What you need to know about romantic Kenyan massage spas

The picture painted of massage parlours in popular media is that of a place where clients can experience a ‘happy ending’ apart from just a body massage.

Beautiful, skimpily dressed masseuses are depicted rubbing massage oil on a client lying nude on a table and only covered with a towel.

Eager to unravel the mystery surrounding this type of business, this writer visited one of these massage parlours, otherwise known as massage spas, on Muindi Mbingu Street.

It all started with a phone call on Friday, which was picked by a woman who introduced herself as Anne.

Posing as a customer, the writer inquired about the various massage services on offer and the pricing.

“We provide full body massage at Sh3,000. We also have Swedish massage, deep tissue massage, reflexology, face scrub and back rubs,” Anne said.

Having inquired about the location of the parlour and whether to book an appointment beforehand, the writer promised to call again in the course of the weekend.

For comparative purposes, the writer decided to make a second call to a different massage parlour.

In less than a minute, the call was picked by a woman who introduced herself as Vera, who proceeded to explain the services on offer.

“We have different kinds of masseuses from Ethiopia, Rwanda, Somalia and even Kenya. You can choose your preferred nationality, who will then accompany you to your room,” Vera said.

What about happy endings? This was the elephant in the room that needed facing head-on.

“Yes, there are happy endings if you so wish, although it comes at an extra fee. But there is no sex between the client and the masseuse,” she said.

This implies that the furthest one’s sexual fantasies can be indulged is with a handjob until you ejaculate. Reports indicate, though, that some brothels use the label of massage parlours to escape scrutiny, so it is not easy to tell which is which.

Having analysed the two options, the writer decided to visit the first parlour, located opposite Jevanjee Gardens, to explore the happenings within these joints that are increasingly popping up all over Nairobi.

At 5pm on Saturday, the writer was ascending a flight of marble-covered stairs, leading to an elegantly furnished room.

The air quality inside the building is in stark contrast to the one outside, where one has to contend with exhaust fumes, dust and the stinking garbage pile-up that are synonymous with Nairobi.

As you near the reception area, a sweet fragrance hits your nostrils, while soft jazz music rings subtly all through to the stairs.

The reception is immaculately designed, with chandeliers above providing the room with a golden yellow hue.

There is a leather sofa for prospective clients to relax on as they await their turn, whereas a glass coffee table is littered with various fashion magazines.

Issa mansion! Check out Zari’s Ugandan home

Seated behind a mahogany table at the reception is a light-skinned receptionist – dressed in a tight-fitting black mini-dress – who immediately flashes a wide smile as soon as the writer enters the room.

“Welcome, sir. Are you here for the full body massage?” she promptly inquires.

From her voice, it is easy to tell that this is Anne, who the writer had conversed with a day earlier.

Upon request, she agrees to provide a tour of the facility and explain how the massaging process occurs.

“Right this way, although there are rooms that are currently occupied,” she says as she ushers the writer through an entrance with the sign ‘Rooms’ above it.

The entrance leads to a passageway comprising various rooms on both sides.

One masseuse comes out of the rooms to reveal a customer inside who is lying prostrate on a massage table.

Clearly surprised, the petite lady, in a tight-fitting white mini-dress, quickly retreats into the room, shutting the door firmly shut.

Soon, Anne ushers the writer into one of the empty rooms that is reminiscent of the romantic layout of a bedroom as portrayed in countless romantic movies.

Measuring approximately the size of a cubicle, the room consists of a massage table dressed in a sparkling white sheet.

Sprinkled all over the massage table are red rose petals.

“The flowers are part of the VIP treatment we give to our customers. It helps you relax and feel at home because some people often feel tense,” Anne says.

At the corner of the room is a bathroom separated from the rest of the room by a sliding door.

“When you come, you can choose to have a warm shower before the massage or afterwards,” Anne says.

HORMONAL EXCITEMENT

Hanging on the sliding door is a white towel and robe as well as a pair of slippers at the entrance to the bathroom.

“First, you take your clothes off and hang them there. Then you put on that robe or tie the towel around your waist and just lie on the table,” Anne responds when asked by the writer about what every client is expected to do.

The sweet fragrance that had ushered the writer into the building still saturates the air within this room.

Although the room has a large window that allows in as much sunlight as possible, a red bulb hanging overhead gives the room a cool ambience designed to create a serene feeling.

The idea of lying on a table in a birthday suit and at the mercy of beautiful lass is something that is admittedly nervy for this writer, who shares this anxiety with Anne.

“In here, there is nothing to be afraid of. You will be provided with quality services and you will leave here feeling relaxed,” she assures the writer.

With this assurance accompanied by a lovely smile, the writer promises to call during the week and set up a proper appointment.

Stepping into the reception area, there is a couple waiting for Anne with their eyes darting from corner to corner, surveying the features of the room.

On the other hand, the writer steps out into the streets to once again encounter the all-too-familiar poor air quality and shoulder-bump with other pedestrians.

This uncomfortable experience only makes the heart yearn for the serenity and hormonal excitement stirred by being inside a massage parlour like the one this writer visited.

OMONDI ONYATTA/The Star

Compe ni Compe! How Kenyan men have overtaken women in beauty industry

Despite the beauty industry being dominated by women, men have gradually penetrated it, taking over the spaces in makeup, hair, manicures and pedicures.

Unlike before, they also now have beauty products exclusive to them.

It is no longer a wonder for a female walking in the streets of Nairobi to be stopped by young men holding up nails and asking if they require the services at a great price.

In 2016, Francis Kakande came to Kenya from Uganda as a refugee. He had dropped out of school in his home country and did not have any work to do when he landed in Kenya.

“I had dropped out of school in Uganda and life became a mess. So when I came to Kenya, I had nothing to do and I had a friend who did nails as his main job,” he said.

While in Kenya, he would visit a close friend who owned a beauty shop in Kangemi.

“I would admire his work and wonder how they would make the nails. It got to a point I told him I wanted to learn about the beauty industry,” he said. 

With the help of his friend and a donor, he enrolled at a local Rongai beauty school for a short course. The course would take about three months to complete.

However, a month into the course, he realised that what he was being taught at school did not match what he saw his friend doing.

 “In school, you had to pay for more courses to reach the professional level. It turns out my three months’ course was for standard knowledge,” he said.

WORK AND GENDER

After two months of school, he decided to join his friend at the salon to acquire more practical skills.

“Because I had the interest, within a month I was good, so we began working together and after that, I left and went to another salon,” he said.

When he left his friend’s salon, he started by doing manicures and pedicures.

He worked at another salon for a year before he joined his current employer at Elegance Beauty Salon in Rongai.

At his workplace, he might have three to five appointments in a day and the rest are walk-ins. The charges for makeup, pedicures and manicures begin from Sh500.

Francis, who is also a self-taught freelance make up artist, says even growing up, he was always interested in the ‘girly’ products.

“I was raised with girls and was always interested in things such as their lipsticks, so I am very comfortable and I like beauty,” he said.

The beautician, who is also a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, says despite people having different perspectives, work, finances and employment have no gender.

“If you have the passion and the talent, you can find anything you can do, so I think people who say men should not be in the beauty industry are wrong,” he said.

