Common Toxic Habits That Couples Ignore

Whenever we talk about toxic habits in relationships, what often crosses our minds is domestic violence as well as verbal and emotional abuse. However, there are a lot more ways in which a relationship can be toxic. Toxins in the relationship come from habits that seem “normal”. Here are a few examples.

1. Jealousy and clingy behavior – While it is cute to have your partner feel a little jealous of your friend or colleague, it becomes another story when it’s a regular occurrence. When you have to start explaining why so and so is calling you, why you’re smiling at your phone, what you discussed when you bumped into a certain person, where you are, what time you’re leaving etc it becomes choking and very toxic. Your partner is not your guard and you are not a prisoner.

2. Threats – “I’ve had it with this relationship, lets break up”, “I need space”. If either you or your partner has a habit of using these words every time you have a fight, then you might as well end things. You cannot hold your relationship hostage each time you disagree with your partner. It’s like a kidnapping incident where you hold one captive and release them once the ransom is paid.

3. Passive – aggressiveness – The moment you realize that your partner is not an an angel then you will stop assuming they know what you want to say. If you need to say something, then go out and say it !! Don’t expect your partner to read your mind and then get angry because they are wrong. Communication is important and it makes things easier for you.

4. Buying off your mistakes – If you do something wrong, simply own up and accept your mistakes. Do not get her a pair of shoes, flowers or wine so that she can feel better. No, it is wrong and will only create a build up of unresolved issues. Talk and resolve the issues otherwise it will make your partner start keeping scores of mistakes that are “pending”.

Habits You Need To Drop In Your Twenties

When in your 20s, you are encouraged to enjoy your youth and live to the fullest because you will never be that young again. However the one thing you need to know is that the way you live in your twenties will affect you in the long run.

Here are some of the habits that you need to drop:

Always on your phone: Life is an experience which you will miss out on because chances are you are always on your phone checking Instagram, chatting, Facebook, playing games, making unnecessary calls etc. Drop that phone and learn how to have meaningful conversations with people around you because you will learn something.

Not saving: Instead of spending all the allowance you are given or the little pocket money you have, how about you start saving? Ever heard that saying “Kidogo kidogo hujaza kibaba”? You should consider it. You will need to be independent at some point and if you start early the better.

Partying/Drinking – First things first where do you get the money to drink all weekend long yet you don’t have a source of income? This is not to say that you should lock yourself up in the house and not go out, but do it in moderation.

People pleasing: People will always have an opinion about you  whether you are a child or an elderly person. Stop saying yes to everyone and everything; stand up for what you believe in and also remember that you will not always be right or wrong.

No moderation : Enjoy your youth but do it with caution keeping sight to the future. Party, dream, hustle and learn in moderation. Don’t stress too much, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.

Being Messy Is A Good Thing

Have you ever looked at your siblings/friend’s messy room or your colleagues messy desk and wondered how they function? It seems so disorganized and untidy. But according to science, its a positive thing.

As part of the study published in the journal ‘Psychological Science’, researchers asked participants to complete questionnaires in either a clean or untidy office littered with paper among other stationery provisions.

Participants were then asked to donate to charity, then to choose between eating an apple or a piece of chocolate on the way out. 

Scientists found that those who were in the tidy room donated more money and opted for the apple.

However, participants exposed to the messy setting in a separate test and asked to invent new uses for ping-pong balls came up with more creative and interesting ideas, according to impartial judges. 

Professor Vos reasoned that orderly environments “encourage convention and playing it safe”, while people are subconsciously encouraged to think creatively in a messier setting. 

A similar study using cluttered desks and shop fronts by researchers at the University of Groningen, Germany, made similar conclusions.

Messy desks may not be as detrimental as they appear to be, as the problem-solving approaches they seem to cause can boost work efficiency or enhance employees’ creativity in problem solving,” the authors noted in their journal article, The Daily Mail reported at the time.

Habits To Avoid During The End Of Year Party

The end of the year is upon us and as usual many companies will have a party to close the year for the holidays. Besides that, workers with outstanding performance are also rewarded and appreciated. Basically it’s that one day that people get to let loose and have a good time.

Food and alcohol is provided in plenty for all to indulge, however it’s best to be careful and avoid over indulging because chances are that you will embarrass yourself. That said, here is a list of habits you need to avoid during end of year office parties

Getting drunk – Alcohol is not about to run out no matter how many bottles you want to drink, so take it slow. Keep in mind that this is not those weekend turn up sessions with the boys/girls, it’s still within the office setup so know your limit. Alcohol also affects your thinking and you may not want to start drooling all over, insulting people and or being overly emotional.

Dressing scantily – This goes out to women mostly, we know you are blessed with double D’s but no one really wants to see them. Avoid dressing in a way that your boobs are exposed too much or in dresses that are  too tight or in see through, lacy clothes that leave no room for imagination. Cover up a little bit, you can still look sexy while descent.

