Repetitive Arguments And Fights Over Finances Are Signs That YOUR Relationship Is On The Rocks

Relationships don’t always run smoothly but a sexual anthropologist has shared the signs to pay attention to that tell you your relationship is over.

Bella Elwood-Clayton from Sydney is an expert on relationships and said one of the main red flags that indicates the relationship is in a danger zone is when the excitement is gone.

‘When, actually, you’d rather just read a book. And he would prefer to play Warcraft. Every night,’ she told Daily Life.

‘The last time you orgasmed while looking into each other’s eyes was before jeggings came out’.

Bella Elwood-Clayton is an expert on relationships says one of the main red flags that indicates the relationship is in a danger zone is when the excitement is gone

She says that the bio mechanical processes that happen when we fall in love only last so long and it is around the six to 24 month mark that the honeymoon period starts to end.

Ms Elwood-Clayton believes that when the complications of life get in the way it often leads to couples being less infatuated with each other.

‘Differing financial values and the stress incurred from consumer debt and partner materialism. These are a top reason for divorce,’ she said.

She has stated that research has found that couples who disagree about finances once a week are more likely to divorce than those who disagree a few times a month.

She has stated that research has found that couples who disagree about finances once a week are more likely to divorce than those who disagree a few times a month

Arguments are a main factor of whether Ms Elwood-Clayton believes a relationship will last or not.

‘If the same fight keeps cropping up, tend to your damn soil. Although conflict is part of any long-term relationship, be aware of intensity and frequency,’ she warned

Although she recognised that as relationships go on couples occasionally become less sexually interested with each other, physical aspects are still important.

‘When you no longer kiss on the mouth every day. A sensual kiss says, I am still in love with you. You are more than a co-parent, a co-inhabitor,’ she said

'When you no longer kiss on the mouth every day. A sensual kiss says, I am still in love with you. You are more than a co-parent, a co-inhabitor,' Ms Elwood-Clayton says

And these aren’t the only signs your relationship might be on the rocks.

Previously relationship expert Olga Levancuka, shared with Daily Mail her three factors in a relationship that prove it is time you should cut ties.

She believes that being a priority in the other persons life is important and if you’re not, it could be a sign to let go.

Ms Levancuka said it’s important to think about whether your partner has introduced you to important people in their life, whether they’re making future plans with you and whether they make important decisions that could impact both of your lives.

‘Being someone’s priority isn’t necessarily all about spending every waking moment together. It’s about playing an important role in each other’s life and being truly connected,’ she said.

She also recommended that you should be aware of whether you have grown apart, as people are constantly changing and evolving.

‘Why Would A Man Want To Decide How His Wife Should Spend Her Salary?’ – Maina Kageni

On today’s morning conversation, Maina Kageni was surprised when a male listener called into the Classic105 breakfast show. He said that women should give their husbands their salary so that they can decided on how the cash should be spent. This is something Maina didn’t expect from a man in this day and age.

According to the listener, since the man is the head of the family, the woman should be submissive and give out all her salary to her husband so that he can plan on how it will be spent. The husband can also make the final decision and approve on all the finances for the household.

This triggered various reactions from other listeners, especially women, who were not so pleased with this discussion. Listen to the audio below to find out what other men and women think about this heated discussion.

5 Financial Mistakes That Can Wreck Your Marriage

The Money Coach Lynnette Khalfani-Cox says married couples who make healthy financial decisions together will stand the test of time on Ebony

Whether you’ve been married for many years or are newlyweds, having a good handle on your finances needs to be a top priority for couples.

If you and your partner have different money “personalities” – different spending habits, savings goals, or just different philosophies about money – you could have arguments about money and endure financial problems that taint an otherwise happy marital life.

Here are five financial mistakes that could wreck your marriage according to Lynette:

#1: Attempting to Change Your Partner’s Money Personality 

Everyone has their own money personality, a set of habits or concepts about money that guide their purchasing decisions, dictate how much and when they save, and determine their spending comfort level.

If one spouse is very frugal and the other is used to living a lavish lifestyle, you can expect some conflicts to arise. However, trying to change your partner’s money personality – and you insist that your way is the “best” way all the time – that can hurt your marriage.