Francis also said from his experience, people are not very interested in the sexual orientation as they are with the results.

He has managed to retain a few clients he started with in 2016, and adds he has not faced any discrimination doing his work.

“My clients and employer know who I am and they are fine, as long as I am doing my work. This is also what motivated me to be comfortable and pursue makeup,” he said. 

The makeup artist added some men he knows are passionate about the industry are not queer.

“I can appreciate that the Kenyan community knows how to be professional and they look at the work you are doing,” he said

VENTURING INTO MAKEUP

A lot of salons, he says, shy away from offering makeup services because the sector requires expensive investment.

However, as his interest in makeup grew, and adding from the knowledge he got from his workplace, Francis started watching YouTube tutorials on makeup and trying to follow them.

“It took a while but with time, you go learning and becoming better,” he said. “But beauty products are expensive.”

For instance, his startup kit with products such as foundation, primers, lipsticks, eyeshadow palettes, brushes and setting spray cost about Sh60,000 cumulatively.

“It is expensive to have good makeup and with my current job, I am not earning enough to afford all these products,” he said. “So I have to look for other ways to get the revenue to buy the products.”

Given that beauty products range, sometimes makeup artists will clash with clients because they have different brands of the same product.

“You go to someone and maybe what you have, they did not expect. You may be having Maybelline and someone else has Mac products and you collide,” he said. 

Having products that are not to the client’s preference may also affect the pricing previously agreed on.

“Ideally, you are supposed to have all the products, which is difficult. However, some clients are willing to let them use their makeup if they have specific preferences,” he said.

“When a client rejects your products, you may lose morale, wondering when you will have all those products.”

The artist says the best makeup products are expensive because different people have different skin types, and one has to know them all and what works best.

MAKEUP EMPIRES

In 2014, American makeup artist and YouTuber Jeffree Star started Jeffree Star Cosmetics.

Over the years, Star grew his makeup company to a multimillion-dollar empire with an estimated net worth of Sh7.5 billion.

His YouTube channel currently has 17.5 million subscribers with over 300 makeup reviews and tutorials.

Last year, Jeffree worked with fellow YouTuber Shane Dawson to release a makeup collection that sold out in hours.

Lava Lava denies WCB exit

For Francis, he hopes to resettle into the US and also grow his makeup empire.

“In five years, I want to own a beauty spa, a big beauty brand and be a makeup and beauty trainer,” he said.

He currently uses social media, Instagram and Facebook to do weekly promotions for about Sh500.

Despite challenges such as language barrier, competition and the expense, the market for beauty is friendly and welcoming.

“I would encourage more guys to get into the industry because men actually do it better and I have found ladies prefer being served by men,” he said. 

Other popular male makeup artists include Dennis Karuri (Kenya), Manny MUA (US) and James Charles (US).

Njeri Mbugua/The Star

No laughing matter! Why using someone’s meme may get you into trouble

An internet meme, or simply, a meme, can be defined as a humorous image, video, piece of text, etc., that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly through social media, or other media forums.

In more recent times, memes have evolved from simple images and texts to more elaborate things, such as challenges and viral trends. It is simply impossible to go anywhere nowadays without seeing some form of meme.

Kenyans have displayed their unmatched and immense creativity and skills (not to forget speed) in coming up with hilarious memes based on trending topics in the society, ranging from celebrities, politics to religion. The basic concept behind memes is that they are to be shared, and with sharing comes the concept of ‘going viral’, and with virality comes more likes, followers and subscribers, which can in turn generate revenue.

Memes are a form of creative expression, an expression of an idea. Under copyright law, once an idea is expressed into a tangible form, it is automatically protected by copyright. But does the Law really protect memes under copyright?

FLAWED FAME

Consider Scenario one: You as a content creator, aka ‘meme-lord’, spends hours working on a meme and someone later steals it after you upload it, deletes your watermark, and passes it off as their own on their page.

When you finally notice this, you send them a ‘DM’ or tweet, asking them to kindly take it down and refrain from stealing your content, only for them to respond, “Najua inauma, but, itabidi umezoea.”

Consider scenario two: You take an awkward selfie and it later finds its way to social media and goes viral. Your face is turned into the latest sensational meme in Kenya.

Despite the 15 minutes of fame and maybe 14 minutes of embarrassment the meme has brought you, you still feel you deserve much more than that, especially since that well-known telecommunications company reposted your image on their page and attached one of the products they sell in the same post.

Intellectual property jurisprudence has yet to entirely address these issues, which would seem non-trivial if not for the fact that such content nowadays can generate substantial revenue for content creators and corporates both directly and indirectly. However, some existing legal doctrines exist that may be applicable and are worth knowing to creative content creators.

Ben Pol paid “hundreds of cows” for Anerlisa’s dowry

A meme is a derivative work, meaning it’s based or imitates an original work. Usually, a copyright owner is the only party with the legal right to create a derivative work.

Sometimes the meme creator is also the image creator, but often, when involving pictures or images of celebrities or individuals, the image’s copyright is owned by someone else and under copyright law, only they have the exclusive rights of reproduction, modification, distribution, performance, and display. The viral spread of a meme infringes on these protections as the original image is modified and then displayed, distributed and reproduced when posted and reposted.

FAIR USE

However, within copyright law exists the doctrine of fair use, which allows for use of a copyrighted work in the creation of new work without permission, if the use fits within certain acceptable boundaries. Under copyright law, fair use will be satisfied if a content creator or any person uses the image for purposes of commentary, parody, satire, criticism, reporting or teaching. Considering the nature of memes, they would fall under fair use since most of them can be considered parodies, satire or even commentaries. This essentially protects meme creators from infringing on others’ copyrights.

Equally, when a meme lord overlays text on a photo that belongs to someone else or alters it in some way, they do not infringe on the copyright of the photo owner. This is because they have transformed the original nature of the initial photo, and this qualifies as fair use.

But someone who takes an already-created meme and posts it without any transformation is simply reposting — there is no commentary or criticism or parody.

Simple reposting adds no additional expression to an original work. Thus, for someone to avoid infringing on another’s photo when creating a meme, they must make a substantial transformation to the original photo. Adding a filter on an already existing photo and then imposing your watermark and claiming it as your own is not fair use and amounts to copyright infringement.

Additionally, when memes or the subjects of a meme are used for commercial purposes without permission, the meme creator may sue, as the effect of the commercial use on the market value of the original meme usually prevents a finding of fair use.

In this instance, if a corporate entity or an individual monetises your meme without your permission, you as the meme creator or owner of the photo can take legal action against them.

Memes make the world a better place. If you create or post one, remember to pay attention to the source of the image. Your best bet is to start with an image or clip that is already labelled for reuse or is in the public domain, meaning out of copyright protection altogether. When you see a meme going around, give a thought to the subject of that meme image, whose life may forever be changed.

Allan Tuli/The Star

The first jobs celebrities had before the fame: List

Looking at celebrities we sometimes assume that they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. But that is not always the case.

You have heard ‘kazi ni kazi’ and these celebrities took on that mantra to survive. They did what they had to do to reach where they are now.

  1. Otile Brown

Otile Brown was in the past used to help his mother sell changaa.

