Kachai to showing up late: Here are typical Kenyan traits

I’m a proud Kenyan, not for the good things the country has to offer but I’m part of the larger mass that are defined by their peculiar habits. As a patriotic Kenyan, you must possess the following traits:

Fascinating reasons why Kenyans don’t read widely

1. Kachai

Leave alone the kachai we give the cops. This one is different. We have a culture of dishing out “kitu kidogo when someone does us a favor regardless on how small it is. Money is a way of saying thank you.

kakitu

The problem is giving a satisfactory amount to the recipient. How many times have you asked someone, “sasa unataka ngapi aki?” and they shyly said “niko tu sawa” but in their eyes you read otherwise.

2. Lateness

Most of us are guilty as charged. Kenyans have a difficult time observing time. We are busy doing nothing only to realize time is not on our side and rush to our planned destination.

saa

Not once nor twice have I seen someone show up late with an unapologetic face. We are not bothered with this as it’s basically an African issue and aren’t we part of Africa?

3. Deadline rush

From filling taxes to attending to assignment at the 11th hour, this is another vice we are struggling with as a nation. Remember Huduma number? Matiangi had to add an extra week after cries from the public who had not yet registered. During voter registration exercise, the government is always forced to add extra days as Kenyans rush to beat the deadline. Are we too busy or are we just a reluctant lot?

Here are reasons why Kenyans still find it hard to hit the gym

4. Bargaining excessively

Wakenya na kubargain, Yawa! We bargain on everything. The rule of the game has it that when a Kenyan hears the price of a product, they divide it by two and start bargaining from there. This is one of the traits traders have to deal with. We are also known for trashing a product we have eyes on to avoid the seller from hiking its price once they know we have deep interest.

Read more:

 

Here are ways Chinese bosses discipline their employees worldwide

 

Violent “discipline” meted out by Chinese supervisors in Kenya formed the basis of the Classic 105 debate on Monday morning February 10.

Cases of Chinese bosses smacking their employees for ‘failing’ is not news, according to the horrifying accounts of many callers.

In Kenya this past weekend, K24 news shared a video of a Chinese restaurant owner giving his Kenyan employee a gruesome beating with a wire, for showing up late to work.

Maina Kageni asked listeners to give their take on what went through their minds, watching the clip.

‘In the video, the Chinese guy is telling the guy to kaa vizuri, and apparently that is normal practice at that restaurant,’ Maina added.

Kenyans were outraged, calling for the arrest and deportation of the man. The Chinese individual it turns out did not have a work permit, and was swiftly carried away with three other Chines men working as chefs, without legal documents.

Four Chinese nationals arrested after viral video of beating of Kenyan man 

Here is a list of terrible and humiliating things Chinese bosses have put workers through:
1. In October 2015, employees were forced to crawl on their hands and knees around a lake after missing their sales targets.

Employees were told to finish a lap around Ruyi Lake, a 23-acre lagoon in the city’s central business district, by crawling.

According to eyewitnesses, nearly everyone’s shirts and trousers were torn during the humiliating punishment.

I am not giving birth again, Kate Actress tells husband

2. A video in 2016, emerged on Chinese social network Weibo of a group of employees from Changzhi Rural Commercial Bank being publicly spanked for poor work performance in Shanxi, China.

According to reports, the video shows the boss of Shanxi Changzhi Zhangze Agricultural and Commercial Bank hitting eight employees – four men and four women – while other colleagues are seated at tables.

Users reacted angrily to the video, expressing their disgust with this action.

Footage showed the boss beating some employees with a stick, and according to reports, the employees had not been ‘working hard enough’.

The man speaks with them on stage before he begins the attack with what appears to be a giant stick.

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3. Boss slaps a lineup of ‘bad’ employees in 2016.

In 2016, a video of a chines employer slapping his workers for performing poorly went viral.

4. Chinese bosses beat up employee for refusing to use own phone for work in Zimbabwe

In 2018, a Zimbabwean man sustained a fractured rib when two Chinese national employers punished him after he refused an order to use his personal money in topping up airtime meant for work related calls.

The suspects were said to be the owners of Empress Gold Mine in Mashava. One of the Chinese reportedly ordered the African employee to recharge his mobile phone using his own money to make work-related calls, but the latter refused.

The Chinese bosses punched him several times on the chest using his fists. Another Chinese also joined in the beating, resulting in the African employee fracturing a rib.

