Here are the type of campus friends we relate with daily

We are social beings. We need friends who we can always rely on and to also pass time with. We relate with friends of different character and temperament. Here are some of the characters they might portray:

1. Geeks
geek
They have high intelligence levels and easily finds a way around something hard to solve. They look confused most of the time and are always in weird pair of glasses. They have a terrible fashion sense but that’s ok. Their wardrobe consists of faded, baggy or mismatching. They top in class and are easily made the class reps.
2. Drunkards
They drink to the last dime. They are the type that never misses any school bash. They siphon the methanol available in the lab and create their own concoction. They literally burn their lungs to the last piece.
pombe
The trouble with being in their company is that they easily start trouble anywhere they show up and can easily black out. The responsibility is getting them back home safely. We’d say they have blood in their alcohol system.
3. Instagram babies
Every bit of their life is for the public domain. They don’t shy away from showing the world their private life. They are obsessed with the flashy life. How they are able to service that lifestyle, I don’t want to delve into that. They live the life we all aspire to.
4. Cool kids
They are the guys that walk around in pair of shorts. They come to school driving in high ends machines. If you want to know about the latest tech gizmo, these are the guys you need to look for. They throw money around like loose change. They walk in packs and you can always feel that you are not welcome.
cool kids
5. Fashionista
They are trendy but mostly lack style. They are into the latest fashion statement. You find them in shouting outfits and hair styles. They are the type that keep asking for a person’s opinion about the outfit they are in. They love the attention.

10 proofs that it is OK to lose friends as you get older

Loosing friends as you grow older or a step further in life is nothing to worry about.

Sadly, people get busier and some friendships go down the drain bit by bit.

Sometimes, the people you were closest to when you were younger tend to fall by the wayside, and your friendship becomes less and less of a priority. After making memories, sharing secrets and having fun together, it can be hard to let go of a friendship that doesn’t stand the test of time.

However, below are reasons to prove it’s super Ok & natural;

You stopped tolerating those who are not genuine.

As we grow and learn, we tend to want less drama in life. At times, we mostly get along with some people because circumstances force us to do so such as classmates, co-workers or rarely seen extended family members, as you get older, you tend to stop tolerating people who aren’t genuine and spreading negative vibes.
2. You realize Value of Time

With every passing year comes more responsibility. As you grow older and life gets a little more hectic, you start to truly value the concept of time.

When you manage to get some free time, you want to spend it with the people you’re closest to and care most about, instead of those who are simply acquaintances. Your busy schedule allows for time with your family and true friends — those who are by your side through thick and thin — the people who make you laugh, support you and build you up.

3. Priorities change.

While friends are a huge priority at a young age, your priorities tend to change with age, often changing to work, success or family. While it’s natural for priorities to change, remember that friendship is still an essential key to happiness.

4. People Change.. Life moves on

People change, things happen, and life goes on without having everyone by you. Above all else, if a relationship is hindering any part of you being the best that you can be, work it out or get out of it. Some people, as sad as it is, are negative and toxic, and if you’re not happy in your relationship with this person, try to fix it or leave.
5. Your true friendships have grown

The friends who’ve stuck by your side through the good times and bad are the ones who will be there to support you, no matter what. Somewhere along the line, the fair weather friends and acquaintances start to fall away, and you’re left with the friends who support you, motivate you, brighten your mood and are happy to see you succeed. These friendships are the ones that grow and strengthen. You develop deeper bonds and connections with every up and down you face together, and you begin to realize that quality is much more important than quantity.
6. Relocating to different countries or schools or towns

This get’s beyond our control, with distance, you could get to talk often but in time you find less time to chat and one on one friendships grow.
7. You have matured

Same going still remains, with change in priorities and growth, some things you were used to doing with yo’ friends tend to seem childish or immature therefore you tend to detach from the group.

8. Having different ambitions

9. When getting into a relationship

More often, we drift from our friends as we are building our love life and relationships. I mean, you tend to confide more in yo’ partner and spend more time together leaving little to no room for yo’ buddies.

10. Me time!!

It becomes hard as we get older to make social life a priority when we have so many other things going on. Unfortunately, some people don’t understand that their friends can’t hang out all of the time and without understanding, oh boy!

