Signs That Your Woman Is Being Manipulative

It’s very hard for a man to accept the fact that he can be manipulated, but it happens. Many men will take their women’s actions as a sign of “love” yet it is nothing but manipulation.

When you mention it, they will go into full combative mode and say that these women are in love and therefore cannot manipulate them. However there are signs that one is manipulative in as much as you may be blind to it;

1. You’re routinely buying her things with no reciprocation – It’s ingrained in a man’s head that he’s the one who should pay most often when taking a girl out. The playful “reach for the check” game is incredibly important early on in a relationship since it shows she’s not automatically expecting you to foot the bill for her meal. If you’re routinely the one paying, however, and there’s been minimal effort from her to contribute financially, you’re probably getting used for your wallet.

2. She doesn’t let you NEAR her phone – It’s 2015 and everyone has their phone either in their hand or within arm’s reach at all times. Does she tense up when she answers her phone around you? Does she tilt the screen away from you so you can’t see who she’s texting? Does she make sure its face down most of the time, or lock the phone immediately after receiving a text so the screen goes black?

3. You’re basically her chaffeur – If she owns a car, yet you are the one always driving, she may be using you as her own personal Uber driver (with benefits, if you’re lucky). If she’s never offered to drive and there isn’t a valid reason, she may be taking you for a ride as chances are you are paying for the fuellling of the car everytime.

4. She talks to you about other guys, outright – Of course she’s going to naturally mention other men in her life, but if she’s talking about drinking with other men or going to exciting places with them, chances are she just considers you a friend and she’s casually letting you know about her life. She’s obviously not telling you about these guys to show you she likes you better.

5. She always has an excuse when she’s unavailable –  Ahhh, I totally want to come! I just have so much work to do.” OMG I totally forgot! Sorry!” Coffee sounds great, but I’m just getting over being sick and I don’t want to infect you.”  The last one was a little obvious, but you get the point. Of course, you have to use your own discretion as to whether or not she’s making up an excuse or actually can’t hang out with you. If you’ve attempted a rendezvous multiple times and have been met with excuses, she’s probably not into you and is just using you as someone to talk to when she’s bored. If you barely talk, she’s definitely not into you, so plant your flag somewhere else.

6. She only texts you when she’s drunk – If she does, she wants coitus and nothing else. She’s not interested in a relationship with you or walking off into the sunset while holding hands. She wants sex and that’s it. Obviously, this would be tough for most men to turn down particularly if there is interest in more than just a hook-up but make no mistake with her intentions. She’s in need of some vitamin D and knows where she can easily get it.

7. You hook up more than you hang out – While this may not sound like a problem for many guys, if you are romantically interested in her and want a relationship at some point, this should raise some red flags. She may not consider you more than an available set of private parts, and may even be seeing other guys on the side. If she randomly starts using new positions or moves on you, a tiny lightbulb should appear over your head. If her using you for sex isn’t an issue for you, then by all means continue to hit it.

8. She says she’s not ready – Tread carefully, gents; she knows exactly what she’s doing and knows she can easily get away with it if you don’t stand up for yourself. She’s keeping you on her hook like a trout until she (if ever) decides to reel you in. The phrase “right now” implies that, even though she’s currently nailing someone else or isn’t in a good place in her life, she may decide later that you’re finally worthy of her devotion. If you hear this phrase, swim for safer waters, young tuna. She’s manipulating you to keep you around to satisfy her need for attention; meanwhile, she’s free to do whatever (or whoever) she wants. If you’re expecting her to dump her boyfriend for you, don’t. Even if she does, she proves that she may be open to doing it again, but this time to you.

-Tosin

Are You Manipulative? Take This Test To Find Out

Manipulation is described as influencing or attempting to influence the behavior or emotions of others for one’s own purposes and or benefit. We have often come across people who are manipulative from our families, friends, workmates, neighbours and even in our relationships.

Some people can be manipulative and not even know it while others do it intentionally. Are you one of those? Do you want to know if yiu are manipulative? Take this test to find out:

You ask your friend to look after your pet, but you know she’s not keen so…
You promise to do her a favour in return
You plead that it’s a favour, just this once…
You buy her flowers if she accepts, as you are aware that she was not keen on it
It’s unfortunate that she let you down, you’ll have to find someone else to take care of your pet in your absence

You want to borrow something say a dress …
You ask her directly about it, without batting an eyelid
You invite her to the party
You hope she says yes
You tell her that the dress does not suit her

You and your partner are planning to see a movie, but you want to see another movie…
You mention it to him, but also let him know of the other releases in town
You keep raving about the reviews you’ve heard of the film, till he takes the cue
You let him know that you are keen to see the film, but it’s okay if he doesn’t want to
You make a deal with your partner that this time they watch the film you want to see, the next time they watch a film of his choice

A colleague asks you a question by email…
You don’t reply straight away
You reply instantly
You reply as they’ll then be obligated to return you the favour someday
You reply as soon as you get time from the task at hand

You want to take a break, but your company is in the peak period for business…
You remind your boss that last year you worked around the same time, when others were on leave
You insist that you need a break or you’ll fall ill
You say that you’ll make up for your absence with overtime after leave
You cross your fingers that he gives you permission to take a leave

You are using public means and you find the window seat taken…
You request the person occupying the window seat to exchange the seat with you if they don’t mind
You tell the passenger you feel sick and need to sit by the window
You ask to exchange seats, by offering them the latest video game to play on
You wait, hoping to get a free seat

Results:
Draw the line, you can be quite manipulative
Ticking four B’s from the five questions above shows exactly what your inclinations are. You don’t listen to the other person’s point of view. You don’t respect anyone, as you are willing to walk over people to achieve your goals. Remember what goes around, comes around! So develop an attitude of tolerance, patience, as sometimes you need to hear a ‘No’ in your life.

You know to use your charms
If you get more C’s, it shows that you get your work done by charming your way through it. It’s a gentle form of manipulation, but there’s a danger of it going the other side. So take a break once in a while from using that charm of yours, learn to listen to people’s opinions and their needs, and not force them to do what they don’t really want to. It’ll earn you a few brownie points with those around you.

You are straightforward
If you get three A’s out of five right, then you fall in this category of people. When you want something, you ask for it, knowing that the answer could be ‘No.’ Never having to manipulate shows great strength of character, although some may believe you to be passive, don’t pay heed to them. Keep up the attitude, as it’ll help you see things clearly for what they are, and help you keep moving forward.

You just don’t have ‘it’ in you
If you’ve been ticking more D’s than you need to, stop and think. You just are incapable of manipulating anyone, except yourself. It can put you in a frustrating situation most often, than not. Develop the streak to ask what you want. Be direct, as resorting to bribe a favour out of people will not help.

-TOI