He is now a celebrated artiste so your past cannot determine your future.

In a past social media post,  Otile narrated how losing his mum affected his life.

Adding that sometime he would be frog-marched by police for selling illicit brews.

“Appreciate and love your mama…feeling kinda emotional tonight.

Wish she could be here so I can spoil her, My mom died when I was about to turn 13.

I don’t like talking about it but I don’t shy away from speaking about it because I know it could motivate someone.

Otile Brown

Sometimes when I would get caught, the officers would frog march me past the school compound where other children would see me. It was embarrassing didn’t like doing it but I had to survive,” 

Willy Paul

The ‘Jigi Jigi ‘ hitmaker used to work as a house help before fame came knocking. Contrary to back then when he used to be paid to work he is now the one who pays people to work for him.

Willy Paul
Willy Paul

Maina Kageni
Prominent radio personality Maina Kageni was in the past a truck driver in the United States. He has in the past shared how hard it was working under a boss who constantly called him a ni**a.

He is now a renowned MC and radio host with Classic 105.

“I was called a n*gga so many times and the sad thing is that there is nothing you can do about it because you need the job,” Maina said.

Maina Kageni

Mwalimu Churchill

Daniel Ndambuki, best known as the Godfather of comedy, used to work in Industrial Area where he used to wash bottles.

“I USED TO WORK IN INDUSTRIAL AREA WASHING BOTTLES AND I WOULD BE PAID PEANUTS. THE MONEY WASN’T ENOUGH FOR FOOD AND TRANSPORT. THINGS WERE NOT EASY BACK THEN,” CHURCHILL TOLD MPASHO.

churchill

Akothee

Akothee is currently living the life but that has not always been the case. In the past Akothee, a mother of five used to be a taxi driver.

Her efforts paid off and she is currently living the good life.

Akothee

Diamond Platnumz

He is considered the most celebrated artiste in Tanzania not only for his good music but also for his energetic performances, but 11 years ago Dangote was just a young man working at Shell petrol station.

Part of his work was refilling the Reserve tank from the fuel tanks.

Diamond Platnumz
Diamond Platnumz

Read more here

Fitness queen Jane Mukami’s 4 weight loss mistakes to avoid in 2020 

 

These four mistakes can sabotage your progress and so you must avoid them at all cost.

Jane Mukami wrote:

It’s the new year, you’re excited to bring you weight loss resolutions to life and elevate your se3y👙

Here are 4 mistakes that will keep you from getting frustrated and save you a lot of time and energy

1. Doing too much too fast – You plan to go to the gym 5 days a week, cut off carbs, intermittent fasting….and…and…the list of changes goes on and on. Slow down. The more the number of changes you make, the higher the chance that you will not succeed. Pareto’s 80/20 principle holds true – 80% of your results will come from 20% action. All you need to do is change 1 or 2 things and execute consistently. Doing too much too fast can lead to exhaustion and demotivation when results don’t happen.. Less is indeed more

2. Not eating enough can be counterproductive and go against your goal. Weight loss happens when you eat the right foods, in the right portions, at the right time, while providing adequate nourishment and creating a caloric deficit

3. Short term thinking – assuming that losing weight is a one time thing and that once goal is achieved you can go back to old habits. Successful weight loss requires a lifestyle change, hence method used needs to be sustainable.

janemukamipinktights

4. Setting unrealistic goals – Rome wasn’t built in a day just as you didn’t gain weight overnight. Find a sustainable solution that delivers results and be patient.

 

Also read more here
.

Sexual violence, pain behind teenage pregnancy

Nafula* (not her real name), 16, was raped by her 19-year-old boyfriend, who beat and dragged her to his house in Kakamega.The boyfriend capitalised on narrow village roads, tall vegetation and darkness when the sun was setting to take advantage of her.

“I didn’t want to have sex with him but he threatened to stab me. The man later surrendered to the police after I reported but was released three days later with no reason,” Nafula said.

Three weeks later, Nafula started experiencing nausea, dizziness, faintness, mood swings and morning sickness. The man, a boda boda rider, has kept off since 2017, when she gave birth.

“I didn’t go to the hospital or school until I gave birth,” she said.

Nafula is just one classic example among thousands of teenagers forced into motherhood through agonising experiences such as rape, defilement, intimidation and forced early marriage.

A report by civil society organisation Haki Jamii on ‘The right to education of pregnant girls’ and a series of interviews show that most victims failed to access medical attention and counselling, which leads to depression, health problems, lifetime psychological trauma, poverty or suicide.

“Many girls who have been defiled are at risk of serious health complications, stigma and discrimination,” Haki Jamii founder Pauline Vata said.

Vata said most vulnerable are girls from poor families.

SEXUAL VIOLENCE

Population Services International reproductive manager Joseph Mutweleli said sexual violence includes rape, defilement, early marriage, female genital mutilation, sexual exploitation and forced prostitution.

Mutweleli said 18 per cent of teenagers are victims of sexual violence hence already pregnant or mothers.

“Some communities force girls as young as 12 to get married. We have cases where people beat and force girls to do things they don’t know at their tender age,” Mutweli said.

A Kenya Legal and Ethical Issues Network (Kelin) report this year said adolescent mothers were experiencing extreme physical, sexual and mental health consequences.

These include unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, depression, trauma and anxiety.

Others are risky sexual behaviours, drugs and alcohol abuse, early marriage, early motherhood and unsafe abortion.

Child sexual exploitation and abuse, often committed by people whom victims know, often lead to early and unintended pregnancy.

Here are celebrities you didn’t know have teenage kids (List)

“Most cases we get happen within the family. But mothers often don’t report it because there’s a lot of fear about being stigmatised and getting divorced and being left,” Vata said.

Irene, whose daughter became pregnant, said she did not know she can report to police so the person who defiled her could be prosecuted.

Wanjiku* is part of the street families on River Road as a single mother after she was raped by a stranger she only knows by one name, Kama.

“He used to bring me food in the morning and I suspect he was from work. We could joke and play. One day he pulled me in that dark corridor (pointing) and forced me to have sex with him,” a teary Wanjiku narrates.

“And then we started enjoying sex frequently the following days.”

The light-skinned girl with black spots, who relies on well-wishers and dustbin contents to survive, said the tall, dark, composed and handsome man stopped passing by when she told him that her breasts have swollen and she was experiencing fatigue, vomiting and food cravings.

“Later I grew big and friends alerted me that I am pregnant. He was nowhere,” she said.

Wanjiku settled on the streets five years ago after her mother, the only parent she knew, was killed by robbers in Nakuru.

“I did not have a place to go since my close relatives didn’t even want to see me when my mother was still alive,” she said, sniffing her glue from one hand and holding her two-year-old light baby in the right hand.

“Men still take advantage of me since I am addicted to sex and I know I can get pregnant again or diseases,” she said.

Kelin warns that, “Sexual violence recognised as a public health and human rights issue is prevalent among adolescent girls.”

RIGHT TO EDUCATION

Josephine*, a pregnant girl who is lucky to remain in school, said she occasionally misses school because of tiredness.

“I want to carry on with education after I deliver because I want to be a science teacher. I’m afraid that after I deliver my mum will not support me to go back to school,” she said.

