Top 9 parenting mistakes to avoid

 We all have misconceptions of what parenting will be like, but until you get there, read through some of the mistakes we all make, according to experts.

 

1. You pick out a parenting “style” before having children and broadcast it to the world

From bragging about how you will exclusively breastfeed to avoiding issues with domestic workers, and not disciplining children, we have all heard it before. Learn your child before you choose your lessons.

2. You don’t allow your children to play and explore

How many times have you heard mama Jason scold her kids for playing in the mud? Children learn through play, and play includes struggling, making mistakes and even getting some bumps and bruises along the way. If we are constantly guarding, guiding and correcting their playtime, they will be afraid to try new things and, more importantly, they will not learn how to correct or soothe themselves.

3. You react out of embarrassment instead of responding to the true situation

Letting your child eat with their hands rather than cutlery at home may be cool with you, but what happens when you go to a restaurant and they eat with their hands? I can picture you cringing with embarrassment.

That sends mixed signals and will only set you both up for failure.

4. You blame your child for your reaction

“unajua wewe ndio umefanya nikupigie makelele? This teaches your child to blame others for his/her own actions. Is a 2-year-old really responsible for you choosing to yell at them? Can the mistake of a toddler take away all the fun you had earlier in the day? Own your decisions and choose your words parents: “I’m yelling because I feel frustrated right now.” Then, give them the power by asking them what they can do to help get back on track.

5. You make unrealistic and idle threats

Chances are, you won’t really leave your child at the mall alone and you certainly are not going to break his/her arm if he/she doesn’t stop pulling things off the shelves. So don’t even say it! You are teaching your children to make threats to get their way and you’re telling them that you can’t be trusted to tell the truth. If you are going to make threats, be sure they are things you can realistically follow through with, which brings me to the next big mistake…

6. You don’t follow through on consequences

Make sure your children know what will happen if they get counted out. “I’m going to count to three and you had better sit down.” Then what? So after the third time of complying, they decide to see what you’re made of, then the negotiation begins.

Have a better plan; set agreements in advance and stick to them. “We will be at the playground until 3 p.m. and then we will go get pizza for lunch! If you fight with me when it’s time to leave, there will be no pizza. Do you understand?” Then, it’s simply a matter of following through.

7. You end your requests or commands with “OK?”

This is an easy one. If “no” is not an acceptable answer, then don’t ask if they are OK with it.  “It’s time for us to start getting ready to leave. You have two more minutes to play.” Period. You can do it.

8. You tell your child it’s not his/her fault even if it really is

If Suzy pushes Billy off of gate and Billy starts crying and says he doesn’t like Suzy any more, comforting the crying Suzy by telling her it’s not her fault is neither serving Suzy’s emotional intelligence nor is it honoring Billy’s feelings. Suzy needs to know that her actions affect the people around her and sometimes, we make poor choices.

The better thing to do is to ask Suzy, “Billy is hurt and sad right now, what would you like to do to make this better?” She may not respond by walking over and apologizing right away, but maybe she’ll make him a card or ask him to play something else. Let the apology be her own, but acknowledge the effort.

 

9. You compare other people’s kids to your ownin front of your children

in Kenya, this is something we would call child shaming. You must have heard a parent at some point  scream at their child comparing them to aki nani’s kid.

Also read more here

 

Parents who are supportive prevent their offspring from committing suicide or sniffing glue

Praising your child and helping them with their homework won’t turn them into a ‘snowflake’, new research suggests.

Scientists have revealed that parents who are supportive protect their youngsters from wanting to commit suicide or sniff glue.

Youngsters are nearly seven times more likely to attempt to end their life as they grow older if they never received help with their homework, one study found.

And a seperate study, made by Brazilian researchers, showed teenagers are less likely to snort cocaine, drink alcohol or sniff glue if they have strict parents.

The findings question an array of research which has suggested extreme parenting can encourage children to rebel and experiment with drugs.

What was the first study? 

The first study, conducted by two researchers at the University of Cincinnati, looked at the effects of parenting on Government data from 2012.

They found children between 12 and 17 are significantly more likely to be suicidal if their parents showed little signs of caring about them.

Professor Keith King, lead author, said: ‘Kids need to know that someone’s got their back, and unfortunately, many of them do not.