Signs Your Friends Are Actually Toxic for You

We all like to think our friends have good intentions for us all the time. This may however not be the case and here are some signs your friends are actually toxic for you.

1. They don’t support you. We all make terrible decisions sometimes, but that doesn’t mean your friends should stop supporting you through them — especially if you know it was wrong. Whether that means cheating on a partner, making a bad move at work, or bitching about one of your mutual friends, a real friend will support you and help you through it, not turn the other cheek.

2. They don’t make an effort with your new partner. Difference in personalities happen and it’s not uncommon for your friends not to get on with your S.O. for whatever reason — but if they actually valued your friendship, they should at least try.

3. They tease you about your insecurities. We all have insecurities (or if you don’t? YOU GO, GIRL) and tend to make fun of them as a defense mechanism, but that does not give your friends the right to tease you about things you’re not comfortable with. A joke is a joke; playing on your sensitive side is not.

4. Your parents don’t like them. Real talk: If you mom doesn’t like them, you probably shouldn’t either. What was it that Justin Bieber sang? Because he might not be a boy of much sense (most of the time, anyway), but he’s totally right about this one.

5. They’re not good at admitting when they’re wrong. We can all be stubborn and sometimes struggle to admit we’re wrong, but that doesn’t mean you should allow someone to put you down all the time — especially if they are obviously and morally in the wrong. Always be suspicious of someone who can’t apologize for their mistakes.

6. They make your other friends feel inadequate. If you’ve got friends in one group that make your friends in another group (whether school, college, work, etc.) feel bad because they “don’t know you as well” or “don’t see you as much,” this isn’t OK. They’re all your friends, so the chances are they’d get on well if they gave your other friends a chance.

7. They don’t respect your house. Friends that treat your house like their own is fine, providing they contribute to the endless pieces of toast they eat and actually tidy up the mess they inevitably create. If not? Get rid, yo.

8. They’re rude about things you like. It’s normal to have different tastes from your friends and to like different things, but that doesn’t mean to say they can openly and actively write off the things you care about — especially considering they should be the ones with your best interests at heart.

9. They’re aggressively competitive. And in turn make you feel weirdly embarrassed about sharing your achievements, namely because they always try to get one up on you and make you feel like you achieved little in comparison to them. This is probably not the case.

10. They tell people things about you that they shouldn’t. If you tell them something in confidence or share your secrets with them, only for them to tell their boyfriend because “they tell each other everything,” that is not OK. A friendship is just as special.

11. They make plans without you. They see other mutual friends behind your back and try to keep it a secret — only to accidentally let it slip and pretend to feel guilty about not inviting you.

12. They bring drama into your life. They’re the one that always cause beef at a birthday party, get too drunk on the night out, or accidentally-on-purpose end up matching with someone’s boyfriend on Tinder. If there’s something causing tension in your friendship group, you can rest assured they’re at the middle of it all.

13. They cancel plans with you last-minute. With no real rhyme or reason, they flake out on you at the last minute to make you feel inadequate or like they’re more important than you. Sometimes this might be great, but most of the time? It’s not.

14. They don’t make you happy anymore. Friends should be for fun times, having a laugh and emotional support — so if they’re not offering any of those things, even if they once did — then it’s probably time to get rid and make some new friends. A happy past doesn’t necessarily equal a great future, so don’t be afraid to wave good-bye if the negatives start to outweigh the positives.

 

 

 

Having Good Friends Is Just As Important As Exercising: Study

According to a new study by the University of North Carolina, having good friends is just as beneficial to your health and lifespan as exercise.

The study found that having a solid social group resulted in better health in early and late life, and that those with good social connections tended to live longer.

According to the research, if you are lonely and sad you’ll probably die sooner. The researchers found a link between isolation and issues such as obesity, inflammation and high blood pressure, which can lead long term health issues.

The study also found that our needs for friendship, and how this affects health, change over the years.

In our early years, the size of our social network is most important for health. This is the same in late adulthood, when our health improves if we have a greater number of friends.

But in the main portion of adulthood, it isn’t so much the number of friends that affect health, but how those friendships help in terms of social support.