Mwende*, 15, said she missed out on three years of education after she got pregnant. Her classmate, Sharlene* (now 17), also missed out on two years of education.

Haki Jamii’s Vata said dropping out of school, and to a lesser extent having your education disrupted, means a girl cannot fully benefit from education.

“It affects a girl’s future, her ability to be independent, and it can push her into early marriage,” Vata said.

“For many girls who get pregnant, they feel shame because they believe they have done something wrong, even if the cause of their pregnancy is a form of sexual violence.”

The community regards teenage mothers’ parents as having failed when their daughters get pregnant at a tender age.

Emisiko said in 2017 she found out her daughter Muna* was seven months pregnant. Muna was so scared to tell her mother that she got her friend to do it for her. When Emisiko approached her daughter, the girl said she wanted to have an abortion but Emisiko refused.

Later, when Emisiko told her husband Muna was pregnant, he was upset and blamed Emisiko, telling her, “You’ve failed as a parent.”

The pregnancy caused such a massive rift between Emisiko and her husband that he refused to support the family and left for Nairobi, where he lives.

“We haven’t heard from him since,” Phelesa told Haki Jamii.

Adolescent mothers believe their teachers and schoolmates would treat them differently if they found out they were teenage mothers, which is true in most cases.

“I felt so ashamed. Everyone knew what had happened to me and I couldn’t face going back to school, despite pressure from everyone who knew me,” Nafula said.

Molested children really want to go back to school but stigma and lack of school fees pose a challenge.

“I have three friends who have all given birth, too, and they really encourage me to go back to school. But I have no one to help me look since my grandma is really busy with church,” Nafula said.

Nafula’s grandmother said she was heartbroken when she found out her granddaughter was pregnant.

“At first she wouldn’t tell me who did this to her but after being persistent, she eventually did. I actually feared to approach her since I was afraid she might commit suicide,” the grandmother said.

Vata said sexual violence victims often feel shame because of a belief that it is her own fault or because the sexual assault makes her a bad or damaged person.

This kind of a shame, although painfully felt as if it comes from within, is actually the product of stigmatisation.

“Girls blame themselves from their own vulnerability and victimhood and feel shamed,” Vata said.

Stigmatisation, which oftens leads to discrimination, can be so strong that sometimes family members turn a blind eye and make the decision not to report cases to the police.

“One of the key actions required to keep girls in schools is to dismantle harmful gender stereotypes and stigmatisation. It is believed that girls who have had sex, pregnant girls, and girls who have given birth are a ‘bad influence,” she said.

Most teachers want adolescent girls readmitted to school. However, there is no policy to support and protect adolescent mothers.

Only strong girls who accept the stigmatisation and the shame that comes along with it remain in school.

STRUGGLE TO RESUME STUDIES

“I got pregnant when I was 15. I ran away from home to be with my boyfriend [then 17].’ ‘He promised to get me a job,” Atieno* said in a Hakii Jamii report.

“When I left home to Kitale, there was no job and I was made to stay at home,” she said.

She ran away after staying home for five months and got a job as a house cleaner in Nyeri, where she gave birth to her daughter.

Her employer helped her take care of the baby but she knew this wasn’t a permanent solution. She reached out to her father, with whom she didn’t have a great relationship, who asked her to come back home so that he takes Atieno back to school.

She made it home just as the child’s teeth were coming through, which in the culture is a very important tradition.

“But my father got seriously ill and all the family’s money went towards paying his hospital bills, hence he failed to fulfil his promise of taking me to school,” she said.

He died, leaving her and her mother to look after the baby.

Jezebel* was lucky to access the government bursary and go back to school three years after she dropped out.

Grace Sande, a women’s rights activist and secretary at Pamazuko, said she knows a 16-year-old girl who was defiled by an older married man before she got married as a second wife.

“The girl in return gets food for living with him. When I asked the mother what happened, she accused me of being jealous. I reported the man to the local administration but he compromised them and he is free now,” Grace said.

Sande reported to police a case of a 15-year-old raped by her father after the mother travelled to Nairobi in search of a job.

“I took the girl to hospital but when they got back to the house, the father, 28, a mason, was not prosecuted. After a year of being married, she gave birth to a boy on April 22, 2019,” Grace told Haki Jamii.

By Imende Benjamin/The Star

6 ways to deal with group bills in the bar or restaurant

 

I had a friend who would order the most expensive item on the menu because she knew we were splitting the bill.

If one person orders more expensive drinks and food, should he or she pay more or split the bill with others?

Is MC Jessy Betty Kyallo’s mystery ‘Somali guy’?

This is a discussion that has generated heated debate on social media with many giving their personal experiences.

Here are some tips on how to handle the situation.

fatty foods 2
– Tell them in advance

Be clear with your friends that you can’t split the bill, and you will only pay what you ate and drank.

– Make the invitation very clear

When inviting someone out, make it clear if you are the one footing the bill, or it will be a group effort.

– Be considerate of others’ financial situation

Nothing is as agonizing as joining friends in a restaurant or bar you can’t afford.

– Decide on how bills will be paid before and tell the waiter/waitress so it is easier for them when processing the bill

– Each person pays for exactly what they ordered, and especially in large groups.

– Take turns

I like the idea of taking turns to pay the bills when we go out.

Favour! Dr. Ofweneke welcomes baby girl with new partner (photo)

Here are some comments from social media:

@Mwanikih..
Hi, teetotaler here. Now, I order soda for a 100 bob and you want me to split a bill with someone who downed a 5000 bob whisky? Are you drunk?
@sianfergs..
The only reason why you’d be upset if people who pay for what they ate is if you want them to contribute more than necessary. In other words, it’s actually you who wanted to pay less. So you are actually the cheapskate.
@KayGeeGirl2..
I’m a cheapskate and it works for me. Our pallets are not the same and I afford what I order and I will not be bullied to pay a steak when I ordered a chicken. Andizi…I stay in my financial lane and I’ll tick what I ordered and include tip too
@Rea411..
Some of us don’t pay for other people’s expensive taste. It’s restaurant bill not a community of property agreement. Pay for what you eat and drink. It’s not being a cheapskate it’s being financially responsible. Imagine footing a bill for a a champopo I don’t drink?

Woman finds boyfriends secret wedding invitation cards under mattress

@magwazam1..
Freeloaders want to eat prawn starters and rump steak and split the bill with someone who had the salad. We see you!

Alcohol
Alcohol. photo credit: CBC.ca

@KMakgalane…
If you are out with your real ones this shouldn’t even be an issue. Everybody pays for what they have consumed, nothing about this classifieds anyone a cheapskate, its literally common sense.

Also read more here

 

Ok We Get It We’re Poor: Kim Kardashian shows off walk in Fridge

 

 

The KKW beauty products founder took fans on a tour of her massive kitchen.

The tour started in her minimalist pantry, which is full of glass jars because — as she said multiple times in her video — her family got rid of all of their plastic jars and water bottles in an effort to be more environmentally friendly.

Kardashian went on to reveal that she stocks many types of milk and water because each family member has their preference.

“All my kids use a different kind of milk,” she said while giving the tour. “That’s all that’s in this fridge.”

