Financial confession: My wife’s Sh1million loan is ruining our lives

It is no secret that money and the lack of it ruins marriages.

Money issues arise in relationships, that people who say they’re experiencing stress in their relationship cite finances as the number one reason — easily beating out the second place contender: annoying habits, according to a study by SunTrust. Money issues are also responsible for 22% of all divorces, making it the third leading cause, according to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysis.

A man on Classic 105 got emotional speaking about his baby mama

Now I have a story to share today. Now I have this lady we have three baby together, I work in the disciplined forces so we are basically earning almost the same amount Now I’ve worked my way all through, I have a masters degree She has nothing. Now I assessed her payslip recently she took a loan of one million I never saw that money I do not know where it went.

Accessing her gmail you know these apps have they usually send reminders and notifications I found the statement there I don’t know what to do coz she is so much into debt she wants all my salary. I’ve built a home for her. I don’t know where she takes her money.

‘We face pressure from friends wearing Sh80,000 wigs’, confesses woman

Don’t they ever have this conversation as a couple?


‘she does things behind my back. I have given up, when I ask her, she says it’s her business and I have seen nothing that she has bought. I don’t know where the money goes,

The question for spouses is

Is your relationship suffering because your partner is a heavy borrower? 

Ho do you deal with a financially irresponsible partner?

When your spouse is deep in debt, what do you do?

Also read more here


How do you deal with a financially irresponsible spouse Maina asks


Women and their money spending habits formed the basis for the morning conversation Tuesday morning with Maina asking listeners

Is your relationship suffering because your partner is a heavy borrower? 

A man desperate to save his wife’s handling of finances moved Maina Kageni.

He told Maina

‘Our relationships are suffering because of these money apps. The government should consider closing them.’  These are the complains that Maina received from men this morning.

Most of the men were of opinion that most of the ladies take loans that are beyond their ability when it comes to pay back. They borrow money for luxury that at times one cannot be accountable for the money breakdown. Some go to an extent of giving out their properties such as laptops, computers, televisions and phones which they later lose because they are unable to pay.


One of the men who called said, ‘my wife can spend a lot of money but she can not even show a shoe lace she bought.’

‘I usually thought that women paid their loans back on time,‘ Maina said. This however was not the case as per what the callers were saying. One of the money lenders who called confirmed that 80% of his customers were women.

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He revealed

Most of these ladies borrow money to enhance their own looks like going to salon not even for family use.

They bring their collateral to him and then he never see’s them again hence he ends up selling the items.

One should borrow money that they are able to pay back and be used in a responsible way, he told Maina.

Th ladies also contributed tot he topic.

One said that even though they borrowed this money they also know how to save. Most of the time they borrowed the money they used it in chamas. One of the lady callers said, Maina the competitions is stiff among us ladies. I once had to borrow money to buy a wig that i saw someone with.

Other callers were of opinion that the money apps are of help especially when used in a reasonable way.

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Other comments were;

I borrowed money to buy a car and later own paid back. One should borrow money and pay it back on time and nowadays a car is not luxury.

Most of these ladies borrow money to enhance their own looks like going to salon not even for family use.

Read more:

Kenyan women using home electronics for quick loans with shylocks


That 65 inch TV in your beautiful home could easily be sold off to pay a loan your wife took without your consent.

Almost 80 percent of customers seeking money from shylocks are women, according to one money lender who confessed how he is making a killing from Kenyan women.

The shylock who did not want to disclose his name revealed on Classic 105 that his customers are women who need quick cash for unnecessary things.

The man admitted wives are approaching him give out their home electronics as security for a loan.

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I works as shylock and I can tell you Maina that women borrow yet they haven’t planned on the money they are borrowing. Almost 80 per cent are women and they most of them end up selling the items they left as security.

What do they bring to him as collateral?

He responded, ‘Electronics, you can imagine that they just take a small percentage of the item.

they come with excuses until they can’t pay and you can imagine someone got an item worth 20k but borrowed 3k and they are unable to pay back. 

I think on my mind they lose the items because the money they borrowed wasn’t planned how to be used, 

Many of the women fail to repay loans and lose the electronics.

