends and that is after they have done their homework.

What does it take to tell a kid no you can’t play with my phone pick a story book and read?So lets not blame the economy and everything else for how we are bringing up our kids.

 

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Parents share hilarious images of themselves before and after their children were born

Parenting is never easy and sometimes the wear and tear of changing diapers, sleepless nights and crying babies can take a physical toll, which is why Mike Julianelle, 42, of the blog Dad and Buried decided to start and Instagram account where parents can share pictures of before and after they became parents. 

And in the latest slew of photos submitted to the Instagram account, @gottoddlered, it would seem that kids still have the upper hand when it comes to destroying their parents. 

Mike told Bored Panda that he has two kids who he refers to as Detective Munch, seven, and The Hammer, two, and although he loves them dearly, he admitted that it can sometimes be a challenge raising two young ones.  

He said: ‘My blog aims to provide humor and a feeling of solidarity for parents who are dealing with the challenges of raising kids. It has always been about not taking this gig too seriously, and these photos are a great way to visually represent that. Everyone who submits is in on the joke, we all love our kids but there’s no denying the toll parenting takes! If you can’t laugh about it you’ll never survive!’ 

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Parents Open Up On Top 10 Things They Wish They Knew Before Having Children

You can read all the books you like before having your first baby, but within a few weeks, you’ll realise that the information within was just the tip of the parental iceberg.

Until you have a sleepless newborn, a six year old refusing to eat anything but pizza, or a teenager who needs more sleep than a hibernating hamster, you haven’t understood tiredness, frustration or extreme happiness and pride.

Here is our round-up of the top ten things every parent wishes they had known – in advance!

You may never have a night’s sleep again. Ever

Most babies refuse to sleep more than a few hours without issuing noisy demands. Toddlers also prefer being awake to being asleep, and after that stage is passed, children like to stay awake reading with a torch til way too late.

You aren’t the only person to influence your kids

Much as you nurture and love them, and show it every day, kids are individuals, and you cannot control their emotions or how others affect them.

You will never be alone again

Whether you’re trying to have a bath with a toddler peering over the edge, or waiting for your 15 year old to ask for a lift home from a party, they are always with you. In some ways this is glorious. In others….well, let’s just say that if you’re offered a spa break, take it.

They learn at their own speed

You cannot force children to walk, talk or – later – read and write. Everything happens at their own pace.

You have to remember impossible amounts of information

When you are in charge of one or more small people, you’re expected to remember all sorts of stuff, from doctor’s appointments to homework, vaccinations and their friends’ birthdays.  Add in chronic sleep deprivation, and it’s almost inevitable you will forget things, whether it’s the timings of events, to collect old shoe boxes for school projects, or even whole sentences.

They aren’t your new best friends

If you’re looking for company, join a book club. You can have fun with them, but you’re there to help them become decent adults and keep them on the straight and narrow.

Kids always need feeding

It’s not just the producing of three meals a day, it’s working out how many they need, and whether there’s a good mix of protein, carbohydrates, fat, and fruit and veg (and the odd treat!).

You’ll know the school holidays are over because you can go to the loo without flushing it first.

Children are chaotic and messy. If you leave a room looking tidy, the superpower of anyone aged from eight months to 18 years is the ability to trash it within five minutes.

Children can be – whisper it – a bit boring

You think that being in an office is tedious? None of your colleagues make you play Snakes and Ladders fifty times in a row.

-Dailymail

Disagreeing about babies’ bedtime creates tension between parents – and may even lead to divorce

Disagreeing about babies’ bedtimes creates tension between parents, which could lead to separation, new research suggests.

Mothers with strong opinions on how to tend to infants crying in the night can cause couples to question their parenting, a study found.

This may then lead to drifts in the relationship if they feel unsupported in their decision, the research adds.

Mothers generally have stronger beliefs about how to respond to nighttime crying than fathers, but both opinions lessen as the child ages, the study found.

Study author Jonathan Reader from Pennsylvania State University, said: ‘Because the mothers were the more active ones during the night, if they’re not feeling supported in their decisions, then it creates more of a drift in the co-parenting relationship.’

Disagreeing about babies' bedtimes creates tension between parents (stock)

MOTHERS WITH POSTNATAL DEPRESSION ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE DIFFICULT CHILDREN

Mothers with postnatal depression are more likely to have difficult children, research revealed last month.

Sufferers of the mental health condition who are insensitive towards their children are more likely to have youngsters with difficult temperaments, a study found.

Researchers believe mothers who respond to their children’s needs, even if they are battling depression, teach their youngsters how to regulate negative emotions.

Families with effective communication where everyone is involved in raising the children may also aid infant’s self-regulation, they found.

Lead author Dr Stephanie Parade from Brown University, said: ‘Maternal postpartum depression was only associated with persistently difficult infant temperament. This work underscores the importance of supporting families in the postpartum period.’

