Is posting a photo with an ex and the child you share disrespectful to their new partner? (POLL)

When someone posts a TBT photo with an ex husbands/wife and the child they share, is it inappropriate and disrespectful?

Gospel singer Bahati was dragged for allowing Diana Marua to post a photo of her with his baby mama’s daughter. Everyone said it was wrong, and the two lovers unsucessfully tried to defend themselves to no avail.

Just before the Mother’s Day weekend festivities kicked off, actor Will Smith’s ex wife posted a TBT on Instagram of her, Will and their first born child.

Social media came for his ex-wife saying it’s disrespectful to his current wife Jada Pinkett.

Here are a few comments showing divided opinion.
Janice Moody ..No not at all, grown sensible folks realizes that when you marry someone that they had a past before they met their current mate. The fact that these two women can be decent and be in each other’s presence without hurling stupidity and nasty jabs speaks volumes about their maturity and character. Some people know how to act and can live and let live!!!

Tesh Jones ..People scream insecurity, but I wouldn’t want my husband taking pictures with his ex…child or not. I mean this is not only an ex but an ex who created another human being with him. We can all say we would be okay, but deep down our hearts would jump when we saw a pic of them looking like a happy family. Why does he have to post a picture with her in it? Isn’t this just a matter of respect?

Sunshine Wilson ..You can share a child with a man love the man for the child and not be in love with the man…. TRUST me …but insecurities and people judging according to their inner hoe perspective will think otherwise

Bethany Bebe.. It’s not the adults choice.. EVERY child deserves to see a picture of their parents together.. at one time they were in love and created their son.. He deserves family photos as well

Angela UnlikelyAngel Vilfrant ..How is that disrespectful when it was the past, it was a TBT picture!! we can’t change the past and I wouldn’t want her to.

Marti Salazar …No. I know guys who give credit to the mother of each child. They even take pics of all the children together. I have a friend who had a pic of her with her mom and stepmom together. She posted pics of herself with her stepmom when the lady died to honor her. Then, her mom posted that she lost her friend. So, children can have co-parents who get along.

Doris Lott Benson… Heck no it’s not disrespectful. You mean to tell me if your child wants to be in a picture with his mom and dad, you tell him NO because of your new boo, spouse or whatever?! Get outta here with that crap!
I think their example of a blended family is beau

Pare Bee… The difference between a baby mama and a mother finding common ground on which to co-parent her child. Also the difference between a bratty girl trying to “get at” her ex and a woman who knows to leave bitterness in the past and remember the good times for what they were.

Netra Bell… The child is an adult now, baby momma needs to get a life of her own (marriage). And stop being a third wheel. It’s obvious is is vicariously living the life she could of had, had she not divorced will smith through Jada Smith’s marriage.

 

Make your comments heard by taking this poll below.


Careful Now! This Is Why Having Lunch With Your Ex Is A Recipe For Jealousy To Your Current Partner

No folks, it’s not ‘just lunch’! Meeting up to dine with an ex will probably make your current partner wild with jealousy. There’s something about sharing food with a former love interest that’s threatening, a recent US study found.

Your partner might be OK with it if you chat to an old flame. But as soon as there’s food involved, the alarm bells start to ring.

Eating lunch or dinner with an ex could make your current squeeze more jealous than grabbing a coffee together or chatting over the phone. In fact, when it comes to jealousy, it’s sharing a meal with a former romance, not meeting them in person that seems to matter most, the US study showed.

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-Jealousy
Students, who were between 18 and 22 years old, were given hypothetical scenarios in which their current partner was contacted by an ex, either by e-mail, phone, over coffee or a meal. Then they were asked how jealous each scenario would make them. There was no difference between guy and girl students, researchers found.

It was no surprise that exchanging e-mails caused the least jealousy. But when their hypothetical partner met up with an ex for an hour-long coffee, the students were just as jealous as if they’d chatted on the phone for an hour. When it comes to relationships, it seems that there’s something about eating with an ex that ups feelings of jealousy.

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-Relationship threat
So what is it about sharing a meal that makes people so jealous? Research has shown that eating together is an important part of dating and romance, so it makes sense that the idea of a partner dining with an ex can cause some to worry.

People are always on the lookout for potential threats to their relationship and enjoying food with a former lover could mean unity on the part of both diners in a way that a coffee or phone conversation wouldn’t, researchers hypothesised.

