Can’t Pay, Won’t Pay! Kenyans shout after Kikuyu dowry list goes viral

 

A list of the requirements a man should pay for a bride according to Kikuyu customs has upset KOT.

Meet Joho’s beautiful niece whose dad asked for only Ksh 250 as dowry

The list is outrageous according to KOT who say in these harsh economic times, a wedding is an expensive affair. Read the breakdown of what it would cost to marry a woman from the house of Mumbi.

ruracio details
Kikuyu dowry list on Twitter

Man offers his kidney as dowry for DJ MO’s stunning sister

The list has elicited debate and KOT are quite clear they are not ‘boarding’.

Check it out below and drop your comments, while also reading those shared by Kenyans on Twitter.

Wangui Martha.. My opinion is parent should never ask for anything from their kids they should bless them to have a good stable life kids should only appreciate a parent but not be given conditions so many marriages are failing coz of such conditions

Samuel Mburu Chege… Never unless 18years and a virgin plus very beautiful with a God fearing family and a family lineage that produces twins and triplets and very humble with a low tone .

REVEALED: President Uhuru postpones paying of dowry

Nimo Gathogo-DeBor ..I can’t allow this kind of thing to be done. Some cultural practices are just being exaggerated In the wrong way, for my daughter I want nothing but love & respect from the person she ends up with.

Lucas Kibuchi …This is not fit for a daughter from the mountain, too high 😂

Lorenzo Lawrence ..This is daylight robbery and total madness..
Is she avirgin?

Ngugi Isaac… And you ask why there are so many single mothers. Women who never got married in their life.

Rhoda Love… Someone handsome should pay a quarter of this tuoane😂😂😂

Terry Wanjuguna …Total is 170k you wife’s one month or few months salary plus your parents blessing. What are you people complaining about

Sam May B Artlis …Not big deal…provided unabuy nani…sikifagio ya kila mtu….always my cupcake b mine whether nko near or far but how do i know?? Nigute

Patrick Bor… Ikae,then after a month,mnaskia filing divorce?

Also read more here

Jua Cali reveals what he would like his son to avoid (Exclusive)

Jua Cali was at our offices yesterday. The rapper spoke about many things in his life. One of the questions we asked him was a major lesson he had learned about marriage? He replied that one should never keep secrets from their spouse wife, as those secrets always get out.

Juakcali and his wife Lilly
Juakcali and his wife Lilly

He also said that the things that he would never want his son to be or do that include: do drugs, be a liar or a wishy-washy person. What did he do before he was famous?

Jua-Calis-son
Jua-Calis-son

He said that he had been lucky that he had never needed to be employed, adding that he and Clemmo used to fix electronic items. He also said that he was happy with the current crop of musicians like Ethic and Ochungulo, defending their style of music.

Jua Cali
Jua Cali

Jua Kali said that he didn’t believe that Wasafi controlled the Kenyan music market, although he did agree that they have good music. He thought the gong for dominating the Kenyan media industry should go to the aforementioned Ochungulo family and Ethic groups.

In a quickfire section with our interviewer, the celeb said the one thing he would never do was do drugs. He also explained that a place he would not like to visit again in Africa was Nigeria. He did not give his reasons as to why.

Jua Cali
The rapper on the phone

And what was the cheapest thing that he has purchased in his wardrobe? He said that his boxers cost 100 shillings. He also revealed that the toughest time in his life was when he and Clemmo were trying to make Calif a big recording studio.

Read here for more

‘We created the best of moments together’ – Chanty to Eric Omondi

 

Eric Omondi and his long time girlfriend Miss Chanty have been serving us relationship goals for the longest time. But things took a turn on Tuesday May 22nd, when he announced on social media that they had broken up.

While many fans didn’t want to believe it as he has pulled many publicity stunts before, it may be a reality we have to face.

Miss Chanty has finally addressed the issue with Eric Omondi after the comedian took to his social media to share a break up message.

Have they broken up? Eric Omondi sends Chantal cryptic message

Well Miss Chanty responded to the post saying

Hello guys, I hope this finds you well i have been silent for a while…Eric and i have had long discussions for the past one month. As you all know my family lives in italy and its been really challenging for both of us.

I love eric and i will always love him and we are okay; we created the best of moments together, we shared our dreams and visions but most importantly we shared our lives. And i will always cherish every single moment. 