Also read more here

Because Why Not? Man lands chopper to take a quick swim

We all know that feeling, it’s hot and you make a decision to go swimming to cool off.

But what if your job involves flying a helicopter? No problem, just make a quick emergency landing and swim.

A photo of a man enjoying swimming next to his chopper has elicited comments about being goals.

The photo according to many was taken somewhere in Laikipia.

This however remains unconfirmed, the awesomeness of the aerial picture is distracting us.

One man responding to the awesomeness of the picture noted that ‘the photography is on another level’.

Here are more comments:
Hellen Adhiambo… The life you choose

Good Joe… Photography is on another level.

Goddy Elisha… What do people really want in life?

Elah Santosh Irene Wanjiru …hii ndio mnaitanga adventure. Let’s go to my shags its more adventurous

Jolly Joice …Anakaa amedrown

Ken Kahuthu …Wow rich life enjoyable

Juliet Nyawira…. Nani alimpiga picha

Ben Musesi …This Kenya akona right ya kujienjoy

Also read more here

‘I balanced my tears’ Kenyans recall parents skipping visiting day in boarding school

 

Kenyans are reliving their terrible boarding school memories in a thread on Twitter.

The discussion centres around visiting day when parents would come carrying tons of food, to see their son or daughter who has been away from home for a while.

Most say their parents never bothered visiting them.

5 traumatic secondary school memories you will never forget

From fathers showing up with a newspaper to see only the teacher to facing the humiliation of other parents pitying you, many say they held back tears until they got to the dorms.

Read a collection of experiences KOT went through on those days when they should have been happy to see their folks.

@KeylvinneKn..
Btw shou out to kariuki mwangi penye ako.msee umenilisha na tumepeana nguvu when tumelishwa blueticks na mzazi.we’ve shared kile ameletewa na mzazi pia.nice chap that one

@EldBlogger..
Mimi sikuwa navisitiwa but i have this one friend mpaka leo we are close buddies…alikuwa ananininvite na hadi maparents wake wananijua mpaka leo. I think that’s the best person i’ve ever.

@Shish_kabucho..
Mum made sure she came every visiting day…and i mean every visiting day without a miss. She had taught me a culture of sharing as early as primo where id carry excess lunch box for kids without. My heart goes out to guys who never felt such warmth

@austin_otieno14..
My mum used to visit me all the times and I would specifically invite a pal of mine called Andrew and he would enjoy it. One day last year I met up with Andrew and he gave me 35k for being kind to him when he didn’t have anyone to stand with him. I cried on the road.

REVEALED: Creative ways students use to smuggle drugs into schools

@MastaEryqoz..
This was the time you knew who your real friends were. Wale wasee mliniokolea chapos thanks Sana 👊 it really meant alot

@Ni_Mangi..
This was me on Prayers Day in Form 4. I was the only one in the entire school who wasn’t visited. Cried so so hard.

@SANTINO_254..
Sorry aki…that was the usual for me…..no one ever showed up…….only class 8 and 4th form Prayers Day

@lewis_cabbage…
Lol .. In high school besides academic clinics i was legit never visited. Nilikuwa naenda class najifanya nasoma nikingoja wazazi wa wenyewe waende ndio niende kuomba chapati

@KeylvinneKn..
I remember this one time my mum akikuja alianguka na http://gari.it rolled severally btw,she twisted mguu rather a tendon so she had a limp.the medic she is akameza pain killers called mech wake na juu dish za food bado ziliwa sawa akaletewa gari na his bro-inlaw …..

This is the fancy school menu at St Andrew’s Turi

@KeylvinneKn..
He said “uko sawa?gari imeharibika sana?inakaa kutumia how much kuunda?after majibu akasema ni sawa tutaongea nyumbani.😂😂apparently mathe alijikaza ivo koz a week before l had called her and complained dad akikuja yuleta chipo moja,gazeti na soda takeaway and haikua fiti koz..

@brazbrayo..
Visiting days used to be my most depressing times in school, i don’t even wanna talk about it. 🚶🏾😔

@Paperboyrocks..
I went to boarding school from the time I was born.

I was born and started reading the hospital charts in a bed away from my mother.

The nurses thought I was crying, kumbe I was shouting out their name tags.