Being dramatic – This is not the place or time to settle scores with anyone who may have done you wrong. Be an adult and settle it elsewhere, if you choose to keep a grudge then deal with it without causing unnecessary drama. Stay away if you cannot handle their presence.

Erotic dancing –  There is no competition for the best stripper in the office, so steer clear of the grinding, twerking, booty popping and any other sensual moves. Keep your erotic moves for the comfort of your home.

Fighting – Just like the dramatic people, if you know that you like fighting and provoking others when drunk simply avoid alcohol or stay away from the party.

Flirting – This is where all the rumors and gossip stem from… you get drunk and suddenly you have balls to approach the fine women in the office and even your bosses. Keep your flirtatious moves for the club and stay away from people you secretly crush on for another time lest you get a public embarrassment.


Happy Couples Do This ….

Happiness is a state of mind but it also comes from making a choice to be that way, first as an individual then as a partner when you are in a relationship. Happy couples are people who simply choose to do simple things for each other and live in “happiness” everyday.

Simple habits that many take for granted are what happy couples do everyday;

1. Use the word “we” – There’s no “I” in “relationship” or “marriage.” Wait, actually there is… But not metaphorically speaking. One of the great things about being in a relationship is becoming “one.” This means that his pain is your pain or her fears are your fears. And if one partner achieves success you can say, “We did it!”

2. Brag about each other – They aren’t afraid to let other people know what a great person their partner is. In fact, they are proud of their spouse.

3. Make goals together – Super happy couples set goals on a weekly and yearly basis. They have direction in their life. These goals may be small things like “eat 3 vegetables a day” or “smile at everyone we see this week.” But they can also be bigger goals such as “save enough money to take a trip to Mexico” or “learn how to speak sign language.” Either way, setting goals helps these couples to be happy because they are progressing and supporting each other in their dreams.

4. Learn each other’s love languages – The best couples know how to express love to their partner in a way that their partner will recieve it. Even if you repeatedly tell your wife you love her and remind her how amazing she is, she might not be hearing it if her love language is physical touch. Super happy couples know how to communicate their love in a way their partner will feel it.

5. Clean together – Doing menial tasks with someone you love transforms chores into parties. You’ll make memories jamming out to Disney songs while scrubbing the oven and cultivate an atmosphere for conversation that will both strengthen your relationship and make your life a little more sunny.

6. Share inside jokes – Super happy couples will hear a word that doesn’t mean much to the speaker but they’ll make eye contact and burst into fits of giggles. Cultivate jokes that are special to just the two of you.

7. Talk throughout the day – Super happy couples have each other on their mind. They can’t wait until evening to tell their partner about the roadside drama or getting 100% on a test. If nothing else, happy couples call to check on each other’s days during lunch or to square away evening plans.

8. Date – It doesn’t matter if they’re married, super happy couples go on dates. That’s right, a pre-planned event where they spend time getting to know each other better. It can be a fancy dinner or something casual like going for a walk in the park. The important thing is spending quality one-on-one time together.

If You’re In A Whatsapp Group Observe These Rules

Many people, in fact a majority of people, with smartphones have messaging apps and with that comes the temptation to join or form groups. Sometimes it’s with family, friends, workmates, chama people or just for social networking purposes. With that being said, we all need to understand that just because it’s a social media group, it doesn’t mean that we act as we please.

We need to observe certain rules just the same way we do when we send someone a text. Here are some of the rules:

1. Do not text all night: It’s likely that once in a while you will wake up to over 70 messages, or even more, because of all the groups that you’re in on WhatsApp or other messaging apps. Those are too many texts and it’s unlikely that you will have the time to go through them. Simply avoid texting group members at night say past 9:30 pm because chances are you will create a discussion forum that will go way into the night.

2. Announce your exitSome groups are just a bit too much to deal with and so for a reason or two, you may want to exit and avoid getting those funny forward messages and videos and other irrelevant stuff. When you feel that the group has nothing to offer, just tell them you are leaving the group then exit.

3. Keep your phone on silent: Being in several groups means that you will constantly get messages streaming in. It’s best to keep your phone on silent so that you don’t have to deal with constant buzzing which will obviously irritate people around you and will also distract you.

4. Do not send too many texts – If you send too many texts and other people also respond it makes things hard to understand and follow up on. Text in moderation to allow people time to read and respond well.

5. Do not lurkIf a group doesn’t excite you or you see no point of being in one, then exit. Lurking behind the scenes beats logic because you are not participating on anything but “silently watching”. No one wants to be watched so just exit the group.

6. Use the mute button: If you don’t participate as much, you can mute the group and avoid having constant buzzing once messages come in. Besides it’s less “bitchy” than exiting.

7. Thou shalt not sext: Does Bro Ocholla ring a bell? I m sure it does. If you are a fan of texting then by all means make sure you go through your contact list and confirm the intended recipient before pressing the send button. No one wants to see your privates, titties and naughty language on a group chat.

