Ellen DeGeneres’ mother, shares her regret on daughters’ sexual abuse by her step dad

Ellen DeGeneres’ mother has told of her regret at not believing her daughter when she confided in her she was being raped.

At age 15 Ellen confided in her mother that she was being sexually abused by her stepfather.

Ellen, 61, made the claims on Netflix’s My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman where she said that her stepfather groped her breasts several times when she was a young teenager by claiming to be looking for lumps.

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Ellen

Her mother Betty, who is a breast cancer survivor, did not initially believe her when she told her and stayed with him for 18 years.

She did not name her stepfather during the interview.

In 1973, when Ellen was the age she was when she says the attack happened, her mother married Texas salesman Roy Grussendorf. He died in 1997.

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 On Friday, Betty shared a statement urging other parents not to do what she did.

I know now that one of the hardest things to do is speak up after being sexually abused. 

I love my daughter, and I wish I had the capacity to listen to her when she told me what happened.

She adds

I live with that regret, and I wouldn’t want that for any other parent.

If someone in your life has the courage to speak out, please believe them,’ she told NBC

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An open letter to my rapist John, wherever you may be I hope you read this

No one pictures themselves going through s3xual abuse but for one woman named Ann, a single day turned her life around all this from a friend who sold her out.

In this open letter penned to her rapist Ann narrates how she met her him and what transpired. She was raped after John (her rapist) lured her to his home and she refused to give in to his s3xual demands.

Read the heart wrenching letter below

Dear John,

It has been five years since we last spoke. My last words to you were hurtful and spiteful and you know why. But I want you­­ to know today that I have forgiven you. I no longer hold a grudge against you and my heart is at peace.

Let me start from the beginning.

When we met in campus in 2006, it was love at first sight. This tall knight came to greet me during the first week of school and my heart, as they say in romance novels, skipped a beat.

ENCHANTED

I was enchanted by your smile, your twinkling eyes and your deep, husky voice as you asked whether anyone had taken the seat next to me. I stared at you, then mumbled “No, it’s free.”

And you sat next to me. I can tell you for free that I have no idea what the lecturer talked about for the next three hours. I was surprised though, that you kept sitting next to me in the two classes we shared that semester.

Our friendship and an unprecedented romance blossomed from those initial interactions. Soon, we became inseparable. It was a good year, well, until you started pressuring me into s3x and getting annoyed whenever I told you I wanted to wait. You slapped me over the s3x issue, and you once beat me up and told me you were the man.

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We closed school for the holidays and communication became strained. But I remember one day after receiving my first allowance from my internship, I bought Sh250 Safaricom credit to call you – that was a big deal back then as calls were quite expensive.

We talked during my lunch break and my heart did a happy dance. I was stupidly in love. After almost an hour, I had to go back to work and I promised to call later at night. But when I did, a girl picked up. I thought it was your sister so I called out her name.

But the lady responded in a harsh tone that she was your girlfriend.

She asked why I was constantly texting her boyfriend. And my heart sank. I hang up the phone. I called later and there was no response. A few days later when you called me, I asked you about her and we argued. That was our first major fight.

That day you said something, harsh words that I remember to date because they seared through my heart and left an empty hole that has taken me years to fill: “If I can’t get it from you, I will get it elsewhere.”

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INSULTS

The beatings, the insults over s3x were nothing compared to the hurt I felt by your betrayal and by those hurtful words. Was I just a s3x object?

Wasn’t I something more? A future? That was the end of us.

I hurt so much. But the long four-month holiday helped numb me and I tried to move on.

I met someone though the relationship was rocky because I had not healed. So, when we were in our last semester of second year and you invited me for a talk after sending so many emissaries with your apologies, I thought it would be good for closure. I came to your room in the afternoon.

And you surprised me by cooking for me my favourite dish. But the surprise was you cooking. You had said before that you would never cook for a woman because you were a ‘total man’. But that day you did. And it was a sweet thing to do. I enjoyed the meal and the cocktail served with it.

We talked and laughed and everything seemed okay. You escorted me back to my room. That week you walked me to and from class, and even waited for me after other classes that we did not share.

You invited me again to your hostel, I think it was a Friday. I agreed. You cooked again. And said you want us to be together again.

That you will marry me. But I said s3x was still not on the table and I would think about the proposed relationship as I had met someone.

The cloudy look on your face and your angry eyes should have been the warning sign. But I was enjoying your company and I felt the flickers of love again. You gave me another glass of punch and we continued talking.

I NEEDED SAFETY

And then, I started feeling like something was off. You kissed me and I kissed you back. But I remembered I now had a boyfriend and I told you no. But when I tried to stand up, I was wobbly.

