5 Bizarre reasons why some Indian men seek divorce

India still has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, but marriage breakdowns are becoming more common. Experts say most cases of divorce in India are filed on the grounds of abuse, or what’s legally termed as “cruelty”. But what amounts to abuse has long been open to debate, especially when determining whether psychological trauma has been afflicted on a person during marriage.

Because of its wide legal definition, Indian courts have had to rule on a host of bizarre interpretations of what constitutes non-physical abuse. BBC’s Atish Patel shares a few of the more unlikely examples.

1. My wife parties too much

party pooper

 

A Bombay high court overturned a family court ruling from 2011 that granted divorce to a sailor who claimed his wife’s regular partying, among other things, was a form of abuse. The judge ruled that socialising to some extent in the present society is permissible

2. She is a sex machine

sex

A sexless marriage is a common trigger for divorce globally. But last year, a man in Mumbai wanted to divorce his wife because she had too much sex

In his petition, the man described his wife as having an “excessive and insatiable appetite for sex” ever since their marriage in April 2012, according to a report by the Press Trust of India news agency.

3. She wears trousers

fashion

In another case, a man sought a divorce from his wife on the grounds of cruelty in part because of her dress sense saying that the wife would wear shirts and trousers to her workplace instead of traditional Indian clothing. A family court passed a divorce order three years ago, but in March last year, the Bombay high court overturned it.

4. Too much acne on her face

acne

In another instance a man filed for divorce complaining that he was traumatised by his wife’s acne problem. The couple that had an arranged marriage divorced later with the court ruling in favour of her husband.

 

5. ‘Hostile hospitality’

chai

Going back even further, in 1985 the Allahabad high court in an appeal hearing upheld a lower court’s decision that the refusal by his wife to make tea for her husband’s friends had left him humiliated and along with other factors,  amounted to mental abuse and acceptable grounds for divorce.

-Cartoons by BBC Hindi’s Kirtish Bhatt

5 Benefits of Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling helps couples prepare for marriage. You can help save the marriage or stop it before it even starts by going to a marriage therapist who gives you real life insights into what it takes to be a husband or wife. Given the staggering divorce rates a visit to the counselor may help you decide whether you really want to get married after all.

According to Psychology Today couples that seek pre-marital counseling have lower rates of divorce as compared to their counterparts who opt out on it. If you are getting married in a church for example, the pastor will insist that the couple attends counseling but in some cases it is not a requirement. For marriage to work all parties must be willing to work on it so this article doesn’t imply that pre-marital counseling is a direct ticket to marital bliss.

Here are five reasons why you need premarital counseling

1. It helps one address issues/concern you may have
An experienced counselor has a lot of wisdom to pass on. A couple may be gripped by fear about certain issues in marriage such as how to manage money, time, how to submit and the pre-marital classes present an opportunity to tackle these questions.

2. Helps dismantle toxic views on marriage
Most counseling sessions happen with several couples present and this helps see a bigger picture that relationships do work. If for example your parents divorced and you are afraid that settling down will force you down that route, not to worry, the counseling may help you come to terms with the past and break that cycle.

3. Set marriage resolutions
A counselor will often get into the topics of money, kids, investments and sex and this may help set objectives for you as a couple. Having a clear picture of what you want in the marriage and the direction it should steer you to is key to the success of any union.

4. Counseling is real talk and helps you set realistic expectations
Some couples may have unrealistic standards when it comes to what they expect of their significant other after the wedding and therefore with an outsider’s perspective it helps you separate the achievable from the unrealistic.

5. It is better that postmarital counseling
We often hear that prevention is better than cure and this statement comes in handy when referring to premarital counseling. You wouldn’t want to rush to the marriage therapist when your the relationship is on the rocks and divorce is blinking at you.