Top 5 Annoying Habits By Kenyans That Need To Stop

There are a lot of bad-mannered people in the city, and although there are some obvious (or maybe not so obvious) bad habits everyone should avoid, there are some which some people ‘obliviously’ exhibit and laugh off, but in reality, they leave a bad taste in people’s mouths. Here are five bad habits to avoid:

1. Jumping the queue
The slang term “no chills” is what can best describe many Kenyans’ behaviour when it comes to jumping queues. Whether it is at a banking hall, bus stop, or traffic jam, Kenyans seem to think it is okay to cut in line.

2. Selective amnesia
Have you ever seen someone you know at a place outside the place you know them? For example, you know someone from church and they usually say hi, but then when you see them at an unrelated venue, they totally ignore you…. That is up until the point they realise that you actually can be of help to them.

This brand of people is what makes Christianity so hard. The Good Book tells us that if someone slaps your left cheek, you should give them your right cheek to slap – but isn’t that
oh so hard.

It is bad manners to ignore people up until you realise you can benefit from them. It would be good for you to be nice to all people, all the time. But if that is way above you, just be cold at all times, don’t shift to a ‘nice’ person only when you stand to benefit.

3. Road rage
Kenyans are a very busy (read impatient) lot and this leads to road rage. There are some drivers who have no regard for traffic lights and want to intimidate others. You will find a driver behind a law-abiding citizen honking his horn at the good driver as a way of telling them to ignore the traffic lights and proceed. Some Kenyans can’t understand why some people don’t drive through red lights, their reasoning being ‘the road is clear’. They will honk their horns so hard, flash their lights, and when the lights finally turn green, they will make sure they overtake the good guy just to hurl insults at him or her for obeying laws.

4. Hogging public walkways in groups
If you frequent the city centre, you will notice there are always groups of friends walking on the sidewalks. The groups are usually university students roaming the streets as they catch up. This group doesn’t do their catching up at restaurants because that means actually spending money at the restaurant. There is no judgement in seeking free catch-ups on the street, but there is a whole lot of judgement when a group of five walk side by side and hog the entire sidewalk. As you can imagine, the walking pace when someone is trying to catch up with their friends will be slow – so it is annoying to have to adapt to that slow walking pace just because some youths don’t want to spend money at a restaurant. Don’t hog the walkway if you are going to walk slowly. There are people who like to put a little spring in their step and you slow them down with your catching up shenanigans.

5. Buying a cup of coffee then sitting at a restaurant the whole day.
Closely related to the previous point are another group of people who will pay for a cup of coffee, or whatever is cheapest on the menu, then proceed to sit at a restaurant with WiFi for hours on end, using the WiFi as others struggle outside waiting for a seat to free up. It is bad manners to sit at someone’s restaurant for hours with the sole purpose of exploiting their free WiFi service. Buy some Internet bundles or go to one of the almost extinct cyber cafes and pay for the service.

Source: Claire Muinde For The Star

Annoying Things That Should Not Be On Social Media

Social media was created with the sole intent to bring people closer virtually, to share ideas, educate, to do business and of course share stories and information. However over the years its intended use has been diluted over the years and people are using the platform in a way that its not intended for.

You are allowed to post afew picture here and there, share your thoughts through updates and tweets, but there is a line that many cross as they post information that is otherwise deemed private or unnecessary. Many people are yet to learn where to draw the line, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t do:

Humble bragging – This is simply bragging but acting like you’re not, or rather “just saying” as many people would put it. E.g “I swear owning a pair of these Zanotti sandals isn’t even worth it sometimes! Ladies keep asking me how much I bought them for and say how they wish they owned them. It’s so irritating to be stopped when you’re rushing somewhere!” .. Just stop it, we get the shoes are expensive and not many can afford them so top rubbing it in.

Selfies – We get it, your eye brows ,hair, make up and every other thing are on fleek but we don’t need to see you on our news feed all day. We get the point !! It’s also unnecessary to keep taking picture of yourself ever other hour.

Posting drug- related content – If you sniff, roll blunts, drink to a stupor, inject yourself etc no one really cares about that. Keep yor vices to yourself because in most cases the world doesn’t care and you might just end up in jail if someone snitches on you.

Games invites – Stop it with the farm ville, candy crush, pool, and other games invites. People have actual jobs to do so sending the constant life requests is just annoying and its probably the reason why they no longer give you lives.

Treating your profile like a diary – No we don’t want to know if you were late for work, got stuck in traffic, burnt your eggs, got yelled at by your boss, spilled coffee on your Mac book , crashed your phone’s screen, ate from KFC, got a vvip ticket to druhill , having morning sickness, broke up with your man, …I’m sure you get the point. We simply don’t care because we have our lives to worry about.

