How to celebrate Mother’s day without your mother

Not everyone will be able to enjoy the physical presence of their mom as we mark Mothers Day this coming weekend.

She may have passed on, or she may be living far away or have abandoned her family.

For these reasons, we might not want to celebrate this special day but that shouldn’t be the case because no matter what, a mother will always hold that special connection to you.

Just celebrate her.

Here are some of the ways you could celebrate Mothers day, all of them may not work for you but one or two may help you get through the day.

1. Make one of her favorite foods

We all have childhood memories that always involve food. Make her favorite recipe and use that in remembrance of your mother.

It will remind you of the good times and that will put a smile on your face.

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Fun things to do with your mother for mother’s day!

2. Send a gift to yourself that will remind you of her

Did she love roses, cake, chocolates, ice-cream, perfume or that cute watch?

Send yourself a gift that will remind you of her every-time you hold it close to you.

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3. Visit one of her favorite places

Did she love the movies, travelling, picnics or hiking? By doing one of the things she loved to do, it may help you feel more closely connected to her.

This may help you connect in a deeper way by seeing things through her eyes.

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4. Treat Mother’s Day like it is and acknowledge the day

By accepting this day, it means that you are healing and that you are allowing yourself to feel all the emotions that come with this day.

Some of the memories may not be pleasant remembering but by feeling the emotions, it gives you space to reconnect with your inner self and also with her.

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5. Be kind with yourself

You might be blaming yourself for many things that may have happened in the past.

You might be blaming yourself for the misunderstandings that may have occurred in your relationship.

However, even with all the conflicts in your mind, be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, allow yourself to heal and celebrate her anyway.

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Fun things to do with your mother for mother’s day!

Mothers day which happens to be on 12th May is just around the corner and most if not all the times, it catches us by surprise, Well not any more!

Now that I have reminded you that the day is near, you might be racking your brain what to surprise her with on this big day yes?

It might be easy to fall for the normal usual things that have been happening over the years, but we can try and make this year a little different?

Well you do not have to worry about that anymore,

Here is a list of some of the things the both of you could do on this day.

1. Take a mini vacation

Most of the times our mothers are always busy trying to make everything work in our homes.

Take her out for mini road-trip or vacation to let her relax and simply to make her feel special on that mini trip. It’s her day and she needs all the rest and relaxation she can get while at it.

 

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Bahati and Diana Marua are definitely serving us couple goals in Dubai!

2. Book a family photo shoot

Who doesn’t like a photo shoot or a family picture? Well this might be your opportunity to get one.

Go for that fancy make-overed  photo-shoot you have been meaning or procrastinating for a while. This will create new memories for you and your mother.

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3. Go see a movie

When old age kicks in, they tend to forget the little pleasures of life. Remind her how it feels like to have fun or to just enjoy their time.

For instance you could take her for a movie and just make sure she has the time of her life.

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4. Plan a picnic

A little relaxation for a mother goes a long way and a picnic to just cook and spoil her is a perfect idea to make this work.

Take her for that mini picnic lunch and just make sure that she has fun but above all she gets all the love and relaxation she will need.

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5. Pamper Her

Take her out, treat her to a massage or a spa date, get her gifts, buy her roses, make her dress up and all that. Make it a little different for her and treat her like the queen that she is.

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Six steps any woman facing divorce MUST take

 

 

London leading divorce lawyer, Lisa Pepper of Osbornes Law has revealed there are three important areas to take care of: finances, children and evidence.

And she said that you shouldn’t wait to come to a final decision with your partner, you should act straight away to be prepared if the worst happens.

‘I often wish clients had come to see me six months earlier, when divorce was only a possibility, as there are practical steps clients could take to protect themselves,’ she told Femail.

 

1. DON’T CUT BACK ON SPENDING

It’s counterintuitive at a time when you may want to save your pennies, but if you think a split is on the cards, don’t cut back on expenditure.

Both parties will be required to produce a budget in order for the Court to establish if spousal maintenance needs to be paid.

In cutting back beforehand, you are essentially helping the other party say you ‘need’ less money coming in each month.
You can also protect yourself by ensuring that your laptop/smartphone/anything with financial information on is covered by a password, and keeping all printed documents secure.