Her main walk-in refrigerator in her over-the-top, industrial-style kitchen.

“Guys, I have a walk-in refrigerator where we keep all of our fresh, organic produce,” she said while showing off shelves and shelves of food. “We are building on the property all organic trees to grow our own vegetables and grow all of our own stuff.”

The video has gone viral and fans have alot to say about how poor they now feel.

@mCkeiee..
“Walk in refrigerator” Lord! Kim makes me feel poorer and poorer with every passing day. This is goals fr.

@xohaams..
I lost in when she said WALK IN REFRIGERATOR … excuse me come again 🤯

@ebonyheavenly_..
omm idgaf what y’all saying about her this is goalsssssssss. What a major flex Jesus…

@ssexton1976…
Gesh. Freakin’ rich people… can’t imagine what it costs to power that menagerie of refrigeration units. So much for conservation…

@marcthefuture..
Okay Kim we get it, we’re poor

Also read more here

Fashion Police: Kenyans speak on strict dress code experiences in Tanzania

Back in 2018, Tanzanian songstress Vanessa Mdee let it be known that she was barred from entering a government office all because of a skimpy skirt.

She wrote of the humiliating experience on Twitter

” Only in Tanzania is my skirt which is at my knees too short to enter a public corporate building. This is incredible”

 Vanessa further revealed she was asked to tie a kanga to access the building to which she added
             “Wameniuliza eti ‘una khanga’ FOH”
Several Kenyans have taken to Twitter to also narrate their most humiliating experience in Tanzania that has left a bitter taste in their mouths.
The discussion was prompted by a confession by the Twitter user below, who warned Kenyans girls to dress accordingly
short clothes tnzania
Many say though it is not all parts of Tanzania where a woman will be ridiculed for her choice of outfit, skimpy outfits are frowned upon.
@writinflo..
Yeah…I mean when we went we were shouted at an some people even refused to sell to us. Just above the knee dresses and skirts 😄@SonnieRox..
Was kicked out of a govt office for a dress that was just above my knees

@sharlirungu..
🤣 This is true, if I wasn’t with my parents I would’ve been jailed hata…

@t_cieloh..
The only bad thing about Tz is this

You can actually be arrested 😭- As a short clothes wearer I felt it 😭

@valswayz..
I was in Dar for a wedding when i was asked to go back change from from my short dress, or either cover myself with a leso before they could let me into the church. I chose to go and change.

@Wa_Mutemi..
Mine wasn’t that short even, And they were like, “tazameni huyu dad’s kavaa nini” so loud, they all turned to stare at me😥

@JanepherGero..
So…men even have the guts to follow and touch you while threatening to strip you naked!!

Women will shout at the back like “motto wa kike jiheshimu”
“Hamna mwanaume atakayekuoa!”
“Unadanga/unajiuza”

It’s so scary being free in Tanzania.

@Karwaay..
Can’t relate. Lol. Seriously though, inategemea na kule uko. Sokoni I cover up. The mall, I don’t. I get stares, but that’s all. Whites get away with anything though.

@flobomett..
The comments my friend and I got in kariokor because of our “short skirts” was irritating damn but in masaki where we were staying no one seemed to mind, also thank you for your inspiration, I did a solo trip to Zanzibar and it was all sorts of amazeballs!

@Kingchrisotieno..
The Brothers in Dar es Salaam also thought my Beach shorts were too short for comfort 😂😂😂.
Someone straight up asked why I was walking around in boxers. 😣😣

@NkathaDee..
Lol. Ikr! Had an experience where a whole street just stood and stared at me in amusement of my short dress.

@Mwotweets..
People were staring at me for wearing a sleeveless top. Do wazungu have the same experience?

@skmathenge..
So that’s why I got weird looks from immigration and traffic cops with my shorts on a road trip to Dar via Namanga & Moshi – I was dressed for comfort & didn’t think much about it. Wife also got a few stares in Dar with her sleevless dress (and it was so hot & humid)!

@JusG_G..
I was there in 2012 and got really rude stares for wearing shorts in the market until one guy suggested I get a Kitenge (zambia/cloth to cover around my waist). I will never forget how angry those men looked

 

Esther Passaris shares post surgery video, reveals diagnosis

 

Nairobi Woman rep Esther Passaris has spoken candidly about her health status before ringing in the New Year.

The mother of two revealed that she flew to India during the festive season for surgery.

The 55-year-old politician said of the shock ordeal: ‘I thank God for the Gift of Life, my family for their unconditional love and everyone who whispered a word of prayer as I went in..’

She has posted a video of herself being attended to by a doctor in hospital, along with a hopeful message. A photo also shows her on a hospital bed with a respirator mask on her face (below)

passaris surgery in india

Passaris is seen in the video undergoing a post surgery consultation with a surgeon while walking around.

Audio from the video includes the doctor telling her, ‘You are doing 100 per cent better and you look more relaxed now.’

Passaris has not spoken on the record about the condition before, and there has been no further comment about it, only about confronting ups and downs.

She wrote

2019 was not short of ups and downs; from job losses to loved ones transitioning, many amongst us are currently unwell or struggling to make ends meet, but all in all, we give thanks for the blessing of a new year and for the promises it holds

Also read more here

Love knows no boundaries! Government’s requirements to marrying a foreigner

Marrying a foreigner has now been made easier. Kenyans can now mingle with zero stress. According to an official government document, an ID and a passport are some of the few requirements.

Below are the requirements for marrying the foreigner love of your life.

Top 7 reasons why Kenyan women do not accompany their men to ‘shags’

Men, Listen Up! These Are The Clothes Women Find SEXIEST On You…

How slay queen’s lure sponsors into funding their luxurious lifestyles

More and more young women are using sugar daddies (or, as they’re more commonly known, ‘sponsors’) to fund a lifestyle worth posting on social media.

“Sponsor” relationships seem to have become both more common and more visible. What once was hidden is now out in the open, on campuses, in bars and all over Instagram.

We have arrived at a point where having a “sponsor” or a “blesser” — the terms millennials usually apply to their benefactors — has for many young people become an accepted and even glamorous lifestyle choice.

Through the stories of three women, the Star explores the social forces driving this trend.

CAREER AMBITIONS

“Right now, the a** is the new brain and this is what you use to get what you want,” says single mother Grace Njeri*, 25, who has a regular sponsor.

Njeri says she is actively seeking a more lucrative relationship with a man who will invest in her career as a singer.

“I am poor, often living hand-to-mouth, dancing for cash in a nightclub, and struggling to put my daughter through school. But I’m determined to feed and educate my child. I want to become rich and famous through modelling and music,” she says.

She says the economy makes it so much harder for a smaller person to make ends meet.

“Hard work won’t get you anywhere. You have to get a sponsor, rob a bank or win a tender,” she says.

SOCIALITE INFLUENCE

“If I look hot, I look good. There has got to be some rich guy who will pay good money to possess me,” says Jane, 20.

Jane, an undergraduate who readily admits to having two sponsors, sees nothing shameful in such relationships — they are just part of the everyday hustle it takes to survive in Nairobi, she says.

She is inspired by Kenya’s celebrity “socialites”, women who have transformed s3x appeal into wealth, becoming stars of social media.