Cheeky Things We Do At Work But We Never Admit It

Work and school are more or less the same with the only difference being the salary paid to workers, the pressure and no holidays every three months.

Many working people continue doing the cheeky things they used to do in school at their places of work. Sample the list below.

  1. Fiddling with your phone – Not because there is an emergency call or message but probably checking Whatsapp group messages, Instagram, texting bae or the chama people, friends etc.
  2. Stealing food – Happens mostly when you get to share the fridge. One hungry human will enjoy your home-cooked meal and place the dish back in the fridge for you to pick. Bad behavior!
  3. Stealing stuff– You hate taking tea from the vending machine and since you “forget” to carry your own teabags, you just sneak up and pick one from your workmate’s desk. Pens, paper, bottles etc a lot goes “missing” at the office yet no one admits to it.
  4. Snitching – This happens mostly to people we don’t like. If they come late “we conveniently hint” to the team leader as a by the way …you know just saying.
  5. Sucking up – Your boss just showed up at your desk during lunch, you casually mention how you like their new hairdo, how her child is pretty etc. all this is in order to earn those “bonga points” from her.
  6. Shopping online – From Rupu, Jumia, Kaymu to Instagram etc there are many avenues to shop from. Checking out clothes shoes, bag, utensils etc as you kill time comparing the prices.
  7. Day dreaming – The dream man, house, car, holiday etc there’s plenty more to think about besides sitting there working on that project deadline.
  8. Aimless breaks – We both know you don’t smoke so why are you taking a smoking break? Your water bottle is three quarters full do you really need to refill it.
  9. Constantly blaming IT – My internet connection is off or I can’t access my emails etc maybe you just switched off the Wifi or unplugged the cable but no. The I.T department is at fault.
  10. Googling – You need a top or a new pair of jeans … google it. Looking for décor tips google it, looking for a man …google him. Basically from food, life to even how to spread the bed google is there for you.

Immature Dating Habits You Need To Drop

As we grow older dating becomes more serious and less games for people who know what they want. However there are others who still remain stuck in their younger dating ways which do not apply later on in life.

The eyes of a 20 year old will not see the same things a 30 year old will see, hence with maturity and age some habits need to be dropped.

Here is a list of habits that need to be dumped:

The “let’s just see where this goes” technique – A mature woman in her late 20’s to early 30’s is past the games stage and knows what she wants. These women are driven, successful, independent, and want to be with a man who they can consider an equal teammate in life and in love. A man who is still “figuring life out” isn’t going to cut it with a mature, established woman.

No one has all of the answers but it’s about having some semblance of a path in life that will make her feel comfortable committing to you for the long run. Nobody wants to plan a future with someone who doesn’t have a future planned for themselves.

The “I’ll wait 3 days to call,” and other nonsense – You miss them, want to talk to them want to know how they are doing! Simple call or text. When a certain level of maturity is reached some rules don’t apply. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There are no rules or regulations when building a mature, healthy relationship.

The “Hey, wanna meet up?” texts – Refer to number two especially if you want someone to take you seriously. Call in advance to invite someone out. Last minute texts show your lack of seriousness and the lack of effort. You also need to keep in mind that meeting up for a drink, having coffee, inviting her to join you out with your group of friends etc are not dates. Using the actual word and properly inviting a woman on a date is the first step to actually making it one.

Using your phone during the date – If you’re an adult now, and it’s time to control your impulsive urges to check Facebook every 5 seconds. When you’re on a date with a woman she is deserving of your attention, that’s precisely what you should be giving her. Have a real conversation, give her your full attention, and leave your phone in your pocket.

Wasting time on people you’re not into – Many people do this for the wrong reasons. You feel too guilty breaking it off with them. Maybe the sex was great, but nothing else really was. When we get older, it’s time to get a little more serious about who we spend our valuable time with. If you know in your heart it’s not going to work in the long run, break it off for both of your sake’s. Nobody should be lead into a dead end.

Not being genuine about who you are – Too many people send their “representative” on the first few days with someone new. You’re on your best behavior, you’re polite, courteous, patient, and chivalrous . . . You should really, truly, genuinely be all of these things. If you’re not, don’t pretend that you are, because when the truth comes out it’s just going to make things worse. If you don’t possess these qualities, work on yourself first and develop them before you enter into a relationship with another person. “Fake it ’til you make it” doesn’t apply when someone’s feelings are on the line.

Not dressing up – If you’re taking a woman out on the town, you’re going to need to step it up. First impressions are important, and unless she’s looking for a frat boy, you’re probably not going to want to look like one.

Letting her pay half – Friends split the bill. When you’re on a date, the man picks up the tab. All of it. There are plenty of ways a woman can reciprocate if she’d like to: she can take care of parking, pick up a round of drinks, get the snacks at the show you got tickets for, whatever it may be. But the tab is on you even if she insists on splitting.


Things That Will Ruin Your Life

Have you ever wondered why things don’t seem to work out well for you? Has it ever occurred to you that what you feed your mind will eventually become your reality?