The key to a long, happy life is to have loads of friends when you’re young, focus on a small group of supportive mates in your twenties to 50s, then go back to meeting lots of new people as you get older.

But remember to exercise as the friendship won’t shed the calories you consume.

-Metro

Reasons Why You Don’t Have Friends

We are all born to live with people and not be alone. The first people we get to interact with are our sibling, cousins and then neighbours. Those are our relations and our first friends before we get to know the world.

Not everyone is born friendly and chatty but as we go along the way we learn to create and make friends. However some of us are unable to keep and maintain friends for a reason or two. If you ever wonder why you may not have any friends, though you desperately seek for one and constantly lose the ones you have. Retracing your steps and knowing why your friends leave you is one step to mending such broken relationships. here are some reasons you do not have friends:

1. Your friends don’t trust you – For whatever reason could be a betrayal in the past that you didn’t make an apology for or because you are constantly lying to them.

2. You expect too much from your friends and end up disappointed when they don’t meet up to your expectations. They are your friends not your saviour, besides its not always about you.

3. You often abandon your true friends especially when you enter a new relationship. The world is suddenly about you and your man.

4. You turn down friends invitation to spend time with them since you are always “busy”.

5. You enjoy complaining and nag a lot about any and everything that it becomes tasking to deal with the negativity.

6. You keep scores, something a friend did in 1964 is still alive in your mind in 2015 yet they apologised for it.

7. You are not friendly and you don’t even make an effort to be.

Here’s Why Talking To Strangers Is A Good Thing

Growing up we are always advised not to talk to strangers mostly for security purposes and it grows in us until adulthood.

Talking to strangers is not a bad thing and despite the cons, there are advantages of talking to strangers.

1. You never know where your luck may beMaybe that stranger you struck a conversation with might be your best friend or spouse few years down the line. Or may just be the connection to your dream job.

2.You might start looking at life issues from a different perspectiveA stranger’s opinion might be all you need to positively change your ideologies about some topics, especially if they know more on that topic than you do.

3. It’s a smart way to boost your confidence. Ever tried approaching someone first with a subject on your mind? It could be extremely liberating, knowing that you successfully drew someone’s attention. If you make this a habit, your confidence can be boosted incredibly and your shyness eliminated.

4. It makes you a great listener and good speakerIf you want to have a successful career, then horning your social skills are extremely important. Having conversations with strangers actually helps because you not only become a good speaker, you become an incredible listener.

5. You can pass time, especially when your environment is boring or you are where you don’t wish to be. Talking to strangers will not only help you make friends but also you will also pass time faster.

-AllWomenStalk

These Are The Types Of Girlfriends Every Woman Needs

You’re heartbroken, nothing makes sense anymore, and all you do is cry and ask yourself what you did wrong. Of course the answers you seek will not come to you, so it’s best to stop beating yourself about it.

It may not be easy and hence you will need a group of friends to offer you support through this time. Not all friends will be willing to listen and not do anything about it. Each friend is different and hence will support you in her own way.

These are the five kinds of girlfriends you absolutely need to have pull you along

  1. The “Boyfriend” Girlfriend – This is your life partner, your best friend. This is the one person who is like the sister only that you’re not blood related. When you’re at your lowest she steps up to fill the void and vice versa. Every woman needs this friend in her life because she’s the one who helps you through all of your hardest times. And you will do the same for her because that’s what best friends do. She reminds you how strong, capable, amazing and resilient you are. Until you get to where you can believe that again, she’s there to prop you up, bring you bottles of wine, hug you, take you out and make you laugh.
  2. The “Hater” Girlfriend – This is a very close friend, who isn’t afraid to tell you the truth, she’s the one who reminds you why you broke up with your man in the first place. She’s there to act as the harsh one, the one who satisfies the petty desires you’re ashamed to admit to anyone else. She hates him so you don’t have to hold onto those ugly feelings in your heart. This friend is invaluable, as she reminds you of his lame qualities when all you can remember are the great times you shared. She may not take you over to the dark side, but she provides you with some much-needed levity.
  3. The Voice of Wisdom – This is usually a friend with some age and/or extensive relationship experience on you. She knows all breakups are different. She knows you don’t want to hear, “You’re going to be okay,” or “You should be thankful” from anyone. This friend offers constructive advice and ways to help you grow and heal. She draws your attention away from him and towards yourself.