In the past, some of Kenya’s socialites have styled themselves as #SlayQueens and have been quite upfront about the financial benefits that have come from dating tycoons.

Having made it to the top, though, they often begin to cultivate a different image, presenting themselves as independent, self-made businesswomen and encouraging girls to work hard and stay in school.

Jane, however, says she admires socialite Vera Sidika, who went from dancing in music videos on to the set of the Nairobi Diaries, and from there launched a business career based on her fame and physique.

FINANCIAL GAIN

“I used the remaining Sh100 I had in my wallet and took a bus to the city centre, to look for the first man who would pay to have sex with me,” Machakos University student Mary Wambui*, 19, confesses.

Most of the times she sat in her tiny room in shared quarters in Kitengela, feeling broke, hungry and desperate.

But that day, Wambui went back to Kitengela with Sh1,000 to feed herself for the rest of the month.

She says she loved that life and instead of sleeping with random guys for money, she opted for a sponsor.

“Six years ago, I met a married man nearly 40 years my senior. At first, I received just groceries. Then it was trips to the salon,” she says.

“Two years into our relationship, the man moved me into a new apartment because he wanted me to be more comfortable.”

Another two years down the line, the sponsor gave her a plot of land in Nyeri county as a show of commitment.

In exchange, he gets to sleep with Wambui whenever he feels like it.

“I am young and beautiful, so why not use my youthfulness to my benefit.”

“After all, what is wrong about sex, anyway?” asks Wambui . “People just make it sound wrong. But sometimes, it ain’t wrong at all.”

But as most of those dependent on sugar relationships are female, they have dominated the public debate. There are concerns about the morality of their lifestyle, but also about its consequences for their health.

Kerubo*, 27, from Kisii, says she has control of her relationship with her sugar daddy, Alfred. But when I ask her about safe sex, this illusion quickly evaporates.

Both Alfred and her other sponsor, James, prefer not to use condoms, she says. In fact, she has had unprotected sex with multiple sugar daddies, who then have sex with other women, as well as with their wives, exposing all of these partners to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

Kerubo, the aspiring singer struggling to put food on the table, has a slightly different perspective. To her, the similarities with sex work are more apparent.

“I prefer the sponsor thing, rather than standing on the street,” she says. “Because you have that one person who is supporting you… you don’t need to sleep with so many men.”

The names have been changed for protection purposes.

“My body is my business – and it is a money maker,” she said back in 2014, when discussing her controversial skin-lightening procedures.

Nowadays, Vera is keen to promote herself as an entrepreneur, and runs a successful brand of “detox” herbal infusions called Veetox Tea.
Equally famous is model and socialite Huddah Monroe, who also rose to fame on reality TV — in her case, Big Brother Africa, in 2013. She now runs a well-established line of cosmetics.

“If you have to expose your body, make money out of it,” she was reported as saying, referring to the semi-nude images she shows off to her 1.6 million Instagram followers.

Socialite Bridget Achieng’ raised and born in Kibera now a business woman
Socialite Bridget Achieng is a woman from the sprawling Nairobi slum of Kibera. She worked as a domestic servant (house girl) but gained a social media following on the back of a sexy photoshoot, and then found her way into the cast of Nairobi Diaries.

Her message to aspiring socialites, though, is that nothing is free. “You want a million bucks, you will do something that is worth a million bucks,” she said.

‘He forced me to eat his poop,’ Ex slay queen narrates horrible experience with sponsors
MEN ALSO VICTIMS

George Meiu, who studies transactional relationships between Samburu men and older European women, has described how their youth and good looks have become valuable commodities in Kenya’s beach resorts.

Thanks to a set of “African warrior” stereotypes and myths about tribal sexual prowess, the Samburu and others like them are particularly appealing to local and foreign sugar mummies.

Some Samburu villages, he says, claim they have been unable to defend themselves against cattle raids from neighbouring tribes because so many young men have migrated to the coast to become beach boys.

“A beach boy is someone who gets up in the morning, smokes a joint, lies under a coconut tree, waiting for bikini-clad white woman to pass by and run after them,” Meui says.

Bae, sponsor or fossil! How to identify the kind of man you are dating

Medical researcher Joyce Wundani says girls and young women between the ages of 15 and 24 have consistently been at higher risk of HIV infection than any other section of the population in sub-Saharan Africa.

Sugar relationships, she says, are contributing to these risks because the women who engage in them do not have the power to insist on the use of condoms. “With sex work, men are more likely to use condoms because it’s more explicit than this is selling and buying.”

The Star/LYNDSAY NYAWIRA

Tips that will motivate you back to work after holidays

The festive season is over, You just got back from days of complete relaxation, socializing, celebrating with roast dinners and vacations.But now you’re back to reality and struggling to marshall the strength to turn on the computer, trudge through your inbox, and jump right back into your normal work routine.

Going back to work after a nice holiday will always make you feel sad. It’s been scientifically proven that getting back into our routine can lead to sluggishness and demotivation.

Here are some of the ways to help you deal with the post-holiday blues and maintain a work-life balance

Keep Festive season spirit alive

I don’t mean you start spiking your morning coffee. This is all about trying to keep the feeling of togetherness and joy alive while your management gives targets for the new year.

The first step to dealing with this rather grey mood is to embrace it. Understand that it’s okay to feel sad and accept that the first couple of days back in your daily routine will be difficult.

On your first day at work, you can bring a useful Christmas gift could be a new diary that’ll make you smile when you use it. Or maybe you had some good news over the festive break that you can share with your colleagues

Get to the office earlier than usual

After holidays there is too much work to catch up on the first week after resuming office.

It is advisable to arrive at the office early,spend a good chunk of your morning planning your work.

Prioritise on urgent tasks and also throw in a few tasks you enjoy doing as well because this will give you nice little breaks and make your day more enjoyable.

Set new goals

It is a new year, go back to work with new goals. Walk into the office with a new mindset.

Identify an area in your sector that you’d like to master and go back to work knowing that you have a challenge ahead of you.

Types of colleagues that exist in every workplace

This helps from getting bored at work as you shall have something new to learn and achieve.

Catch up with colleagues

No doubt you’d rather be spending your entire day with your friends rather than your colleagues.

But, getting along with your office workmates can significantly improve your overall work experience, it’s advisable that you do what you can do get along with them.

BY Lyndsay Nyawira

‘I miss prison,’ confesses former inmate

Hours before a Machakos court was to decide his fate on a defilement charge, Calvin Yogo saw his two children off to school in Kitengela. He gave one money to a school trip and told them all he loved them.

“I’ll see you later,” Calvin said.

He made that promise on February 27, 2012, the day the jury convicted him.

Yogo repeated the promise four months later after he was sentenced to 15 years imprisonment at Kamiti prison, even though it seemed futile.

“I was sentenced to serve 15 years in prison. I was 25 years at the time. It felt like I would age in prison. I wouldn’t recognise my children when I was out,” Yogo says.

After nearly five years behind bars, he finally fulfilled it. Yogo was released after an appeal but since his release, he has struggled to get by.

“I was released in Jan 2017 after a lengthy costly appeal. I miss prison. In as much as I hoped for freedom. I would want to go back there,” he said.

