Shocking: Women reveal how they have been fat shamed by their partners

Women reveal how they have been fat shamed by their own husbands and boyfriends in shocking online confessions. 

Writing on anonymous app Whisper, women from around the world spoke candidly about being bullied, mocked and ridiculed over their size at home. 

One woman told how she receives praise from her boyfriend whenever she limits her food intake despite previously suffering from anorexia.

Another whose partner claims to have a fetish for fat ladies revealed she has been judged over her size despite not being overweight.

Many others confessed their lovers started making comments about their body after having children and during pregnancy.

Whisper users from around the world spoke candidly about their experiences of being fat shamed by their partner, including one woman whose husband encourages her to eat only once a day despite having a history of struggling with an eating disorder

A woman whose boyfriend claimed to have a fetish for fat girls, revealed he had started fat shaming her although she isn't overweight

One woman says her husband begun commenting on her body after it changed with the birth of their two children

Another individual revealed her husband forces her to weigh herself in front of him and accompanies her to every GP visit

One woman who confessed she feels insecure about her weight, says her husband fat shames her despite efforts to eat healthy and exercise

Another individual revealed she struggles to be confident when exercising due to the unwelcome comments her boyfriend makes about her body

A woman who says her husband fat shames her while she's pregnant, longed to have a husband who compliments her body and doesn't criticise her eating habits

A size 18 woman told how her boyfriend makes negative comments about the bodies of others as well as her

One person revealed her husband fat shames her, despite being bigger than she is

Another woman claimed her boyfriend says he only likes skinny girls, when ever he thinks she's eaten too much

A woman who says she hates herself, told how her boyfriend takes the opportunity to fat shame her when he's drunk

-Dailymail

Kenyans Respond To Why Men Are Afraid Of Their Women Climbing The Corporate Ladder

Today’s conversation was based on an event that occurred recently. A certain club held their elections and a lady was chosen to be the chair of the club’s board. This would mean she would have to travel for work and her career is set to blossom. This got Maina wondering; how would Kenyans, namely the men react to their wives climbing the corporate ladder?

Kenyans on social media respond to women who plot to harm their husbands

Why are Kenyan men so backward that they cannot support their wives’ success all in the name of who is the head of the home? Some men felt that pride kicks in when a woman is at a higher position in the corporate world and it can only mean trouble.

This conversation caused quite the stir on social media as Kenyans candidly gave their opinions. Below are some of the comments;

 

Do You Stay With Your In-Laws? Here Are 10 Tips On How To Live Peacefully With Them

In Kenya, you not only marry your partner, you marry their family. And there is nothing as frustrating as having issues with your husband’s family, because, truth be told, you will always be on the wrong!

But, if you find yourself looking for tips on how to live amicably with your in-laws, here are a few:

sharing-a-home-with-your-in-laws-or-parents

1. Focus On The Positives
It won’t always be rosy, but there are several benefits to living with your in-laws. It could be that you have your dinner ready once you’re home after a long day or that you never have to worry about finding a trusting babysitter, with the grandparents always ready to look after their little darling. So when you feel that it’s getting too much for you, think of the positives.

2. Be Yourself
Sure you want your in-laws to always see you as a sweet, calm, even-tempered person, but even the gentlest people often lose their tempers. Be yourself and let them know you and love you for who you are and not the mask you’re putting on, because you can’t keep the act on forever!

3. Understand The Whys
There could be many different reasons to choose living together with your in-laws. It could be a financial decision or you could both have busy schedules and they are happy to look after your children while you’re away at work, or they have taken ill and you need to look after them.

Whatever the reason, make sure you understand it entirely. That helps you understand the context in which decisions are made.

4. Communicate Directly With Your In-laws
Don’t always pass on messages for your spouse to deliver to your in-laws. It’s important to keep communication with them open, to avoid miscommunication and confusion and alteration of information.

5. You And Your Spouse Are a Team
You and your spouse are in this together. In case of disputes, don’t force him to pick sides between you and his family. Talk to each other and find solutions for problems or issues as a team, and don’t try to turn him against his family.

in-law

6. Don’t Get Involved In Arguments
If there’s an argument going on between your spouse and his/her family or any other two members of the family, try to stay out of it. Let them fight it out and resolve it themselves. As you all get used to living with each other, you will adjust better.

7. Be Polite
If there’s an unpleasant message to be delivered, do it firmly but politely. Make sure you get your message across, but don’t get personal or be rude or have a negative attitude. Sometimes, you may have to hold back on the truth, but tact is often more important and it’s a sacrifice you might need to make in order to live together peacefully.

8. Draw The Line
Involve your in-laws but know where to draw a line and have your own separate life and decisions. Some things in life are personal and talk to your spouse and ensure that your in-laws know that those decisions/choices are yours to make as an individual and a couple. You still have your life, you know?

9. Hold Your Tongue
Words once said can never be taken back and can cause a thousand hurts. Silence especially when you’re close to exploding from anger can sometimes be the wisest move. Avoid talking when you are mad, you would rather just take some time off and take a stroll.