The man added money lenders are making a killing over unpaid loans courtesy women taking loans recklessly.

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The man wanted to know if husbands are aware their wives are living beyond their means.

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How to organize your budget with the 50/20/30 rule 

– The budgeting rule is a simple way to keep spending in check with savings goals

– The guideline is great for those who are new to the world of money management

– Concept allows people to get a handle on personal finance without much effort

The 50/20/30 rule is a guide to distributing your income and it works to give you a clear sense of where your financial priorities lie.

The idea is that as much as 50 per cent should to be spent on essentials, 20 per cent ferreted away for savings and the remaining 30 per cent dedicated to lifestyle.

Here, FEMAIL takes a look at the unique concept and reveals just how easy it is to create an organised budgeting plan.

Essentials – 50 per cent of your income

The cornerstone of this rule is to set aside 50 per cent of your net income (income after tax) for essential living.

And while this might seem like a lot, it’s a sum that includes the absolute necessities in life – those you would be paying out no matter what your life circumstances.

According to budgeting website Mint: ‘In general, these expenses are nearly the same for everyone and include housing, food, transportation costs and utility bills.’

This category is strictly for needs – those payments that would severely impact your life if you were to forego them. Anything else falls into the category of wants.

Savings – 20 per cent of your income

The remaining 50 per cent of your money is split two ways.

Twenty per cent is dedicated to savings, ahead of discretionary spending, to give you a chance to build some reserves.

Here, you can decide whether you want to start a special fund, pay down mshwari/Tala debt, or do both.

‘Think of this as your “get ahead” category. Whereas 50 per cent (or less) of your income is the goal for essentials, 20 per cent – or more – should be your goal as far as obligations are concerned.’

Personal – 30 per cent of your income

The last category, 30 per cent, can be used for spending on wants.

While this might sound like the most fun part of the budget, it’s one that can be a little tricky.

The reason for this is that as well as discretionary spending – that’s spending on luxuries – this category may need to stretch to cover other expenses such as gym memberships, clothing or streaming service subscriptions.


Biggest money mistakes couples are making

Whether we like to admit it or not, money matters.

Australian financial adviser Melissa Browne, says being on the same page when it comes to finance is an essential ingredient for a lasting relationship.

Self described ‘author, speaker and shoe addict’ Ms Browne told the Daily Telegraph that although discussing money is often regarded as ‘uns3xy’, maintaining an open line of communication about finance is actually the key to a healthy, happy coupling.

And research shows that Ms Browne’s analysis is accurate – money is the number one cause of relationship arguments and on average, finance provokes three disagreements between couples every month.

‘I believe that if you really want to have a healthy relationship, you eventually need to have the talk about money,’ the accounting firm CEO said.

Conversations about finance can feel awkward and uncomfortable for many people, especially with their significant other.

This can lead to problems further down the line, Melissa Browne believes, because couples don’t explore each other’s ‘money values’ to see if they are truly ‘financially compatible’.

While extreme generosity and spontaneity can be attractive qualities when we first meet somebody, differences in your beliefs on saving and spending can cause tension as the relationship progresses

Melissa Browne says that while most couple’s are happy to discuss fun spending subjects like holidays, conversations about serious issues like credit card debt or  saving for a mortgage are too-often avoided.

So how does the finance guru recommend changing our attitude to chatting about cash?

‘You just start,’ Ms Browne says frankly. 

‘By suggesting to your partner that money is the number one thing couples fight about and you want to ensure it’s not something that becomes an issue in your relationship, you are introducing the topic as a positive thing’

The accountant suggests starting on easy territory by discussing your own money values and how you were brought up to treat income and expenditure.

The financial planner believes that bringing transparency into a new relationship helps to reduce the risk of serious arguments later on, as you are introducing complete honesty when it comes to what you have, what you owe and perhaps most importantly, what you find easy or difficult when it comes to money.

Melissa Browne admits that while it may be awkward at first, bringing financial openness to your relationship needs to be something we are willing to do if we want the romance to develop in a healthy, trusting way.