How the study was carried out 

The researchers asked 167 mothers and 155 fathers how they felt about attending to their baby in the middle of the night when the infant was one, three, six, nine and 12 months old.

For example, they were asked to what extent they agree with statements like: ‘My child will feel abandoned if I don’t respond immediately to his/her cries at night.’

They were also asked to respond to statements relating to co-parenting, such as: ‘My partner and I have the same goals for our child.’

‘Not feeling supported creates a drift’ 

Results reveal mothers who have strong opinions on how to tend to babies crying in the night can cause couples to question their parenting, which may create drifts in the relationship.

Mothers generally have stronger beliefs about how to respond to nighttime crying than fathers, but both opinions lessen as the child ages.

Mr Reader said: ‘During the study, we saw that in general mothers were much more active at night with the baby than the fathers were.

‘So perhaps because the mothers were the more active ones during the night, if they’re not feeling supported in their decisions, then it creates more of a drift in the co-parenting relationship.’

Mothers generally have stronger beliefs about how to respond to nighttime crying

‘Have these conversations early and upfront’ 

The researchers believe their findings highlight the importance of communication between parents.

Mr Reader said: ‘It’s important to have these conversations early and upfront, so when it’s 3 am and the baby’s crying, both parents are on the same page about how they’re going to respond. Constant communication is really important.

Study author Professor Douglas Teti adds the health and wellbeing of parents is just as important as that of children.

He said: ‘What we seem to be finding is that it’s not so much whether the babies are sleeping through the night, or how the parents decide to do bedtime, but more about how the parents are reacting and if they’re stressed.

‘That seems to be much more important than whether you co-sleep or don’t co-sleep, or whatever you choose to do. Whatever you decide, just make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

‘We want to learn more about how to put families in a position where they know that not every baby will be sleeping on their own by three months, and that’s okay.

‘Most kids learn how to go to sleep eventually. Parenting has a lot to do with it.

The findings were published in the Journal of Family Psychology.

Read more: dailymail

Smacking Naughty Toddlers May Turn Them Into Aggressive Teenagers, Study Reveals

Smacking naughty toddlers may cause them to become aggressive teenagers, new research suggests.

Toddlers who are severely punished are more likely to be aggressive at 10 to 11 years old, a study found.

Such children are also less likely to show positive behaviors, such as helping others, the research adds.

The researchers warn that how parents treat their children at a young age can have a long-lasting impact on youngsters’ behavior.

Steps-Toddler

They advise grown-ups encourage children to self-regulate their emotions from an early age.

How the study was carried out  

Researchers from the University of Missouri analyzed 960 European American and 880 African American mother-children pairs.

The children were investigated from 15 months to 10-to-11 years old.

Surveys of the mother-children pairs, home visits and teacher interviews were conducted.

Severe punishment causes later aggression  

Results reveal that African-American toddlers who are exposed to severe punishment are more likely to be aggressive in later childhood.

They are also less likely to show positive behaviors, such as helping others.

father-punish

No link was found between early punishment and later violence among European-American youngsters, however, exposure to parental irritability was associated with aggressive behaviors.

It is unclear why outcomes differed between distinct ethnic groups.

Yet, the findings also reveal that children who can self-regulate their emotions are less likely to show aggressive behavior regardless of their ethnicity.

The results were published in the journal Developmental Psychology.

‘Physical punishment can have long-lasting impacts’ 

Study author Professor Gustavo Carlo said: ‘Our findings show how parents treat their children at a young age, particularly African-American children significantly impacts their behavior.

‘It is very important that parents refrain from physical punishment as it can have long-lasting impacts.

‘If we want to nurture positive behaviors, all parents should teach a child how to regulate their behaviors early.’

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Daily Mail

 

Parents! Here Are 5 Constructive Ways Of Keeping Your Children Busy

Schools are just about to close for the April holidays. Many parents are probably conflicted about having to leave children home all day alone.

Well as the saying goes, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop” here are a few fun ways to keep your children busy.

Encourage your children to join youth clubs

This is will help keep them engaged and will enable them to learn fun things with their peers. It can be a church group, a choir, a home-economics class where they can learn various activities such as cooking, sewing, candle making among others. This way their holiday will be constructive and you will not have to worry about a thing as it will be fun for the children.
Enroll them into holiday tutoring programs
You can call a tutor home to mentor your child in the areas that he or she performs weakest in while in school.