‘Tell them [children] you’re proud of them, that they did a good job, get involved with them, and help them with their homework.’

He worked alongside Professor Rebecca Vidourek for the study, which found 12 and 13 year olds are most negatively affected by poor parenting.

What did they find? 

Children in that age group with parents who never or rarely told them they were proud of them were nearly five times more likely to have suicidal thoughts.

In contrast, 16 and 17 year olds were shown to be three times more likely to have similar thoughts, the researchers found.

The 12 and 13 year olds were also seven times more likely to formulate a suicide plan and about seven times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers.

Similarly, children of this age with parents who rarely told them they did a good job or helped them with their homework were at excessively high risk for suicide.

The findings, described as a ‘major problem’, were presented at the 2017 American Public Health Association Conference.

What was the second study? 

The second research trial, by scientists at the Federal University of São Paulo, Brazil, surveyed 6,381 children between 11 and 15 across six cities.

It revealed that eagle-eyed parents who require their children to follow strict rules are protecting them from a lifetime of dangerous drugs.

Endeavoring to know where they are, who they are with and what they are doing slashes the risk of alcohol and other substance abuse.

Researchers found such parents, dubbed ‘authoritative’, had children less likely to dabble with marijuana, tobacco, cocaine, crack, alcohol and glue.

The findings, led by Professor Zila Sanchez, were published in the journal Drug and Alcohol Dependence.

Read more: dailymail

Saumu Mbuvi’s Baby Daddy Shows Us His Other Side We Didn’t Know About

Benson Gatu is one of the newest celebrity fathers in the local showbiz industry. The JKUAT graduate who sired a baby with Mike Sonko’s eldest daughter Saumu, has proved to be the best dad to his child.

Ever since he and Saumu welcomed their first child, Gatu seems to be besotted with the youngling.

Well, apart from his busy schedule, the Mathioya parliamentary seat aspirant, creates time to be with his daughter. He has been posting photos with his little angel. Unlike other young fathers who have no idea on how to take care of babies and even change diapers, Benson Gatu is different. He is not a deadbeat dad. Below are photos that prove Benson is a great dad to his daughter

  1. Daddy duties

Benson Gatu

 

2. Gatu changing his daughter’s diapers

Benson Gatu

3. Benson Gatu admiring his daughter’s cute face

Benson Gatu

Kenyan Parents, Here Are 8 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Sharing Your Child’s Photos On Social Media!

Technology has caught up with everyone nowadays, and social media platforms have made communication easier over the years.

People are now sharing beautiful memories on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter by posting pictures and videos for their friends to see.

Well, parents have also caught up with the popular trend and post photos of their children on social media to appreciate, flaunt or just update friends on their progress, but it looks like there are dangers that come with sharing these photos online.

If you are fond of putting up pics of your child on social media, here are reasons why it would be wise to stop it:

1. You may be stepping on your child’s anonymity and consent
While it may not be something we think about all the time, we’re essentially taking control of our child’s digital identity from the get-go.

2. Digital Footprints
Posting photos of your kids create a digital footprint — a kind of electronic paper trail — that forms their identities in a world they haven’t chosen to enter.

3. Losing Control of your images
Once you post a photo online, you lose control over it. Someone could easily copy the photo, tag it, save it, or otherwise use it — and you might never know.

4. Targeted Advertising
Data collection online more often than not leads to targeted advertising by social networks or sale of this data to third parties. This is the business model for most, it not all, social networks.

5. Digital Kidnapping
There is a growing crime called ‘digital kidnapping’ in which individuals or companies steal children’s images and use their images in advertisements or more sinister things.

6. You may be sharing your child’s location without knowing
GPS-enabled phones and location tracking integrated into photos by your camera or smartphone may offer up sensitive information like your child’s school address, your family’s home address, and other places you frequent like church or shopping centers malls. This can lead into child kidnapping.

7. You can’t take it back!
Once you’ve posted that picture, that’s it, there’s no way to take it back. It’s always out there, on a server, and even if you tighten up your privacy settings. A picture or video, once shared online, can, with a few indiscreet clicks by family or friends, become public property.

Even if you share the image then delete it, there is not telling that someone had not saved it to their computer already! Plus the introduction of screenshots just made it worse!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Additional Info: Omg Voice