Plan on getting to the root of “why” your spouse feels the way he or she does about money. Learn to listen a lot more and judge a lot less. And then create a plan that’s helps you both achieve individual and shared goals so that each person can feel comfortable about their own spending and saving strategies, as well as what you do jointly within the household.

#2: Having Joint Accounts Before You’re Ready 

Many couples struggle with the idea of having joint accounts when they get married.

If you’re 100 percent sure that both parties are comfortable sharing expenses or seeing how each parties saves, spends and so on, then joint accounts can be just fine. Also, if neither one of you has a problem determining who gets what “share” when each person is earning a different amount of income, you could go ahead and open joint accounts and not experience any real conflict.

However, it’s perfectly okay to have separate accounts and manage your money independently. You could also have both: a separate account and a joint account. Even if you’re splitting the bills 50/50, you could both write checks separately for various bills, and still your own individual and joint financial goals.

You’ll each still be contributing to the household but would have more control over your own finances. Maintaining such independence isn’t about trying to have power. Rather it’s about keeping financial conflicts in the relationship to a minimum and also learning how to effectively manage money on your own.

#3: Keeping Money Secrets from Your Spouse 

Whether you’re trying to hide your credit card spending habit, taking money out of a joint savings account without your spouse knowing about it, or making big purchases without talking to your spouse about them, you’re guilty of keeping some money secrets.

Be as open as possible about what you’re spending. And plan on making larger purchases together so you’re not hiding anything from your significant other.

Ditto for debts and other obligations you may have: if you’re tying the knot with someone, it’s best to tell them about your finances before you walk down the aisle. Otherwise, it you spill the beans about your $100,000 in student loans after you’ve gotten hitched, your spouse may start fuming, and may wonder what other secrets you’ve been keeping.

Bottom line: money secrets can destroy financial and personal intimacy in a marriage. So just don’t go there.

#4: Investing in ‘Stuff’ More than in the Relationship 

While material goods can occasionally enhance your lifestyle, focusing too much on what you’re buying or trying to compete with other couples will take away from your marriage.

Spending so much time and energy to appear rich and wealthy can zap you of energy you need for your relationship.

Avoid becoming so materialistic that you ignore what your spouse really needs and wants. If you want your marriage to survive, material goods should be just a part of your life and not the main focus.

Besides, when you make “stuff” the priority, what could that do to your marriage if the “stuff” goes away for some reason? Learn to be happy and content with each other and your family and true friends. That’s what makes your life rich. Not the car sitting in your driveway.

#5: Avoiding the Money Talk and Financial Planning 

The “money talk” needs to happen – and consistently – if you want your marriage to work. Avoiding the subject altogether usually leads to financial disaster and can jeopardize your financial situation and your union.

Surprisingly, though, most people don’t have a “money talk” until after their married – or at least not until they begin doing wedding planning.

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Divorce Tricks That Will Help You Save Time And Money

Marriage is a beautiful thing and though sometimes it may not work for you it works out for others. That being said, it’s important to know that termination of a marriage, is not the end of life granted it may be hard to deal with, taking into account things such as the legal battles that include sharing of property, and agreeing on the children’s custody.

It doesn’t always have to be dramatic, so here are tips for keeping the legal aspects of your divorce as simple as possible, thus saving you time and money as written by James Sexton for the Huffingtonpost.

Write down your goals – Not only does writing down your goals help you figure out what you really want and need out of this process, it also is there as a reminder in case you lose your bearings. Everyone gets emotional during a divorce, at some point. Having concrete goals helps you focus. There are three things you should identify at the start of a divorce: what you need, what you want and what you’re entitled to. (It’s worth noting that that second thing is typically informed by that third thing).

Familiarize yourself with the family finances – One of the biggest shocks for many people, male and female spouses alike, is how little we pay attention to the flow of incomings and outgoings. Spend a week or more using your spare time to go over your bank statements, bills, taxes, insurance policies, and so on. Have all the documents on hand in case we need them, and make copies of the crucial stuff.

Review everything your spouse reports – Even with the best of intentions, mistakes can be made . People also lie like crazy sometimes when they’re getting divorced. Review everything your spouse reports to make sure your reports line up. The last thing you need is a surprise because it may cost you a lot.