@KaymanGeorge..
🤣🤣🤣 That used to be my worst time especially when dudes later in the evening avoid supper and find yourself in the dining hall alone…I feel the pain to date

@i_milesgich..
One time my mum alikosa kuja Soni called her akasema alidhani visiting iko Feb 30th?!!??!? Tangu lini Feb ikue na 30 days 😂😂

Must Be Nice: Photo of students flying private jet to posh Kenyan school

@brian_ogola..
I remember waiting at the gate for almost a whole day because I was so sure someone was coming. No one came. That was form 1. Nilicatch. And from then on visiting days became games day. So everytime someone showed up it was such a nice surprise.

@Ben_Kiilu.._
My parents had the right idea for taking me to boarding school at an early age to escape the eastlands gang menace. Really grateful they religiously came for all visiting days, even if it meant late in the evening. 🙏🏾
@TheMutaD..
My mum used to cook up a storm. Would feed half the dorm if it was up to her. My dad and mum never missed a single VD. I asked them to stop at A Level. Never felt abandoned. Bless them.

@ayiela_s..
I went to boarding skul in class 5. Mum visited all through till she passed when in form 1 and no one ever visited. All parents day and visiting day i was always alone. Even prayer day nobody came. Hurts…lets just say my kids will never have to feel that way

@Kenwizzy..
This one visiting day in form 3…only one student was visited in our dorm…so he goes to his parents and tells them about it…and guess what…the family forego their part of the food so that we could all get a bite…Aki Jeff mahali uko..Na family yako…mbarikiwe mparare

@Imfate..
I was the guy who knew n never expected to be visited. One day my mum came.
😂😂 I was called n refused to go, that isnt me.
5 times I sent back every guy who was sent to call me with a question. Tell her to give u my full names. Its the teacher on duty who came for me.

@aboreto2..
Wow. This still hurts so bad … I got visited only once in 4 years in high school and just for 15-20 minutes …

@yobran..
My 1st visiting day in Primary boarding, at class 7, my Grandpa came and gave the school accountant 50bob for my soda and bread and left without even seeing me. I cried so hard.
But thank God that changed, by the time I was in High school the whole fam was coming for Visitations

@solomonruhiu..
My dad told me the day he took me to high school in form 1 that I should expect him during the prayers day in form 4. He kept his word and showed up 4 years later with a news paper and Nyama choma.

Also read more here

Fashion Police: Kenyans speak on strict dress code experiences in Tanzania

Back in 2018, Tanzanian songstress Vanessa Mdee let it be known that she was barred from entering a government office all because of a skimpy skirt.

She wrote of the humiliating experience on Twitter

” Only in Tanzania is my skirt which is at my knees too short to enter a public corporate building. This is incredible”

 Vanessa further revealed she was asked to tie a kanga to access the building to which she added
             “Wameniuliza eti ‘una khanga’ FOH”
Several Kenyans have taken to Twitter to also narrate their most humiliating experience in Tanzania that has left a bitter taste in their mouths.
The discussion was prompted by a confession by the Twitter user below, who warned Kenyans girls to dress accordingly
short clothes tnzania
Many say though it is not all parts of Tanzania where a woman will be ridiculed for her choice of outfit, skimpy outfits are frowned upon.
@writinflo..
Yeah…I mean when we went we were shouted at an some people even refused to sell to us. Just above the knee dresses and skirts 😄@SonnieRox..
Was kicked out of a govt office for a dress that was just above my knees

@sharlirungu..
🤣 This is true, if I wasn’t with my parents I would’ve been jailed hata…

@t_cieloh..
The only bad thing about Tz is this

You can actually be arrested 😭- As a short clothes wearer I felt it 😭

@valswayz..
I was in Dar for a wedding when i was asked to go back change from from my short dress, or either cover myself with a leso before they could let me into the church. I chose to go and change.

@Wa_Mutemi..
Mine wasn’t that short even, And they were like, “tazameni huyu dad’s kavaa nini” so loud, they all turned to stare at me😥

@JanepherGero..
So…men even have the guts to follow and touch you while threatening to strip you naked!!

Women will shout at the back like “motto wa kike jiheshimu”
“Hamna mwanaume atakayekuoa!”
“Unadanga/unajiuza”

It’s so scary being free in Tanzania.

@Karwaay..
Can’t relate. Lol. Seriously though, inategemea na kule uko. Sokoni I cover up. The mall, I don’t. I get stares, but that’s all. Whites get away with anything though.

