‘My Husband Had Ended The Affair, And She Decided To Tell Me Every Detail, To Get Revenge On Him’ – A Betrayed Wife’s Letter To The Other Woman

A woman who discovered her husband had been cheating when his mistress emailed her at work has penned a powerful letter to the other woman.

Writer and life coach Carlie Maree, from the Yarra Valley, wrote in raw detail on the devastating consequences her husband’s secret affair had on their family.

’22 May 2015 is a date I will never, ever forget,’ Ms Maree, 31, told Daily Mail Australia.

‘We started dating in 2005 and were married in 2011. Our daughter was born in 2013 and I found out about my husband’s affair when she was nearly two years old,’ she said.

And just over a year later, she penned a letter on Mamamia to the woman who helped to end her marriage:

‘A year ago today you hit send on an email that had a monumental effect on several people’s lives. Mine, my husband’s, my daughter’s, both our parents and families, our friends.

Raw: Exactly a year after having received the email in which she found out, Ms Maree penned a powerful letter to her husband's mistress - she laid bare her feelings towards the woman
Carlie Maree – found out about husband’s cheating via email

‘The level of detail that you went into, felt like it had been curated to inflict pain. You knew what a wife would need to hear to get her to the point of no return in her marriage and you delivered it, blow by blow.

‘Sometimes I wonder how much of it was him trying to find what he had lost in me. I was once a cute blonde in a short skirt behind the bar at his favourite pub.

‘Ten years later I was the mum in the yoga pants with the silver regrowth and bags under her eyes from being up all night with a sick baby. He was supposed to love that version of me too.’

At the time she found out, Ms Maree was predominantly a stay-at-home mum. While she was studying to be a life coach, Ms Maree also filled her days by blogging, running a CV-writing business and spending one day a week in an office.

cheating on phone
Man cheating on phone

‘My husband was away a lot for work,’ she said. But generally, he always came home at the weekends.’

‘I remember feeling awful for him missing out on our daughter… It had been hard for us to adjust to parenthood. We didn’t expect to fall pregnant so quickly, and I had hoped that my husband might be around more,’ Ms Maree said.

‘I knew he was being distant, and I felt that when he came home from being away he was often really cranky and tired. I wanted to feel connected with him, so I suggested counselling.

No blame: However, Ms Maree says that she did not hate the woman - she was just a woman who fell in love with the wrong man; she wrote the letter instead for personal reasons 

‘He agreed, and in a few months, we were really starting to get back on track. Then, I found out about the affair.’

Ms Maree found out on one of the days of the week she spent in an office when she received an email entitled ‘Your Husband’.

‘My husband had ended the affair, and this woman he had been seeing for over a year had decided to tell me every sordid detail, in order to get revenge on him for that. She knew about me from day one, and had hoped that he would one day leave his family for her.’ Ms Maree said.

After speaking to her husband, speaking to their counsellor and trying to move back in with her husband, Ms Maree knew she had to accept it wasn’t going to work.

Heartbreak: Ms Maree found out her husband was having an affair when she was a stay-at-home mum, but also working in an office one day a week - his mistress sent her an email entitled 'Your husband'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily Mail

The Mistress, The Jump-Off Or The Wife: Which One Are You?

It is my hope that this article generates alot of comments.

A lot of times, when this almost inevitable event occurs in a woman’s life, we tend to personalize the indiscretion, when in fact it has nothing to do with us. Men cheat for a variety of reasons and most of the time it’s simply because they want to sample something new and there is always a woman willing to participate, knowingly or unknowingly.

These women fall into the category of either ‘mistress’ or ‘jump-off.’ The two play similar roles, however the mistress is most often compensated in some way. While the jump-off, for the lack of a better phrase, is simply a semen receptacle in the mind of a married man.