You moved me towards your bed and I kept saying no, and began walking towards the door. You slapped me and pushed me hard to the bed. I was scared. I couldn’t scream. I tried to push you away. I did not pass out, though I wish I had. I remember you on top of me and I remember the pain between my legs and the pain in my heart. I cried and cried. I cannot remember how long I cried.

But I remember you falling asleep, then me getting up, dressing up and leaving that hostel. I walked outside wandering in the dark at around midnight. I walked towards the dispensary, reached near the gate and just stood there.

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The guard asked if I was okay and if I needed help.

He was concerned but to me he was a man. And I did not need a man right now. I needed safety. I turned and ran all the way back to the girls’ hostel. I showered for more than an hour trying to wash all the dirt away.

I know I should have first gone to hospital but I didn’t. I scrolled through my phonebook looking for who to call but I could not gather the courage.

I skipped classes the next week and locked myself in my room. I couldn’t talk to anyone.

But life had to go on. After this I was really scared of men. I dumped my boyfriend because I was just unfair to him yet he had never hurt me. I couldn’t date for a long time and I found solace in books.

I began to heal after campus, but I was never the same.

Rape

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YOU CALLED ME

Five years ago, in 2013, you called me. I had changed my number but you got it from a mutual acquaintance. I slammed the phone down as memories came flooding back. The ghosts of that night and of many more sleepless nights clouded my thoughts and I feigned illness at work to go home. I felt uneasy again and felt as if someone was stalking me. I couldn’t bear to be with anyone. But I got over it.

Later that year, we bumped into each other at a restaurant in town. I was seated with a mutual friend and I couldn’t leave, but I felt safe with her around. You said you had come back to Nairobi and wanted to talk.

Our mutual friend excused herself and I realised you had used her to get to me. She never knew what you did to me only that we were a good couple in campus and she wanted to see us back together.

You talked and apologised and I just listened. I cried. And I finally walked away and asked you never to talk to me again.

I said I hated you and what you had made me become. You tried to reach out to me again several times over the year, but I ignored you. You finally gave up. For 11 years I struggled to heal, to move on, to be happy.

But John, I want to tell you that I am okay now. No, we will never be together and I prefer not to be in the same space as you, but I have forgiven you and moved on. I no longer hate men and I realise there are some good men out there.

I always pray that you find peace and make amends with your maker. I wish you all the best.

Anna

Source: Daily Nation

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19-year-old girl sentenced to death for killing husband who tried to rape her

The death sentence for a 19-year-old girl in Sudan who murdered her husband after he tried to rape her was named as the world’s worst court ruling.

It has been termed worst court ruling for women’s rights this year.

Noura Hussein was sentenced to death in May after a Sharia court, which follows Islamic religious laws, found her guilty of premeditated murder for stabbing her husband, whom she was forced to marry.

“This decision sends a very dangerous message to society, and specifically to women who suffer sexual violence,” said Blakeley Decktor – a lawyer at women’s rights organization Women’s Link, which gives out the awards.

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Noura Hussein
Noura Hussein

“The court clearly demonstrates a failure of understanding the context where Noura defended herself and the violence she suffered,” he told the Thomson Reuters Foundation.

Hussein said her husband and three of his male relatives raped her six days after their wedding ceremony because she refused to have sex with him. Marital rape is not a crime in the predominantly Muslim African nation.

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After international outcry, the appeal court in Khartoum charged Hussein with manslaughter and overturned the death sentence in June.

The Gender Justice Uncovered Awards, in its tenth year, recognises decisions that affect the rights of women and girls around the world, in both good and bad ways. A jury of three experts from Spain, Kenya and Argentina picked the winners.

Spain was awarded second place for a ruling that cleared five men of the gang rape of a teenager at the San Fermin bull-running festival in Pamplon, handing out sentences for the lesser charge of sexual abuse.

El Salvador was also recognized for sentencing a rape victim who miscarried to 30 years in prison for aggravated homicide and Mexico for a ruling that a women who wanted her child’s father to pay child support had upset his current wife.

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Bungoma teacher arrested for raping Moi Girls High School Kamusinga student

Detectives on Tuesday arrested a teacher in Bungoma for allegedly defiling a student of Moi Girls High School Kamusinga in June.

The teacher, Willy Wanyonyi Musikali, has been on the run since then.

“He will be arraigned in court today and charged with the offence of defilement,” the DCI tweeted on Wednesday.

The arrest follows in the wake of DPP Noordin Haji asking the DCI to investigate cases of teenage pregnancies and early marriages.

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Willy Wanyonyi Musikali- a teacher suspected of defiling a student of Moi Girls High School Kamusinga in June 2018 arrested by DCI. / COURTESY
Willy Wanyonyi Musikali- a teacher suspected of defiling a student of Moi Girls High School Kamusinga in June 2018 arrested by DCI. / COURTESY

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There were hundreds of such during the just-concluded KCPE and KCSE exams.