 

Assign different chores to your children
Yes, I know most of us just want to spoil our children rotten or simply treat them like royalty so that they don’t have to lift a finger. However teaching your children how to do chores is paramount in helping them become useful independent people in future. You most certainly do not want them to grow up without knowing how to wash their own under garments, do their own dishes, clean the places they eat and sleep. The list is endless but you would rather teach the young ones now how to take care of themselves and their households.
Develop or build their talents
For those whose children excel in extra curricular activities, holidays are a perfect time to get them to practice more on their talents. Take them to soccer and swimming lessons, music and dance classes or even to art galleries. It does not matter how old they are since they will meet lots of other gifted kids who are the same age whom they can interact with. This may in turn give them inspiration and help them blossom into the young starts that they are meant to be.
Take them to camp
If your child is an outdoor person, take them to camp as it may be fun and exciting for the child to be outdoors in mother nature together with other kids. There are lots of activities that your child can engage in that will teach him or her survival skills.
So now your children will still have fun and learn something creative and constructive during the holidays. Remember all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

 

Former TV Actress Posts Scary And Bloody Video Of The Birth Of Her Twins

Child birth is a beautiful thing.

But it is also bloody.

A former TV actress and now singer has posted a raw and uncut video of her cesarean birth to her twin angels. You know the actress as her TV character called Waridi. Her real name is Barbara Chepkoech Adams.

The video of her child birth was shot in the States where she gave life to her little tots. Barbara is now back to Kenya and she is hoping to launch her music career to the Kenyan audience.

Barbara explains why she posted the video is a long heartwarming post.

This recording of life is close to my heart……It has been close to 3 months…… I fell in love so in love I cannot explain. The beautiful journey of welcoming Blossom and Blade to this world…… I was scared…..scared that I was not prepared because they came early. But I overcame that quickly. Amazing people have been with me through my journey and after. I gained 70 pounds….barely slept….ate alot…hahaha.The beautiful feeling of motherhood is the joy of knowing you carried life inside you and you being a vessel God uses to bring forth beautiful angels to this earth. I am humbled to have babies that are my heart. As God is my witness the journey was awesome and amazing. I was super fluffy and loved it. I love babies and I believe we as humans should always respect and defend them always. They are my valentine….. Barjoh, Blossom and Blade. Being a single mother is not bad at all…. I embrace it. I salute mothers … I believe a mother can be by birth or adoption. Caring and embracing a child, nurturing the child with love is what makes you a mother…. Not necessarily by only birth. It brings me to tears when i imagine women in the village. Having to go through childbirth without help and sometimes they loose their lives. I salute you. May God protect you and all mothers. For my children😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😘😘😘 I will and have defended, protected loved cared held given my babies everything i am. I give them me everyday without question. I love them more and more each day. Watching this beautiful experience i realize how id do it over and over again just to be with my babies. I wouldn’t think twice. So yes i am in love with 3 amazing babies….That said, I salute all parents mummies and daddies…. Married or single…… Let’s love and raise our children in the fear of God. To be amazing in our society. To be everything we pray they will be. Remember to pray for one another. Happy valentines forever righBarjoh Soi! my daughter Barjoh Soi thank you for being my superhero….as young as you are you reassured me all will be well……
thanks to my family and friends thanks Daddy..i lovTiffany BrentasClementine Inene BrDanielle Andersonnene , Danielle Anderson you were so awesome still are!!!!!! thEmmanuel Hollinscredit: Emmanuel Hollins LEGROOM PRODUCTIONS.
i must say you were awesome…… at some point i thought you would run…lol

#LETLOVELIVE.😍😍😍😍😍”

WARNING! IF YOU HAVE A STRONG STOMACH YOU CAN WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW.

Dear Parents, Here Are 7 Things To Do If You Want To Raise Good Kids

Every parent wants to raise a good kid, but your little ones can’t do it alone; they need help and guidance from the adults in their lives.

According to human development researchers at Harvard, there are some guidelines supported by research studies that parents can look to for help raising a caring child, as well as seven tips to help put it all into action:

1. Spend time with your kids regularly and engage in meaningful conversation.
By spending time with kids regularly, they will learn to be caring and loving by example — show affection, take a genuine interest in their life, encourage their efforts and praise their accomplishments, ask open-ended questions to foster meaningful conversation, support them endlessly.

black-family

2. Be a solid role model and a strong mentor.
Children will respect what you tell them to do when they see you doing the same, so pay close attention to the way you practice the values you’re urging your children to follow — honesty, humility, contributing to the community — as they will pick up on the way you act. Tell them when you make a mistake and talk them through the way you’ll fix it.

3. Send clear messages and prioritize being kind.
Caring for others is often encouraged as a top priority, so treat it that way by holding your children to high ethical expectations not only in your own home but at school.
Ask their teachers if they are caring during the school day, tell your kids that it’s important that they are kind to others.

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4. Provide opportunities to be caring by giving responsibilities.
When children are expected to do chores around the house, helping others will more likely become a natural opportunity for them to be caring in their daily routine.
Express gratitude and appreciation to them and motivate them to make giving thanks to others a part of their everyday practice.

5. Help children to “zoom out” to understand the range of hardships.
Children typically care about a smaller group of family and friends, but to expand their circle, try to talk about other communities and the different challenges people face.