The role of a mistress is an interesting one. The mistress often plays the role of the therapist, among other things. Many husbands use her to vent about their marital problems, listen to the mundane occurrences that happened throughout the course of their day, or share dreams that their wives do not support. The rendezvous between the mistress and husband usually occur on a scheduled basis. Many mistresses make do with the precarious arrangement of being a part-time lover because their bills are being paid, and they only have to devote a small portion of their time, while the wife deals with the everyday nuisances that come along with marriage.  It is not always the case that the mistress is the insecure woman, who wants to wreck a home. In fact, the mistress has a vested interest in the wife not finding out, lest her flow of money or other forms of compensation be cut off. Being a part time lover to some women who play this role pays because they are crafty enough to compartmentalize their emotions.

The narcissistic and frugal among married men who stray run a huge risk of being caught by not giving some form of recompense.  Exhibit A: Tiger Woods. Some married men who engage in extra-marital affairs naively trust the ‘other woman’ with precious secrets, and would even go so far as to letting the other woman into the marital bed, which is the ultimate form of disrespect. Their narcissm would not even allow them to consider that, if they end things or miss a payment, this woman has the ability to throw a huge monkey wrench into the delicate fabric of their family life, and in fact probably has been collecting and cataloguing data involving their indiscretions.

The other kind of woman that married men cheat with are ‘jump-offs.’ Jump-offs are women who won’t admit, or are naively in the dark about their function in a man’s life. These are the women who have never been to who they think is their man’s place of residence. And he only calls at certain times, usually in the wee hours of the night or early morning. They don’t know any of his friends or family, and when they do actually have sex it’s in a car, a hotel, or at their own home. Most likely in these instances he utilizes the choice that cost the least. Jump off’s don’t get quality time outside of getting their backs banged out. No quiet dinners in chic restaurants, no shopping trips, no anniversary getaways. Nada. This is the woman that my grandmother says one should be least concerned about, quipping, “Honey if she wants to lay on her back for free that’s her business.”

Then there is the wife who is probably aware, even without empirical evidence, that her husband is cheating. Perhaps it’s a nudging, or what is called women’s intuition, but she knows. One girlfriend explained about her marital situation, “It is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man than with a poor man. They’re all going to fuck up, but at least if he’s rich, your apology gifts are a hell of a lot nicer!” Wealth aside, the almost inevitable reality of facing infidelity in your adult life comes with choices. For many, it is not a deal breaker all together. Many married couples come to an ‘understanding,’ as the old folks call it. I am sure you have heard the stories about your granddaddies or Uncles having kids who live across town, but somehow their marriage with their spouses managed to last 40 years.

No matter how bad we are, how successful in our careers, how banging our bodies may be, none among us have vaginas that are dipped in gold, neither do we nut diamonds. Halle Berry, Lisa Raye, Garcelle Beauvais experienced high profile incidents of their husbands cheating on them, hence being beautiful and famous, and highly sought after does not make one exempt. But if/when you find yourself in that unenviable situation, what side of the coin are you on. Are you the mistress, the jump-off, or the wife?

Clutchmagonline

 

Man Fakes Kidnapping To Cheat On His Wife And Mistress With A Third Woman

A married man faked his own kidnapping so he could be with another woman behind his mistress’s back.

Warren Green, 33, lied to his wife to travel to Edinburgh to see girlfriend Chelsea Linn.

He was not really going to see Chelsea, but another woman and then got a friend to call Chelsea and tell her he had been kidnapped, the Daily Record reported .

Green, from London, claimed he had been bundled into a car by two men and then punched and kicked as he lay chained to a radiator in an Edinburgh city center flat.

A frantic Chelsea called in police and when Green arrived at her home in Oxgangs, Edinburgh, the following day, officers were waiting for him.

The love cheat carried on insisting he had been kidnapped when the officers questioned him.

But his story soon began to unravel and he eventually admitted he had made the story up so he could “sneak off to see another girl”.

At an earlier hearing, he had admitted falsely representing to police officers that he had been abducted, assaulted and held to ransom .