10. Don’t Tolerate Abuse
Sure, you might have to deal with the occasional fights and disagreements, but do not tolerate physical violence or emotional abuse or harassment from your in-laws.

If you’re in such a situation, report it to the police or a women’s NGO who can help you get out of the situation. Or simply just move out instead of aggravating the issues.

Love Matters

Husbands Create 7 Hours Of Extra Housework A Week For Their Wives – Study

Thinking back to your single days and wondering why you suddenly have so much to do around the house? This study says it’s your husband’s fault.

According to an article published on women24, a new University of Michigan study confirms what you’ve always suspected: you’re doing most of the work around the house. According to the study, wives save their husbands one hour of housework a week, while in return, husbands create a whopping seven extra hours for their wives.

Frank Stafford, who directed the study, says that there’s a “significant reallocation of labour” that happens once couples decide to shack up and put a ring on it.

And it probably goes without saying, but it gets even worse for women who have kids.

Researchers studied the participants’ diaries to assess how people spent their time, and questioned men and women about how much time they spent doing chores.

I suppose we can at least be happy that it’s not as bad as it was in 1976 when women did an average of 26 hours of housework per week, when their men clocked a mere six.

So next time, if your husband keeps saying he’ll “get around to it” when you ask him to do the dishes, put your foot down. Be sure to discuss how to divide your housework evenly, and then pour yourself a glass of wine.

What Single Women Want Their Married Friends To Know

A group of single women were asked the question. What is it about your married friends that you hate? There answers were quite revealing.

They poured their hearts out on how their married friends act towards them and what they thought about it.

These women got some pretty consistent feedback. Here is what single women want their married friends to know.

It can be tough being single –  There clearly are challenges to being single in midlife, from the merely practical to the more deeply personal. Ann said “Some daily tasks are just plain difficult when you live on your own. When you have to move or lift things, you have to call someone for help. It has to be planned, not spontaneous. You also have to lean on friends for certain things.  It would be nice to have someone to lean on.”

Christine –  “Family members may have unfair expectations when it comes to their single middle-aged relatives, especially when they don’t have children. Holidays with the family have been awkward many times, especially when my young nieces and nephews have their significant others with them.”

We would like to be included in your social plans –  Miriam – ” Navigating social occasions can be challenging, even demeaning at times. We love being invited to go along with friends, whether they are couples or a group of people, many people ‘count’ the group to make sure it is ‘even.’ Others feel sorry for the single woman and always invite a single man to tag along which is rarely the right idea. Why is it that inviting a single person is perceived as throwing off the party?”

Girlfriends, know that I rely on your friendshipsTime and again, single women describe the added importance of their female friendships in their lives. Melly  “I don’t need a partner to feel complete, but I do need my friends. Please know how important you are to me and just because you are married doesn’t mean that we have nothing in common.”

Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m desperate – Many, but not all, women who are single in midlife would like to be in a relationship and do enjoy dating. Ann “Setting us up is not a bad idea but it doesn’t have to be the case all the time and especially when the bar is dropped low. Plus it’s not guaranteed that the hookup will be successful.Women who are single in midlife want the rest of us to know that, despite life’s normal ups and downs, they are doing just fine”

Being married does not give you the right to be insensitive – “It’s amazing what people feel they can say to women who are single in midlife. We are not lonely or desperate, we don’t need men to validate our existence and we have personal reasons why we don’t want to be married. Stop with the questions. And watch the way you talk about single women with other partnered people.” Susan

We are not after your husbands – Most married ladies, rest assured, most middle-aged single ladies are NOT flirting with your husbands. Sue: “When women view us as a threat to their relationships that is hurtful, as if they don’t trust you or think you have integrity. I wish my married friends understood that I don’t want their spouses even if I appreciate spending time with them. I wish they understood that you can be friends with men and not threaten their marriage. I honor your marriage and your friendship. ”

-Huffingtonpost

 

Why Kenyan Men Fear Marrying Kikuyu Women

Kenyan men fear marrying Kikuyu women – better known as the iron ladies –  according to an article in the Crazy Monday pullout.

We posed this topic to our listeners on Maina and King’ang’i in the morning and the response was overwhelming. Kenyan men are giving reasons why they would date  a Kikuyu woman but NEVER settle down with her.

According to the article, statistics show that most of the single mothers in Kenya are Kikuyu. Isn’t this just an assumption and a stereotype? If every man in Kenya has dated a Kikuyu woman before, why can’t the women find husbands?

Check out the responses on twitter

“@njuguna254 Kikuyu women are self-reliant and choose to be single when their spouse r irresponsible and don’t provide”

“@ZANBONNIEY its a notion with the men that Kikuyu women all they care about is money & what you have, they get it ‘n go”

“@Maleckmayende2 They are too expensive, and So demanding. MONEY being there first priority. LOVE follows.”

“@Anthonykamitu they demand equality not knowing that the man whom married her is the head of the family.”

