Mike Mondo has done something most Kenyan men loathe to do, apologize.
The Classic 105 presenter took to his social media and admitted that he is heartbroken after a certain damsel ghosted him.
FYI: Ghosting is when someone you are dating or starting to date just goes mute on you. And you have no idea why.
This led to him penning a long post about the evils of ghosting.
Mike Mondo wrote, “This is the wholly unpleasant phenomenon when someone you are dating decides to simply fade away into the ether rather than have an upfront, honest, face to face, adult conversation about why he or she no longer wants to keep seeing you. I must admit, I am guilty of this in the past. And yes, Karma handed it straight back at me. And this is what I learnt from that experience.
I’m an emotional guy, I admit, but I am not big on emotions. What I mean is, when I give, I truly give – but i have extremes, when I don’t want to give, I will hold back no matter what. Thing is I am not lukewarm in any way, I am either with it or not. That’s why I want to apologize to anyone who cared about me that I ghosted. I realize now it’s a cop-out. My deepest heartfelt apologies, and fyi, I will contact you soon to say as much.
To all those who ghost (myself included): You’re making our generation look bad. Our generation is being made to look like a bunch of dating degenerates, largely due to a toxic dating culture that condones dishonesty and has normalized shameless acts such as ghosting. Calls, texts and Facebook messages will go unanswered until a person finally “get the hint” and accept the fact that it’s over. In short, it’s the self-centered and easy way out of a relationship (or ‘almost-relationship’, or ‘situationship’ – or whatever you want to call it.). If you’ve been on the receiving end, you know that it’s a confusing and frustrating experience that most likely left you wondering why people ghost in the first place. Despite the fact that there are many other, better ways to break up with someone, it seems that people can’t seem to retire the pesky habit of ghosting.
Though daters claim they do it to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, ghosting is actually just a selfish act and easy solution to avoid broaching a difficult, emotionally wrenching conversation. I did it because it made me feel less awkward and uncomfortable—i wasn’t really taking the other person’s feelings into account at all. I ask myself sometimes, why did I treat others in a way that I, myself, would not want to be treated?
Psychologically, we’re abandoning someone, betraying their trust, and leaving them completely in the dark as to what happened and why we left. I learnt this the hard way this year after being ghosted….before the anger sets in, we turn inwards and blame ourselves. Did I do something wrong? Am I too clingy? Am I bad in bed? Is my radar broken? Am I unlovable? There’s so much mental anguish that goes into over-analyzing what happened. It’s soul-crushingly painful. Ghosting impacts your self-esteem and self-worth. It can lead to depression, which affects your sleep, appetite, concentration at work, and desire to be around friends. It can also cause anxiety in which we obsess about what happened, feel on edge, and are filled with worry and insecurity. We spend hours, days, weeks, and sometimes months trying to piece together the mystery. Besides for the inner angst, in some cases, someone is totally frozen and unable to move forward. If you attempt a new relationship you often bring baggage in which there is a lack of trust, self-doubt and fear of vulnerability, making it difficult for the new romance to flourish.
That’s why I say this, rather than wasting someone’s precious time and emotional energy that could be better invested back into the dating market, you need to commit to letting someone down in a straightforward way. Yes, it could likely be an emotionally draining face to face conversation—a tear might even be shed. However, it’s important for that persons personal growth, the emotional healing process of the person we’ve taken the time to get to know, and for the greater dating community, which both parties will be re-entering. So, in the words of the Ghostbusters song “If there’s something weird and it don’t look good, who you gonna call…?” How about your partner so that you can break things off the right way!
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