There are things that one does that makes them unhappy, here is a list:

Never take any time to get to know who you truly are – This one is important. The less you know about you, the less you will know about what you want, don’t want, and who you want to associate with.

Don’t give your full attention to what it is you’re doing or to the person with whom you’re speaking. Paying attention will only get things done better (and faster). It will also help build bonds and improve existing relationships. Who needs that crap? Since he or she who stays calmest gets out of a chaotic situation the fastest, freak out and cause a high-drama in everyday situations.

Jump to conclusions or make assumptions. Never give the benefit-of-the-doubt. This will allow you to make quick judgments and ruin relationships before they even get off of the ground.

Change who you are to become who you think others will love and not leave. Allow your fear of rejection to be used against you.

Live in fear of being judged –You know that people are going to have opinions about what you say, do, wear, and who you date. You’ll have ample opportunity to allow those opinions to dictate all of your decisions, from your hair and career choices to who you choose to date, and how authentically you live your life.

Hold out for someone who fits every “box” you have for your dream partner. You may never find your ideal mate, but at least you’ll know you never “settled.”

Compare yourself to others. Use their bodies, relationships, your own projections about who they are, and their happiness, to really showcase all the ways in which you fall short. We’re all a culmination of our own unique experiences, which means we’re going to walk alongside one another, but not always in the same direction. This makes comparing yourself to others a supremely effective way to make yourself miserable. Chase their dreams while you’re at it (this way you’ll never realize your own).

Stay in a relationship with someone who lets you know they do not fully accept or respect who you are. Trying to change who you are to please them will definitely lead to increased confidence!

Ignore your health. Keep smoking. Keep eating garbage. Continue to ignore your need for rest, water, and peace of mind.

Hold tightly onto old habits, thoughts, and feelings. Just like those old jeans you’ll never wear again take up space in your closet, holding onto thoughts, ideas, and habits that no longer fit the person you are is a great way to waste time and avoid moving forward. Besides, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, things will never improve. Then you can complain more!

Make discussions via text message. Completely mature and totally effective. Let’s hear it for smart decisions!

Don’t learn the lesson, move on or do better next time. Just do the same thing over and over again.

Spend time attempting to be perfect. Perfection isn’t arbitrary at all and if you just pick, poke, push and put down enough you’ll achieve it, right?

Don’t trust your intuition. Gut feeling? This is the ultimate down fall …that voice is always right

Allow fear to guide you. Don’t do things you ache to do out of fear that you’ll get hurt or not achieve success. For added misery, sit on the sidelines and complain the whole time. Never train and join the race at all.


Common Habits Of All Unhappy Couples

Many couples are unhappy and it’s not because of things that they can’t change, it’s because of issues that they bring upon themselves. Sometimes it’s done knowingly sometimes it’s not.

Have a look at these habits and see how they affect your relationships plus how you can work them out.

They compare their behavior now to their behavior when they dated. 

In the early days, months, years of the relationship, couples are usually more romantic (or PDA-inclined) than much later on. With time some of the romance will fade over time — and while it’s important to address it, bringing up the past rarely helps the matter.  According to Anne Crowley a Texas-based psychologist, Instead of getting bogged down in the past, see what happens when you tell your spouse you miss them. Often times it is intimacy that we are seeking with our spouse and anger only serves to push them away. Communication is the bridge to intimacy. When we feel connected with our spouse, we feel loved and valued.

They are pros at passive aggressive – According to Marina Sbrochi, a relationship expert and the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. “If your partner models contemptuous behavior, you’ll most likely pick up that vibe and escalate the issue,” she said. “You’ll both walk away silently cursing each other.”

To put an end to the silent treatment, you need to get smarter with your argument style. “The next time you argue, take note of how one person’s attitude is contagious,” she said. “Instead of matching attitude, stop the bad-attitude train. Listen respectively and try to figure out what exactly your partner is trying to say to you.”

They can’t agree on who’s right and who’s wrong – How does it feel to date someone who wants to have the last say and wants to always be right? It must be exhausting. Partners who need to be right at the expense of their loved one’s feelings push each other away, said LiYana Silver, a relationship expert and coach.

“They try to get the other person to submit by shaming them, bullying them, out-smarting them or shutting them out,” she said. “If you’re a partner who constantly needs to be right, ask yourself: ‘What’s so important to my partner about this issue? What about it am I not seeing?’ This will shift the dynamic from adversarial to allied and genuine curiosity in a relationship is disarming and heart-opening. It will put you back on the same team.”

They allow their relationship to grow stale – If you want a long-term relationship to last, making an effort to share new and exciting experiences is essential. When couples fall into ruts and routines, they stop growing together and run the risk of growing apart.

If you find yourself bored by your partner, try something new together: tackle that recipe you found on Pinterest, go for a hike or schedule date nights again.

