Do’s And Don’t’s Of Singlehood

There are things to keep in mind when you’re single and searching. Being brave and assertive means putting yourself out there in ways you haven’t before, but still being comfortable about it. Sitting at home and giving up isn’t a good strategy. You need to get out, to increase your chances of bumping into people who will likely be a good match for you.

Don’t ever tell yourself men are only interested in younger women – There are men who seek younger women, but there are also those who’re interested in older and mature partners. They are looking for women their age-mates who’re intelligent and fun.

You have to develop a sense of expectation – Your mindset makes things a reality, so if you set an expectation that you’ll meet someone great, you’re more likely to make that happen.

You’ll likely meet someone when you’re least expecting it – If you’re outgoing, friendly and participate in social activities, you’ll more likely be noticed. Be open, receptive and have a good attitude.

Look and feel your best. You don’t have to look like a model, but dress comfortably so that you look contemporary. Get a make-over to feel good about yourself and remove any facet of insecurity.

Watch your negative self-talk. Women often talk down and badger themselves only to end up feeling less worthy than they are. While the culture is youth-centered, a majority of the population is old and aging, so there are a lot of people out there like you. Honor the wisdom and experience that age has brought you.

Always be gratuitous with the person you’re with. You never know if that someone you’re dating or meeting could have a friend who may be your potential partner. What you say and do will linger.

Always meet your new date in a casual environment. The location should be safe and the meeting should be spent in a short-interval, around other people. This way you remain in your comfort zone and can make a quick escape if you feel it isn’t worth your time.

Prepare ahead and have conversation topics. Some people are better at talking with new people or making small conversation while others find it difficult. It’s good to have some questions planned ahead to help open the door to communication and avoid an awkward silence.

Ask questions on important topics –  Note their responses and see how they react to get a better feel for their character. You don’t want to be probing, but it gives you a good idea about who they are and what they’re looking for in a relationship.

Try to find out if they’re ready to date again and if they’ve let go of their past. If you don’t get that information early on, you may be fooled and deceived into things that aren’t constructive to the relationship.

Be a good listener. Refer back a little bit to earlier conversation so they know that you’re listening and paying attention. If they dominate the conversation, then that’s a red flag that they’re so self absorbed they don’t care about who you are.

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Do’s and Dont’s Of Couple Vacations

Are you planning to go on a vacation with your partner? There are things you should know before you plan the trip.

It may be a good time for the both of you to relax and spend time together away from the hustle of work, school and business and also build  on your intimacy but there are things that you shouldn’t do.

Make use of the vacation – There is always pressure to take time of work and set a date suitable for a holiday. As opposed to waiting for the long holidays which are usually busy like Xmas, New year, Easter etc. Take a long weekend off like Jamhuri , Mashujaa day etc and plan around it.

Pack smart – It’s better to have the things you need as opposed to carrying everything. Leave your set of Michael Kors watches at home its safe and besides you don’t need them.Stick to the basics, and if you can, limit everything to one or two bags. Then, your stuff won’t get lost and that’s automatically one less thing to worry about.

Divide and rule – Splitting everything down the middle except for a few romantic dinners and presents will stop any money-related resentment in its tracks. Keep track of your expenses so everything evens out.

Spend time alone – It’s ok to spend time together but it’s also ok to spend time alone. You don’t have to tag your partner along on everything and every adventure you seek. Besides you can both share your solo experiences together.

Be spontaneous – Do random things don’t plan every detail of the day. It may be a good idea to go on the tourist trips but the sites will always be there and that’s an excuse for a second trip. Don’t spend all your time on planned things go to random spots just because you can.

Take pictures for memories not social media – Take pictures, it’s romantic and the memories will last. But don’t be taking pictures to post on social media. You don’t want to judge the worth of your love based on the number of likes on social media. Also, it’s just for safety reason recently a couple was robbed because they shared every move on social media, take the tip.

Try new things – It’s good to try new things get out of your comfort zone and do stuff you wouldn’t usually do at home. Try out new cuisines, local drinks, dance in weird warehouses, get tattoos but remember not everything is worth trying. Be wary of people trying to sell you miraculous medicines with healing properties, you might just get drugged then mugged.

Give room for love – You are having fun and enjoying the holiday and the site seeing but don’t forget about your partner. You should show your romantic side and remember to keep the intimacy flame alive.

Research –There’s really no place that is 100% safe.  It’s always advised to do some research before-hand about where you’re going before you book your tickets. Get to know the cultures and traditions of the place so that you don’t get into trouble with the law. Besides better be safe than sorry.

Plan more vacations – Don’t make your random trip a one-time romantic trip that happens once every nine years. Keep planning trips, taking pictures, saving your money for other trips besides Mombasa. You can visit Lamu, Kisumu, Nanyuki, Narok etc Couples who complain of stagnancy should know that inertia is avoidable. If you do enough to keep things from getting boring, they simply won’t get boring.

-TOI

Tips You Need Incase You Are Considering Online Dating

There are so many ways for one to get hooked up these days. You could use your friends, go out more or be bold and try out online dating.

Note that, if you intend to try out online dating to find your potential partner it is quite different from the more traditional methods pointed above. There are rules to follow so that you don’t scare potential partners.