However, her ways are subtle. If she shoves the medicine down your throat, you’ll run and never look back. She is spiritual, self-exploratory and has a wealth of knowledge from her own tough past to share. Listen and take it for what it is. There will no judgment or preaching, simply soul sharing.

  1. The Fun-Time Girl – This is the friend who will take you out to dance, drink and cry out your feelings in the club. It doesn’t matter if you are 30 or 40 years. Her purpose is so that you can live the house and seek adventures to distract your mind. You don’t need the hangovers because they don’t make you feel any better. You need to know the person you just lost is not the only playmate and companion you have.
  2. The Eternal Optimist – We all need hope even when all odds are against us. There should always be a kind-hearted friend in your circle who can provide grounded optimism and cautious hope. Yes, it’s true you never know what life will bring. Even in the most hopeless of situations, these thoughts can buoy you along, until you are far away enough from the situation to see clearly again. She offers objective enthusiasm and balanced input, always making you feel like you did the best you could, and it’s no one’s fault. Somehow, you will leave the conversation feeling justified, uplifted and comforted, even if only temporarily. Keep this one close by; you’re going to need her.

Friends serve different purposes in life, so keep in mind they can never be too many.

-Elitedaily

Reasons Why You Need To Cut Off That Friendship

Friendships are born out of common likes and with time it can either prosper of fizzle out. Sometime a friendship will die of natural causes, not to mean that you no longer care about each other but to show that you don’t view things the same way.

In other cases people change or you finally get to see the other foot, at this point its important o be objective with yourself , accept the situation and let go. But at what point does one do this?

When their character becomes questionable and you can no longer trust them for several reasons its best to keep distance. Eg. Someone who makes a pass at your man, one who is available only during good and happy times and not when you need them etc this is someone you need to cut off as they aren’t doing you any favours.

Jealousy/Negative – A friend who will never support your dreams or amtiouse and encourage you through things is not a friend. These type of people will always negate your thoughts and will always advice you on how much of a bad idea it is plus how it won’t work.

One sided – Just like a relationship it takes two to make it work. However if you are constantly the one making plans, calling to check up on them , asking for a meeting etc then you need to re-evaluate your friendship.

Honesty – You can’t tell if this friend is genuine or fake and far as the friendship goes it’s not crystal clear so you are unsure of their intention. It’s time to move forward

Different goals – Ever heard of this “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are” the company you keep tells a lot about you. I you don’t have goals aligned in making yourselves better then there’s no point of that friendship. This you will realise as you age, that even friendships are meant to push you to become better.

When you feel that you have reached the end of a friendship, do not feel guilty leaving them behind as you forge forward. Life doesn’t stand still and not everyone will make it to the finishing line.

Study: Not Having BFF’s Is More Dangerous Than Excessive Drinking

Do you have a good of close friends you can share everything with and just have fun? No? You need to have them.

According to scientists, those without a friendship crew in their twenties are at risk of early death.

The lead author of the study appearing in Psychology and Aging, Cheryl Carmichael, said: ‘In fact, having few social connections is equivalent to tobacco use, and it’s higher than for those who drink excessive amounts of alcohol, or who suffer from obesity.

According to the research, your 20s is the time to spread your wings and be a social butterfly. Lots of social activities during this period of your life will help you out later on.

By having a wide friendship network as young adults we build a tool set to draw on later in life – we find out who we are, meet people from diverse backgrounds and learn from each other.

Your 30s is the time to settle down and choose a gang of BFFs to frequent the same bar or cafe with every week. Those with meaningful friendships at this age reported a greater quality of life in their fifties than those without

The findings of this study was done on 222 college students in the 70s and asking them to track their social interactions at the ages of 20 and 30 in a diary. Exactly 20 years after the last diary entry, the participants answered an online survey about their well-being.

-Metro

When is it time to cut ties with frenemies?