They lose sight of their partnership – Your partner should be your ride-or-die bestie, your partner in crime. One thing unhappy couples have in common is losing sight of that unbreakable partnership. Life changes when we marry or get serious. We start to go through the motions and we don’t feel bonded or connected anymore. To regain that sense of partnership, try to actively show your partner how much you appreciate them


Things You Should Never Take Personally

We are all emotional beings and sometimes we overreact to things we probably shouldn’t. Granted we might be having a bad day or someone might just do something silly and we react to it when the best thing to do is to ignore and move on.
There are a few things people shouldn’t take personally:

1. Virtual comments/opinions: Why do we get so steamed up about what people write on the internet? We get ourselves caught up in silly, meaningless arguments, working ourselves up because someone disagrees with us. Well, that’s life. What does it matter if someone we’ll never meet thinks we’re wrong? They’re entitled to their opinion, and they don’t have to agree with us and vice versa.

2. Customers at work getting annoyed: If you work in a role dealing with customers e.g receptionists, customer care etc you’re going to have to deal with angry customers at some point. But remember if they yell at you, they’re not angry with you personally; they’re getting cross with the company you represent. Deal with their complaint calmly, and don’t go home still fuming at how mean your customers were to you.

3. Someone pushing in front of you: People everywhere get annoyed if someone cuts in front of them in traffic or into a parking space. If it happens to you, let it go – it’s not worth getting cross about. It’s a minor annoyance, that’s all. What does it matter if they get in front of you?

4. Being turned down for a job: Being turned down for a job is really depressing and it’s hard not to take it personally. But it’s rarely because they didn’t like you; it’s far more likely that they had a number of good candidates (including you). Employers have to choose one candidate for a job, and if that wasn’t you it doesn’t mean that you weren’t good enough. Plus there will be more opportunities.

5. Your partner not liking your cooking: When you’ve spent time cooking for your partner or family, you’re going to feel cross if they don’t like it. But it’s not a personal comment on your cooking skills (unless you really are an awful cook!). Everyone has different tastes in food, and it just means that this particular dish didn’t work for them. Besides even chefs have their bad days.

6. Traffic: When you’re stuck in traffic, you usually get worried that you’re going to be late, or annoyed at the time you’re wasting. But try not to take it personally – the traffic jam hasn’t built up just to make you late for work. Plus unless you can fly, you really have no control over it.

7. Funny Looks: Have you ever thought that someone was giving you a funny look? You then imagine that they’re criticising something about you. But they’re probably not even looking at you, much less judging you. You’re imagining what they’re thinking; you have no idea what’s really in their mind! They’re probably looking at the advert behind you or thinking about their own problems. Sometimes they are even staring into space, so don’t get yourself in trouble just because you “think’ they are looking and judging you.


Mean Habits That Annoy Women

There are certain things that men do, some knowingly other unknowingly, that annoy the women in their lives. They may not talk about it as much but it’s really annoying.

We all know that men are egotistical creatures but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to show humility and accept assistance or correction once in a while. There’s nothing sexy about a man who is so stuck up in himself.

Here is a list of annoyingly mean things men do:

1. Selective Amnesia:  Men have this habit of remembering things like when the All-star NBA match is on, the UEFA championship time table including date and time, The Formula one etc. But ask them to bring you something from the supermarket and boom they will “forget” or bring something totally different. Worse still ask about your anniversary, meeting with a friend or birthday their brains always “omit” this info.

2. Ogling – In as much as men are visual creatures, starting at other women when we are together is not a good move. Granted they may have a bigger bossom than mine or they may be prettier, but it will make your woman feel bad. In as much as it may be a stare that means “nothing” don’t do it in her presence.

3. Over possessive/Protective:Unless you are dating a log, men will always look at your woman. If your woman is never approached or admired by other men then I hate to break it down for you, it’s a raw deal. Anyway, being over protective is not attractive, yes a woman wants to feel safe and loved but not suffocated. You cannot control who she talks to, when and how. Stop your insecurities, also calling after every hour to find out her whereabouts isn’t cool.

4. Porn star – In as much as women love a man who is good in bed, we are not asking for a porn star. Granted we may be a little adventurous but that doesn’t mean we will want to practice all the things you saw in the porn videos. If it makes us uncomfortable or we don’t like the idea drop it!

5. Hypocrisy: When you met her she was the perfect girl, you loved how gorgeous she looked in the mini dresses, skirts etc. You love her extrovert spirit and she was the best to hangout with…. But not the one to meet your mum right? How mean is that? Instead of leading her on why not look for a wife material from the start?

6. Friend crazy: A relationship is strictly between two people, but for some reason his friends are always around. You plan to go to the coast for a vacation and guess who else is coming? The boys!! There is nothing as annoying as sharing your partner with his friends, learn to draw the lines.