Do’s 

Mention your achievements: Education is of utmost importance. So if you have a bachelor’s degree, a postgraduate degree or just a few certificate courses, openly talk about them online. Mention your educational qualifications and this will definitely attract like-minded people who wish to learn.

Travel experiences: Being adventurous is a great quality. If you love to travel or have travelled a lot, share your experiences online. It tells a lot about your passions.

Animal lover: Having compassion for animals shows that you are a good human being. Also, pets have a positive effect on your lifestyle as well as your love life.

Volunteer: If you are genuinely interested in doing good for other people and if you like going out of your way to help others, say it online. This shows that you spare sometime out of your hectic schedule to do a good deed.

Don’ts

Down-to-earth: While this may not sound that harmful, but it clearly indicates lack of creativity on your part and makes your profile sound uninteresting.

Embarrassment: If your profile says something like. “I am embarrassed or ashamed of what I am doing” or “I can’t believe I am doing this”, it will display nothing more than insecurity. You’ll certainly not be taken seriously by others.

Straightforward attitude: You may want to show that you’re a no non-sense girl with a straightforward approach but this will only create red flags regarding issues you may have gone through in your past relationships.

Extra organised: Being focused and planning everything in advance is a good quality indeed but it may portray your rigidity and inability to adapt to new things in the future. Remember, open-mindedness and flexibility are key.

-TNN

Things You Should Never Do On The First Date

When you invite someone you would like to know better on date, there are certain rules that go without saying like you will pay for the bill and you can either select the place or have them  choose. Also have to keep time. However there are things that one should never do on the first date:

Here’s a list of things you should never do on a first date.

1.Staring at your phone – We all have phone and I am pretty sure your date has one too. However unless someone calls its common courtesy to have your phone on silent during a date. It will always give the two of you a chance to talk and know each other.

2. Get really drunk – Of the rules regarding first time dates, no alcohol is at the top of the list. This is because chances are you will not talk about anything sensible plus you might end up making silly mistakes and embarrassing yourself.

3. Talking about yourself – A date is about knowing each other so at one point or another you will talk about yourself. This doesn’t mean that they want to hear all about you 100% of the time. Give them time to talk about themselves and listen while at it.

4. Being rude to servicemen/women – Being polite will not cost you anything, being rude on the other hand might cost you, your date. Rudeness doesn’t come off as masculine as many think, it’s actually childish. No matter how irritated you are try and keep your cool, yelling at the waiter for getting the order wrong isn’t a good look.

5. Using discount /Free meal vouchers – Talk about being cheap. Your first date and you pay using a free meal voucher you won online! Sad

6.Be Judgemental– You can talk about plenty of things on the first date but stay away from personal things like your ex , body, food choice, money etc . Unless your date brings up the topic then forget it.

7. Touchy – It’s pretty simple keep your hands to yourself. No one likes being all cozy with someone they don’t know like that yet. Besides it’s very uncomfortable.

10 Blind date dos and don’ts

Tonight is the night: You’ve dressed in your finest, popped a breath mint, and are headed off to meet someone who could be The One. Few moments are as pivotal as this initial rendezvous, and that holds true whether you met online, were set up through friends, or swapped numbers at a bar last Saturday. So: How do you get that all necessary chemistry crackling between you as quickly as possible? Believe it or not, it’s not all up to fate. Anthropologists, body language experts, and other pros say there are plenty of strategies you can use to help your date relax, to build rapport, and even to instill a flutter of excitement.

Don’t be nervous; be prepared by keeping these do’s and don’ts in your back pocket.

5 things to do
1. Screen. Before you arrange to meet your date face-to-face, make sure you’ve screened him or her by telephone or through friends. You want to find out as much as you can to determine not only what kind of person your date is, but also whether you have enough in common even to get a conversation off the ground.
2. Get a description. Blind dates are awkward enough; don’t make things harder by forgetting to ask how you’ll recognize one another. Get a good description of your date
3. Agree to be honest. On our first blind date, my date (now my boyfriend of seven months) told me that honesty was very important to him; if either of us wanted to end the date at any point, we should just say so. I loved it that he was so forthright from the start.
4. Keep things casual and public. A casual cafe can be more comfortable than a formal, upscale restaurant. No matter where you choose to spend your first date, though, stick to public places like a busy park or coffee shop.
5. Offer to split the bill. At least make the offer. It shows that you’re considerate and like to keep things on equal terms.

5 things not to do
1. Don’t get picked up at your place. Keep things on neutral ground until you get to know this person. Meet at a mutually selected location so you’ll have your own transportation home.
2. Don’t reveal too much. Try to keep the really personal details to yourself — without coming off like a cold fish.
3. Don’t overdo it. If this is your soul mate and you want to get the relationship off to a good start, be yourself.Don’t try to over-impress with exaggerated tales of your life as a fashion photographer. Be modest. Be real.
4. Don’t forget to turn off your cell phone. Just good etiquette for any date. Besides, it will show off your courteous side.
5. Don’t lie. Back to the whole honesty thing. If you decide after the first handshake that you can’t spend another minute on this date, bail out as honestly as possible. In other words, don’t tell a blatantly bogus story about how you suddenly realized you have to pick up a friend from the airport. Instead try saying, “It’s been nice, but I really need to get home.” It may be obvious that you’re not all that interested, but at least your nose won’t grow!

Authored by Susan Hayden is a freelance writer who has written for Happen.