Equally, resist the temptation to snoop on your spouse – in recent years the Family Court has been much tougher on people who do.

2. SPEND MORE TIME WITH CHILDREN

If you are the main breadwinner and see much less of your kids, keep a diary of the time you do spend with them – whether days out, or helping with maths homework. It all counts.

If you work full-time, consider if you could work at home one day a week, or reduce your hours to see more of your children, and cut down on any hobbies that take you away from them. In short, do anything you can to spend more time with your kids.

3. ENCOURAGE A RETURN TO WORK

If your spouse stays at home, do what you can to support them returning to work. If they want a career change, encourage a vocation that is lucrative. A psychotherapist or interior designer is less likely to be able to be self-sufficient.

Teaching can be a good option for a parent, given the childcare needed in the summer holidays, however you can also discuss other childcare options.

4. THINK BEFORE YOU TEXT

It’s all about creating a good impression for a judge who does not know you outside of the court room.

So, when you communicate, think before you write. Any text messages, emails, or even social media posts can be used against you, so avoid writing anything in anger.

 

By all means, have a vent and write it down, but don’t hit send until the heat of the moment has passed. It’s often preferable to have a face to face conversation.

5. CUT DOWN ON ALCOHOL

At a time of stress, it is easy to reach for a glass of wine or two in the evenings to help you unwind. This can add up and in children cases, you can face allegations of alcohol or substance abuse making you a risk to your children.

If you submit to testing (and it’s difficult not to, as the Judge will be very suspicious otherwise) then a hair sample is taken (blood and urine can be also).

One centimeter of hair growth is roughly equivalent to a months’ consumption; so the longer your hair, the further back the testing can go.

6. DO NOT ACCEPT ABUSE

Finally, and importantly, take action if you are in an abusive relationship. No one should suffer abuse at the hands of a loved one. No one has the right to abuse. If you’re in that situation, get help now.

Keep a diary of any verbal or hysical abuse and don’t be abusive yourself. Go for a walk to cool down, if it comes to it.

If you are being physically abused, go to see your doctor and the police. Contemporaneous third-party records of what’s been going on are good evidence too, otherwise it’s your word against theirs.

Dailymail

These celebrities vacation with their current spouses and exes

 

Girls, if your man wanted his baby mama to tag along for a holiday, would you be okay with that?

It may sound bizzare to you, but there are people out here living this situation, in the name of blended families.

Here is a list of celebrities who have done so

1. Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz

They were open about taking his first baby mama on holiday with them.

Swizz took his wife Alicia Keys, their son Egypt, his son with Mashonda, Kasseem Jr., his oldest son Nasir and his only daughter Nicole, plus her mom Jahna Sebastian, on an ultra-plush vacation to Paris, France to visit Disneyland Paris.

The babay mama made claims Alicia slept with producers to make music, while while she dated Swizz when he was together with Alicia.

2. Jada Pinkett and Will Smith

Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk Facebook Watch series she revealed they take the mother of his first born son on vacation.

Jada revealed that she’s 100% comfortable with her husband Will Smith vacationing with his ex wife, Sheree Fletcher, even when she’s not there.

Jada explained, “I feel as though Trey needs to feel that dynamic between his two parents. That’s very important that he can feel that connection and feel where they do meet. So he can feel that parental connection. I think that’s important. They actually just came off of one. She went to Jordan and Israel with them.”

3. Singer Christina Milan (Lil waynes ex)

She broke up with him, and hooked up with a man with eight other baby mama’s.

The singer recently shared pictures of the blended family on vacation.

4. P Diddy

He always writes personalized messages to each baby mama and openly shares pictures of the happy blended family as hey hang out on his yatch.

5. Kourtney Kardashian

She invited her ex husband Scott Dissick on holiday and he even brought along his girlfriend Sophia Richie. They were heavily trolled for this, but she insists it’s for the good of the family.

 

 

Suicide does run in families – study

Highlights of the study

– Scientists think that whether or not someone can become suicidal is tied to their genes, environment and experience

– Previous studies have suggested, separately, that psychiatric disorders like bipolar disorder increases suicide risks and run in families

– New National Institutes of Health research found that families with a pattern of suicide attempts also tend to have social anxiety in common

– The researchers believe that these tendencies could help identify at-risk people who would otherwise slip between the cracks

Suicide may run in families that tend to suffer from mental illnesses, a new study finds.

