Men advised to start a family before turning 35 to avoid their children having birth defects

Men should start a family before they age of 35 to avoid risk to their unborn babies, researchers claim.

A study tracking 40million babies found the risk of birth complications start to increase when fathers are in their mid-30s, and significantly rise from the age of 45.

For decades women have been told they will put their children at risk if they pursue a career first and leave it until they are older to have a family.

But the new study, published in the British Medical Journal, shows men should also take responsibility.

Researcher Professor Michael Eisenberg, of Stanford University School of Medicine, said: ‘We tend to look at maternal factors in evaluating associated birth risks.

‘But this study shows that having a healthy baby is a team sport, and the father’s age contributes to the baby’s health, too.’

He said once a father hits 35, there’s a slight increase in birth defects, but the risk increases more sharply as men age into their 40s and 50s.

This is because with every year that a man ages, he accumulates on two new mutations in the DNA of his sperm.

Compared with fathers between the ages of 25 and 34, infants born to men between the age of 35 and 44 were about five per cent more likely to be born premature or of low birth weight.

For men aged 45 or older they were 14 per cent more likely to be admitted to intensive care, 14 per cent more likely to be born prematurely, 18 per cent more likely to have seizures and 14 per cent more likely to have a low birth weight.

If a father was 50 or older, the likelihood that their infant would need ventilation upon birth increased by 10 per cent, and the odds that they would require intensive care increased by 28 per cent.

-Dailymail

Fathers take upto six months to bond with new borns’ Study shows

Kenyans recently marked fathers day but not all fathers are at a point where they can fully enjoy fatherhood since they have not been able to bond with their kids.

Fathers can often feel like a spare part when their first child born – but one leading expert wants men to know that their role is just as important as the mother’s.

Speaking to FEMAIL, author of the book The Life of Dad,said that a father bonding with his newborn can take even up to six months

‘It can take a good six months for a new dad to bond with their child but it’s crucial to remember that forming this father-child bond will happen, though you have to be willing to put in the time via interaction,’

‘The more input there is on your behalf, the quicker that a bond can form.’

Anna advices fathers to take a more active role in their child’s development and reveals the crucial tips they can use to be the best father they can be.

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1. Don’t feel like a spare part

The most important thing you can do as a parent is to really tune in to who your child is as an individual.

From the day your child is born, both mum and dad should spend time with the baby to get a two-way communication going.

This includes touching and stroking your baby to making eye contact as this releases chemicals that help form a bond between you both.

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Getting to understand your baby as an individual is the basis of attachment and it’s the fundamental foundation to build relationship with your baby.

Even as your child gets older, spending time and engaging with them to show that you’re being attentive to them and show that you are there helps to maintain the parent-child bond.

2. Communication is key

Two-way communication is the key to bonding with your baby.

With limited time off for parental leave, it can be harder if you’re a new father to connect with your baby than the mother, who already has a head start from giving birth and from breastfeeding.

It’s easy to mistake that your baby doesn’t like you if they start to cry when you’re holding them, but there is actually science behind this.

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Your brain releases beta-endorphins and oxytocin. It’s really key for dads to do this to build up the levels of these chemicals, as women have a head start from childbirth.

So how can you release these chemicals to bond with your baby? Two major things that you can do with your baby who is younger than six months are:

  • Baby massage – this give dads an Oxytocin hit.
  • Talk, sing and read to your baby – whilst this might seem silly as your baby can’t respond to you, you’ll be building attachment with the child as they will get to know you by hearing your voice and getting used to your touch.

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If your child is six months or older, then you’re able to play with your child to bond with them. There is one type of play you can do called ‘rough and tumble play’. This is the exuberant, energetic play, such as tickling and bouncing your child up and down.

These activities don’t need to take hours, even if it’s just for five to ten minutes at a time you’re still bonding with your baby.

What’s most important is that this time with your baby is uninterrupted, so put your phone to one side and give your child all of your attention.

Over the past 10 years my research has found that for new fathers, it takes them a while to find a bond with their child.

According to Daily Mail it can take a good six months for a new dad to bond with their child but it’s crucial to remember that forming this father-child bond will happen, though you have to be willing to put in the time via interaction. The more input there is on your behalf, the quicker that a bond can form.