In adulthood, friendship can be one of those things that is difficult to navigate. Sometimes, we’re too quick to call people our friends. There’s way too many people in the world who don’t have your best interest at heart. Here’s who you can tell who’s friend and who’s foe.

When They Only Reach Out To You When They Need You
Your friendship isn’t important to this person until they need you for something they’re doing.

When they never celebrate your success
Celebrating your friend’s success is one of the best things about being a friend. Social media allows for your friends to celebrate you instantly. So when you’re excitedly sharing your success and there’s no likes, RT’s, favorites or shares from your close friends, then you might not have a friend in that person. Pay attention to those who clap when you win.

When They’re Constantly Trying To ‘One Up’ You
Got a new job? New haircut? Proud of something you’ve done in general? Your frenemy will make sure that when you announce it, they’ve got something equally as awesome to announce. This is very similar to the “Mrs. Me Too” friend.

When They’re Always Saying, ‘Me Too!’
Mrs. Me Too means well, but most of the time, they don’t allow you to get your sentence out before they’re proclaiming that they’ve got it too.

When They’re Gossiping To You About Other People
Who doesn’t love some good tea? However, when you notice that you’re sipping a bit too much from the same friend about everyone and their mommas, that’s when your friendship cup runneth over and your tea is spilled honey. She’s talking about other people to you, she’s definitely talking to other people about you.

When They Turn On You
If your friend can wholeheartedly turn on you in the drop of a dime, then you’ve got to check their intentions and their attitude at the door.

When The Only Thing That Matters To Them Is Them
Narcissism is one thing, but completely negating everything in the world to focus on yourself? That’s just self-absorbed and not the way friendships work. If your friend doesn’t even know that your mom has cancer, you can’t pay rent or you broke your leg, but she replies to you sharing that information with, “I can’t believe this is happening to me,” then chances are, they just don’t care about you.

When They Don’t Make Time For You
If your friend is always hanging out, but not with you…they’re not your friend. You don’t have to spend all your time with your friend, but if you can’t even get plans with them or at least check in, then they’re not concerned with you.

When They’re Always Rude To You
Whether it’s a simple question, or you’re asking for a favor, your friend should never make you feel bad for asking. Jabs are sometimes fun in friendship, but if your relationship is built on jabs, then it might not be a healthy relationship.

When They Celebrate Something & Don’t Invite You
Anytime your friend is celebrating–whether it’s a new job, engagement, dress, etc and they have an event, but you’re not there…you’re not their friend.

-hellobeautiful

Signs you make a good friend/partner

Do you ever think of yourself as s good friend or girl/boyfriend? Take a look at yourself and do a self evaluation to see what you have to offer. There are certain characteristics that one should have:

Listen and don’t dominate conversations: If you’re a chatterbox who loves talking about herself, you might unknowingly dominate conversations with your friends and boyfriend. Your stories might be entertaining and funny, but part of being a good friend is also being a good listener. Not that you can never talk about yourself, but you should also take a sincere interest in your friend and partner.

Make sure you always have your friend’s back: Loyalty is an important trait, and if you’re loyal to your friends and partner, these relationships will grow. As someone who has their friends back, you don’t get involved in gossip about your friends, and you’ll do whatever you can to present your friends in the best light.

Don’t expect perfection from others: You might be a perfectionist, but don’t expect this type of perfection from others. The people in your life will make mistakes and sometimes they’ll disappoint you. This doesn’t mean you should give up on the relationship. Accept others with their flaws and be willing to forgive.

Be honest and tell the truth:It’s certainly easier to tell people exactly what they want to hear, but if you want to be a good friend and an even better girlfriend, it’s important to be honest. This doesn’t imply being rude or overly blunt with your honesty. But if a friend or partner confides in you, it’s only fair to give an honest opinion.

Be encouraging and supportive:Everyone goes through hard times. Whether they deal with disappointment or feel they’re not good enough. Being a good friend means encouraging and supporting the ones you love. Even if you don’t know the right words to say, simply being there, listening and offering a hug can provide the comfort and support they need.