The new study, conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), suggests that families in which social anxiety is more common may also be at greater risk for suicide attempts.

The researchers believe that this knowledge could help doctors catch at-risk individuals who might otherwise slip between the cracks of prevention efforts.

In the grander scheme of health research, it’s only recently that we have discovered that a handful of rare diseases are caused by a one or several specific genes.

And it is even more recently that we’ve begun to gain a rudimentary understanding of mental illness.

Suicide risks are still poorly understood and often overlooked.

As best we can tell, mental illnesses are predicated on a perfect storm of genetic and environmental factors.

The NIH recently discovered that major depression, bipolar disorder, autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and schizophrenia all share some genes that put some at higher risk of the disorders than others.

And some of these mental disorders can be predictors of suicide attempt and death risks, too.

They also tend to run in families.

To investigate whether suicide runs in families, researchers at the NIH conducted the largest study to-date interviewing family members of 119 adults and their families about their histories of mental illness and suicide attempts and deaths.

Prior research has shown links between various psychiatric disorders and suicidal tendencies, and psychiatric disorders themselves do tend to run in families.

But the new study uncovered new patterns common to members of the same families.

The researchers found that when suicide seemed to run in a family, so did feelings of social anxiety – a trend that hadn’t been established previously.

Links between the two were even more potent when family members also had a psychiatric disorder, most notably, bipolar disorder.

These parallel tendencies suggested to the scientists that ‘people with these traits could have greater reactivity to social loss or disruption.’

Because social anxiety is fueled by difficulty processing negative emotions, the finding suggests that both shared social conditioning and inherited brain functions may be at play in introducing suicide risks into a family.

Or, these family members could have shared an outsize amount of trauma and stress in their shared pasts – making them more vulnerable to suicidal ideation.

Family patterns are hardly a one-size-fits-all diagnostic tool, however,  the researchers wrote.

On the other hand, their discovery suggested that including a finer analysis of family histories, personalities and experiences might help doctors catch individuals at-risk for suicide that otherwise would have slipped through the cracks.

‘The broader association of mental disorders with familial environment suggests that risk research that focuses solely on individual-level biomarkers, susceptibility genes, or neural architecture may be unable to identify suicide risk without accounting for the contextual association with vulnerability to proximal life challenges,’ they wrote.

Dailymail

Heartbroken baby screams in agony after father shaves off dreadlocks

A baby broke down in tears after seeing his dad for the first time without dreadlocks.

A video shared on Twitter by @aristew, has gone viral.

The 16-second clip sees the adorable baby sitting in a high-chair when his father walks in to show him his new haircut.

As the father says ‘hi’, the baby looks up at his dad and sees him without dreadlocks for the first time ever.

When he realizes his father’s long hair is gone, the baby erupts into tears.

He can be seen cradling his own head while sobbing uncontrollably.

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It is understood that the father of the child previously had his hair styled in dreadlocks, and was unveiling his new trim haircut to his son for the first time when the funny incident occurred.

Taken by a woman, most likely the mother or a relative of the child, the clip then pans over to the side of the room.

As the father of the child enters, the baby can be seen turning his head to look at him.

The man can be heard saying ‘hi’ as the adorable little boy stares up at him.

And although the baby might have initially been looking forward to seeing his father, things quickly changed.

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Locking eyes on his dad, the adorable little boy realizes that his dad no longer has dreadlocks.

Instead, he is sporting a short, tight haircut.

And when the child realizes that his father has a new look, he isn’t happy about it.

The tiny baby turns his head back toward the camera and lets out a sigh before he holds his head and begins crying.

He then begins sobbing uncontrollably, before turning around to take another look at his dad’s new hairdo.

Dailymail

8-month-old dies after being fed vodka by his mum so she could go party

An eight month old died after his mother refused to take him to hospital after giving him vodka so that he could sleep.

The mother, who is currently being investigated by police, fed him vodka to make him sleep so she could party, leading to his death.