46263740_277270162849571_6059357884514664867_n

 

As i write this post i want to ask God to always protect you and your dreams until our paths meet again.

I hate goodbyes so it’s not a goodbye its more like a see you later.
I will always be here for you ANYTIME, ANYDAY

 

 

Read more

 

These 5 things determine if you are wife or husband material

 

Almost no conversation goes on amongst Kenyans without the mention of ‘wife’ or ‘husband’ material.

Whether we are discussing celebrities or our pals, we all refer to some mannerisms as wife or husband material.

A study sheds light on what men and women perceive as marriage traits – and it seems they have very different views.

The survey, which asked respondents what the top five ‘marriage material’ characteristics were, showed the differing views between the s3xes.

WHAT WOMEN WANT
Honest/trustworthy – 78 per cent
You just know – 52 per cent
My friends and family like them – 46 per cent
Romantic – 33 per cent
Career driven – 13 per cent

WANT MEN WANT
We’re sexually compatible – 64 per cent
Willingness to look after me – 43 per cent
Enjoy sports or let me watch – 41 per cent
They are attractive – 33 per cent
My friends and family like them – 29 per cent

Also read more here

The one thing that makes Kenyan women shout at their men in public

Ladies why do you feel the need to shout at your man in public?

An article in a local daily dubbed ‘The angry woman syndrome’ formed the basis of the morning conversation on Classic 105.

On the morning conversation on Tubonge Tuesday, Maina Kageni sought to know why Kenyan wives are always angry and why they don’t care about shouting at their husbands in public.

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A female caller narrated to Maina why she vents on the streets.

‘I was that good girl until marriage changed me’. revealed Purity.

Another said ‘inatokana na lack of conjugal rights. Nitakwambia kwanini. Mimi nilikuwa fresh form four nikapata kazi ya nymba ambayo nimefanya kwa seven years. Huyu husband na wife wanakosana juu ya bedroom. Mwanamke anaambia mume ni bure, shida si pesa, ni hawa watu wawili kutoka kwa bedroom. Fuatilia Maina shida si pesa. shida ya hawa wanawake si pesa, mimi natimiza zangu na sioni hiyo shida.

Maina responded saying ‘I didn’t even imagine that would even be an issue. Wow. ladies you are not saying that are you? So it’s all there. is that it?

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Sharon also called in and weighed in on the matter.

‘ukikuta umeshoutiwa know that you have failed as a man, know that you are not man enough for her. you are just a disgrace unajua it is the work of a man to shape the character of his wife, so if he can’t control his woman calm her down, she will get frustrated and shout every corner.’
@Maryiana96..
We ain’t bitter, they just can’t hear us.. How do yu make a man who goes on Friday and shows up on Sunday hear you! How…. They are big babies they only listen that way! @Itsmainakageni @classic105kenya #MainaAndKingangi

Another lambasted men saying
@carolkungu3548..
@ItsMainaKageni @Classic105Kenya This is not a ladies wish to ve such a bad temper its the way tormentation has invested in us especially when ur the first born and ur seen like a nobody and being mistreated too…..#MainaAndKingangi

I am not pregnant! – Anerlisa Muigai denies twins rumours

Felix differs warning
@FelixxOtienoo…
#MainaAndKingangi
@ItsMainaKageni
@Classic105Kenya
Maina most of this drama queens are usually ladies who struggle in academics or were academic dwarfs. I did that research. I had a girl friend like that it pained me more to be shout at by an empty debee.

what is your opinion about angry wives shouting on the streets?

Also read more here

 

Maina and Kingangi debate whether wives make their husbands successful

Maina and Kingangi this morning had an interesting conversation concerning the importance a woman plays in building up a man.

Maina referenced a conversation he had with a woman last Friday who admitted that she was the reason her husband had become successful in life, saying,

I met him when he was in a rental that cost 12k a month. Now I am in our own house. Our children are in the best schools. They(husbands without direction) send 20k a week to mpango wa kando and bars. He says that I am the best and thanks God every day he married me. He is ahead of his siblings, just because he married me.

Maina agreed with her that women build up men but Kingangi was not buying that notion and said that women did push me alright, but it wasn’t helpful, rather it was more like nagging. He said that is why many Kenyan men were going to Uganda and Rwanda to thrive.