He said the probe will start with Kilifi county, which reported the highest number, and be extended to other parts of the country.

According to the Star, the Director of Public Prosecutions asked the DCI to forward the files on the same to his office for appropriate action.

Haji said his office takes cases on children seriously adding that ODPP will work closely with the Judiciary and other agencies to expedite the cases.

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Shock in Bomet as 4 are arrested for gang raping a student ,recording the harrowing ordeal and sharing it on social media

Three more suspects have been arrested in connection to the gang-rape of a 17-year-old secondary school student in Bomet County.

These arrests brought to four the number of suspects in police custodyThe first suspect was apprehended on Thursday.

Two others are still on the run following the crime on Wednesday night at Menet Village in Kongotik, Bomet East Sub-county.

An audio recording of the ordeal was shared on social media, sending shockwaves across the country.

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Reports indicate that a gang of more than seven may have attacked the student.

“We are on the trail of the suspects who went underground. We are following leads and are making good progress in the case,” said Bomet divisional police commander Samson Rukunga.

Independent investigations have found that a youth secretly recording the audio as his village mates raped the girl.

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He released it a few hours later and is helping police with investigations.

It is expected that the man will be a state witness in the case over which the suspects will be arraigned on Monday.

“We have a suspect in police custody who did not participate in the crime but was at the scene,” Mr Rukunga said without elaborating.

In the three-minute viral audio, the girl is heard pleading for mercy from men who seem well-known to her.

It emerged that one of the suspects is a known boda boda rider who invited her to his house and then called the others.

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‘I was gang raped by 12 men in front of my kids, it was harrowing,’ City woman narrates

You have probably heard the phrase ‘Unyama umewaingia binadamu’ and this rings true for one woman who has been gang raped thrice.

For Celine Njoki, things will never be the same again as she is constantly haunted by the faces of those who raped and sodomized her.

Recounting her ordeal on Switch TV she says,

“My first rape was two years ago after I was released from prison where I had been remanded for buying a second hand phone which I did not know had been stolen.
After my release, no one wanted to stay with me hence, I was stigmatized and my kids were traumatized, with no where to live I started loving on the streets.
When I got money we would sleep in a lodging and when I lacked I started sleeping on the streets.”

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She adds

“One night I was gang raped by 12 men, while sleeping on the street, up to this day I do not know how my kids were able to sleep throughout the whole ordeal I do not know.
I was treated at Kenyatta National Hospital where I had three operations, and had my counseling sessions. Just when I thought that I was healing calamity struck again.
I now had a house in Lower Kabete, one night while walking towards home, I met some men who casually said ‘Hi’. Thinking that maybe they might know me I answered back in the affirmative.
A few steps away from them I heard them calling me back and ordered me to stop adding that ‘Ukijaribu kupita hapo tutakuua.’ One of them even showed me a gun.

Out of fear, I gave them my handbag and one of them sarcastically asked me who had told me they needed my handbag. One came on my right and one on my left and they ordered me to walk towards a place with a river. It was not the rainy season so the river was dry.
They raped me and sodomized me as if that was not bad enough they put sticks in my private parts it was around 9:30pm.”

Abused and helpless, Njoki goes on to sadly narrate that after gaining consciousness she discovered that they did not steal anything from her and that they just wanted to violate her.

“When I woke up it was around 11:30 pm, I called my sister in law and told her what had happened and where I was, I told her that if I managed to pull the sticks out of me, I would crawl; but if not then she would have to call somebody to come help me.
Eventually, help arrived and they first took me to police station and that is when my trauma started.
The police kept asking me what I had worn, if I knew them, If I had a grudge with anyone, the most humiliating thing was there was no privacy thus people who had come to report other cases, I was bleeding so bad as the molesters had cut me up, when the doctor saw me he frankly told me that I could not go back home and that I needed reconstructive surgery.”

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It is said that lightning does not strike the same place twice, but this time it did.

Just when Njoki was recovering from her second ordeal of gang rape, she was gang raped yet again. This time round it was worse than the first time.

“In 2018 when I was just recovering, I moved to a new house far from where I was living before. My children had traveled and on April 27th I heard people talking in the house and my first thought was ‘they might kill me, with the rains they might drown me.
They took me to the sitting room and raped me, sodomized me, broke glasses and cut me up, my thighs are full of marks, they put a rolling pin (mti ya kupika chapo) in my private parts and strangled me then left. Defeated and helpless, I called a friend and asked him to call an uber for me and when I went to the police station they asked me how come it is me who is always raped.”

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Rape

On how her life has changed since the ordeals, she say

“I can’t stand for long, I experienced a lot of stigmatization, I have to depend on friends too. I stopped working because I cannot sit for long, the stigma is real with some of my friends saying that I paid people to rape me so that I could get sympathy from people.”

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