Discuss issues and provide them with ideas of ways they could help fix some of the problems they see in their own community. Encourage them to listen to others, especially those who may be different than them.

wpid-a-zimbabwean-family-plays-card-21-january-in-harare-after-a-power-cut.jpg

6. Provide opportunities for kids to take action, join causes, and do for others.
When your child is faced with an issue, help them take action and talk it out, and encourage them to work with others to solve problems. Try to translate their interests into a cause they could join and give them opportunities to talk about ethical dilemmas that come up both in real life and in the media.

7. Help children to identify feelings and resolve conflicts with self-control.
Encourage your children to identify their feelings and then provide them with the tools to manage them with control — deep breaths, counting until they are calm — and help them to resolve conflicts by also understanding the feelings that others are experiencing.

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Pop Sugar

You Should Avoid Giving Your Children This…

Being a parent isn’t the easiest job in the world, in fact it’s probably the hardest and it comes with no salary, but we are not complaining. That being said, children are raised by their respective parents in different ways depending on their culture and social standing, and their needs vary. However, that should not be a reason why a child lacks manners because parents give in to their every whim.

As a parent there are things you should stop saying yes to, for the sake of your child. Here are a few:

Depending on staff for helpWe all need help to get us through the daily grind, but having staff attend to your child’s every beck and call is uncalled for. You are never going to raise an adult if your child depends on the staff for every small thing. Getting up and doing their own work is the first step towards being responsible. Next comes doing small odd jobs around house and taking care of the younger sibling. Even if you have the comfort of a staff, make kids used to taking care of their routine work. Try to limit staff strength and have them overlook and supervise the kids as they get ready to do things themselves. Believe us, it helps build confidence and is good for them in the long run.

Unlimited access to smart gadgets We stay in a tech-savvy world and it’s no wonder that kids demand smart gadgets, which we eagerly provide, too. But not many realise that gadgets need to be age-appropriate and the dependence on the same needs to be limited. Ever wonder why your kid is bad at math? It’s probably also because of him/her using the calculator to solve problems instead of using mental math. Unfiltered internet comes with its own disadvantages if the kids have unsupervised time on it. They might end up lacking real social skills, not to mention the dangers of getting exposed to strangers online.

Ready made school projectsAs a parent, you may want your children to have proper school projects and records so that they get the best of grades, but to achieve the same, it is not right to employ someone else to do it for them. These ready made school projects might help your child get straight As temporarily, but they are not going to come to aid when he/she himself has to attempt those in the future. This does not mean you leave them to do their own thing. Sit with them when they get the project, help them collect and assemble things together. Allow them to make an attempt and guide them where necessary. It might not turn out to be the perfect project, but they will surely feel proud of it if they have done it themselves.

Junk meals all the time – Fun, junk meals are much loved by kids, and sometimes, even the parents find it convenient. But taking them out for fast food treats or making pizza, pasta or noodle at home needs to be restricted. Because the health hazards it poses is not worth it! Plan meals in advance and make your kids develop a liking for regular homemade food. You might encounter resistance initially but just be stern with the rules of eating what is made at home. They might cry, whine and go to sleep hungry a couple of times but be tough and take a stand. Cut down the happy meal treats from once a week to once a fortnight, and then, once a month. You will see a healthy difference in your kids — it will make them more active and alert.

-TNN

Tips On How To Get Your Child To Listen

It can get frustrating as a parent to have to yell all the time to a child who cannot listen to you. In fact in some instances it can cause you an embarrassment especially when in public. Here are four no-nonsense ways to get your kids to listen.

1. Parent with consistency – Posting house rules in an obvious place, like the fridge, is only part of the job. You have to actually enforce the rules … consistently.  You don’t have to make the rules complicated. Even better, invite your kids to contribute to the list.  You can even make your rule list fun. For teens, the chart can even look like a workplace performance review — with a vision, mission and goals.

Just ensure that you consistently track the rules and resulting rewards. What works and what doesn’t? Change the list together according to your findings.Give your kids general directions and guidance to succeed, but don’t micro-manage. Do away with the speeches and the judgment. Kids respond to simple statements and consistent rewards and consequences. Remember to reward or praise them for their efforts.

2. Show your kids a little compassion – Kids make mistakes. Kids make poor choices as part of the process of learning to make better choices. Treat your children like human beings. Just because they handled their emotions poorly doesn’t mean their emotions weren’t valid.  

Avoid judgment. Find out both sides of the issue and acknowledge both children’s feelings. Reinforce the idea that lashing out is an acceptable response. This never, ever leads to peaceful resolution. Leading with peace breeds peace.

3. Coach your kids through the process – According to parenting coach Elaine Taylor-Klaus, “The coach approach helps parents learn to champion their kids in a positive, empowering way. The focus is primarily on learning and improvement, rather than correction and re-direction.” 

Practice active listening and stay in the moment with your child. Stop your chores and put your phone down for five minutes each day to find out how your children are doing. You may even repeat what they say to ensure you understand, then help your kids find their own solutions by asking questions instead of lecturing. Let them try a few solutions to figure out what actually works. Coach them through figuring out how to solve problems themselves versus just blindly “doing as their told.”When the solution feels like their own idea, they’re more likely to stick with it. 