Learn how to celebrate their success: Jealousy and envy have no room in a relationship. Whether it’s your best friend or your boyfriend, you need to understand that good things will happen to them; and sometimes, they might experience success when your life isn’t going so well. In the back of your mind you might wonder, why don’t good things happen to me? However, if you feel any hint of jealousy or envy, your friend or boyfriend might pick up on this.

Don’t try and chance the other person:In relationships, we learn from each other. And I do feel that couples — and friends — can help each other grow and become better people. But at the end of the day, don’t go into a relationship with the intent of changing someone. A person will only change if he or she wants to.

-Allwomenstalk

 

When I Grow Up I Want To Be Like Jose Chameleone – Maina Kageni

Ugandan top artiste Jose Chameleone is Maina Kageni’s favourite. The two celebrities have been good friends for over 15 years and Chameleone inspires the radio king very much.

Maina says that when he grows up he wants to be like Chameleone because, “he says that his work for 2015 is done with 11 well-attended concerts, a new deal with a mobile phone company in Uganda, he is now planning for 2016.”

One Classic 105 fan  took shots at Jose Chameleone’s looks. Find out what Maina had to say in defence of his buddy in the audio clip below.

These are the type of friends you need to ditch

We all grow up around people and form relationships aside from those of our close relatives and families.

We  make friends in school, work, through social gatherings, by mutual association, through hobbies etc. It has always been said that you need to stick with your friends which is a good thing because you create a support system.

However not all people who are your friends need to stay in your life, this is because some of them don’t add much value to you and their behaviour isn’t that of a friend.

The contender – He worked hard to get better grades than you in school, tried to win all the girls’ attention, compared notes on who took the better holiday, and is now comparing your kid with his. Why are you still friends? Healthy competition between friends keeps both parties motivated. But if the camaraderie is about outdoing each other, your friend is your biggest competitor. So, tell him, ciao.

The MIA friend – She missed wishing you on your birthday, failed to turn up when you lost your grand mum. She is almost always busy when you call, and replies to text messages after a week, When you do make plans, she cancels last minute. Let this friend go. Face it; she does not respect your place in her life.

The commitment phobe – You’ve become his ‘run to’ person, yet he won’t pop the question. Like it or not, this person is just not that into you. Pursuing a relationship with someone who is taking it nowhere can result in damaged self-esteem. Better save your time and energy for someone who wants to be with you.

The smarty pants – Nothing is good enough for her. No matter how hard you try, she nitpicks — about your clothes, hair, car, dog’s breed. True friends don’t do that. Remember, when you allow someone to make you feel like rubbish about yourself, you lend more power to their burgeoning ego. Ask yourself, what does this do to yours? It leaves you insecure.

The sulk pot – It is all about their misery. And if you don’t give them a patient ear, they take off on a guilt trip. Take a break from this blundering person. Human beings feed of each other’s energies. If you’re constantly in their company, chances are, you too will turn into one.

The social-networkers – Social networking is great for networking. Keep it at that. If you’re spending more time with your virtual buddies than real friends, you’ve got a problem on hand. You need to get off Facebook and start meeting friends face-to-face. Your handful of true friends will be there for you. The 1000-odd Facebook buddies may unfollow you any time.

The office spouse – Either you or he is hitched. Yet, that doesn’t stop you from indulging in some harmless flirtatious banter. But you need to set boundaries if you wish to preserve your sanity. It’s best to nip it in the bud, before things go out of hand. Steer clear from this temptation if you don’t want to end up losing your job and friend.

The gossip girl – No point pretending to be someone who doesn’t care about what’s happening at the workplace. It’s okay to take a break and indulge in some tittle-tattle with the gossip monger. But is this little birdie tweeting at your desk way too often? You don’t want your boss overhearing a back-biting session, do you? It might generate unnecessary suspicion and ill will. Why go there?

Is that friendship necessary?

Everyone has friends but not everyone is meant to be called one.

Friends are people who are there for you when you need them, they support, encourage and most importantly help you grow.

In our lives we have people we call friends but they are undeserving of the title, this may be due to various reasons but their lack of support being at the top of the list.

Have a look at this scenarios and gauge your friendship, but if they are all positive then its time to dump your friend.

1. They’re critical of you – Do they criticize the way you dress? Do they put you down for not doing something “perfect”? That being said, do they talk badly about you to other people?