Close joint accounts – Any purchases made from joint accounts can create problems during the divorce, and you could end up paying for stuff you didn’t buy or spending tons of money in legal fees trying to “sort out” what was pre-divorce and what was post-divorce.  Keep it simple. Close the joint accounts. . NOTE, however, that you should either: (A) let your spouse know you’re doing this before you do it (so they don’t panic and think you’re raiding the piggy bank; or (B) take only HALF of the money in the account and let your spouse know that you’ve left the remaining half in there for his or her sole and separate use.

Figure out how much money you need – What is the amount of money that will allow you to live comfortably until and through your retirement, taking into account your lifestyle and your existing annual income? This is your goal going into the divorce.

Record all your expenses – Collect all the records you have from the past year or two, and then keep a record of everything you spend from now until the divorce is finalized. This will help answer any questions that may come up about expenses.

Use your lawyer for legal advice not personal advice – Your divorce attorney is likely not the best person to be providing emotional support. Frankly, they are not trained for it and probably have a higher rate-per-hour than many people who ARE trained for it. If you need someone to talk to about the big stuff, there is zero shame in getting therapist .

Top 10 arguments couples have about money

Arguments about money hamper many marriages. In fact, couples fight about money twice as much as they fight about sex, according to a Money Magazine survey. And the challenges can actually start even before you say “I do.” Sometimes, when each spouse works and they can’t agree on financial issues, they decide to split the bills down the middle or allocate them out in some other fair and equitable manner. Once the bills are covered, each spouse can spend what they have left as they see fit. It sounds like a reasonable plan, but the process often builds resentment over the individual purchases made. It also divides the spending power, eliminating much of the financial value of marriage.

Below are the top arguments couples have about money

1. You spent how much? You might have bought a few too many things to make the house look more homely- stuff that you didn’t need but wanted. Was that ornament or decorative throw worth eating beans for a week? Probably not.

2. Take out– Neither of you can be bothered to cook and really want food to be prepared and delivered to your door. Then all you have to do is provide the glasses and sauce- but can you really afford it? Truth be told- no!

3. Back up– You use the joint as back up when your own money runs out. But when that lake runs dry you really are goosed.

4. Keeping track– Knowing when all your bills come out can be a challenge, if you get it wrong you run the risk of an overdraft fee and then the inevitable blame on whoever the designated accountant is.

5. Budgeting– A great way to cut back and live within your means if you have the discipline- if one or both of you don’t adopt this attitude- you will end up in debt.

6. Cash vs card– One of you will favour carrying cash around so you know exactly how much you’ve spent. The other is probably afraid of muggers to the point of always using plastic. Let the head butting begin.

7. Food- You can budget for this all you like, but no couple can live off one shop every fortnight or month- no- there are always the ‘fresh’ or ‘bitty’ purchases in between that upset the balance. Fruit and veg may be healthy but my word do they cause havoc when it comes to balancing the books.

8. Statements– There is no hiding from a statement- it’s like a list of guilty crimes over several sheets of paper. If you have made any unnecessary purchases on here- they stick out like a sore thumb.

9. Buffers– All couples should have a buffer for when the unexpected happens. An overdraft on top of an overdraft if you will, but if this slowly whittles down to nothing- there is hell to pay.

10. Occasions– Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries- who pays for what? The joint account, your separate account? Have, you/we spent equal amounts on everyone? Let the fighting commence.

-Femalefirst.co.uk

10 tips for managing your money as a couple

Research has shown that more than 50% of people don’t know how much money they have in their bank account. As someone who is newly married, I know how hard it can be to consolidate your joint finances, so I have come up with a few tips to help you if you are just moved in. These are by no means set in stone but they have worked for us so might just work for you too.

Pay everything out of joint account- You might have this already set up for your mortgage- but make sure you put all your joint and single bills into it and use your personal account for just that- personal stuff like clothes and petrol- as these vary. If you can pay your bills from one place it makes it a whole lot easier to manage, rather than potentially negotiating three accounts at once.

Pay in more than you need- Work out a 50/50 split if you earn the same or a split that’s propitiate to your wages, add this amount to your own bills and then put in that plus a little extra. Just in case you get an unexpected expense. And if not- you can use it as a buffer- all accounts should have a float in them so you don’t accidentally go over your limit.