@flobomett..
The comments my friend and I got in kariokor because of our “short skirts” was irritating damn but in masaki where we were staying no one seemed to mind, also thank you for your inspiration, I did a solo trip to Zanzibar and it was all sorts of amazeballs!

@Kingchrisotieno..
The Brothers in Dar es Salaam also thought my Beach shorts were too short for comfort 😂😂😂.
Someone straight up asked why I was walking around in boxers. 😣😣

@NkathaDee..
Lol. Ikr! Had an experience where a whole street just stood and stared at me in amusement of my short dress.

@Mwotweets..
People were staring at me for wearing a sleeveless top. Do wazungu have the same experience?

@skmathenge..
So that’s why I got weird looks from immigration and traffic cops with my shorts on a road trip to Dar via Namanga & Moshi – I was dressed for comfort & didn’t think much about it. Wife also got a few stares in Dar with her sleevless dress (and it was so hot & humid)!

@JusG_G..
I was there in 2012 and got really rude stares for wearing shorts in the market until one guy suggested I get a Kitenge (zambia/cloth to cover around my waist). I will never forget how angry those men looked

 

18 lies all Kenyans tell on a regular basis

 

 

Let’s get real…all of us have probably, at one time or another, told these very lies to another person or to ourselves.

But us Kenyans are more prone to lying slightly more than what could be deemed ‘occasional.’
1. Ngoja kiasi nakupigia

2. I wonder what this life would have been without you

3. Mum amekusalimia ati urudi home tena

4. You are special

5. I told mum about you

6. simu ilizima jana

7. I will never leave you.

8. From the bottom of my heart

9. Siwezi kuacha,labda uniache wewe

10. Ntakupigia”

11. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen…

12. I’ll never leave you

13. Ntakurudishia

14. Babe tuma fare nikam

15. You are my world

16. I was thinking about you

17. If you read hard you’ll be successful

18. Mathe amekusalimia

 

Also read more here

 Apart From The JKIA Christmas Tree: Here’s a TBT of Waititus tree

 

Kenyans were horrified when a photo of a pathetic looking Christmas tree at the JKIA was shared online. Airport authorities were trolled for hours on end until a new better looking tree was installed. Remember the lion statue put up by Nairobi county? That too was replaced overnight after being mocked.

But too late we got the receipts.

jkia christmas tree

Back in 2018, Kiambu Governor Ferdinand Waititu amused us all when he debited the county Christmas tree.

Waititu posted on his Facebook page about the tree lighting ceremony.

WHY BUY A CHRISTMAS TREE WHEN YOU CAN DECORATE A LIVE ONE?
Rather than spend exorbitant amounts of money to buy a Christmas tree, I channeled my donations and those of corporate and individual well wishers towards buying foodstuffs and blankets to needy children in 12 children’s homes in Kiambu.

He was heavily trolled and since it’s Christmas here is a look back at the tree.

waititu christmas tree

Dear Classic 105 fam, kindly share how your tree looks so we can inspire the Government to give us the contracts to decorate future trees won’t you?

Also read more here

‘Sisi Wote Wajinga’ Maina and Kingangi react to King Kaka song

Kenyan rapper King Kaka has caused a storm with his poetic song ‘Wajinga Nyinyi’ in which accuses politicians of hoodwinking Kenyans and at the same time calls out Kenyans for being gullible.

This discussion trended on social media, and on Monday morning Classic hosts Maina Kageni and Mwalimu weighed in saying ‘sisi wote ni wajinga and we have learnt nothing from it’.

Maina wanted to know what has changed since and what we are going to do going forward about graft and being gullible voters in 2022.

Fine he has done the song, but what are we going to do about it as Kenyans. What are you going to change in terms of your behaviour, we all agree we are sick to the neck as Kenyans, but in 2022 we shall be there queuing with mtu wetu mentality, wajinga sisi,

To which Mwalimu Kingangi shared his simple thoughts

Tumemaliza kuongea

Maina added

It’s dejavu, we’ve been here before someone says something revolutionary and we did nothing, so wajinga nyinyi and then, coz we all need to make that change individually that can snowball into something national.

A woman called in saying

It’s like hell on earth, nothing changes, it’s just gone from worse to worse. For me I don’t vote because of mtu wetu, I try to check your profile and what I have heard about you, but sometimes you find you are on your own. We are not supposed to be tribalists. I don’t know why we recycle these people

Dear Classic 105 fam, what change are you going to make as an individual that will transform how we politik going forward? Drop your comments below.