Mother Nadezhda Yarych allegedly gave her baby son Zakhar vodka to drink so he could sleep and not bother her as she partied over the holiday period in the town of Shebekino in western Russia’s Belgorod Oblast region.

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According to reports, Zakhar had fallen ill and his mother then took him to a local hospital.

The doctors reportedly checked the baby, finding he had a viral infection and suggesting hospitalisation but Yarych is said to have refused, saying she preferred to treat the child at home.

TNadezhda reportedly took Zakhar to the hospital four times within a week but refused to hospitalise him every time.

Sources close to the family told local media that Yarych refused to hospitalize her son as she did not want to spend the holiday period celebrations in hospital with her baby.

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On 5th January, the child died and according to a postmortem examination, the child’s death was caused by a viral infection.

Police started investigating the mother and her husband Mikhail Yarych, who is the stepfather of her baby who was reportedly aware of the situation but did nothing to help the child.

Police have not commented on the matter yet. The investigation is ongoing and no arrests have been reported.

Daily Mail

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Mother’s prefer daughters, and fathers prefer sons – but the female bias is stronger study says

Parents are supposed to love all their children equally – but subconsciously, they may be biased, a new study suggests.

Women really do prefer daughters, and men (slightly) prefer sons, according to new research from Finnish and American scientists.

Women were significantly more likely to see girls as ‘good’ and invest more money in them, while men showed a slight preference for sons.

And their findings may show the ripple effects of social changes that are – subconsciously – leading parents to prefer their daughters over sons.

Measuring people’s honest preferences accurately is notoriously difficult, but the latest study is part of a growing body or research that uses cleverly constructed tests to reveal real feelings – and suggesting that girls are gaining ground.

‘People can talk about their preferences, but they don’t always know and they may be lying to themselves,’ says lead study author, Dr Robert Lynch of the University of Turku in Finland.

‘They say one thing and act differently, and a lot of research on this topic shows that in a lot of cultures they “we really prefer our sons,” but they do the opposite, and [act as though] they prefer their daughters.’

So Dr Lynch and his team asked 347 women and 423 men about their (explicit) preference for a male or female child, and used a simple test to gauged their subconscious, or implicit, preferences.

In the test, they showed a series of rapid-fire images of baby girls and boys to the participants, and asked to categorize them with subtly positive or negative adjectives.

When asked outright, women had a fairly clear preference for daughters, while men had a slight preference for sons.

In the rapid-fire picture test, ‘you categorize “girl” and “little girl” and “baby girls” with “good” way faster than you categorize pictures of baby boys with good words,’ says  Dr Lynch.

‘Women really do [have a preference for daughters], and men sort of do [for sons].’

This was not at all what the research team – comprised of Dr Lynch, as well as his colleagues at Arizona State University University and Rutgers University (which provided funding for the work) – expected to find.

In fact, it wasn’t even the bias they were looking for. The scientists were trying to measure whether Trivers–Willard hypothesis was true.

That theory states that wealthier parents will prefer sons, while poorer families will prefer daughters.

‘But we didn’t find any of that,’ says Dr Lynch.

Though his study did not ask people to explain their preferences, he suspects that a number of social and cultural shifts have tilted the bias scales toward girls.

‘Girls are, first of all, more valuable,’ Dr Lynch says.

‘They are doing better in schools, especially in countries like the US where many opportunities for girls have really increased.’

Participants in his study were also more willing to invest money in charities that supported girls and women – overwhelmingly so for female participants.

Some theories suggest that people inherently invest more of their time in a child of the same sex because that time is more ‘efficiently’ spent.

Dr Lynch, who has two sons and one daughter, says: ‘If I invest one hour in my daughter Phoebe or in my son, William, I’m more familiar with the things that boys need to know, to what’s more helpful to being a guy.

‘So that hour is better spent with my son. And the opposite is true of my wife.’

That has changed to some extent, though, as women have gained more access to and acceptance in more traditionally ‘masculine’ activities.

‘Fathers may be able to connect with them through things like increased participation in sports,’ says Dr Lynch.

‘I can play soccer with my daughter, where I don’t know if that would’ve been true 50 years ago.’

