Losing a loved one is very painful. They always leave a gap no one else can fill. One sinks into depression and it takes forever to heal. K24 news anchor Isabella Kituri lost her spouse in 2005, a year after their marriage.Isabella Kiturui’s spouse died o colon cancer and she was only 25-years-old with a three-month-old baby boy.
Little changed completely for Isabella and in a recent interview with the Nairobian, she opened up about her life without the man she had decided to settle down with.
“I mourned for eight years between 2005 and 2013. It was a shock, like a never-ending nightmare. I had been married for just one year,” recalled Isabella.
The TV girl revealed how her pastor, counseled her asking her to move on and she did so though it took a while.
“It’s not fair to you or him. He would wish for your happiness, not misery,” told her.
From that day, Isabella Kituri decided to try and forget what had happened and she said:
“I decided to remove my wedding band seven years later after a talk with my pastor who encouraged me to move on.”
“I had a meeting with myself. I had to stop behaving as if the world owed me for the loss and pain I suffered. I began to train myself to see the world as a stage of opportunities. I stopped feeling that people around me should give me their shoulder.
Instead, I started sharing my experience, empowering others in similar situations. I became more useful to the universe,” she says. “I called myself ‘Blessed Bella’ as a mantra to remind me I can be happy again.”
Many widows find it hard to raise a family after their breadwinner passes on and Isabella Kituri revealed that most widows face financial crisis.
“You would love to give your kids everything their father wished for. You wouldn’t want to fail them, but you must learn to work within your means and generate more income if necessary.”
In Kenya, we have quite a number of young widows among them Eva Buya – the late IEBC ICT manager Chris Msando’s wife, Njeri Kahura – singer Kaberere’s wife. Young widowers include Dan Sonko, Ted Josiah, George Ikua just to mention but a few.
Isabella Kituri also advised widows to be wise with their dealings and put trust in God.
“Time never heals, you make a choice. Be wise in your dealings, go to school, grow a business and volunteer. Be patient with love. Good love nourishes you, if it destabilizes you and your children, start afresh.
The single mother of one dispelled rumors that she’s seeing someone else.
“I am not in a relationship, but I’m having lots of coffee.”
“To be gentle with yourself, be happy with your space and seek peace from within yourself, never from others.”