Also read more here

Kenyans marvel at TBT of food prices at Ebrahims supermarket

 
Feeling the squeeze of the economy yet?

A photo of the cost of items sold in a Kenya supermarket back in the day has triggered a flood of complaints.

Complaints about the cost of living appear to be growing countrywide with people explaining why they feel so much poorer. Many Kenyans claim they are doing it tougher than ever.

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Here are some reactions to the price list by KOT:

@ignatius_koech1..
Yaani sukari na rice ni 20 bob in total?
Sai 20 bob ni nyanya tu unaeza nunua😬

@dannymunyi..
That first item there is now 800/- …. I was losing it in the supermarket!!

@KenMcK5..
😂my mum tells me her pocket money was 60bob😂😂na alikuwa anabaki na change

@mlot321..
Unga n rice seemed more affordable that sauce. Saa ii sauce is affordable kuliko unga😏

They drink Jack Daniels like a man! Maina told about bibi mang’aa

@KamauD3..
With 500/- you’d still get 7/= change. With 10k people would brand you illuminati

@KamauKiserian..
Butter at that price..
How is it so damn expensive now?

@GaithoK..
Siagi siku hizi hainunuliki bana… it’s like 100 times and so many brands! Back then it was by KCC only

@Aquila_Lady..
Lady gay is more expensive than butter????wow

Also read more here

Angry woman yelling at cat turns into hilarious memes 

 

By now you muts have seen Kenyans posting or resharing meme’s of a woman seemingly yelling at a ct.

It’s funny as hell, for those with a sense of humor.

The viral photo is a mashup of a blonde woman yelling at a confused looking white cat sitting in front of a plate of vegetables.

Here is an explanation of the hilarious viral moments that will set the understanding for the meme I will share below.

The human half of the meme finds its origins from a 2011 episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where then-cast member Taylor Armstrong found herself in an emotional confrontation with Camille Grammer, as fellow housewife Kyle Richards attempts to calm her down.

As for the other half of the meme starring the angry white cat, its origins began on Tumblr, when user deadbefordeath posted a photograph of a white cat with a bewildered expression sitting in a chair in front of a plate of vegetables. The caption back then was: “he no like vegetals.”

We share some memes we have found online:

catmeme1

 

 

 

catmeme2 catmeme4 catmeme6 catmeme7 catmeme8

 

 

Also read more here

Maina and King’ang’i weigh in on Garissa women rep Subow’s abusive language

 

The obscene and foul language used by female Kenyan politicians has taken centre stage.

This is after Garissa woman rep Anab Subow called Raila Odinga uncircumcised.

In a video that has gone viral on Sunday, Subow is heard referring to Raila as a devil who is not circumcised.

Part of her speech reads

“Rebuke the devil….. this mzee called Baba and I don’t know whose baba he is. He is old but he is not circumcised. He might be baba but let him go to Bondo and be circumcised first. Whom does he think he is, why is he not getting old”.

Classic hosts Maina and Kingangi debated this on Tuesday morning conversation.

Maina was left speechless only managing to say ‘aki mdomo ya wanawake’, while Kingangi insisted that ‘they are showing their true colors’.

Kenyans have labelled the women leaders using verbal abuse as shameless.

The vicious slurs have been roundly condemned when listeners responded to Maina Kageni’s question if it is it the true representation of Kenyan women these days. Here are some views.

An upset man said,’ Can you imagine telling that woman to find your socks? huyo anawezakutafutia? But we are praying to God that all will be well, these career ladies have lost respect for men, they need to change because ile respect that was back in the day that is what we want.

A woman called and said, ‘huyu mwanamke amezaa? because there is no normal woman who can go to in public and talk like that. I think she needs a psyciatrist, coz no normal woman can talk trash like that in public, they are embarrassing women in Kenya,

another said,’ I am saddened by that woman’s comments’.

Also read more here

 

Hilarious reactions to two nuns found pregnant after African trip

 

The Catholic Church has launched an investigation, after two Italian nuns who were on a missionary trip to Africa were discovered to be pregnant.

The story of the pregnancy is not the story here, the reaction from the internet is.screenshpt pf nuns

 

Literally everyone is making fun of the nuns, and under the hashtag #missionary, you can tell it’s going to crack ribs all day.