Becoming a father is a massive life change so it’s absolutely normal not to feel a strong connection with your baby straightway.  

3. Don’t give up

When times get tough, it can be difficult to know how to stay motivated to form bonds with children.

As a parent, you’ll always experience highs and lows and it can be tricky to know how to stay motivated to be there and form a special bond with your child.

No matter how old your child is, whether they’re a newborn or school age, you should:

  • Remember how important you are to your child.
  • Find support for yourself, take time out for yourself or as a couple and use help from people who offer to babysit. Times can be tough when you don’t get enough sleep and you might start to think why you became a dad or why you’re with your partner when you have a screaming baby.

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  • Give yourself SPACE! It’s okay to take a step back and all parents will feel that. Do something you enjoy, even if it’s just ten minutes to relax.
  • Always remember how rewarding a baby’s smile can be. Your child’s smile can make everything better.
  • Risk-take with your child. Resilience is important to a teenager. Being there as a father and investing in time with a teenager is a good contributor in them with self-esteem.

As your child grows older, the main role of nurturing and challenging will not change.

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Time and attention is important and vital. Activities that you do together don’t have to be anything expensive or elaborate, it could be something simple as dog walking, cooking dinner together or simply taking the time to talk with your child

4. Practice makes perfect

Parenthood is always going to be daunting for both you and your partner, especially if it’s your first time becoming parents.

Baby manuals, as a starting point, are fine. You’ve evolved to become a parent and these guides are there to help you out.

There’s a lot to learn when you have a baby but care and love towards a child is instinctive, something which both parents will have, and this will help you tune into your child. Because of this, you shouldn’t overly rely on manuals.

Listening to what you need as a parent and what your child needs is really important and because a baby manual is not based on you or your baby, what a book might recommend might be the complete opposite to what you need to do as a parent.

Books are great in many ways as they provide practical tips but it’s essential to use your own instincts and learn to bond with your baby. After all, biology prepares us to be parents.

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 How to be the be best father you can be

1.Give yourself time .

2.Every father has a unique role 

Whilst the mother’s role is to nurture and care for the child, the dad has a unique role – to help their child leave the family and explore the world and by challenging them to survive as an individual.

Fathers should be pushing their children to develop and learn new skills they need to interact with other people.

3.The role of dad could be anyone

Dad is anyone who steps up to take the job, whether it’s a biological dad, the mother’s current partner, an uncle or even grandfather for example.

Daily Mail

Hilarious! Kenyan Men Reveal Why Their Fathers Can Never Say “I Love You” To Them (AUDIO)

Dear men, has your father ever told you that he loves you, and if not, have you ever told him those three words and how did it turn out?

Well, today on the morning conversation, Larry Asego revealed how his father recently told him that he loves him, something that he has never done in his life.

According to Larry, his father is the typical kind of African men who do not believe in some cultures like men going to the kitchen or cooking, or telling their children; “I love you.”

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This is what he said;

Yesterday my dad sent me a text message telling me that he loves me. I was so shocked and taken aback, that I had to call my siblings to ask them if he had told them the same thing, and apparently, he did.

In my entire life, I have never heard my dad say those three words because he’s a typical African man, who doesn’t believe in such.

Then, I called my mum and told her about it, and she just laughed.

So, let me ask you, has your father ever told you that he loves you? And have you ever told your dad that you love him, and if yes, how did he react?

According to Mwalimu King’ang’i, African men never say this three words.

Male listeners called Larry and all of them confessed that it was a hard off for their fathers to tell them such words, with some saying that fathers back in the day, were very strict and others even considered it a taboo.

Listen to the audio below as Kenyan men talk about this rare show of affection from fathers.

 

 

Fathers are more likely to feed children junk food when their mother is away

Ever worry about what your other half gives the children for dinner when your back is turned?

Your misgivings could be well-founded – if you’re a mother.

Research suggests that mums and dads are not equally concerned about ensuring their children eat healthily.

While mothers generally try to make nutritious meals, fathers are more likely to serve up a quick ready meal or takeaway when they are in charge, a survey found.

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They are also more likely to give in to their children wheedling for a chocolate bar or ice cream – and children are only too happy to exploit their fathers’ lack of commitment to a good diet.

Health campaigns focus on the importance of eating nutritious meals at home. But the sociologists behind the survey found dietary standards tend to drop when mothers are not there to enforce them.

