Your Guide To Exiting An Abusive Relationship, 7 Tips

Almost all of us can relate to domestic violences stories because we have either been that woman in an abusive relationship, our mother’s have been there or someone close to us has gone through it. It is not as easy as many like to presume to walk out on such a relationship. Most often than not women will hang on because of financial desperation, some are afraid of ridicule, others are too afraid of their violent men while some have been brainwashed to believe they are not good enough.

No woman however should ever sit around in a violent marriage and hope that one day the man will change. If you are looking for an exit plan and do not know where to start, here are some tips

1. Contact the domestic violence centres/hotline
Centre for Rehabilitation of Abused Women (CREAW) is one such organization that helps victims of domestic violence. Contacting such a centre helps you gets ideas on the steps to take towards reporting such crimes and leaving that relationship. They offer counselling services and help victims leave abusive relationships.

2. Seek Medical Attention on all injuries
Getting hospital documentation for every injury caused to you is important as it acts as evidence against your abuser. Keep the medical records afterwards because they will help you when lodging a case.

3. Collect evidence of the abuse
If your man has been making threats to you make recordings of those threats, take photos of that black eye he caused in the last beating. Also keep all medical files they are good evidence

4. Reach out for help from friends
A friend is the similar situation as you may not be the best bet to get advice from but a sober friend who doesn’t condone violence. Be careful whom you confide in lest they go informing your abuser.  It will help keep your mind sane and give you an insight on the direction to take. Most domestic violence victims will often suffer in silence, yet talking to someone might actually present a solution.

5. Make savings
Some victims of domestic violence will often wonder how will i survive without money if i leave this man and the first step is putting money aside for your escape plan. It may take longer than expected especially if you do not have a job. If the violence persists before you can save enough, borrow from a trustworthy friend.

6. Master Your Abuser’s Schedule
You wouldn’t want to be caught while sneaking out all the suitcases and children so mastering the schedule to your abuser is key. It gives you an idea on the safe times to leave.

7. Look for a secure place to stay
You wouldn’t want your abuser trailing you after exiting and therefore finding a secure location is key, whether it means locating towns and finding a new job to start a fresh just do it. Also the evidence you collected while in the relationship comes in handy and would be used for collecting a restraining order and reporting the matter to the authorities

Does Every Married Woman Have An Exit Plan?

According to a study carried out in 2014, every married woman has a ‘Plan B’ who is mostly a man they have managed to keep waiting and can run to if their current relationship turns sour.

The ‘Plan B’ is usually an old friend who was madly in love with the woman previously and has patiently been waiting for the day the woman reciprocates his feelings.

This theory was supported this week in a discussion that Maina Kageni had with a group of his women friends. According to these ladies, every wise woman who has been married for more than 5 years has an EXIT plan.

The 5-year mark is significant because this is the time it takes a wife to know her husband really well and tell if she will be there for the long run.

According to one of our callers on Maina and King’ang’i in the morning, women mostly EXIT to hook up with other men. Ladies, are you married and plotting an exit?

Men, listen to the confession below