Not many Kenyan women are hesitant about marriage, and so a confession by a city mum about her reason for rejecting a proposal sticks out.
I met my husband 12 years ago. I really didn’t want to formalize anything, and after nine years together and three children, he took the cows by force. He had to call my parents and take them there.. Personally I’m not a fan of formalizing
What’s the big deal you ask?
Weddings to the woman’s family are a big deal and in her case a proud dad’s moment to see his daughter walk down the aisle is about to be crushed.
She told Maina Kageni on Friday that
‘I don’t think I care for it’.
But what then are her expectations in the relationship?
I think I will be comfortable at 50 because as a woman we should also learn to value ourselves because formalizing is like tying me putting me in a prison
When it comes to getting married, there’s no right or wrong answer since every person has to choose what’s best for them.
Fellas, here are other reasons some women choose to remain unmarried:
His caught the country by surprise when he announced at Nairobi Hospital on July 29 the death of his wife, Bomet Governor Joyce Laboso.
It was only hours after doctors had switched off life support machines on Laboso but Edwin Abonyo hardly betrayed any emotion.
The man who had spent decades working behind the scenes would during the period before his wife’s burial to worm his way into the hearts of many by his dignity in loss.
Laboso succumbed to cancer after along treatment both in Nairobi, the United Kingdom and India.
Exactly three months on today, the father of Ted, Brian, Marco and Mina told the Star in an exclusive interview that he has been living in hell since his wife’s demise.
Abonyo said his family is still struggling to come to terms with the loss.
Describing a difficult phase of his life strength and humour, Abonyo told the Star that though he appear the strongest when the grief was fresh, he was the most affected of his family.
Abonyo said watching his wife endure the pain and see life slowly ebb away from her body sapped strength out of him, leaving a gaping hole in his heart.
“I have cried a lot in private. Whenever I step in our house, our room, in particular, the emotions come fresh. I remember everything and the memories kill me,” Abonyo said.
At some point, his eldest son Brian and his foster daughter walked in to join the conversation with the Star.
“June and July were the hardest as her situation got worse. Organ failures, swelling of the leg, her inability to walk and being bedridden went in quick succession,” Brian said.
Even more excruciating, he said, was watching her choke in pain with intravenous tubes all over her as the aggressive tumour grew, undeterred by the rigorous chemo and radiotherapies.
Even more gut-wrenching, Abonyo added, was the fact that he knew his wife had a slim chance of making it “as science records very few treatment success rates for second-time relapse of cancer.”
“In fact, at some point, I told the doctors not to actively resuscitate her as the pain became overbearing and her chances were growing negligible. I did the same for my mother, mother in law,” he added.
Abonyo said that he has not re-arranged the house and even the wardrobes in his city, Sotik and Fort Ternan homes.
In fact, there is still a picture of the former governor, a condolence book and four reddish candles sitting on a small table at the entrance corridor leading to his living room, depicting a mourning mood in the Kilimani, Nairobi home.
Even at Fort Ternan home, they put fresh flowers every time they travel back, which is every weekend, he said.
Abonyo said when Laboso’s cancer recurred, he was a fearful man, knowing that her survival chances were rapidly dwindling.
“When my wife first got diagnosed in the early 90s at Nairobi Hospital, I stopped all I was doing and drove to Nyalenda in Kisumu where my parents were living to cry at their feet,” he said. “I told them Joyce was dying.”
Though Laboso survived this, he relived the experience when Laboso gave him a call from the US that she had been rediagnosed with it, only that this time, he did not run to cry to his parents.
Abonyo and his son Brian Ochieng’ said Laboso’s relapse was detected at MD Anderson Cancer Centre in the US when she went there on an official trip, sourcing for medical equipment and areas of partnership for her Bomet administration.
“She then just decided to take advantage of the trip to the facility to check herself. She was not feeling any pain at the time but I had observed she would complain of being tied frequently while here,” Abonyo said.
“When I got that call, I was devastated. I told her to wind up her trip and travel home so we start treatment,” he said.
As his wife received care from medics, he would feel a part of him was waste away.
“I had been away for 15 years and I thought coming back would allow me to be with mum and the family for a good time. This was not to be. It’s been a tearful period,” Brian said.
After the burial, Brian said, he remained at their For Ternan home for two weeks after everybody had returned to the city, an experience which left him lonely, only accompanied his mother’s grave.
“Every time I would see the grave, I would be broken. But we have tried to smart out of it because we are not the first to be bereaved,” he said.
For Mina, entering her parent’s room and seeing the belongings of the former governor brings back the pain afresh.
“It has been a traumatic experience. All of us lost weight and I, in fact, got white hair,” Mina, who served the governor as her private secretary in all her public life, said.
Sh2 million bill
Abonyo said while he tried to clear all the hospital bills with the help of the state and friends, it is not yet done.
He said with his son Brian, they were recently surprised to receive communication from the London hospital demanding Sh2 million arrears.
“Together with my son, we cleared with the hospital, so we were surprised to have the bill,” he said.
“I however told them that we actually lost the patient, and since then they went silent. So we don’t know whether they will pursue it or let it slide,” added.
Expressing his profuse gratitude to friends who helped, Abonyo said, however, that not all the platitudes at his wife’s funeral were truthful.
“Politicians are notorious liars. In fact, when we heard what they would say, we sometimes just retreated with Brian to laugh,” he said.
“But [President] Uhuru is a good man,” he added.
“The state must be well appreciated. It afforded us much help. Joyce also had numerous friends who were loyal, genuine and true,” he added.
Among the friends he mentioned were Nairobi speaker Beatrice Elachi who, he said, visited them in London and spent nights with the governor at Nairobi Hospital.
CAS Rachel Shebesh, governors Anne Waiguru and Charity Ngilu, he said, also proved genuine friends.