How To Break Your Bad Relationship Habits

Over the years, you’ve tried dating a few people but sadly they all which ended badly, not because the people were jerks atleast not all of them but because It just didn’t work. It’s not that you’re actively searching for the wrong guys, but for some reason that’s all you end up attracting. Some days you feel like there are just no good ones left. But on other days, when you keep seeing the common denominator in your bad relationship equation is you, you’re left wondering… Is it me?

Well sometimes we keep attracting the wrong people because we subconsciously do things or rather have habits that attract such, which means we end up in bad relationships. Here are three ways to help us avoid falling into the bad relationship trap over and over again.

1. Face your feelings head on.
Laura Rubenstein raises an excellent point when she says, “If you’re aware that you feel undeserving, you can change that.” Do not stay with someone when you feel like you are not getting what you deserve because chances are it will not change. Change the pain you feel and walk away.

2. Stop living in the past.
Dwelling on things you can’t change only forces you into a self-imposed funk. If we actively worked towards improving our future instead of focusing on our past, so many of our issues would disappear. Kelly P. Crossing said it best when she stated, “Who we’ve been in the past absolutely does not have to dictate who we are in the future.”

3. Remember that every relationship is a learning experience.
It doesn’t matter how horribly our relationships end. We’re constantly shaped by the people we meet. Barbara Schiffman mentions that, “Taking credit for what you’ve learned along the way makes you feel as if you are deserving. You’ve earned the right to have what you want now.”

It makes sense. By acknowledging everything that your past relationships have taught you, it reinforces the idea that your relationship was not a failure even though it failed. You can choose a different ending to your next story. You just have to decide to stop repeating your negative patterns and learn from your past instead of being controlled by it.





Top 6 Habits That Cause Kidney Damages

Kidneys are important organs in our body because they play main roles in many body functions. They are the organs that most blood flows through during the day, which is the main reason why kidneys are the most vulnerable to damages.
These toxic habits include:

1. Delaying going to a toilet
Keeping your urine in your bladder for too long is a bad idea. A full bladder can cause bladder damage. The urine that stays in the bladder multiplies bacteria quickly. Once the urine refluxes back to the ureter and kidneys, the toxic substances can result in kidney infections, then urinary tract infections, and then nephritis, and even uremia. When nature calls – do it as soon as possible.

2. Eating too much salt
You should eat no more than 5.8 grams of salt daily. Too much of salt does great damage to the kidney.

3. Eating too much meat
Too much protein in your diet is harmful to your kidneys. Protein digestion produces ammonia – a toxin that is very destructive to your kidneys. More meat equals more kidney damage.

4. Drinking too much caffeine
Caffeine is a component of many sodas and soft drinks. It raises your blood pressure and your kidneys start suffering. So you should cut down the amount of coke you drink daily.

5. Not drinking water
Our kidneys should be hydrated properly to perform their functions well. If we don’t drink enough, the toxins can start accumulating in the blood, as there isn’t enough fluid to drain them through the kidneys. Drink more than 10 glasses of water daily. There is an easy way to check if you are drinking enough water: look at the colour of your urine; the lighter the
colour, the better.

6. Late treatment
Treat all your health problems properly and have your health checked regularly.

Things that prevent you from getting the ring

You have dated and had all the fun and even foresee the ring coming but then boom!! It’s all over. This keeps happening to you over and over but you can’t seem to understand the reason behind it.

According to relationship experts, some habits that you possess may be the main reason why you are not getting hitched. Things that may seem normal to you could be the reason behind the exiting of potential spouses.

Diana White of  Womanitely  lists five of the habits:

Afraid of reality:I think that people who’re afraid of reality will never get married if they do nothing to overcome this fear. It’s been proved that every human being is afraid of reality in a varying degree and it’s absolutely normal, because fear is a natural response to danger. But when these fears and deep-seated phobias take over, people become unable to take risks and responsibilities. A bit later these too sensitive and emotional personalities become the victims of their active imagination. I think that this weakness should be eliminated at the earliest convenience. Every woman yearns to get married to an emotionally strong and self-confident man. Diffident personalities should once and for all realize that life is a constant struggle. If you want to achieve success in either marriage or career, you should be ready to take up the running and face harsh realities of life with your head held high.

Passive lazybones:In most cases lonely people are passive lazybones. The pursuit of happiness and self-cultivation aren’t their pair of shoe. They don’t try to take the initiative, but want to take the best things from life. If they believe that they’ll eventually get married, then their chances are limited. Nothing in this life happens eventually. Life is a dynamic thing that requires people to be extremely active and productive. If you want other successful people to notice your talents, beauty and the depth of your rich inner world, you should open up and do your best to express yourself. But how can you meet a wonderful partner if you enjoy aimless passive pastime cooped up in your house? I’m sure that every lazybone can become an interesting and attractive person, if they finally get involved in different activities and find friends with common interests.