Get a joint savings account- It can be tempting to dip into your own savings when you have overspent- however you may feel guilty in doing the same with a joint savings account- so it might prevent you from indulging so much when you don’t have that as a backup.

Keep receipts- And check them off against your statement- that way you are not left wondering what the cash you got out was for and can clearly see what you spend most of your money on.

Have a separate account for shopping/food- Shopping varies a little so make sure there is a bit of a buffer in here too but try to stick to the same amount every month on groceries and food or this can spiral out of control. Budgeting will stop you from loading up the trolley with excess food.

Keep a file- For all your financial documents and divide it up for each outgoing. Put a sheet at the front that lists everything you pay for in a month. If you are struggling, it makes it clear what you can cut back on with once glance.

Separate your money up- On pay day make a list of things you are going to spend your disposable income on after you have transferred your money to your joint account. Petrol is a big one because it might look like you have lots left over- until you deduct it from your monthly spend. This way you know exactly what you have to play with for treats.

Think twice- About getting a take away or something for your house- do you really need it right now? If not then cook something from your fridge or freezer or don’t buy that item on impulse- ask yourself if it’s a want or a need.

Get regular updates- Many banks offer a mini statement in a text message each week so you can keep tabs on what you have in your joint account. If you don’t have this potion- log in regularly so you know where you are financially.

Look for the best deals-If you have been with one of your suppliers for a while- you can search around for a different one if they are offering a cheaper tariff and make the switch.

-Femalefirst.co.uk

Reasons why women should have a financial plan

As a woman the best thing you can ever do for yourself is have your own money no matter how small it is.

It will not only act as security but will also go a long way in making life much easier for you to deal with.

As a woman there are five major reasons why you should be save.

Retirement – On average, women make less money than men, are more likely to leave the workplace to raise children, and often save or invest less aggressively than men.

For these reasons it’s wise to start early. If you have the means have a financial advisor assist you in planning your finances. If you plan on leaving the workforce to raise children, it’s important to save as much as possible while you’re working. Financial experts advise women to work as long as possible, at the highest salary possible, to ensure they save enough for retirement.

Emergency fund – If you don’t have an emergency savings account, it’s time to open one ASAP. Financial experts recommend saving three to six months of expenses in the event that you suddenly lose your job or have an unforeseen medical emergency.

The key is to start off small. A few thousands a month can add up to a nice safety net a few years down the road. Consider savings options outside of your bank. Money market accounts and CDs offer higher interest rates and take several days to access, which will keep you from using the funds for impulsive purchases.

Marriage – In 2013, the average couple spent 1 Million on their wedding. These extravagant behaviors have caused many couples to enter marriage with debts.

To avoid this, it’s best to create a budget with your partner, stick with it, and start saving immediately. Avoid maxing out taking out loans. If you fall short of your budget, ask family members or even ask your guests to contribute some money. DO NOT set amounts for them to give. But it is always best to work with what you have.

Maternity leave – It’s not uncommon for first-time parents to take extra time off from work. Before that happens, it’s important to plan with your partner how you’ll support your family while on leave.

Employers are required by law to offer parents at least 12 weeks of paid, job-protected maternity and paternity leave, statistically, mothers spend more time away from the workforce after the birth of a child than fathers do. But this is not enough to cater for your needs, so it’s always advisable to plan ahead.

Taking care of ageing parents – Studies have found that daughters take care of aging parents twice as much as sons do. Even if your parents have their retirement savings in place, it’s important to plan on how you’ll assist them when they get older – whether through financial support or at-home care. It may also be wise to consider getting long-term-care insurance to prevent future health costs from becoming a burden down the road.

Somalia gets its first ever ATM

Somalia’s first-ever cash withdrawal machine has been installed in the capital, Mogadishu.

The Mogadishu-based Salaam Somali Bank installed the machine in a hotel used by diaspora, foreigners and government officials.

Bank official Moalim Abukar told VOA Somali Service the machine will allow customers to withdraw money from their foreign accounts.

Abukar said that the installation of the ATM was “a big step forward” and it represents the growth and strength of Mogadishu’s business community.

Somalia has a rudimentary banking sector, with many people relying on remittances from abroad.

The national currency, the shilling, is almost worthless and many businessmen and foreigners deal in U.S. dollars.