If someone takes the time to have a meal with an ex it probably means they’re up for spending more time with them, and not just there because their ex-wants them to be. So eating with an ex could give people more reason to worry about losing their partner – and to be jealous.

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Love Matters

 

Wow! Jealous Man Viciously Beats Up His Ex After Faking Cancer To Lure Her To His Flat

A woman who rushed to her ex-boyfriend’s side when he said he had cancer discovered it was all a ploy when he brutally attacked her with a baseball bat.

Harley Wells, 23, from Kent, England was left bloodied and bruised after Perry Morris beat her when he found out she was in a new relationship. The hairdresser’s former partner was not sick at all but had invented the sob story to get Harley alone and interrogate her about her love life.

He flew into a jealous rage after she admitted to having a new man in her life, attacking her with a foot-long baseball bat and a crash helmet: ‘I’d gone over to his house believing he was dying, but ended up being the one nearly killed.’

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Harley dated Perry Morris (left, with her, in 2014) for nine months

The horrific photographs show Harley’s injuries from the brutal attack, leaving her with a broken knuckle, black eyes, and huge bruises all over her body.

When Harley first started dating Morris in February 2014, she said there we no signs of what he would become. ‘He seemed sweet and romantic, but just three months in, he became possessive and controlling. He would grill me about other men and hated me seeing friends or family.

After nine months together, Harley ended their relationship and things took a darker turn: ‘He was devastated and begged for another chance, but when I refused, he swore I’d regret it. It was a sign of things to come.’

Just weeks later, Morris spotted Harley driving and charged after her with a baton. ‘He ran at my car waving the truncheon and I swerved to avoid him – crashing into another vehicle,’ she recalled. I wasn’t hurt but it was terrifying.’

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Harley Wells

She reported Morris to the police in November 2014 and he was sentenced to five months in jail for harassment and banned from contacting Harley for five years. With her ex locked away, Harley moved on and started a new relationship.

In July, after four months of being brushed off, Morris called Harley, saying he had just been diagnosed with cancer and begged her to see him so he wouldn’t be alone.

‘I was expecting abuse or for him to ask for me back, but instead he told me he had cancer. I believed him, as why would anyone lie about something like that?’ she said.

They arranged to meet at a beach and Morris even appeared to take a call from the hospital about his treatment. Morris then lured her back to his flat for a ‘private chat’ – but once they arrived, his demeanour changed. ‘At first he seemed calm, but then accused me of getting off with his friend.’

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‘I initially denied the fling, but he promised he’d release me if I admitted it, so I confessed. He screamed that I was a slut and punched me in the face. When I staggered back, he punched me again in my other eye. I tried to scream for help through the window, but he dragged me away by my hair and punched me until I fell to the ground.’

‘I jumped down eight steps at once and ran down the street in my top and pants. I could hear him chasing me and was desperate to get away,’ she said.

Morris grabbed her, but the neighbours intervened and called an ambulance to take her to William Harvey Hospital in Ashford, Kent. Morris escaped but was arrested two days later after Harley put a photograph of him on Facebook.

He pleaded guilty to grievous bodily harm with intent, harassment, breaching a restraining order, and false imprisonment – as well as attacking another young woman in March 2015 – and was sentenced to 11 years in jail.

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Daily Mail

A Kenyan Married Man Reveals How He Allows His Wife To Keep In Touch With Her Ex-boyfriend

This issue of keeping in touch with exes is still on people’s minds. This comes hot on the heels of Prince William’s visit to Kenya where he also attended his ex-girlfriend’s wedding in Isiolo last weekend.

A Classic 105 listener revealed on air that he has no problem with his wife keeping in touch with her ex-boyfriend, as long as he doesn’t cross set boundaries because the guy is still obsessed with her and even follows her to her workplace and home.

The male caller apparently allows them to keep in touch because after all he is the one who won her heart and eventually married her. This comment sparked a lot of reactions from other male and female callers during the morning conversation with Maina Kageni and King’ang’i.

Listen to the audio below to hear their opinions.

 

Kenyan Men Reveal Why They Would Never Allow Their Wives To Be Friends With The Exes

Prince William, The Duke Of Cambridge was in Kenya over the weekend to attend the wedding  of his ex-girlfriend, Jessica Craig, something that baffled many and was the talk of UK magazines and tabloids.