Too judgemental: Nowadays many people have incredibly high standards, especially when it comes to personal life and marriage. Sometimes human principles don’t let people think rationally, but provoke them to judge others for their failures and weaknesses. People who don’t take any effort to find a compromise will never get married, because a healthy marriage is always based on mutual understanding and respect. Wise people say that sometimes it’s necessary to keep silent if you’re at odds with your partner. It will help you keep your love relationship healthy and strong. Furthermore, women should keep in mind that their habit of blaming their partners for low incomes can seriously damage man’s self-esteem. As a result, deep-seated contentment in man’s heart can gradually chill the ardor of his love. By all means, try not to offend people around you and you’ll be able to get married in quite short period of time.

Workaholic : This  has become one of the most difficult and actual problems of the modern world. This problem has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. Do you believe that workaholism can make you a happy person? If a successful career is the top priority in your life, then sooner or later, you’ll achieve a desirable result. All you have to do is throw yourself into this work and live for it. Unfortunately, between two stools you fall to the ground. If you choose career, then you should be ready to sacrifice your health and love. Almost all workaholics find it difficult to build and maintain happy relationships, because they work and think only about their projects 24 hours a day. They have no time for love and romance.

They cry for the moon:Today both men and women have blurred vision of reality. It seems to me that ladies still believe that one day a wonderful knight in shining armor will appear and win their hearts. Men waste valuable time looking for a bachelor’s wife. It’s high time to get rid of this pointless habit and finally realize that perfect people do exist only in your imagination. The only way to find a suitable partner is to set realistic goals. You need to be sure that your dreams and desires coincide with reality. If you’re dreaming of getting married to Johnny Depp by all means, then your private life is in danger.

Annoying elevator habits

We use lifts to escape the hustle of climbing stairs and save time but uncivilised people’s annoying habits often make us wish we broke a sweat anyway.

1. They step on us, somehow usually when it has rained, when the mud can’t simply be wiped off.

If you come from areas without tarmack roads use the stairs or keep your ‘tired’ muddy shoes at a safe distance, or better still take a smack on the head graciously because some of us are crazy.

2. They squeeze into crowded lifts.

My friend, the lift is not going to heaven, and if it were, it would absolutely come back for the ‘saint’ that you are. Learn to let go: you can get where you’re going a minute or so later because it’s never that serious.

It gets more awkward when the lift buzzes because of excess weight . They came in last but they expect another to get off.

3. And then they fart.

Most elevators in Kenya do not have air conditioners and you dare fart, really?

When the elevator is crowded, you subject people to even more torture.

Sort your gas out at the washrooms available wherever you came from, or out in them where there is enough fresh air to subdue it.

4. They assume we weren’t waiting for the lift and make their way in first.

I know, people don’t queue for lifts but unless you’re in your third trimester of pregnancy, physically or mentally challenged, let those who came before you get in first. They have waited longer than you have anyway.

Nobody cares that you’re in a hurry, who isn’t anyway?

5. They talk too loudly on their phones.

Answering your calls is the norm, but unless you are harmonising sweet lyrics to a music producer like Ne-yo and Usher maybe do, we don’t want to get involved.

The subject of your conversation and your voice make all the difference. Spare us the gossip with your neighbor about your landlord, or about a boyfriend you really should break up with.

Please keep it low.

6. They fill up the space in the lift to make it up just one floor.

Many of us may be lazy but this is simply annoying and silly, especially when someone going farther than you are misses the lift.

Save us the peskiness of stopping lifts on every floor, and help your heart a little by going up just two or at most three staircases.

7. They know we have missed the lift by a jiffy but just won’t hold it for us.

Be humane and press the button, that’s all it takes. Small acts of kindness go a long way after all.

That guy you hold the lift for could end up your prince charming, and that lady could administer first aid if anything happened to you.

8. They hold the lift for so long waiting for their friends.

When people fancy taking their time to get somewhere they buy private cars.

Now read this one out loud: lifts are for public use and should never be used at anyone’s convenience and at the expense of others.

You surely don’t expect us to join in your wait, or engage in small talk, and your friends won’t get lost. Wait for them at the other side of the building.

Stalling the lift for someone who will most likely take a while is selfish, insensitive and disrespectful.

9. They stand too close us yet the lift has plenty of room.

We just can’t take this! There’s something called personal space, and some of us prefer a lot of it.

Move! Move! It is so uncomfortable, especially because we most likely don’t know you and don’t want to know you!

Dear men, you may be yearning for a date with that pretty lady, but please note that body contact should not be initiated unnecessarily.

Worse still, some of you are perverts, sticking close so you can brush against her breast or her behind. Get a life!

10. They press the wrong buttons making the elevator stop at more floors.

I’m not saying you don’t know how to use elevators, but please ask when you are knew to a building and aren’t sure where to stop.

Using a lift is faster than taking the stairs, but pressing the wrong buttons making the elevator stop on every floor with no one getting off beats the difference.

Source : The Star