See some comments below:
@Sonjoe_Kutuh..
That’s why doggy is better than missionary
@SabinajoyKe..
Missionary style to receiving Holy CUMunion..
@dukedammy..
I would have told you the reason but it’s nun of my business, thank God they didn’t pull out of the missionary trip
@SuckaFreeTee..
Oh they had a MISSIONARY trip alright……..
@r3al____AJ..
What’s there to investigate tho, Pulling out is really hard during Missionary tbh
@TBoywonder..
I wanted to say its very hard to pull out during missionary, but its nun of my business

Also read more here

‘Vichwa ngumu’ men reveal reasons for not marrying Luo women

 

Comedian Jalango unveiled his lover for the first time this past weekend at their traditional wedding ceremony.

His ‘secret lover’ came as a shock to many who had no idea he was in a relationship.

7 reasons why Luhya women make the best wives and girlfriends

The comedian is under attack on social media, where many Luo women are alleging he has betrayed his community by marrying a woman from elsewhere. Really? Shouldn’t a man be with someone he loves, regardless?

This was the topic Maina and Kingangi discussed asking Luo women to call in and say why they are so upset with Jalango and other Luo men who marry elsewhere.

Here is his beautiful Taita born fiancee, gorgeous isn’t she?

jalangosfiancee

Ladies you hang a man out to dry, why? Maina asked.

Men are you avoiding Luo women, he further asked.

Can’t Pay, Won’t Pay! Kenyans shout after Kikuyu dowry list goes viral

Men called in and detailed the reasons for not marrying Luo women.

  1. Vichwa Ngumu: One man said ‘we don’t marry them because ni vichwa ngumu, they are so proud even when you have nothing’…..
  2. Spendthrifts: They are unlike other women who want to buy plots and do farming. A man confessed to Maina that  ‘they are not development conscious, they want a flashy lifestyle, instead of buying a plot, they want to pay rent in Lavington, where rent is Sh200k and drive a Mercedes.’
  3. Stubborn: Another man by the name Felix said, ‘our Luo ladies are very stubborn more so when learned there is something that comes in them ata ukifukuza hawaendi, and that’s why you get us marrying from other tribes because they are simple to deal with unlike Luo ladies.’

Why do we take it personally? Maina Kageni asks about bad Kikuyu women jokes

Dear Classic 105 fam, what is your opinion of these allegations? Drop your comments we will share them.

Also read more here

 

Who gossips the most? Men – shout KOT

 

Kenyan men are sharing your darkest secrets more than women.

What we believe about gossiping and who indulges in it has been debunked on Classic 105.

While many of us believe that Kenyan women are societies biggest gossipers, turns out this is false.

Maina Kageni asked listeners who is responsible for most moshene and there was consensus – it’s men.

Even Mwalimu Kingang’i shockingly agreed.

He said, ‘the rains started beating men when they began doing manicures and pedicures. ‘Ni umama’ he declared. Men used to die with their secrets but no more. Saa hii inaweza kuuwa, lazima useme, if you don’t say you will blow up like gas.

gossiping

Here are the views expressed online even from some men who do not think they are:

Caller: ”There are men who gossip about women and their fellow men. They sit and discuss about affairs of other people as they pass by. Gossiping is now for the men and has made them useless!”
@james_baragu..
As a man how can you be known to be a rumour mill that’s a shame ❗️mend your leaking lips 🤣a man who is a source of grape vine is one idle creature who is not supposed to be in the male species 💯maturity is a gradual process ❗️ADAPT

@FelixxOtienoo..

Maina there things ppl shouldn’t share to anyone no matter how much you trust someone. My most sensitive secrets are only known to me and that’s what makes them a secret

@Ladylitzy254..
I think nowadays mushene is something men can actually catch in the streets ni kama homa tu,they don’t even try to hid it.
@Ndabakariuki..
@ItsMainaKageni
its very sad that men are now the biggest gossipers they have even bitten women in that game,
Maina, it’s true…men are now the leading gossipers in town led by Miguna. Look for Ben Githae’s latest Kikuyu song, it’s about the current situation of wanaume na mushene!!!
@mariammombo..
Maina these men want us ladies to give them money ,sai wao Ndio number one kwa mucene tell me ain’t they becoming.. Empty debes.. This is a proof that they are becoming lazy and they know how to discuss women..