The other thing that was glaringly noticeable during his visit was the absence of his wife, Kate Middleton. Despite this, the Prince seemed upbeat and joyful. This was also discussed in detail by Kenyans, most who found it inappropriate for him to attend his former flame’s wedding.

But for Maina Kageni, he did not see what the big deal was. He could not help but wonder why people were making mountains out of mole hills, since to him, there is no problem when a lady is still friends or still communicates with her ex once in a while.

Kenyan men did not agree with this and they decided to call in and give their views about the matter, and whether they would let their wives talk to their exes. Listen to the interesting conversation below.

 

 

Signs That You Are Ready To Mingle After A Breakup

It’s pretty natural for one to feel sad and broken when a relationship ends, in fact for some it may take years to move on and start afresh.

But once you put your mind to it, you can move on with your life. How do you tell that you have gotten over your ex and are really ready to start dating?

Here are the signs that you are ready to mingle:

You Feel Flirty Again: When we’re depressed, the world looks barren and gray. Then, when we’re on our way to healing we experience rebirth, its like things are coming back into technicolor. Many of my coaching clients describe their feeling of coming out of a breakdown that they weren’t aware was even happening to them. That said, there’s nothing like a little rebound loving to light your spark again. Be open to introductions, and give that cute guy at Starbucks a coy smile.

You’re Over Trashing Your Ex To Everyone Else: “He did this, then I said that.” After a heartbreak, our edition of what happened becomes our favorite thing to talk about. It’s easy to fall into a sense of victimization, especially if there was a betrayal like infidelity. When your default mode is no longer, “Let me tell you what happened to me,” you’re getting over your ex.

You Don’t Want Revenge: You’re no Dexter, but when your wounds were fresh, you imagined seven different ways to make that loser pay for what happened. The only reason you didn’t exert some kind of punishment on your ex is that you believe in karma; plus who wants to go to jail? Take a breath, bombshell. Everyone did the best they could with what they knew at the time. When you no longer fantasize about getting him fired, kidnapping his dog, calling his mom or telling all on Facebook, you’ve moved on.

You’re No Longer Bawling: Raise your hand if you’ve ever been curled up in a ball on your kitchen floor in tears. Yup. We’ve all been there at some point or another. Pain is inevitable if we live long enough. It’s the suffering that’s optional. If you can mention your ex without getting teary-eyed, and you’re no longer crying on a daily basis, you’re probably on your way to better things.

You Forgive The Past: Forgiveness is the most powerful piece in the love puzzle. Who should you forgive for optimal healing? Forgive everyone. Forgive yourself and your ex. Forgive the circumstances. Let go of the hope, wish and idea that the past could have been any different. OK, it happened and it sucked. What’s the lesson from the situation? When a breakup happens, you should allow yourself to go through the full range of emotions. You have a right to feel angry, sad or however you feel. You can unfriend him on social networks, sure, but slashing tires is not allowed — except in your imagination. Yes, you’ve had your heart broken but you’re still your wonderful, beautiful self. As Pink once said, “So what? You’re still a rock star!” The most important lesson of all? You are worthy of being loved and you are enough. Now get out there and show the dating world what you’ve got!

-Goodmenproject

 

Steps: From lovers to friends

After a break up it’s highly unlikely that one will be able to maintain a cordial relationship with the ex depending on how they broke up. In some cases many will try and move on without any contact at all with the ex.

However for some, it’s likely that they would like to maintain a friendship of some sort especially if they share the same circle of friends.

It  is possible to move from lovers to friends without having those weird moments. Here is how to go about it:

1. Give time to heal: The first and foremost way to remain friends with your ex is to give time to both of you to heal and get over the break up. Befriending your ex soon after a breakup might not be a great idea. Do not fool yourself by thinking that you can be back to being great friends immediately as coming back to that comfort level of friendship will take time.

2. Be clear about certain limits: Be clear whether you want to have a platonic relation or expecting more. Do not send them drunken text messages. Make sure you always draw a certain limit which will keep you away from any more heartbreak and tons of hogging down ice cream which you surely will regret later.

3. Keep calm around them: Getting nervous or anxious will only worsen your problems. Whenever you are around them or are meeting them at a party or at a movie, keep calm. When you decide to go out for a movie or coffee, be calm and don’t show any emotions which might indicate something that you don’t want them to know.