Sleeping on shared, tattered mattresses, the prison halls are squalid and packed with dozens of people, the smell of urine lingers in the humid, stifling air.

Kenyan prisons are tough places to live.

 Day after day, year after year, imagine having no space to call your own, no choice over who to be with, what to eat, or where to go.

Threats and suspicions are everywhere. Love or even a gentle human touch can be difficult to find. You are separated from family and friends.

If they are to cope, then prisoners confined to this kind of environment have no option but to change and adapt.

But for some ex-inmates interviewed by the Star prison is like paradise.

Do Kenyan Prisons prepare convicts to rejoin society?

SCARRED FOR LIFE

For Yogo before his conviction, he was an established disc jockey in Utawala, Nairobi.

He usually earned around Sh50,000 a night.

“I worked From Saturday to Sunday making Sh150,000 a week,” he said.

Yogo in 2017 returned to unfamiliar scenes, his equipment was stolen. He survived on odd jobs to save up and buy new equipment.

In 2018 he raised money and bought new equipment but he couldn’t get a job.

“Employers judged me after serving time in prison. They treated me like a criminal. I miss prison this discrimination is real,” he says.

REJECTED BY FAMILY

Francis Mutuku in 2013 raped his grandmother an act he now regrets and describes hideous.

“I was under the influence of alcohol. I did not fathom my action. My grandmother was my best friend, “Mutuku confessed.

His grandmother,91, later died on arrival at the hospital.

He served his sentence at Kamiti prison and in 2017 he was released.

His life has never been easy, family and friends do not want to see him.

Despite him saying prison life has changed him, nobody wants to be associated with him.

“My family chased me from home. I am homeless, they even threatened to kill me,” he says.

He now leaves with fear that he might end up killed one day.

In prison, he says he is safe and he never feared for his life.

“After a few months in prison, you adapt. I don’t know who I am anymore. What is left of me is an empty shell,” he says.

NO JOBS 

Peter Nzau was released from prison in May 2019 after finishing his sentence.

Nzau was charged with murder charges in 2012, he murdered his brother.

“I served my sentence at Kitengela prisons. Through the rehabilitation programs, my behaviour changed. I am a changed man,” he said.

Nzau while serving his term in prison finished his course in carpentry and pastoral program.

He, however, cannot get a job.

“I was written off, employers cannot trust me. I am suffering out here. I have to sleep hungry which never happened while I was n prison,” he says.

REPEAT OFFENDERS

Kitengela Social Welfare officer Patrick Marindanyi says if ex-inmates are not welcomed by the society they turn back to crimes.

“Reintegration back to the society is very imp0rtant to ex-inmates who have finished their sentence lest they will turn to crimes,” he said.

Marindanyi cites an example of a man who was released from prison only for his family to chase him out to the streets.

The man turned to crimes to get food, money to survive.

“Having repeat offenders is very discouraging. It wipes out the rehabilitation programs taught to them, it leads to overcrowding,” he said.

Prisons have a population of over 57,000 (both convicted and remandees).

There are 105 prison institutions under the Kenya Prison Service for adults across Kenya, of which 87 prisons are for men.

Imprisonment rate 121/100,000 of the population is the 17th highest imprisonment rate in Africa.

Of the total 57,000, 18 per cent are women. Women on remand ranged in age from 16 to 75, with the median age being 29.

From Uji Wimbi to Ugali Beans: Here are meals Jowie is eating while cooling his heels in prison

Some three per cent of women are under the age of 18.

Women are highly likely (49 per cent) to be held in relation to violent offences, which include assaults, kidnapping, manslaughter, and robbery with violence, as well as infanticide and murder.

The data is based on the latest audit by The National Council on Administration of Justice.

The ages of men on remand ranged from 13 to 74. The median age is 28.

Some five per cent of men held on remand were under the age of 18, amounting to 427 children.

The largest category among men on remand is also violent offences, at 32 per cent. Amongst violent offences, murder comprises 49 per cent.

Property offences comprise 27 per cent and sexual offences 16 per cent, while offences against the state (excluding drugs) comprise 6 per cent.

By Lyndsay Nyawira

Common things that disrupts order in the office

When it comes to disruption within an organisation, the biggest danger isn’t necessarily external – it’s often the destructive ways that take place within the work environment.

Have you ever wondered about how disruptive heels, make-up, food, fashion among others can be at the workplace?

Well, this is the reason why they can cause disruption.

HEELS

As we arrive at work by 8 am latest by 9 am, there is that one colleague who always keeps on coming late to work with an intention to disrupt our work.

By 10 am, we hear  “Click, Clack” “Click, Clack “. So we raise our heads to see the person who is entering the office with that kind of noise.

Alas! it is our very own Betty Atieno*. Looking at her walk in her red stilettos leaves me wondering about how she can walk with that kind of noise in the office.

Depending on the speed and force of the person walking, these sounds could indicate a sense of authority, anger or hesitation.

In most cases, sharp-pointed heels fill a room with a womanly aura or a misanthropic vibe.

Whether intended or not, these shoes are sure to get the wearer attention.

 MAKE-UP

These are cosmetics such as lipstick or powder applied to the face and used to enhance or alter the appearance of a person.

Generally, around 90 per cent of women apply makeup. Research shows there are two primary reasons why women wear makeup.

One of them is to camouflageWomen who are anxious and insecure tend to use makeup to appear less noticeable.

Seduction

Women who want to be noticeably more attractive tend to use makeup to be more confident, sociable and assertive.

But then too much makeup can lead to a digression of ideas at the workplace.

When you sit down one on one with a female worker who has overdone her make up, in most cases, work will not proceed as planned.

Instead of discussing a topical issue, in your mind, you will be asking questions like “why do you have such a heavy make up on your face? Can I give you tissue so that you can wipe it off, Do you think you are now beautiful?”

Though it increases people’s perceptions of a woman’s likability and competence, overdoing it erases all these perceptions.

A makeup expert June Nyambura Njiru tells the Star that makeup should ideally not cause any disruptions at work.

“…unless you’re busy powdering your face instead of submitting your work,” she says amid concern.

Noting that makeup is used to complement one’s beauty or appearance, Njiru says that a person will know she has overdone it when she looks different from her skin tone.

“That is why it’s usually advisable you apply less then you can add depending on what you want to achieve,” she says.

Njiru notes that women apply makeup depending on what they want to achieve.

“News anchors apply makeup for screen purposes so that to remove the shine and to look smooth also applies to video vixens and photo shoots,” she said.

“Some women have gone through a rough patch, for example, the abused maybe someone got burnt so they use it to hide scars.”

She said that some women use to please their men while others have self-esteem issues.

“So they use it to comfort themselves. Some like us are makeup artists so we need to sell what we do,” Njiru adds.

TIPS:

Makeup should not really define who you are instead it should complement and not complete you.

 Be mindful of the impression you want to make and focus on using makeup to enhance your natural beauty and not cause disruption.

FOOD

“Linda amekam!, ee amekam! Joh emefika? ee!  huskii harufu ya food? (Linda has arrived! Yes she has arrived! You cannot smell the food?”