4. Keep your cool – Try to remain neutral, like a curious scientist. Of course it feels frustrating when your kids don’t listen. But contain your anger and upset by keeping things in perspective. They’re learning. Following through on new behaviors takes practice. 

And if you do lose it in a restaurant when your son shouts “Bad Mommy!” at the top of his lungs because you won’t get him chicken nuggets for the third time in a week, be kind to yourself. 

Reasons Why Children Lie

As a parent one always endeavours to make sure they bring up their child in the right way so that they may be well groomed. No parent wants to have a brat or a liar but sometimes it happens. It may not be your fault as children lie for various reasons, that doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Here are three reasons why your child lies to you:

1. They see lying as an easy (and safe) option for solving problems – Before their brain is fully developed, our kids don’t have a clear grasp of cause and effect the way (most) adults do. In the moment, the benefit of being dishonest outweighs the risk of being discovered, mostly because they don’t think the risk through completely.

2. They’re trying to save face – No one likes to admit they’re wrong (not even kids). In fact, many adults have a hard time being honest when things don’t go as planned. Why would it be any easier for our children? This is particularly true for kids who have a tendency to make mistakes more than average.

3. They remember “the truth” differently – Everything in life is about perception. Have you ever walked away from a conversation and had a completely different recollection of it than someone else? Sometimes we genuinely think we did something, because we planned to do it, or we do it so often that it becomes routine. This is especially true for younger kids and/or kids with less developed working memory.

Here’s how do you address your child’s blatant lying (even if there are real reasons for it)? 

Be a good role model. Our kids hear and see much more of what we do than we’re aware of. Truth be told, we all have our own range of honesty. Few of us are completely honest (sometimes for the same reasons as above)

Reward honesty. When your kids tell the truth, thank them, even if it’s about something they screwed up! Sometimes you might even forgive a mistake if your child owns up.  If you tell the truth now, I’ll let you off with a warning instead of a consequence. You may or may not want to make this a habit, depends on your child and the situation. 

Show compassion. ​Being honest isn’t always easy, and there are some (almost) legitimate reasons that our kids don’t come forth with the truth. A friend of mine says, “All kids lie. It’s normal!”. If that’s true, then good parenting requires us to help them learn honesty, rather than punishing them for not doing something that’s pretty hard for adults to even do in the first place.

-Yourtango

 

Here’s How To Make Parenting Easy

Parenting isn’t the easiest job on earth, its fun a the same time overwhelming for many couples. They find it tiring especially considering the fact that there is work, school, business and other things to do too. It does get easier when the children get older.
Here are afew tips of how to make it easier:

Meditation – There are several kinds of meditations. Search online and choose the one you like. Everyone thinks you are doing something super serious.It’s a guilty pleasure, kind of like bunking class.

Podcast – Unlike meditation, podcasts can be recommend to everyone -if you have an excruciating commute, you are bored while you feed the baby, feel brain dead while you cook and clean etc. According to the internet, there are 1,15,000 English-language podcasts available online. You are bound to find one that interests you. It’s ideal for those who multitask and if parenting isn’t multitasking, we don’t know what is.

Stop caring -If there’s one decision you want to take to turn your life around, let it be this -don’t care a hoot about what anyone says or thinks about you. Not worrying about what other parents think about your parenting style, what the books say you should do, what in-laws, neighbours, even teachers say , will set you free. Then, it will be just you and the kid and that abundant resource called common sense.You’ll make mistakes, learn from them and grow -and by you, we mean you and the kid. It definitely beats trying to create impossible walls to climb only to find out that the wall you built stands between you and the kid.

Get off social media – The whole `My life as lived on social media’ thing, will really get to you. Between all your social media accounts, you see a constant parade of perfect families. They go on gorgeous vacations 12 times a year.You might still not be evolved enough to break all ties from social media, but you should learn to scroll quickly past the chronic gloaters, and feel empowered when you `hide’ them from the timeline. Try it. You’ll love the peace that follows.

Call in sick – In school, college and at work, at some point or another, we’ve all faked a cough on the phone and called in sick. Why not do that as a parent? If popularised, this could be a thing. One could announce to the world that one is sick and then just retire. Lie in bed all day , listen to music, read a book and at regular intervals, let out a groan. A day or two of this and you’ll come out feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.Spa days and retreats are for losers, this stuff is virtually effortless and free!

-TOI

Tips For Everyday Parenting Battles

It’s no secret that parenting battles can often end in tears, tempers and tantrums (both theirs AND yours!), even before and after the inevitable ‘terrible-twos’ phase. The good news is that you’re not alone, and these are familiar experiences for most parents.