The researchers, from Stanford University in the US, interviewed 44 families which had at least one teenage son or daughter. Each family member was quizzed on eating habits and how these changed depending on which parent was in charge.

Enjoying some Domino's Pizza

In 41 of the 44 families – 93 per cent – both children and parents said the father’s dietary standards were much lower than the mother’s. Publishing the findings in the journal Appetite, researcher Priya Fielding-Singh said: ‘Mothers are seen as committed to healthy eating, while fathers are often perceived as a barrier to it.

‘They often turn to quick, less healthy options – such as fast food and processed meals – explicitly avoided by mothers. Teenagers are not only aware of these distinct parental approaches but exploit them. When they crave less healthy products restricted by mums, they turn to dads.

‘In obliging these requests, dads can undermine mums’ attempts at healthy eating.’

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Miss Fielding-Singh said although many modern fathers play a bigger role in housework, family meal planning is still largely down to mums. And fathers tend to be more focused on getting their children to eat the right amount, rather than worrying about what they are eating.

She added: ‘Fathers may be less likely to place limits on snacks. And conventional masculinity norms discourage fathers from engaging in healthy behaviours.’

Some of the fathers interviewed admitted being unaware of what their teenage children were eating, while others admitted they cared less about it than their wives.

‘Many mothers, particularly working mothers, wish fathers would do more “foodwork”,’ she said. ‘But they also fear his greater involvement would pose a risk to the children’s’ dietary health.’

Previous studies showed children whose fathers eat fast food are more likely to eat it too, while having an overweight dad increases the risk of a child being obese.

Are Single Women Unfit For Dating or Marriage?

Based on a recent article on one of the dailies, people have given very harsh comments about single mothers and the reasona why they are unfit to be dated.

According to the article, the rate of single parents has increased in Kenya and the highest number of single parents happen to be women.

Some of the comments given include, single mothers  are let overs, unwanted, and their success is  attributed to their ex husbands.

These women are run-marriageable, un-dateable, and they depend on men for money etc.

Some of the women say that they are single parents by choice, but for some it is because their men left.

It has also been said that it is easier for a single man with a child  to remarry but not a single mother

I think it is a little bit harsh for people to judge single mothers because it is hard enough to be a parent and it’s especially harder when you are raising a child alone with no help.

Here are some of the views:

 

Twin brother become fathers on the same day

Twin brothers from Wolverhampton have defied odds of 150,000 – 1 to become dads to baby boys born on the same day – in the same hospital.

Jeromme and Jarrell Spence, from Fordhouses, became fathers within hours of each other at New Cross Hospital in the early hours of this morning.

The twins, aged 21, knew their partners were both having a baby boy, and both had the same due date, but they didn’t believe they would arrive on the same day.

Jeromme became a father first when his partner delivered Cameron at 2.04am and then Jarrell’s son was born at 4.34am.

Both babies were born in the same room and in the same water pool, delivered by the same midwife.

Source : itv

When Couples Fight, It Affects Fathers More

Husbands and fathers, take note

Men, it is frequently said, are very good at compartmentalizing—usually when they’ve done something wrong. But new research suggests women can compartmentalize too, especially around family.

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology looked at the effect marital squabbling had on parents’ relationships with kids.

The researchers found, not surprisingly, that when a couple fights, that spills over to the relationship each parent has with his or her offspring.

But, interestingly, this effect does not last very long for moms.

By the next day, most mother-child relationships were back on an even keel, while the fathers still reported things were tense.

READ MORE: http://time.com/3086579/bad-marriages-affect-kids-and-fathers/

Men can be maternal too! Neuroscientist reveals

Photo courtesy of bfabp.com

It’s often said that mothers share a special maternal bond with their child that is unmatched by others, including the father, despite his paternal role.

But a study says that men can actually have just as strong a bond with their child, especially in the absence of the mother.

And it could force a re-think on the role dads can play in the development of children.

A study by a researcher at Oregon State University says that men can take on the role of being a mother. Dr Saturn says that when a mother is absent, perhaps through divorce, the father assumes the role. This is in addition to playing the role of father as well – they can do both

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2709505/Men-maternal-Neuroscientist-reveals-fathers-care-children-just-mothers.html#ixzz38vxBzsXa