Sheriff Crowe ordered Green to carry out 120 hours of unpaid work in the community and also placed him on a 12-month supervision order.

How do you deal with your husband’s mistress?

A caller from the morning conversation with Maina and King’ang’i says she is a proud mistress who is not looking to get married. She says that her message to her man’s wife who confronted her about her ‘MWK’ status is, “don’t worry my dear, he is yours to die with you will have him when I don’t need him!”

Ladies, how do you deal with your husband’s mistress? Have you confronted her before and what did she have to say? One of the most obvious reactions mistresses have when confronted by the wife is they are very rude and will often say some very hurtful things.

What do you do as a wife to cement your role in the relationship? Do you sit and pray waiting for a miracle that one day your man will change? Do you confront your man and the mistress and to what end? Ladies, what how do you deal with his mistress?

Some interesting Facebook reactions on how to deal with a mistress

Poet Poet: Most people get married believing a myth, that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; companionship, intimacy, friendship. The truth is that marriage, at the start, is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage; love is in people, and people put it into marriage. There is no romance in marriage; people have to infuse it into their marriages. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising– keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty. -J. Allan Petersen

Zipporah Karanja:  A man who respects his woman will never allow any other woman to disrespect his wife even his own mother must respect his wife,so if you see a mistress talking back to your wife after been confronted,that mistress and your husband have been talking about you whenever they meet.

Kagz Kagz: Maina boundaries za kazi gani? Wacha afanye what he knows best kama ni kukuwa n.a. a thousand ladies sina problem bora the kids are taken care of. To me we are partnering in bringing up the kids.

Jamie Mburu: Women are their own worst enemy…as for me if I had to choose between my wife and a clande,I would chose the latter. Reason: if I really loved my wife, then I wouldn’t be having another woman in the first place.

Judy Mwangi: I believe that when two people love and respect each other there is no room for third party but Bcoz most men don’t love or respect their wives that is why thy allow this women to disrespect their wives.i think as mothers we should teach our girls to depend on themselves they should work very hard to have their own money Bcoz many women stay in this unhealthy marriages Bcoz they depend on their husbands for every thing . Men do this Bcoz they know you will never leave them Bcoz you don’t have a choice .my father used to tell me that men are animals .

Follow the discussion below

What is the end game for a mistress?

A lady called in on Maina and King’ang’i in the morning yesterday saying that her life as a mistress isn’t as rosy as many people portray it to be. The 40 year old said she had been dating her 65 year old man for the last 9 years but is now worried about what the future holds for her as her title still remains ‘MISTRESS.

He has bought you a car, a house, opened a business for you but you will never be his number one at the end of the day he still goes home to his wife. Doesn’t this bother mistresses? What does the future hold for a woman who is a mistress?

How have you secured your future if that man drops dead today? Are you in his will and is your future secure? One fan sent in a message saying, “Ask yourself this question, how many widows are there? So what’s wrong with being 51 and alone am never worried of a future alone, I am worried of the future being poor.”

If you are a mistress, how does it feel knowing that one day you will be old and alone and he will be gone with his wife, yet you invested all your life in such a relationship?

Listen to the interesting discussion below

 

What Happens When A Mistress Wants To Move On?

According to a pullout in today’s DN a woman is seeking advice on how to stop being a mistress. She says that she is tired of that life and wants out.

“I’m tired of being a mistress and I want to move on from this life. Help me”, she said.

Maina asked the listeners what their opinion was in regards to this matter.

He wanted to know what happens when one moves on after being a mistress. Does she become the wife? Does she go back to being single? Does she look for another man? What happens in cases where children are involved?

Many callers had different opinions and some shared their experiences. If you missed it then listen here:

Mistress pursues lovers wife on twitter

New York woman claims she was duped into a ‘money-for-sex’ confidentiality agreement by New York investor after ‘four-year affair’ and  therefore decided to Twitter taunt to his art curator wife.