Kingangi also asked if he was pushing him away or pushing him forward, a question that Maina decided to ignore. Kingangi caused laughter by asking Maina why he wasn’t married if women could help a man so much?

Maina then opened up the conversation to the audience. It was a near even split among the genders with most men refuting Maina’s argument while the women agreed that they had a big part to play in the success of men.

One of the male callers said that the conception that that lady had brought up was nonsense. Captain Kale agreed with that man saying that women push you then when you make it they either kill you or divorce you.

Another asked on text how it was that retired President Moi had succeeded without a woman in his life. There is a difference between pushing a man and suffocating, another man wrote on text.

There was the rare man who agreed with Maina saying that a good woman can indeed help you. One female opined that anytime you try to help men, they say umewakalia.

Another male caller defended women and said that he sees the benefit his wife plays in his life. The caller added he got his wife when they lived in a house where he paid rent of sh3000. Now he had everything and he insisted that Mpango wa kando hawasaidii.

A female caller agreed saying that if you don’t push men, that they will be at a round-about for the rest of their lives.

Read here for more

‘It’s not what you think’  Njugush’s wife pleads with Kenyans

 

Njgush and his wife Celestine went to Dubai recently where they treated their fans to cute coupledom pictures.

The well deserved vacation according to the couple saw them come back home with some surprising news.

The couple are in Uganda and have unveiled they are expecting bby number two.

Celestine chuckled when sharing the news with Kenyans saying

Its not what you guys think. Work n play

In all honesty, we are happy for this beautiful couple, and blessing to them as they await the arrival of baby number two.

celestineandnjugushpregnancynews

‘I caught him cheating with a 16 year old yet I am pregnant for him’ Racheal

A Kenyan woman has learnt the hard way that it is not only death that can separate a man and a wife. Another woman can be the deal breaker.

*Racheal * is heartbroken after catching her husband sleeping with a neighbors daughter.

I caught my husband sleeping with our neighbors daughter in his car this night, I am 5 months pregnant. It was the most disgusting sight ever in my life.

I noticed he was not in the room and his phone was charging , so I called him but no answer.

‘My arrogant house help is pregnant for my husband’ Cries city woman

Black woman crying

I don’t know what took my outside to his car then I decided to pick up my favorite cd I was playing in his car, but first I went for the car keys and did not see it.

So I rushed out to the car to be sure I did not leave it open and I saw the car shaking.

I was scared at first be I felt someone was about to steal and move the car so I rushed and grabbed the car door handle.

They were foolish enough not to lock so I saw them.

Racheal adds that she feels betrayed because she is pregnant.

All I did was pick a few clothes and left to my friends house as my husband chased me around  naked.

I feel like dying because I can’t endure this pain. I can’t sleep I had to block him so he won’t kill my battery.

Is it too late to abort this child and pick up my life ? This girl he was sleeping with is just 15 or 16 years old.

What advice would you give Racheal?

Read more

‘He pays my bills and rent in Karen with no strings attached’ Brags woman

A  Classic 105 fan has confessed that it is possible to have a relationship with a man with full financial benefits with no strings attached.

*Melisa* says she met her prince charming months ago and she is already reaping the fruits of that union.

I met this man 3 months ago in a casino and he has bought me a big car and is renting me a house in Karen and paying for my trips and we have no strings attached!.

‘Karma has caught up with me for sleeping with married men’ Cries woman

Well Kenyans are not convinced about this given the famous saying ‘vitu za bure zilisha enzi za Moi’.

Below are some of their responses.

Below are some of the reactions from Kenyans

@jchuizoAkikuambia umfungulie boot…..pliz remove the door….
@MKOtienoBImagine a big “car” renting a house in Karen & pay for trips just like that and she’s happy saying no strings attached. Wait until the owner of the “riches” comes for her blood.
@AwinoG: Look at where they met- a casino. Three months isn’t enough for this kind of commitment unless there is more than meets the eye. This doesn’t point to the goodness of the man. You seem ensnared by the bait of a seasoned actor- you will soon discover the meaning of his generosity
@rench2000Radi yake iko kwa njia!!!!  ATI no strings attached!!!!

Read more

‘Karma has caught up with me for sleeping with married men’ Cries woman

An article published in a local newspaper has left many in shock.

According to the article, a lodging owner earns Sh84,000 per day by providing bedding services to couples, when business is slow.