This is how employees at a typical newsroom respond when they sense the smell of food around them at around lunchtime.

Our sense of smell is key to the enjoyment of food, so it may be no surprise that people react to such smells when food is brought to their doors in the office.

When you want to know that food is a disruption, at around 12.40 pm, Linda* brings her sumptuous meal to the office.

The aroma from her variety of food greets the office with many who are concentrating left mouth-watering.

After five minutes, even those who were busy with what they were working on, leave their seats to go and grab the food from Linda and Joe*.

What if the food was not being brought to the office, would the employee leave his or her work to go eat by 1 pm?

Your answer will probably be yes or no depending on your personality and schedule.

Food expert Hosea Kandagor tells the Star that companies should have a cafeteria where they eat their foods.

“You need to have designated areas where employees eat. Without this, anybody eating inside the office or food taken to the office will always make people shift their focus to food and not work,” he said.

Kandagor says etiquette from staff is also highly recommended.

“You cant start eating at 12 pm at your desk and yet people are working. What if the soup pours on your laptop? You will also be making people want to eat your food,” he said.

FASHION

Most organisations have policies on how their employees need to be dressed when they go to work.

In most cases this is to ensure safety standards or maintain a specific image of the company.

Dress codes represent the ‘collective selection’ that we wear for different ‘spirits of the time’ as described by Encyclopedia.com.

But when given the opportunity to wear anything that suits an individual, people usually go for all manner of dressing.

Based on a 2015 study, researchers found that those who dress formally are more likely to be seen as intelligent, feel more powerful, create better relationships within the workplace, and make better decisions.

What about those who dress casually but do it in a manner that is disruptive?

A good example is that of a woman coming into the office wearing a yellow off-shoulder blouse with green sweat pants coupled with red stiletto heels.

‘My wife dumped our 6 month old baby in my office’ Cries city man

It might be fashion but alas! She will be the first person I will spot while she comes into the office, why? Because the colours she is wearing are ‘shouting’

Your clothes selection is a prime example of indirect communication, as fashion can make or break a first impression.

TIPS

When choosing what to wear, remember to match the formality and style of those with whom you are meeting.

If you’re uncertain, it’s better to dress up than down. 

These are some of the tips for women; Pressed button-up shirt, Slacks or knee-length skirts, mild-colour or neutral dresses, non-oversized jewellery and light makeup, Low heel shoes, Casual Fridays: neat jeans or skirt and a blouse.

Tips for men at work; tucked in polos and button-up shirts, Slacks with a belt, Closed-toe and polished shoes, Well-groomed facial hair that follows work standards, Casual Fridays: neat jeans and a shirt without design.

Basically, fashion is an ever-evolving, context-specific, and highly-personal thing.

Again, this depends on your taste!

Nancy Agutu/The Star

Places to find rich Kenyan men

Nairobi women stand up! Rich men are all over town nowadays. But it seems hard for slay queens to find rich, classy young men. Studies reveal that women are more likely to find men attractive if they think they have a bulging wallet.

Are you that woman who is looking to find a young classy and rich Kenyan man? We gat you.

Here are some of the easily accessible places you can find your dream man.

Polo in Karen

It is the oldest polo club in East Africa. This is where you meet the rich of the rich. I mean the boujee. Go dressed up and have some coins to keep yourself busy as you wait for him to come say “Hi”.

The Rhino Charge

I understand you might not have a car but this is an off-road 4×4 competition where you can watch as you look good in the sun. The entrants are required to visit 13 points (guard posts) scattered over approximately 100 km² of rough terrain within a 10 hour period.

Here you need to have the energy, dress appropriately and please my girl, show some interest in nature. Go for it!

Karen residents fun day

You don’t have to leave Nairobi to get these men. They are right under your nose. One of these days, just decide and go for a Karen residence fun day. Spot him, so go ahead and start chatting up with the guys. Of course, dress your best, because first impressions are very important.

I borrow money to show off I’m rich like Maina Kageni

Sankara Rooftop

The pool and club at the rooftop have provided a posh place where rich youngins go to have fun. Probably one of these days when you’re hanging out there you will find the one you are looking for. Hope you are a keeper!

Brew Bistro

For this, make sure you save some money to get at least a beer in their casual and fine dining setting. They also have a private lounge and terrace for events. That’s it my girl.

 

I borrow money to show off I’m rich like Maina Kageni

 

A Kenyan man has been closely following Classic’s Maina Kagenis lifestyle, with awe.

He is so impressed with Mainas rich lifestyle that he has decided to go into debt to have the same experiences.

The man confessed to Maina that, ‘You think I don’t want to live like you? You are showing us that you enjoy the life because you have money, because you have a good job, I’m a hustler i want the same thing so I borrow’ 

He explained another reason for living the lifestyle he can’t afford is also to make his extravagant girlfriend happy.

‘I will take loans even if I can’t afford to repay. 

I am a hustler but I can borrow and take a beautiful lady somewhere I make her enjoy. You know what, I have an expensive girl, I can’t take her to local clubs int he neighborhood, so I need to do something big and flashy to make her happy. I don’t want to embarrass her, so lazima nikope I take her there, to enjoy and God will help me to pay the bills,

rich-woman

This confession came from a morning discussion where Maina quoted an article on the Standard that suggested Kenyan men between the age of 25 and 40 have 4 outstanding mobile app loans, brought on by a desire for a flashy lifestyle.

Another man told Maina about getting into debt that

I would rather be blacklisted by CRB, but not by my women for failing to meet her financial needs. Mwanaume kamili ni deni, he finishes off his thoughts

Dear Classic 105 fam, what is your excuse for being trapped into debt by these mobile loan lending apps?

Also read more here

Kenyan man, 31, confesses addiction to the blue pill to impress girlfriend

Court of Appeal Judge Prof Otieno Odek collapsed and died in his Milimani home in Kisumu.

Police say they found blue pills on his bedside. While it’s not confirmed his death was as a result of the medication, investigations into the cause of death have been launched.

This formed the basis of the Tuesday conversation where Mwalimu said men are under pressure by their women to perform.

A young man called in saying he desperately wants to wean off the blue pill but knows his lady may dump him for failing to match up.

‘I’m stuck and can’t let go’

The man first tried the pill in response to the demands of his girl. He wanted to impress her with his skills, but unfortunately couldn’t match up without a little help from medicine.

at the age of 31 I was diagnosed with hypertension.My doctors have been pleading with me to stop using, but I can’t let go because they say it might be one of my causes for the disease cause of blue pills

The fear of disappointing her led him to a chemist.

From then on, the man said things progressed until he became addicted to the pills – taking them every time he was with his woman – which given his desire to show off his skills was quite frequently.

I am on hyertension drugs na bado nameza the blue pills coz I set a standard, coz it gets to a point I can’t let go. I set a standard to my women I can’t let go. I met another doctor who advised I let go for a month, then I use again, it’s very bad, how do I stop using the blue pill and the standard is set?

 

Many doctors warn that while Viagra is a very safe drug that can help many men and save marriages, taking any medication when it hasn’t been prescribed by a doctor and isn’t necessary comes with risks and side effects.

Dear Classic 105 fam, have you resorted to using the pill and what has been your experience?

Also read more here