In the social media age, it appears that Twitter hath no fury like an alleged mistress scorned. The self-proclaimed lover of a billionaire New York investor is not only suing the financier in court but she has confronted his wife on the popular micro-blogging site.

In an explosive lawsuit, the lady Katherine Nelson alleges that the man  Robert Rosenkranz, a fixture in Manhattan social and philanthropic circles, tricked her into signing a “money-for-sex” gagging deal after a four-year affair conducted in high-end hotels, restaurants and at charity events.

But Ms Nelson also apparently taunted his wife, Alexandra Munroe, 57, the senior Asian art curator at the Guggenheim Museum, on Twitter with a message that all users can read.

She tweeted an image of cream-coloured stationery bearing the printed words: “With compliments of Robert Rosenkranz” and the hand-written note: “For me, two is a remarkable number”. She sent the image to Ms Munroe with the message: “You must have known”.

Four days later, Ms Munroe responded with an empty tweet back to Ms Nelson, an indication that she had received the message.

That brief Twitter exchange played out as the alleged affair with Mr Rosenkranz was ending in acrimony, according to the timeline of a lawsuit filed at the Manhattan Supreme Court.

According to the documents, the relationship began after the two met in 2010 at a black-tie dinner.

The two later embarked on a “long-term intimate loving relationship”, the lawsuit claims, as Mr Rosenkranz stopped wearing his wedding ring and attended high-profile public events with Ms Nelson, even introducing her as his wife.

However, the relationship turned ugly in September when she confronted him in tears as he was “flirting” with another woman in a restaurant and the two argued in Central Park.

In the same month, Mr Rosenkranz obtained a temporary legal order of protection against Ns Nelson based on the document that, he had assured her, did not need to be reviewed by a lawyer, according to her filing.

The agreement, as appended to Ms Nelson’s filing, stated that Mr Rosenkranz would pay her $100,000 in return for her agreeing not to contact him or his family, not to discuss their relationship and not making any claims against him.

Mr Rosenkranz has 30 days to respond to a petition by Ms Nelson seeking unspecified damages and for the “agreement” to be declared null and void. Ms Nelson’s lawyer and a representative for Mr Rosenkranz and Ms Munroe did not return a request for comment

 

Source : Telegraph

Why You Should Never Confront Your Husband’s Mistresses

Being cheated on in a marriage is one of the most painful experiences that a husband can subject his wife to. Yes, the pain is excruciating and can turn a woman’s life upside down.

Loving a husband faithfully for years only for him to fall into the hands of another woman humiliates a wife and robs her of her worth, as a woman, and self-esteem. The emotional breakdown that comes with this betrayal makes the woman resentful, angry, frustrated and confused.

Once the woman is turned into an emotional roller-coaster, she is likely to lose her identity and isolate herself from family and friends – those who she needs most to cope.

However, trying to suppress unsettling feelings only turns her into a time-bomb. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned and I can only imagine what runs through the mind of such a wife: Am I not good enough for my man? Was it a one-off or a full blown affair with the ‘other woman’? The lingering question is whether to confront the man’s side dish or walk away from the marriage gracefully and with dignity. Should a wife decide to save her marriage, she may take matters into her hands and confront the ‘other woman’, warning her of dire consequences if she does not leave her husband alone. This, in most cases, is done on impulse.

Njoki, a 45-year-old home-stay-mum, says wives should know better. “I would not advise any woman to confront her husband’s mistress. She is not worth her time. First off, she will not admit to being his lover. Secondly, she may rip into the wife’s heart further by telling her she can sleep with whoever she chooses, and there is nothing the wife can do about it. Worse still, the mistress may say the wife is simply not good enough for her husband.”

Read more: http://www.the-star.co.ke/news/article-191630/why-you-should-never-confront-your-husbands-mistresses#sthash.JhV8IrYv.dpuf