Well Maina Kageni was left wondering why men always say they do not have money yet according to the article on Standard, men pay sh1500 per hour entertaining women in lodgings.

That is minus drinks and other expenses.

 

A black couple on a date
A black couple on a date

According to Mwalimu King’ang’i, it depends on how a woman asks for money from her man, adding that if you nag and shout you will definitely get nothing.

A female caller confessed that years ago she used to date married men who spoilt her with loads of cash, but now her husband spends cash on other women instead.

‘5 years ago I was the side chick and I would get everything I wanted. Karma has caught up with me.

My husband does not come home, he does not give me money yet I lost my job two months ago.

He does not come home from Monday to Thursday. I only see him on Friday and only when he decides to come.

I never used to care whether the men I dated were married or not.

I know my man is cheating on me but I can only tell young women that Karma is a b#tch.

 

Another caller adds

Women should know that these guys are very cunning they make sure they are with their wife’s on weekends and spend time with mipango wa kando on weekends.

Every time I ask my husband for school fees he usually starts bringing issues of kwani where do I take my salary.

Once he steps out I usually know he is not mine but once he comes back he is mine.

If I ever catch him cheating that will be the end of the road.

Read more

‘My son had to undergo 17 surgeries and 300 face stitches’ Tom Mboya

Former K24 journalist Tom Mboya has opened up on fatherhood and the challenges he has gone though bringing up his six kids.

Mboya, who is almost in his 50’s, says that the journey has had its fair share of challenges, but it’s been a worthy ride.

The journey had its fair share of struggles at the beginning. Being a father intimidated me but with time I settled down after realizing I had to play the role of mother and father.

We were parents when young so we did not understand the dynamics of marriage yet.

I decided to work on myself first and right now my kids are in campus and I feel so proud that I did it all alone.

‘Alcohol was going to kill me, pancreatitis saved me’ – Journalist Tom Mboya

Mboya goes on to narrate a horrifying incident that left his son seriously injured and how it shocked him.

My son had at the time disagreed with his friends so they decided to ‘revenge’ and going by the injuries sustained it is obvious that their aim was to kill him.

For some reasons he did not die. He lived to tell the story. He also underwent 17 procedures on the jaw and 300 stitches on the face.

I looked at my son in that state and felt weak. He was in a bad state and it was a very unpleasant image. The mother was however very disturbed.

I looked my son in the eyes and told him he was gonna be OK and he is OK

Read more

‘My In-laws deserted us with their son’s bill of 1.2 million’ City woman

A female caller shocked Maina Kageni after confessing how her sister’s husband was in a coma for two months and no one from his family visited him.

She said that despite all this, her sister stood by her husband  until his last breath.

Maina let me share a story of my sister.

Her husband was diabetic and it reached a point he could not even go to work. All he could do is drink.

Many are the times he lied to my sister that he is at the office only for the secretary to confirm he had not even been seen at the premises.

One day he collapsed in town was in a coma for two months. My sister visited him everyday crying at his bedside as if the world was ending.

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A sick man resting on a hospital bed
A sick man resting on a hospital bed

Female body parts found chopped off and wrapped in a polythene bag

She adds

All this time no one from his family came to visit. At some point he died and left behind a bill of Ksh 1.2 million.

It reached a point where I would tell my sister that the man is already dead we should just take him to a morgue already but she adamantly refused.

hospital

When he died only one guy from his family came with Ksh 30,000. We sent them a budget and we finally managed to bury him after arranging for a harambee.

If your In-Laws are not supportive you can’t be able to support your man.

Read more

 Ben Pol proposes to Anerlisa Muigai on the beach in romantic moment

 

Tanzanian singer Ben Pol and Heiress Anerlisa Muigai have been in Mombasa for a getaway that turned into a beautiful marriage proposal moment.

Anerlisa shared a picture of the moment Ben Pol got down on one knee to ask her to marry him.

The two began dating in February 2018, and mark a year in their relationship.

News of the engagement has excited their fans.

Anerlisa revealed the beautiful moment with a simple caption’

I Said YES 

With Ben Pol responding with heart emoji’s

Ben Pol was wearing a white outfit as he went down on one  knee, in what appears to be an emotional moment.

Anerlisa also dons a white trousers and a floral top as she covers her mouth in shock, as he slips the ring on her finger.

Their fans and celebrity friends congratulated them,  including the Wasafi team.

