Good Or Bad Friend? 6 Ways To Tell If People Actually Think You Are A Good Friend

Friends are as important to your well-being – if not more so – than family. Studies show the strength of your closest relationships lays the foundation for how you handle everything else in your life, especially stress.

But would the people you consider your closest acquaintances call you a good friend? Well, here are six qualities that make for the best of friendships.

1. You’re dependable.
You don’t have a history of flaking at the last minute, always. No shame in needing to reschedule every so often. But a good friend shows up for commitments — or at least knows how to warn well in advance when she might not be able to make something.

2. You’re not constantly judging her.
You may think issuing your humble opinion on another friend’s life choices, wardrobe or appearance is helping her out. But in most cases, unsolicited opinions just make you seem judgmental, mean, and potentially threatening.

If you’re looking to keep more friends around (and help them feel comfortable being themselves around you) try reserving your judgments and accepting them how they are.

3. You make plans.
Taking initiative to lock down time to hang is key in keeping a friendship going. Don’t expect your gal pals to always be the ones reaching out.

Two friends laughing, arms around each other

 

4. You respect the fact that your friend has a life outside of you.
Accepting that your friend isn’t always going to be free when you want her to be (nor prioritize your needs above hers every day) is essential.

Not granting someone enough space nor respecting her needs for alone time or significant others, can make you come off as suffocating.

5. You’re willing to compromise.
A friendship is a two-way street, not a dictatorship. Sure, you thought spending the weekend in the country with a bunch of booze and no tech was ideal. But your friend may not have the funds to go in on a share-house.

Plus, she may want to do something closer to home. Being willing to find a mutually satisfying middle ground is a hallmark of a BFF.

6. You show your cards too.
A willingness to share personal information, like the hangups you’ve had since childhood or your hopes and dreams for the future, is essential to making and keeping fabulous friendships. This will also make your friends open up more and feel secure yo share secrets with you too.

black-women-friends

 

 

Cosmopolitan

These Are The Types Of Girlfriends Every Woman Needs

You’re heartbroken, nothing makes sense anymore, and all you do is cry and ask yourself what you did wrong. Of course the answers you seek will not come to you, so it’s best to stop beating yourself about it.

It may not be easy and hence you will need a group of friends to offer you support through this time. Not all friends will be willing to listen and not do anything about it. Each friend is different and hence will support you in her own way.

These are the five kinds of girlfriends you absolutely need to have pull you along

  1. The “Boyfriend” Girlfriend – This is your life partner, your best friend. This is the one person who is like the sister only that you’re not blood related. When you’re at your lowest she steps up to fill the void and vice versa. Every woman needs this friend in her life because she’s the one who helps you through all of your hardest times. And you will do the same for her because that’s what best friends do. She reminds you how strong, capable, amazing and resilient you are. Until you get to where you can believe that again, she’s there to prop you up, bring you bottles of wine, hug you, take you out and make you laugh.
  2. The “Hater” Girlfriend – This is a very close friend, who isn’t afraid to tell you the truth, she’s the one who reminds you why you broke up with your man in the first place. She’s there to act as the harsh one, the one who satisfies the petty desires you’re ashamed to admit to anyone else. She hates him so you don’t have to hold onto those ugly feelings in your heart. This friend is invaluable, as she reminds you of his lame qualities when all you can remember are the great times you shared. She may not take you over to the dark side, but she provides you with some much-needed levity.
  3. The Voice of Wisdom – This is usually a friend with some age and/or extensive relationship experience on you. She knows all breakups are different. She knows you don’t want to hear, “You’re going to be okay,” or “You should be thankful” from anyone. This friend offers constructive advice and ways to help you grow and heal. She draws your attention away from him and towards yourself.

However, her ways are subtle. If she shoves the medicine down your throat, you’ll run and never look back. She is spiritual, self-exploratory and has a wealth of knowledge from her own tough past to share. Listen and take it for what it is. There will no judgment or preaching, simply soul sharing.

  1. The Fun-Time Girl – This is the friend who will take you out to dance, drink and cry out your feelings in the club. It doesn’t matter if you are 30 or 40 years. Her purpose is so that you can live the house and seek adventures to distract your mind. You don’t need the hangovers because they don’t make you feel any better. You need to know the person you just lost is not the only playmate and companion you have.
  2. The Eternal Optimist – We all need hope even when all odds are against us. There should always be a kind-hearted friend in your circle who can provide grounded optimism and cautious hope. Yes, it’s true you never know what life will bring. Even in the most hopeless of situations, these thoughts can buoy you along, until you are far away enough from the situation to see clearly again. She offers objective enthusiasm and balanced input, always making you feel like you did the best you could, and it’s no one’s fault. Somehow, you will leave the conversation feeling justified, uplifted and comforted, even if only temporarily. Keep this one close by; you’re going to need her.

Friends serve different purposes in life, so keep in mind they can never be too many.

-Elitedaily

MP’s seek to cut former spouses down to size in new amendments

The Protection Against Domestic Violence Bill 2013 was amended by MP’s to remove a clause that allow divorcees and ex’s to seek court protection against their ex-lovers.

Spouses who fight and insult each other in front of their children could be jailed.

The MPs excluded any relationship outside what the law recognises as a “ marriage” from being classified as “domestic”.

The bill now awaits President Uhuru Kenyatta’s assent.

In the original bill, ex-spouses were listed as family members and would be entitled to protection and court settlements under laws dealing with domestic violence.

This was changed after some MPs were quick to point out the “inconvenience” of a person being arraigned in court on charges of domestic violence against a person with whom they no longer shared a house.

If the clause had stood, it would have presented an awkward situation for estranged spouses, especially as the law gives a strict definition of harassment within a domestic relationship, including “loitering” near places where a former partner could be having a cup of tea.

The bill was introduced through the Justice and Legal Affairs Committee chaired by Ainabkoi MP Samuel Chepkonga (URP).

The law seeks to protect family members, including children exposed to violence by people close to them, clauses touching on former spouses alarmed MPs who ganged up to ensure they were deleted.

The bill seeks to recognise that domestic violence in all its forms is unacceptable behaviour, to provide for the intervention of the courts to reduce and prevent violence in domestic relationships and to ensure that where domestic violence occurs, there is effective legal protection and relief for its victims,” the bill reads.

The MPs were determined to cut former spouses down to size, and passed another amendment that narrows the meaning of domestic relationship by deleting references to ex-spouse, engaged partner, or a person one has a child with.

Credits: Standard