That expansion hasn’t seemed to happen symmetrically for activities that boys and their mothers can share.

Such parent biases may not cause any significant harms to children in two-parent homes.

But it may meant that children of single parents are ‘missing out,’ and that’s disproportionately true for sons of single mothers.

‘If you don’t have both your mom and your dad, it could be quite costly, especially for boys who are growing up without dads,’ Dr Lynch says.

‘We see it in social mobility studies: poor boys are just far less mobile, especially poor, black boys in the US are far less socially mobile than poor black girls, and its a potential effect of single parenting.’

This may be particularly important given that more than 80 percent of single parents are mothers and black women are twice as likely to be raising their kids alone as white women are.

‘You could maybe correct for that bias, though,’ says Dr Lynch, though he declined to offer advice on how to do so.

‘If you’re a single parent, though, I think you have a moral responsibility to be aware of it.’

Young sisters, aged 17 and 20, become first-time mothers on the same day

Two young sisters became first time mum’s just hours apart in the same hospital when they went into labour on the same day.

Lauren Brennan, 20, had baby girl Sofia just hours after her younger sister Lily, 17, gave birth to Jaiden.

The sisters, from Bootle, Merseyside, were originally scheduled to be induced 12 days apart.

So as planned, Lauren went in to Liverpool Women’s Hospital on March 23.

From left to right: The sister's father Phillip Brennan, Lauren with Sofia, Lily with Jaiden and mother Karen Kennedy
From left to right: The sister’s father Phillip Brennan, Lauren with Sofia, Lily with Jaiden and mother Karen Kennedy
Lauren (left) and Lily (right) both gave birth in the Liverpool Women's Hospital just hours apart
Lauren (left) and Lily (right) both gave birth in the Liverpool Women’s Hospital just hours apart

But Lily’s baby boy just couldn’t wait to meet his cousin and decided to come early, as she went into labour on the same day.

She gave birth in Liverpool Women’s Hospital at 12.19pm, just hours before her sister Lauren, who had her baby girl at 5.31pm.

Father and now grandfather Phillip Brennan, 47, said: ‘I am over the moon. I am made up, I really am.

‘I have been looking forward to being a grandad for what feels like ages. I am smiling like a big Cheshire cat.’

Mr Brennan said he was ‘supportive’ when his daughters told him they were pregnant, but said Lily did try and keep it a secret from him.

Lily proudly shows off baby Jaiden, who was born at 12.19pm and weighed 7lbs 5oz.
Lily proudly shows off baby Jaiden, who was born at 12.19pm and weighed 7lbs 5oz.
Lauren gave birth hours later, giving birth to baby Sofia at 5.31pm
Lauren gave birth hours later, giving birth to baby Sofia at 5.31pm

He told the Liverpool Echo: ‘Lauren was sat on the couch crying her eyes out when she told me and I just said ‘what are you crying for? These things happen’.

‘I was made up for her. And then a couple of months later I knew about our Lily, but she didn’t want to tell me.

‘You have got to support your children.’

Mr Brennan said on the day of the births, Lily had gone to the hospital with Lauren as she prepared to be induced.

She left to go home and meet her friends, but when she got home her waters broke.

Proud grandparents Mr Brennan and his partner Karen Kennedy with their grandchildren
Proud grandparents Mr Brennan and his partner Karen Kennedy with their grandchildren

She was taken to hospital and mother Karen Kennedy, who was already at hospital with Lauren, then had to split her time between her two daughters.

Lily, a former pupil at Hillside High School, Bootle, gave birth to baby Jayden, who weighed 7lbs 5oz.

And just five hours later Lauren welcomed little Sophia, weighing 6lbs 14oz.

Speaking about becoming a first-time mum, Lauren said: ‘It’s really good and Sophia is doing really well.

‘I was really shocked when Lily went into labour. My mum and dad have both been a big help.’

Phillip, who said Lauren and Lily have been staying at the family home until they are settled, said: ‘I am waiting until I can finally have my bed back.

‘I have been on the couch, but it is fine – I am enjoying it all.

‘Lauren is moving back in to her own house today and I am going to move in with her for a little while to help.

‘We are all made up.’