The even better news is that they will eventually grow out of it, but for those ready to wave the white flag, here are top tips for managing three of the most testing everyday parenting challenges:

1) Fussy Eating
Fussy eating is a surprisingly common phase of children’s development that tends to begin around the time that children realise their ability to exercise independence. The most important thing to remember is that it’s usually just a phase, but in the meantime, here’s my advice on how to help make mealtimes that little bit easier:
Children are more likely to respond positively to food they know is good for them. Make sure their portion sizes are appropriate, and remember they learn from your reactions!
– Get kids involved in preparation, and make food look interesting. This can really help your child engage with their food and give them a sense of achievement.
– Be patient – it can take up to 20 attempts before a new food is accepted! Stay calm and give them food that you think is appropriate – not just what they want.

Whilst you’re in the thick of it, fussy eating can seem quite worrying. Although it’s unlikely to cause significant nutritional problems, there is no harm in supplementing your child’s nutritional intake whilst you try to get them back to healthy eating habits.
Note: If you are concerned about your child’s eating behaviour speak to your GP for help and advice.

2) Sleeping
No matter how tired your child is, it can still be a struggle getting your little one to go bed! All parents have the same complaints: ‘won’t go to bed’, ‘can’t fall asleep’ and ‘keeps waking up at night’. For a peaceful night’s rest, try these simple steps:
– Make sure your kid is active during the day – this will make them feel more tired at bedtime
– Have a regular bed routine every night starting about 30 minutes before they go to bed.
– A warm bath before bed will help them feel sleepy.
– Bedtime stories are really important especially when children are scared to go to bed.
– Try to maintain a consistent sleep time at night and wake time every morning, to help get their bodies used to a regular sleep/wake cycle.

3) Potty Training & Toilet Habits
Mastering the art of potty training and forming good toilet habits with your child is a challenge that parents are often nervous to tackle. Along with remaining persistent encouraging your child, here is some advice to bear in mind:
Remember that ‘normal’ is different for everyone, but what’s really important is that going to the toilet isn’t difficult or painful. Making sure your child’s diet contains lots of fruit and fibre and a good fluid intake will help with regularity.
Parents often worry that their child might not voice their concerns when they aren’t there. Accidents can be embarrassing for children and new environments can increase anxiety, so let them know it’s OK to speak up whether that’s at home, at a friend’s or at school.
Try to put a consistent toilet routine in place for your child and remember to praise them every time, even if they don’t ‘perform’. Simple things like putting them on the toilet after breakfast will help them get into a habit.
Constipation can be common when children reach pre-school age. If you think your child is struggling and you feel you need extra help, don’t be scared to ask a healthcare professional if there is anything else you can try to make it easier for them.

-This article was originally written by Dr. Ranj Singh, NHS Paediatric Doctor & TV Presenter

8 Benefits of being an active father

Being an active father in a child’s life is very important. While providing for your child is important, spending time with your children is also very crucial. Gone should be the days where men would either work all the time and during their free time they are enjoying beer with their friends all along ignoring an active role in the family because they are bringing home the bacon.

A father may choose to engage in activities such as joining a sport with his son or daughter, making routine lunch dates where he and the child just get to talk and share, volunteering or finding a hobby that he and the child can participate in.

According to research published in Fatherneed: Why Father Care Is As Essential As Mother Care for Your Child, one of the most critical stages a father plays in a child’s life is between the age 11/2 – 31/2 years old. Why is it prudent that a father plays an active role in his child’s upbringing?

1. Children with active fathers have less behavioral problems such as substance abuse, mood swings, emotional problems. Whether the father lives at home or he visits and is involved in the child’s life, he will have less problems as compared to a child with no active father.

2. According to Swedish researchers regular positive contact with a father reduces criminal behaviour especially among low-income families.

3. An active father also enhances cognitive skills such as intelligence, language development and reasoning.

4. According to Dr. Anna Sarkadi from the Department of Women’s and Children’s Health at Uppsala University, Sweden children who have positively involved fathers achieved better levels of education and develop good friendships with children of both sexes.

5. A child with an involved father has also been described as having a higher self esteem, self control, social competence and also empathy.

6. Children with involved fathers learn the importance of positive parenting first hand and will more often than not be there for their own families.

7. A child whose father is involved in his/her school activities is said to be at a lower risk of dropping out and will most often perform well.

8. An involved father also eases the burden of parenting from a mom. If it is a boy who is afraid to question his mum regarding changes going on in his body he can always run to the father instead of getting advice from his peers.

4 Brutal Truths You Need To Teach Your Son About Love

-Originally authored by Fiona Fine, Relationship Coach

As a baby, you cradled him when he cried. As a child, you picked him up when he fell off his bike. And now he’s a teenager. Now he needs you to give him advice he may not even know he needs.

Your son is at an age where girls have permanently entered the picture. So you want him to grow up making responsible decisions, treat women with respect, and if you can create a perfect future, bring the right girl home to raise his own family.