@lusava_alfred..
This men with mushene ndio wako na umama, wanatuangusha sanah #MainaAndKingangi

 

Also read more here

19 hilarious things Kenyan mum’s say to their children

She is a phenomenal black mum, but sometimes her children get under her skin.

Kenyans on Twitter are sharing some hilarious but truthful responses they get from Kenyan mum’s whenever they ask something.

The responses are so quirky and creative it will have you nodding your head.

You know you have a Kenyan mum when she says this:

1. @muitunguvincent..
Me : Sitaki kuoga saa hii nacheza

Mum : mimi usiniletee aibu kwa nyumba yangu

dog terror tized by mum image
2. @Nivlake..
Ukieka vijiko mbili za shuge kwa cup… Mwaga Ata yote kwa kikombe si babako ndo manager wa Mumias sugar. 😂
3. @themalvin99..
Brings a friend with dreadlocks home

Mum: endelea tu kuonyesha wakora mkona tv. 😂😂

mummys boy
4 . @JemimahOdambe..
Eeeh kuleni yote nikama dunia inaisha usiku wa Leo na kesho mtataka kunikula

5. @OkumuKenleo..
Ever heard of “….. Kuna wakati mtanitafuta mnikose!” saa hyo umesahau tu kutoa sahani kwa meza.
6. @jaternreteeks..
Vunja vikombe vyote kwa hii nyumba,mkimaliza mnivunje roho Kama baba yenyu.😆

new.mum
7. @ayshaj00..
Unajigonga kwa meza unalia

Mum: Kati ya wewe na meza ni nani ako na macho?
8. @mcjoker6..
*starts crying after a beating*

Mum: acha tulete mitungi ujaze machozi ata hakuna maji
9. @KuleiJuan..
Mum:umekula sukari sindio eeeh
Me:hapana mum
Mum: aaah hebu fungua mdomo ng’ombe hii

two mums
10. @harrisonthuo..
Me: (breaking cups)

Mum: Vunja tu hizo vikombe, nazihesabu, nitazikujia tu ukianza kufanya kazi!
11. @Ami92689210..
Me: naumwa tumbo mum
Mum: nashindanga nikikwambia utoke kwa hio simu ona sasa
🤨🙄
12. @MikeyMzito..
Me: Mum mimi siendi na hizi nguo,hazikai poa

Mum: kwani unaenda kuolewa,utavaa hizo 😅

Single Mother Getting Kids Ready in the Morning.
Single Mother Getting Kids Ready in the Morning.

13. @ShyzloMike..
mum: sends me to look for something in the house
Me: shouting in the house ( mum sijaiona)
mum : wewe unaweza pata kitu kweli ukitumwa😓😓🤐🤐 na saa hiyo ndio anakishow place ameiweka😥😥😂
14. @justine_osiemo..
A spoon falls kwa floor

Mum:chukueni ata zile ziko kabati pasua yote si mama yenu anachuna pesa Kama matawi.
15. @KaiwaNzomo..
me: drops a spoon

mum:acha nikutolee vyombo zote kwa kabati uzimalize juu hivo utakua umenimaliza pia😂😂😂

shocked-meme
16. @RSpartaz..
Ukiangusha glass accidentally:
Mum: chukua nyundo umalizie zenye umebakisha
17. @Its_WambuiG..
When you leave the door open.
Mum: unawacha mlango hivo kwani uko na mkia utafinya ukifunga?
18. @Rosal_awake9..
Ukiangusha vikombe na zivunjike anaanza
Mom:Vunjeni kabisa alafu mkuje mnivunje roho kama baba yenu😂
19. @WangetheP..
Me: tupike nini leo
Mum: kuna sufuria nimebeba ama? Mnaeza nikatakata mnikule 🙄

 

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RIP Kiswahili: KOT tickled by US Ambassadors message to Kipchoge

 

 

Yes, nothing gets past Kenyans on Twitter and more so broken English or Kiswahili.

The good US Ambassador to Kenya Kyle McCarter was among excited netizens who were cheering on athlete Eliud Kipchoge as he took on the INEOS challenge 159 in Vienna on Saturday.

McCarter wrote on Twitter that Kipchoge ‘anawesa’ and this Luopean style got the attention of Kenyans who mocked him mercilessly.