The engagement picture comes a day after it was alleged she is pregnant, claims she has denied.

Also read more here

5 unrealistic things guys expect from girls

 

Trying to make sense of what a man wants from you can be difficult.

 

But here is a rundown of some of the things that guys expect from girls, that tend to cause a strain in relationships.
1. He needs a friend with benefit, but will never marry a girl who has had many relationships

Expecting a girl to be your friend with benefit for life is unrealistic. Won’t she find someone to marry, and wait just one minute is that even possible to be a friend with benefit for life?

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I have heard it said from many men that there are two types of chicks – the one to have funwith and – the one to marry.

 

2. Girls are expected to be natural ( we love you natural girls) but at the same time she must be super stunning

Even the moon has dark spots.
Okay, a girl can look good while being natural. But how can she manage to look SUPER S3XY without makeup. Sure, girls have natural beauty, but it doesn’t mean that you can expect her to look like you wish. Shouldn’t guys expect that a girl be caring, honest and all those nice things?

3. Be committed but not wedding crazy

Every girl has planned her wedding by the time she is done with college, whether or not she has a man.

‘It will be a private affair’ Zari on her upcoming wedding to her new man

So expecting to date her without any mention of future plans is unrealistic.

The marriage topic WILL ALWAYS come up, and if she is committed to you, the subject will be there.

 

4. Being low maintenance while looking high maintenance

The expectation is that she should be both, but not trying too much.

If you want her to look like a “high maintenance” girl, you need to spend money on her for maintenance. The word itself says “high maintenance,” How can you expect her to look the same with almost no money?

‘No bras for me due to pain and scars in my right breast and lung’ Jahmby

5. Being distant while still showing interest

Now this is confusing to girls. She can’t be turned on and off like a switch.

Guys, either you are in or you are out.

Is this true and what have you done when faced with such a situation?

Eight red flags to look out for in your relationship that signal it’s time to leave now

 

Australian dating and relationship expert Louanne Ward understands how easy it is to let emotion take over and ignore signals that things might not be as they seem.

She said many people ignore these warnings and enter into a relationship that might not be suitable despite the fact red flags were there from the outset.

Here, Louanne offers an eight-step guide that will help you recognise some of the more common indicators.

1. Rushing a relationship

‘Sometimes we meet somebody who swoops you off your feet and tells you everything you want to hear and they whisk you off on this lovely, magical journey,’ Louanne said in a recent Facebook video.

And as intoxicating this can be, the expert said this situation can be fraught.

‘These people are trying to manipulate the outcome of how things are going to work out and they are controlling the situation,’ she said.

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2. They are on social media but have no photos

If you’ve met through social media, watch for red flags, advises Louanne. One in particular is the person you’re dating has no photos of themselves online.

‘They say they are really private but often have lots of friends. They comment and like others’ posts but rarely post anything themselves,’ she said.

The reason this sort of behaviour suggests an issue is that it can indicate a person may have something to hide, the expert explained.

‘If you’ve connected with somebody on social media, this is something to be extra cautious about because if they’ve started a relationship with you on social media, it’s their potential fishing ground.’

3. They pursue you but tell you they don’t know what they want

There’s nothing more confusing than a person who makes the effort to date you but then says they don’t know what they want.

‘[They say] they really like you, they enjoy spending time with you, you’re really cool but they just don’t know what they want, or that they’re not even sure they’re looking for a relationship,’ Louanne said.

The coach is quick to point out that it’s important to read this as a sign this person isn’t available – and she recommends leaving as quickly as possible.

Louanne continued if you choose to ignore this type of behaviour because you believe the outcome could be different, despite their ambivalence, this may indicate you have a problem with self-esteem and self-worth.

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4. Watch for sudden outbursts of anger

Anger can be a tricky emotion to express in a relationship.

However, a sign there’s a potential problem is when a person you’re dating appears to lose their temper too often – and for no reason.

‘You start dating a wonderful person and things are going well but they are very quick to anger for no reason and they can turn on you quite quickly,’ Louanne said.

She added this type of behaviour can take a range of forms including storming out of the room, sending nasty messages or hanging up the phone during a conversation.

Louanne said while a person might apologise and offer a range of excuses, this sort of inconsistency can become an emotional rollercoaster.

‘If this is repeated behaviour, this is a red flag. It’s a definite no for someone to put you on a rollercoaster of anger and apology.’