Her husband according to her account, has a very selfish reason for not joining his family for dinner.
The sad wife shared her secret family shame saying
my hubby doesn’t buy food, he doesn’t pay fees then the other day he told he was was robbed business money that I should loan him cash, how can i give him money? He eats in a hotel so he doesn’t have to buy food at home, then he expects me to support his business expenses, these men are something else. I’m just 25 years and I’ve given up on men
I have been with him for four years we started dating in college, then I got pregnant, ikabidi we get married. I’m still with him, I’m planning my exit, we live at his parents plot and the worst thing is he is educated and I am planning to leave him.
The husband routinely spends big bucks on his friends in the club, but not a coin to foot bills at home.
and even at home when we have problems he doesn’t give me a coin, even when I’m broke, but he has all the time to chew miraa and buy people drinks, and has never told me take this money and go buy our kids food, etc
He out earns her yet she carries the financial burden at home
‘he can’t even give me one bob yet he is earning four times my salary, for instance in the supermarket he will make me return things from the trolley,
Nairobi Senator Mike Sonko’s daughter Saumu has opened up about being in love and getting married pretty soon to Lamu Senator Anwar.
The relationship between the two was made public after a fight at a club where he was injured. The two were watching the UEFA Champions League finals at Memphis Lounge within the neighbourhood of USIU in Kasarani.
On Tuesday September 3rd in a radio interview, Saumu spoke about the special connection between the two, after suffering heartbreak from her baby daddy
He was my best friend for a while, he was someone who encouraged me to tell me what work I can do he has always been pushing me
I met Anwar in Mombasa. I had gone on holiday and he was there for a security meeting. We started talking often. He was more of a best friend and encouraged me to take up projects.
My love has been there for me through my ups and downs. I appreciate him very much. He even tells me to leave trolls alone, and to put aside my phone.
Saumu gushed over her boyfriend saying he plays an important role in her daughters life.
my lover right now he is a very amazing father to my daughter
As a single mum bringing up a child without a man actively in her life, she needs a father figure for her child
I would advice if you have left your man find a father figure, coz there is something a father will teach a child that is different, this generation there is something the kids are missing because there we are so confident being single mothers
They are popularly known as the Mathenges and the Murayas on social media, and many love them.
Size 8 and Wahu have officially released their new collabo Power Power, after teasing a new project that set the internet alight..
After the much anticipated song, we take a look at the similarities between the two BFF’s that will get you shaking your head in agreement.
They are both gospel artistes, whose impact in the industry continues to impress. Wahu announced she was turning to gospel in 2018, and released the hit song ‘Sifa’
“It has been a good journey and I am focusing on my own walk with God. It is important that we do what He put us on Earth to do,” she said.
Size 8 in April 2013, she confirmed that she was born again by releasing her first and critically acclaimed gospel single “Mateke”. She has released others like “Moto”, “Yuko na Wewe”, “Jemedari” and “Afadhali Yesu”
Wahu and Size 8 are married to men who adore them to bits. Wahu is enjoying close to 12 years in holy matrimony, while Size 8 a little under 6 years.
Both gospel artistes are mothers to girls. Wahu has two girls, Tumi and Nyakio, while Size 8 has one daughter Wambo Ladasha.
We have recently noticed that they have been hanging out alot, and not just as girl pals, but also with their husbands.
5. Inspiring women
Wahu and Size 8, always share with their fans inspiring messages of hope that we can all believe in.
6. Hair/Beauty experts
Size 8 recently opened a salon/spa business in the leafy suburbs of Lavington on her August birthday, joining her pal Wahu who has been running a hair salon in Westlands for a while.
The two juggle a business with music career, and family. Go girls.
Oh and a plus, their cute hubbies support them fully to run their hustles.
Three women suspected to have murdered a prominent businessman and stacked his body in the sack will be detained remain in police custody as investigations go on.
On Monday, a magistrate court in Meru allowed police to detain three female suspects linked to the brutal murder of a businessman for fourteen days to enable police complete investigations.
Joel Kaberia, 45 was supplying meat to butcheries within Meru town after slaughtering a number of animals. Investigators are said to have recovered a hacksaw said to have been used to chop off the body.
Neighbors of the deceased said the two had been living together for about one and a half years.
Brigit Gacheri Gikunda, 22 who was the deceased lover was arraigned alongside Frida Mwari and Irene Kagwiria Mugambi.
The three were arrested on Saturday and have been detained at Meru police station. They did not take plea to murder charges as police asked for more time to complete investigations.
In a written affidavit investigating Officer Benson Sindani sought custodial orders of fourteen days to complete probe into the murder of the businessman.
Meru Principal Magistrate Monica Maroro said the suspects be detained at Meru police station until July 15 when the matter will be mentioned to confirm the status of the investigation.
On Saturday the brutal murder was the talk of town as residents tried to come to terms of how the deceased was killed and stacked in a sack.
Isaiah Gituma said Gacheri borrowed a pliers at 9am today as she shown neighbor’s one of her finger bite by her husband.
Kaberia’s brother Francis Koome said he lastly talked to his brother on Friday and they had some business to accomplish together as usual before his death. The family is now seeking justice for their kin and have appealed to police to do conclusive investigations to bring all the culprits involved to book.
Kaberia, who hails from Mbeu in Tigania West, had a two-year-old child with Gacheri. He has left behind two more kids born of another woman and two more from a separate woman, according the brother.
“We are shocked and saddened. I am following up and want to know why he was killed. He gave some job assignments to do,” Koome said.
His business colleague Francis Nkumbuku said they were forced to break into the house after the lady turned hostile to produce Kaberia whereabouts and wanted to escape.
They bundled her and escorted her to Meru town Police station.