If you want your son to grow up to have healthy and loving relationships with women, you NEED to teach him these 4 things:

1. It’s OK To Express Emotion
When your son was little and skinned his knee when he fell down, how did you tell him to react? Was tough love involved? Did you tell him to “suck it up” or “get over it” when he wanted to cry? That’s the beginning of his aversion to connecting with his emotions.

If you raise your son to know it’s OK to express his feelings and connect with them, it creates a significant amount of maturity as he gets older. When he starts to form relationships with women, he can treat her feelings with the same amount of respect.

He will become comfortable accessing his feelings and he will learn to talk about them openly — a characteristic all women want from the men in their lives.

2. Women Want A GOOD Guy
The common belief among teenage boys and young men is that many girls want “bad boys”. What they don’t realize is that it’s a phase among girls. In the end, strong balanced women (the type you probably hope he will get into relationship with) don’t want to build a life with a “bad boy.”

Raise him into the man who really listens, the guy who treats a woman with respect and love. By giving him this insight he’ll grow up knowing all the basics of how to do his part in an adult-type relationship. A relationship that will serve both him and his loved ones.

3. Only Say What You Mean
Teenage boys today are all about instant gratification (OK — most of us all still are which is a bad habit!). They get it from their phones, their friends and yes, probably even you. He thinks the easiest way to get what he wants from a girl is by saying what she wants to hear. WRONG!

This is when you have to step up as a parent and teach your son how to build a reputation as an honest man — especially with girls. Having a truthful reputation holds more power than many other characteristics.

When he’s honest about what is going on for him without playing games, girls will feel they can trust him in their professional and personal lives. In all relationships, trust resides at their core.

4. NEVER Make Assumptions
When teenage boys are curious about a girl, they might be more willing to ask everyone else but her. They find no problem in dating a girl based on a herd mentality and that’s a major problem.

I’m also sure you’ve heard the saying “boys will be boys”. You’ve probably used it a few times to excuse bad behavior on his part. The sad part about “boys will be boys” is that they, eventually, become men.

It’s your duty as his parent to inform your son that he should never make assumptions about a girl or just do what his buddies are doing. Teach him to take the time to get to know her and ask her what he wants to know. Not only will she respect him more, but he’ll also grow up understanding how to communicate with women better.

If he can work on his communication skills at an early age it will only benefit him all of his life and in all areas of his life because communication plays a pivotal role in all relationships.

Before you know it, your son will be a man and the life lessons that you instill within him as a teenager will have an effect on the life he live as an adult. It’s up to you to raise him into a man who creates that future relationship with himself and his loved ones.

How your parenting styles are affecting your family

Can defining your parenting style make you better at it? Fifty years ago or more, “parenting styles” were hardly a topic of conversation, let alone all of the articles and books written on the subject. It was simply expected that you raise your children the same way your parents raised you, and the way their parents raised them.

Not a lot of thought was given to “What kind of parent do I want to be? What parenting style fits our lifestyle and family?” But as our society has become more psychologically and socially aware, we are more conscious of how particular methods may affect children. Additionally, our cultural conversation now frequently turns to parenting styles and how they affect the big picture.

There are many different parenting styles. You’ll likely find that you are a blend of a couple of them. Some parents are strict and rigid, others very lenient and laissez-faire and some fall somewhere in the middle. It’s important not to go to the extreme in one direction or the other. That creates an out-of-balance situation within the family.

And remember as you explore different parenting styles: it’s important that you find the style that works best not just for you, but for your family as well.

4 Types Of Parenting Styles

1. Strict Parenting
Often referred to as an “authoritarian” or “dictator” style, strict parenting is characterized by many hard-and-fast rules. The parent is clearly the head of household and tends to command respect in all circumstances. There are clear limits and consequences for pushing them, which are enforced firmly.

One of the beneficial things about this parenting style is that everyone has a clear role and understands the limits, leaving little in question. The negative thing about this parenting style is that the parent may function as a brick wall, with little room for change or growth for family members.

This parenting style runs the risk of alienating the child later in life, either through the residual anger or resentment, a strong-willed personality or a more sensitive child whose needs are not recognized.

2. Lenient Parenting
This is sometimes referred to as “permissive parenting”. These parents don’t expect or demand a lot from their children, and tend to provide little in the way of discipline. The rules are very flexible and tend to not be well-defined. These parents often say they want their children to grow up to “make their own decisions, rather than be told what to do.”

The positive thing about this parenting style is that the wants of the children are usually made known, and a lot of attention is paid to their psychological well-being. The negative side to this parenting style is that the child may have little self-discipline and poor motivation, and the parent does not provide enough guidance and structure.

A family that is too lenient may become uninvolved or neglectful.

3. Helicopter Parenting
These parents hover over their children, anxious and concerned. They have difficulty letting their child grow up or assume increasing responsibility. These parents obsess over every issue their child may have and must be right in the middle or close by every activity their child is involved in. The parents may overindulge their child with attention and material things.