 

Here are the reactions:
@Aketch_Aketch..
nipe hio kazi ya kuhakisha kuwa. Maoni yako katika Lugha ya Kiswahili yanatiririka kwa njia iliyo mufti kabisa.
@Shujaa03..
😂 😂 😂 Amewesa kuwesa sasa ni parte after parte 🎶
@jaymuuo..
Luopean
@brianohanga..
Pia wazungu hushema😂😂😂,Atawesa tena
@SandeDacho..
It’s anaweza😅 oooh! Only People from Nyanza are allowed to say anawesa😂😂
@KDee254..
sii unilipe nikufunze kiswahili ama ata lugha yetu ya mtaa mazeh
@joselynejay..
Kalenjin accent imewesa btw. Karibu resop
@mbuthiawakamau1..
Si mtu atafutie hii jamaa social media manager! For heaven’s sake

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My husband thinks I want to kill him after KOT jokes on social media

Murdered Dutch Billionaire Tob Cohen had designated his siblings as the manager of his property upon his death.

Detectives shared details and pictures upon the discovery of his body on Friday afternoon — some 55 days after he was alleged by his wife Sarah Wairimu, to have flown to Bangkok, Thailand, to seek medical attention.

A friend to the late Cohen said it is a story she made up to cover her activities.

People Held Nothing Back When Size 8 Said She Is Bukusu And She Loves her Kikuyu Hubby

DCI Kinoti at the crime scene
DCI Kinoti at the crime scene

Kenyans on Twitter have been commenting about the wife’s role in his death, linking it to many stories about Kikuyu women.

One woman called in to the Classic 105 morning show where she confessed a heartbreaking story.

Why do we take it personally? Maina Kageni asks about bad Kikuyu women jokes

She has been affected by all the jokes, and memes about Kikuyu women.

She narrated

‘I’m also called Wairimu and I’m a very upset woman this morning because one, Sarah is a Wairimu and I am a Wairimu. As we speak my husband has been telling me I want to kill him. 

It is very serious and there are days he will come home drunk, he will insult me and even ends up fighting me eti alleging I am planning with the askari to kill him

coehn remians

So I ask him after killing him, what do I inherit from you? and let me tell you Maina it actually annoys me most because I’m a girl from Nyeri and I did not apply to be born in Nyeri. I did not apply to be born a Kikuyu. I just happened to find myself a Kikuyu and he tells me I will kill him simply because I’m from Nyeri.

I am a very upset woman 

‘A Kikuyu woman will treat you like a king as long as you have cash, but toss you like rotten mutura once you are broke,’ How truth is this?

How long has she been married to him?

5 years

Alot is said about Nyeri women online, especially after stories of them chopping off their husbands transformers.

Phillip Murgor with his client
Phillip Murgor with his client, Sarah

Wairimu added that

and he is also a Kikuyu. Let me tell you something Maina, he has nothing to his name so what he does is sleep around the estate. He will come today, he will not come for three days or a whole week, then come home and give those women his phone to call me what they do, then he comes and tells me ‘you are from Nyeri, you will kill me’.

It has awaken in me all the pains I had in this marriage she concluded her rant to Maina.

Also read more here

‘Love Is But A Dream’ Ciku Muiruri comments on Billionaire Cohens death

 

The death of billionaire Tob Cohen has really shocked the country with the details of its gruesome nature being revealed by the police.

Whenever there has been drama between spouses, media girl Ciku Muiruri has chosen to respond.

When Esther Arunga back in July admitted she knew her husband killed their child, she responded.

Ciku Muiruri, ‘Esther Arunga was always the problem’

The same thing happened when singer Adele divorced her husband.

One of the excerpts from her book suggests to couples that

“When the curtain comes down on your relationship, you should damn well walk away with something other than just tears and wounded pride.”

Ciku has once again responded to billionaire Cohens death and KOT are unhappy. They have blasted her for her comments

‘Love is but a dream’: Ciku Muiruri’s beautifully written novel about love

@murimi_kinyua..
So,to you bonding with dogs and making them your friend is the most significant thing you can talk about here?, a life has been gruesomely lost,you can’t talk about that you telling us about dogs?,who bewitched these slsyqueens aki?
@chegewagithinji..
This tweet is distasteful and insensitive… Even by your standards this is really low
@africanqueenmum..
Sometimes it’s better to be silent and be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
@Heiseinbag..
And you wonder why only 7 people have bought your book

 

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