5. One person controls the contact

During the early stages of a relationship, it’s normal to send each other a flurry of messages.

But the issue is when one person appears to be more in control of the situation.

‘You might send them a message or phone them and they don’t pick up or they don’t reply to your message straight away. Sometimes they can leave you dangling for hours or days,’ Louanne said.

‘Because when somebody needs to control when they can and can’t speak to you, it’s often an indicator there is a third person involved.’

6. They keep you at arm’s length and won’t commit

The expert said an inability to commit is often masked in vagueness – something that should be seen as a red flag.

‘You ask them to do something and they will say “I will have to get back to you” or “I’m not quite sure” or they just avoid making plans.’

It might be that a few weeks have passed since you’ve seen them, and while they will stay in touch, there will be no concrete plans to meet, Louanne continued.

‘Another telltale sign and a big red flag that you may not be the only person that they are seeing.’

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7. S3x is always a topic of conversation

There’s nothing wrong with talking about s3x but when this is the only topic of conversation or a go-to, Louanne says take note.

In particular, the coach said to watch for a person who might constantly question you about what you’re wearing or compliment you excessively on your body.

‘If these are people you haven’t sleep with yet, read this behavior as early stage red flags.’

Louanne also said another thing to watch for when being pursued by somebody who is highly s3xual is they may start sending you nvde photos of themselves and may expect you to send photos back.

‘As the relationship starts to develop, you may find yourself in a position where you’re sending photos that may make you feel uncomfortable,’ she said.

Louanne cautions: ‘It is a red flag when someone is asking you to do something that’s outside of your comfort zone.’

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8. Constantly telling small lies

In the early stages of a relationship, white lies might seem small and insignificant, but these can indicate a pattern of dishonesty.

Louanne said there are a couple of different reasons this is a red flag.

‘One is the person may be a compulsive liar or the person could be potentially seeing others, or they are trying to manipulate a situation to get their own way.

‘They are used to using lies to get their own way.’

Dailymail

The five types of stalkers and how to spot them

When Moi University student Ivy Wangechi was murdered, it turned out that the man behind the brutal incident, felt ignored by her rejection.

He is said to have asked someone to spy on her and report back what the medical student was upto. He later caught up with her and hacked her to death.

‘Ivy Wangechi was killed for ignoring Kinuthia’s calls’ – Police

Stalking is on the increase, say scientists, and it’s not just celebrities who are under threat.

And, claim scientists, stalkers can now be split into five distinct groups: the rejected stalker, the intimacy stalker, the incompetent stalker, the resentful stalker and – most dangerous of all – the predatory stalker

Ivy Wangechi and Naftalia Kinuthia
Ivy Wangechi

Professor Paul Mullen, of Monash University, Australia, claims ordinary people are now more at risk than once thought.

He blames the rise in celebrity culture and social changes such as greater instability in relationships, more difficulty in finding partners and the rise of a blame culture in society.

‘We define everything by our relationships,’ he said. ‘But there are many people who are socially isolated and rely on fabrication or delusion for their core identity.’

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Men and women aged between 16 and 30 were most at risk. One in five women and one in ten men between these ages had experienced some form of stalking.

This compares with 12 per cent of women and four per cent of men aged between 45 and 60.

Professor Mullen said: ‘Those figures seem odd because obviously the older group have lived longer and would have been expected to have had more experience of relationship break-ups and things like stalking.

‘The high rate among the younger age group tends to indicate that rates are rising, and pretty rapidly too.’

Professor Mullen suggests stalkers fall into five distinct groups. They are:

• The rejected stalker: The rejected stalker cannot accept that a relationship is over and swings between dependency on the other person, pleading for a reconciliation and flying into a rage at being rejected.

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This is the most common type of stalker. They are usually male, and account for about half of all stalking cases.

• The intimacy stalker: These stalkers often target celebrities or people they do not know. They fix on someone and believe they are in love with them. They also think in time their love will be reciprocated.

This group accounts for around 5 per cent of cases are are more likely to be women.

• The incompetent stalker: This type of stalker is usually socially incompetent, chauvinistic or a misogynist who believe they are entitled to a relationship with a woman. Although often short-term, stalking is characterised by awkward pleadings or aggressive demands.

• The resentful stalker: Unlike other types, these stalkers behave deliberately to frighten their victim. It is often motivated by a desire for revenge.