2. They seem  to “compete” rather than support – Do they make comments to you that highlight how they “did that better”? Did they manage to accomplish something, but then put you down for not doing the same? Do they try to take up your interests or hobbies in a way to try to “beat you” in some way?

3. They’re users – Are they always asking you to do them a favor? Do they owe you quite a bit of money, but keep making excuses to not pay you back? Are they always coming to you looking for help but they are never there for you when you need help?

4. They try to make moves on your partner – or they start dating your ex without discussing it with you first. Actions like this are a reflection of how much they truly value your friendship.

5. They lie to you – A few little lies is one thing, but when there are many, it can really negatively affect the genuineness of the friendship. If you are the type of person that values honesty, vulnerability and creating depth in your relationships then having a friend that chronically lies isn’t going to support you in that.

6. They don’t really support you –  When you are going through a difficult time, are they there for you? Do they provide you with a good listening ear? Do they support you in your goals? Do they “cheer you on” in your endeavors and ask you how you’ve been doing?

This article was originally published on Jennifertwardowski.com  

This app will tell you who your real friends are

Pplkpr, monitors your heart rate to analyse which of your friends has a positive effect on your emotional wellbeing – and who is completely toxic. Apps allow us to monitor many elements of our lives: our sleep patterns, how many miles we’ve run, our happiness, to-do-lists, calorie intake and even who you should cuddle.

Now, we can use technology to control our friendships, too. A new app, called pplkpr (pronounced ‘People Keeper’) is designed to assess how your interactions with certain people makes you feel. What’s more, it can advise you on whether the friendship is having a positive or negative effect on your emotional wellbeing.

It works like this: you download the free app and sync it with a Bluetooth heart rate monitor wristband (it can also be used manually). It then monitors your ‘heart rate variability’ – subtle changes in the rhythm of your heart, that indicate an altered emotional state. The app notifies the wearer when it detects a spike in emotion such as anxiety, excitement, boredom or calmness.

Together with information you input manually, about who your interacting with and how you think they make you feel (pplkpr detects heightened emotion but lets you decide what that emotion is), the app then decides whether or not they’re a keeper. It can even be programmed to write text messages to those people it thinks are a positive influence and you should be spending more time with. And it can delete those it considers toxic from your contacts.

 

Is your “BFF” affecting your love life?

Everyone of us has a friend that we are very close to, one we can confide in, cry with, share laughter, share our dreams with, critic etc. The friend might be of the same sex or the opposite sex.  This kind of friend is commonly referred to as  “BFF” (best friend forever) and it could affect couples especially  when one’s partner is “too tight” with the bff.

So what happens when your go to person is of the opposite sex and is affecting your relationship?  How can you tell if they are affecting your relationship? And where do you draw the line?  Sometimes we allow friendships to get into the way of our relationships, it may be knowingly or unknowingly. Either way you need to know where the buck stops before you lose your relationship.

1. Your Bff makes decisions for you – In making decisions your best friend will be asked first even before you talk to your partner. In fact in most cases you will go with what your Bff decides. By doing this you end up side lining your partner and it makes them feel like you prefer your Bff over them.

2.Your Bff comes before your relationship – When it comes to priorities, the relationship will take a back seat. If the bff has an emergency everything will come to a stand still so that the issue may be dealt with. This habit is not replicated when it comes to your relationship.

3. Your discussions revolve around your Bff – Most of the times you are with your partner a big percentage of what you discuss is mostly about your Bff . At this point your partner will always wonder how important they are to you as the time meant to have talks about issue between you two is spent discussing other.

4. Your Bff will know intimate issues about your relationship – When there are issues in your relationship the Bff will always be informed. In fact they will even give you solutions to what you can do and how to go about it. No one likes to have their issues discussed and this habit will always bring arguments that can be avoided.

Observe your relationship with your bff and see just how much it is affecting your love life. You need to know where to draw the line and when and how to react to situations. In as much as your friend might be important to you, so is your partner and if it comes to a point that you will have to pick one then you know its time to draw the line and keep your friendship and relationship separate.

The author Lourrine Chituyi is a 26 year old relationship writer.