It’s very hard for a man to accept the fact that he can be manipulated, but it happens. Many men will take their women’s actions as a sign of “love” yet it is nothing but manipulation.
When you mention it, they will go into full combative mode and say that these women are in love and therefore cannot manipulate them. However there are signs that one is manipulative in as much as you may be blind to it;
1. You’re routinely buying her things with no reciprocation – It’s ingrained in a man’s head that he’s the one who should pay most often when taking a girl out. The playful “reach for the check” game is incredibly important early on in a relationship since it shows she’s not automatically expecting you to foot the bill for her meal. If you’re routinely the one paying, however, and there’s been minimal effort from her to contribute financially, you’re probably getting used for your wallet.
2. She doesn’t let you NEAR her phone – It’s 2015 and everyone has their phone either in their hand or within arm’s reach at all times. Does she tense up when she answers her phone around you? Does she tilt the screen away from you so you can’t see who she’s texting? Does she make sure its face down most of the time, or lock the phone immediately after receiving a text so the screen goes black?
3. You’re basically her chaffeur – If she owns a car, yet you are the one always driving, she may be using you as her own personal Uber driver (with benefits, if you’re lucky). If she’s never offered to drive and there isn’t a valid reason, she may be taking you for a ride as chances are you are paying for the fuellling of the car everytime.
4. She talks to you about other guys, outright – Of course she’s going to naturally mention other men in her life, but if she’s talking about drinking with other men or going to exciting places with them, chances are she just considers you a friend and she’s casually letting you know about her life. She’s obviously not telling you about these guys to show you she likes you better.
5. She always has an excuse when she’s unavailable – “Ahhh, I totally want to come! I just have so much work to do.” “OMG I totally forgot! Sorry!” “Coffee sounds great, but I’m just getting over being sick and I don’t want to infect you.” The last one was a little obvious, but you get the point. Of course, you have to use your own discretion as to whether or not she’s making up an excuse or actually can’t hang out with you. If you’ve attempted a rendezvous multiple times and have been met with excuses, she’s probably not into you and is just using you as someone to talk to when she’s bored. If you barely talk, she’s definitely not into you, so plant your flag somewhere else.
6. She only texts you when she’s drunk – If she does, she wants coitus and nothing else. She’s not interested in a relationship with you or walking off into the sunset while holding hands. She wants sex and that’s it. Obviously, this would be tough for most men to turn down particularly if there is interest in more than just a hook-up but make no mistake with her intentions. She’s in need of some vitamin D and knows where she can easily get it.
7. You hook up more than you hang out – While this may not sound like a problem for many guys, if you are romantically interested in her and want a relationship at some point, this should raise some red flags. She may not consider you more than an available set of private parts, and may even be seeing other guys on the side. If she randomly starts using new positions or moves on you, a tiny lightbulb should appear over your head. If her using you for sex isn’t an issue for you, then by all means continue to hit it.
8. She says she’s not ready – Tread carefully, gents; she knows exactly what she’s doing and knows she can easily get away with it if you don’t stand up for yourself. She’s keeping you on her hook like a trout until she (if ever) decides to reel you in. The phrase “right now” implies that, even though she’s currently nailing someone else or isn’t in a good place in her life, she may decide later that you’re finally worthy of her devotion. If you hear this phrase, swim for safer waters, young tuna. She’s manipulating you to keep you around to satisfy her need for attention; meanwhile, she’s free to do whatever (or whoever) she wants. If you’re expecting her to dump her boyfriend for you, don’t. Even if she does, she proves that she may be open to doing it again, but this time to you.
-Tosin