The stalker targets the person who has hurt them directly – or a representative of that group or person – for instance, a boss, a woman or a certain ethnic minority. This accounts for a minority of cases and is often rooted in the workplace.

• The predatory stalker: This is the least common and most dangerous type of stalker – the category that sex offenders fall into.

They follow their victims, observe their behaviour and gather information in order to plan a real attack. They are exclusively men and stalk victims for a feeling of power, control and sexual excitement.

What to do if you are being stalked

 If you think you are being stalked, there are many options available to you. Taking some simple measures should make you feel more physically and emotionally able to deal with the situation.

 If you intend to go to the police, you’ll need to provide evidence. Make sure you keep a diary of every incident, tape any phone calls and if you can, take photographs or video your stalker.

 If you fear you are bring stalked tighten up security at home, in transit and at work. Change the locks to your home and install a burglar alarm. Ask a male friend to record an answering machine message on your home phone line.

When walking home alone, vary your route. If you are being harassed at work, ask a colleague to answer your phone for you. Always be wary about giving out personal details when dealing with credit card services, internet chat rooms and people you meet.

 Finally, there are many support groups offering emotional help. Speaking to a qualified counsellor can make you feel more empowered and increase your level of confidence when dealing with a stalker.

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Kenyans blast woman who dumped truck driver after educating her

Today’s morning debate on Classic 105 was based on whether ladies should feel indebted to a man who has helped them out financially, when it comes to love.

The debate was brought about after a woman confessed that she was not interested romantically in a man that had paid her fee since she was 16 after she lost her parents.

She says

I’m a 26 year old woman and my Parents died when I was 14 years old. I dropped out of school because no one could afford to pay my fees.

I met a guy when i was 16 and he sent me back to school. He sold fruit on the street so that he could pay my school fees.

‘He educated me since I was 16, I want to dump him now’ Brags woman

Married

He later got a job as a truck driver and sent me to University.

I am now working as lawyer. My problem is that i feel i cant continue with this relationship because this guy is not the type of man i would like to marry one day.

How best can i tell him that he is not my type without hurting his feelings? I want somebody in my own class not a truck driver please help me.

‘I dated him as a mkokoteni guy only to be dumped when he got rich’ -Mary

Here is what one fan had to say

I would urge that woman to walk away because nowadays we are walking with an axe in the car over such behaviors.

There is nothing as difficult as keeping a woman who is not in love with you.But as they say Karma is a b*tch and it will catch up with her.

He will get very hurt, so I would just advice her to walk away.

Relationships

Another caller adds

That lady is being very inhumane, because that guy stood by her when she had no one.

Another caller adds that its unfair to leave the guy given that he put his dreams ion hold to let her pursue hers.

If she feels he is not his type let her help him to a level where she feels he meets her standards.

Yes he is a truck driver and she is a lawyer so what? Let her help him buy lorries which he can be managing if she does not want to get married to a truck driver.

‘I dated him as a mkokoteni guy only to be dumped when he got rich’ -Mary

Another adds

The lady should help the man achieve bigger dreams because he sacrificed himself so that the lady could study to the level she is.

One fan however seems to disagree with every one saying that the lady should support the man.

So educating a 16 years old who was in a vulnerable position guys now want payback. Really at 16 could you make decision on marriage?

Shame on the man Tenda wema nenda zako. So should all those who sponsor orphans marry them. St*pid

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‘He educated me since I was 16, I want to dump him now’ Brags woman

A 26-year-old woman has provoked mixed reactions after she asked for advise on how to dump a man who has educated her since she was 16 because he is not her type.

According to the woman she is now a lawyer while he is ‘just a truck driver’.

That has made her lose interest and she wonders how she can politely tell him off.

I’m a 26 year old woman and my Parents died when i was 14 years old. I dropped out of school because no one could afford to pay my fees.

I met a guy when i was 16 and he sent me back to school. He sold fruit on the street so that he could pay my school fees. He later got a job as a truck driver and sent me to University.

‘I dated him as a mkokoteni guy only to be dumped when he got rich’ -Mary

depressed

I am now working as lawyer. My problem is that i feel i cant continue with this relationship because this guy is not the type of man i would like to marry one day.

How best can i tell him that he is not my type without hurting his feelings? I want somebody in my own class not a truck driver please help me.

What would your advise to her be?

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