These parents often want to continue to help their child with decisions even after the child has become an adult, say, by choosing their college courses for them or going on a job interview with them (yes, this actually happens!).

4. Secure Parenting
Then there is the middle ground parenting style, which is often called “authoritative” (as opposed to authoritarian) parenting. I like to call it the “secure parenting” style.

This method provides structure, expectations and rules, but also maintains flexibility and respect for the child as an individual. The parent provides guidance, rather than demands. Discipline tends to be more growth and learning focused, rather than punitive. The rules are clear but simple and few. Consequences for breaking rules are consistent with the misdeed.

The child’s needs and wants are balanced with the needs of the family. The child’s personal space is respected, yet he is reminded that he is also part of the family and must sometimes participate as a whole. From a young age, he is allowed to make simple choices and decisions, and then given increased responsibility as well as more privileges. The aim is for the child to be relatively self-sufficient by the time he graduates high school, or at least able to make sound decisions on his own.

The secure parenting style is the most effective. It requires mature, stable adults to be raising the child. A good parent is empathetic and patient, as well as consistent and dependable. A good parent wants to raise a child to become independent, responsible and thoughtful.

This may require that you examine your own childhood and the methods and styles your parents used. What did they do well? What would you change about their parenting style? Is there anything they really “messed up” on? If there is some trauma in your past or difficulty in your family of origin relationships, seek out psychotherapy to help work through these issues, so they will be less likely to negatively affect your own parenting.

If you are planning to have children in the near future, or are a new parent, discuss these parenting styles with your partner. It is important that the two of you understand the areas of parenting where you disagree and come to some type of consensus or compromise. Defining yourself as a parent is a crucial step in raising a child.

How you raise your child should not be an afterthought; it is one of the most important things you will ever do. Defining and refining your parenting style will be time and energy spent that will pay off in the long run and in the life of your child.

-yourtango.com

Birth rate in Central Kenya continues to drop

Central Kenya’s population is under a major threat as the region’s birth rate has fallen alarmingly, according to Ministry of Health statistics released on Wednesday.

But even as the long-term prospect of heavy population dwindles in Kirinyaga, Nyeri, Kiambu and Nairobi, the counties in the arid and semi-arid regions are enjoying a new boom, with baby numbers on the rise.

Mt Kenya region and Nairobi see falling birth rates, whereas the Northeastern and Western regions are top with highest birth rates, the 2014 Kenya Demographic and Health Survey (KDHS) reveals.

Similarly, the report shows that Kenyan families are getting healthier. The survey shows improvements, in the last 5 years, in maternal and child health, family planning use, and uptake of testing for HIV.

On births, the latest findings show that Nairobi has a total fertility rate of 2.7, Central has 2.8, while Northeastern has 6.4 and Western 4.7.

On the regions with high fertility rates, Rift Valley comes third, with 4.5, followed by Nyanza at 4.3, then Coastal fifth at 4.3, whereas Eastern is at position six with 3.4.

The counties with the lowest total fertility rate (TFR) are Kirinyaga (2.3) followed by Nyeri, Kiambu and Nairobi, all with a TFR of 2.7.

Wajir county has the highest TFR at 7.8, followed by West Pokot at 7.2, Turkana at 6.9 and Samburu at 6.3, all of them arid and semi-arid parts of northern Kenya.

This means that fertility is lowest among counties in Central and Nairobi regions and highest—more than six births per woman—in the counties in the arid and semi-arid areas of Northern Kenya.

However, on average, the number of births for Kenyan women (Total Fertility Rate) has declined from 4.6 in 2008-2009 to 3.9 in? 2014, the lowest so far, meaning the average Kenyan woman can expect to have four children in her lifetime, instead of five.

The national decrease therefore means that, on average, a Kenyan woman who is at the beginning of her childbearing age will give birth to about four children by the end of her reproductive period.

The fertility rate among women in the rural areas is 4.5 higher than the rate in urban areas, with 3.1 births per woman. The results also show that fertility rate by age is higher in the rural areas across all age groups. The rate among women in the 20-24 age bracket stands at 248 births per 1,000 women, compared with an urban rate of 164 births per 1,000.

Despite these differences, the rural-urban fertility differences are narrowing, compared to previous surveys, the report shows.

“Kenyan women living in rural areas bear more children than those living in urban areas. Women in lower socio-economic strata bear more children than their wealthier counterparts; women from households in the lowest wealth quintile have a total fertility rate that is more than twice than women from highest quintile. Similarly women with no education have a TFR more than twice that with a secondary or higher level education,” the report explains.

The report also shows that more women are using modern contraceptives to space births and plan their families.? “Nationwide, 53% of currently married women are using modern contraceptive methods, up from 39% in 2008-2009. Injectables continue to be the most commonly used contraceptive method. Use of long-acting implants has increased from only 2% in 2008-2009 to 10% in 2014. The increase in contraceptive use is matched with declines in fertility,” Health Cabinet Secretary James Macharia said.

-The Star