4. Stop comparing: If you are getting along well, infact great with your ex as a friend do not bring the topic of what went wrong when you were together. This might not go down well with either of you as you might have to confront things that you might not be ready for. Be yourself and keep the relationship on the back burner and try to work on the friendship.

5. Use social media smartly: Stop stalking him. Secondly stop tagging him in every post that has a friendship quote or a friendship picture of cute kids. And lastly don’t keep on pestering them with messages, give them and yourself some much needed fresh breather.

-Iyer TNN

3 types of emotional baggage that affects relationships

At one point in your dating life, you have had a partner who had some issues that you probably thought were going to change with time but didn’t. Don’t worry because it happens to the best of us.

Dating someone with baggage is a bit hard, yes everyone has some form of baggage however there are those that you should spot from a mile away and walk through the next available exit.

This is because they will do you no good and will in fact destroy your relationship.

Major problems with the family

Regardless of whether your date is 20 or 50, they may have emotional baggage related to dysfunction stemming from the family he or she was born into. If you date someone who has significant issues with their family, it’s often with the parents. Yet sometimes he or she will have a sibling that brings major stress or emotional tumult into their lives.

How to spot it: She has extreme anger toward one or both parents; she has fairly frequent blowouts with family members at family dinners, reunions or other events; she has a parent or sibling who is an active addict whom the family is always worried about; or he was emotionally, physically or verbally abused by one or both parents.

Depression

I know a lot of people believe that depression is more of a female problem, which is a very wrong assumption as it affects both sexes. Simply put, both women and men can carry the baggage of depression into a relationship.

How to spot it: He is moody; doesn’t feel like being social with others; has a low self-esteem and is critical of themselves; has lost interest in activities that used to make her happy; complains a lot and has a pessimistic view of the future; gets irritated easily and excels at starting arguments; and cries once in a while for no particular reason.

The ex factor

When you first start dating someone, ask yourself the following questions: Is this person still in contact with his or her ex? Has the person you’re dating fully closed the romantic/need-for-attention door with the ex, or has that door been left slightly ajar? If you breathe even the slightest whiff of unfinished business with your date’s ex, you will make your life easier by heading towards the nearest exit sign. People should give themselves a good six months or longer before even considering starting a new relationship. The reality: If the last relationship ended in a nasty or messy way, a person needs a year or longer to heal before being able to start a healthy relationship – which means not carrying baggage into the next one.

How to spot it: In the first month or two of dating, he mentions his ex at least once per week; she still keeps pictures around or other mementos of the ex; you hear him mention the ex’s name when he’s talking to friends; he tries to get together with the ex for coffee or a meal so soon after the breakup; or she compares you in any way to the ex.

Conclusion                                                                                 

By the time we reach adulthood, we all inevitably carry some sort of emotional baggage with us. The question becomes, is the baggage severe enough to negatively affect a new relationship? Whom you seek out is your choice, but you must remember that warning signs don’t lie!

Credits :Dr. Seth is a licensed clinical psychologist

Exes Who Get Back in Touch for ‘Closure’ Are Bad for Your Marriage

At some point in your late 20s or 30s, you’ll be skeedaddling along, enjoying life, and finally feeling satisfied in your marriage or relationship. Inevitably, some guy from your past will choose that exact moment in time to decide he needs to soul-search because things, perhaps, didn’t turn out quite the way he had planned. In his quest to find himself, he’ll contact you. He’ll remind you that you were once such good friends. You’ll reluctantly, politely, agree to write back because you’re a nice person.

And, just like that, you’ve been sucked into his sad vortex of doom and despair — one that will threaten to blast your current, wonderful relationship to smithereens. Three words: Don’t go there.

Things will start off slowly — innocently. He’ll “like” photos of you on Facebook and pay special attention to the ones you took with your children (Hidden meaning: “Gee, wouldn’t I have been a great dad?”).

He’ll send you a personal message that contains what you assume is a harmless question: “Didn’t we visit the Central Park Zoo that one time? And you told me you were afraid of monkeys. Are you still afraid of monkeys?”

Here’s what he’s really trying to say: “Crap, I can’t maintain any semblance of a relationship and I’m 35. Is it because I never listened to you back then? Is it because I didn’t treat you well? Are you the one who got away and, if so, can you convince me that it was all your fault? Pretty, pretty, please, just tell me you were intimidated by me and you didn’t feel good enough for me and I promise it will satisfy my ego and make me go away!”

Read more: http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/177336/exes_closure_bad_for_marriage