“@LuccieKay Being married to a Kikuyu woman, means that there are 95% chances that the richer u get the closer u get 2 ur death”

“@ItsMainaKageni Statistics show that most single mums in Kenya are …yup, you guessed it …Kikuyu”

One of our callers says that Kenyan men hate marrying Kikuyu women because the women are too goal oriented and cannot stand lazy men. According to her a Kikuyu woman needs a hard working man who will take care of the family and if he is not upto the task, they leave.

Men, would you date a Kikuyu woman? Kikuyu women, is it true that potential husbands are scarce for you? The stereotypes are crazy, listen to this hilarious confession.

Things you should never tell your husband

Following is a list of nine statements compiled by Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of ‘Every Day Love’ that you should never utter to your significant other. This is because these statements may seem like a joke but they could end up destroying your marriage.

Do you fake an orgasm when you actually didn’t? Or find faults with the your husband’s way of handling the kids, or pester him to find a new job? You may not realize it, but by saying so, you are making irreparable damages to your relationship.

First comes: “Yes, I had an orgasm.”

Another statement that is a strict no-no is “You’re just like your father.” It’s nasty and belittling, says Ford.

The third forbidden statement is actually very common: “When are you going to find a new job?”

The fourth hurtful statement is: “My mother warned me you’d do this!”

The fifth line, which is never a good idea to say, is “Just leave it — I’ll do it myself!” Just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong.

The sixth statement, which can be heart breaking, is “You always… [fill in the blank]” or “You never… [fill in the blank]”

Then seventh statement that can be a serious blow is “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”

Saying so, you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health, according to Ford.

Then eighth harsh statement is “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?, which is an insult to your man’s choice of friends.

The last but not the least is “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that…” Let Dad-be-dad.

Credits: ANI

 

‘Don’t question me’ husbands

Today on our morning discussion Maina and King’ang’i were talking about the kind of man who doesn’t want to be asked questions even when he’s wrong. He hasn’t been home for 3 days and when he returns, he says “usiniulize maswali!” Men claim that they shouldn’t be asked questions as they are the head of the homes. Reverse roles and women try the same move as the men and it becomes a police or hospital case. What is your take on this kind of relatioships. Listen to part 1&2 of the interesting discussion below

Part 1

Part 2

The 5 Things Only Men Can Do to Save Their Marriage

You’re madly in love at the beginning of your marriage and are certain that you will be together forever. Then things slowly change. One day, you realize that your marriage may be in trouble. You don’t feel as close to your wife as you did before. She doesn’t seem that thrilled to see you anymore. Sex isn’t as frequent or satisfying.

Your wedding vows include a lifelong commitment to your wife for life, but only about half of first marriages last for 20 years or more.

Is your marriage doomed? Not necessarily. It takes both of you to get your marriage back on track, but as long as your wife does her part, there are some things you can do to save your marriage.

Put your wife before your buddies

Before you get married, it’s okay to put your buddies first before marriage. You can shoot some hoops on weekends, grab a beer after work and dedicate Sunday afternoons to watching football on TV. That changes after marriage. If you haven’t started putting your wife before your buddies, you’d better start now if you want your marriage to last.

You don’t need to drop your guy friends altogether. Talk about the situation with your wife to try to find a compromise. If the problem is Sunday football, for example, you may be able to make her happy just by limiting the games that you watch with your friends to every other Sunday during the season.

Give her space

Everyone needs a certain amount of space, and your wife may need a bit more. When you see that she’s not “busy,” don’t automatically assume that she needs your attention. She may need the opposite.

Even when she is at home and not occupied with chores, the children or her friends, she may not want to talk to you. Maybe you get your alone time during your daily commute or when you hang out in the garage. Your wife may need time to think her own thoughts, too. Keep in mind that everyone is different, and she may need even more time than you.

Communicate

This seems obvious, but you may not be doing a good job.

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D., a therapist and life coach explained,

“We humans are built for connection. We’re all desperate for connection. Sometimes we feel like there’s no way to reconnect, but the other person is just as desperate for that connection. When we change our approach they’re most likely to be magnetic to that connection because they’re already primed for it, already waiting for a chance for connection.”

Make sure that you share your feelings with your wife so that she doesn’t have to guess. Also, be a good listener so that you can continue to grow closer to your wife. If you don’t know how to communicate, start by asking your wife what you can do better. That way, she’ll see that you’re genuinely interested in improving.

Compliment her often

It’s far too easy to stop complimenting your wife when your wedding starts to feel distant, but chances are that you’ve kept up the criticisms. If the compliments have stopped, it’s time to reset and start them up again. Making an effort to compliment her helps you remember what you love about your wife, and helps her realize how much you love and appreciate her.

How many times have you thought about how lovely her hair looks or how she is so patient with the children, but you forgot to say it out loud? Increase the number of compliments you give by practicing saying positive things instead of just thinking them.

Take responsibility

Your wife is undoubtedly partly to blame, but you can do your part to take responsibility for your marital problems. Help out with the children, household chores, cooking and washing up after meals.

Also take charge of yourself. Are you being the best husband that you can be? If not, you may be feeling guilty and taking it out on your wife as anger.