‘I never want to have kids of my own,’ Sean Andrew Kibaki tells it all

Sean Andrew, the grandson to former Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki has said he NEVER want to have kids adding that it is a personal decision.

The social media influencer studied psychology and international relations at USIU.

Speaking about why he never wants to have kids Sean said that kids have never been a priority for him.

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Sean andrew- Classic 105

A fan asked Sean Andrew when he would be getting married

‘Are you planning to settle down one day when you are like 30.Maybe have  a wife you know a ka family?’

To which Sean responded.

‘At the moment I do not see myself having any kids at any point in my life.’

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Another fan asked?

‘Why don’t you want to have kids?’

Sean responded.

‘I just haven’t had the interest , I have been told to never say never but having kids is not in my program.’

Sean Andrew (1)

The eye candy model is a first-born in a family of four.

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Sean Andrew has in the past opened up on his journey with depression something that left him suicidal.

“When I lost my maternal grandfather when I was 13 years old, I went through depression and it got so bad that I wanted to take my life at some point.

My grandfather was my rock. He was my everything and my best friend. He was the only person I felt safe with.”

Sean Andrew
Sean Andrew

Sean added,

”After his death, so many people started taking advantage of me and I became so paranoid over a lot of things.

This was the first time I was alone and it was hard.

Being in that place where I had a lot of things bottled up in me and given the fact that I was almost kidnapped when I was a kid.

Being bullied and now I had lost the only person I was close to, it sent me to a dark place.”

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‘His humor dragged me out of depression,’ -DJ Shiti fan confesses

Comedy is an art, one that not only puts food on the table of those lucky to have a platform but also one that can bring much joy and happiness to those consuming it.

Real househelps of Kawangware comedian, DJ shiti is one of those who are using their art to change lives, positively.

His quirky jokes and how he uniquely delivers jokes has garnered him tens of thousands of fans across East Africa, some whom have even confessed to have used his sense of humor to get out of heartbreaking situations.

One fan wrote;

THIS MAN’S HUMOUR DRAGGED ME OUT OF DEPRESSION. AZIDI KUONGEZEWA NA BWANA.

Another one said;

SAME HERE. I WAS IN HOSPITAL ON DECEMBER 2018-JANUARY 2019.

shiti

Replying to them, Shiti says that these messages have shown him that there are indeed people he is touching

NOW I KNOW….. THIS HAS REALLY HUMBLED ME … KWA WASANII WOTE KULE NJE CHOCHOTE UNAFANYA JUA KUNA MZITO UNAJENGA MAHALI KISIRISIRII..

Well, cheers to you Shiti!

‘I felt like a horrible person’ Wendy Kimani on overcoming post partum depression

Kenyan artiste Wendy Kimani has in a touching social media post confessed that her son helped her beat post partum depression.

According to Wendy, motherhood is a role so rewarding that she wouldn’t change it for anything else.

I  had to repost this from my stories. This is what it means when they say being a mother is so rewarding!

I wanna encourage any one going through postpartum depression, or just depression, anxiety, panic attacks or any other mental issues that it will pass!

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Wendy Kimani
Wendy Kimani

I know you’re thinking no mine is different, mine is BAD! Trust me, It will END! 
This boy is my little angel. I never used to understand when they said,” my kids give me strength” noooow omg!! Yessss i get it now!

Wendy Kimani Opens Up About Motherhood And Lessons She Has Learnt (Video)

Wendy adds that she started creating a bond with her son at 2 years by listening to songs together.

So if you hadn’t seen my stories, this song, just as an old classic, heard it and sang it a million times, is a beautiful song but don’t think I ever really listened to the words.

When he was just 2 months old, I started to massage him before his bath to create a bond.

A past photo of wendy-kimani-pregant

And all that went through my mind was why did i bring this child to this sh*t world, im a horrible person!
He’s gonna have depression one day and that’s my fault!

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Wendy adds that despite the fact that her son was still too young she decided that the song would be their secret language.

Then the song played and the words said everything I would want to tell him if ever he was sad or depressed! EVERYTHING! So I decided this will be our song!

In conclusion Wendy confesses that the best thing so far is that her son has learnt the song she used to soothe him with.

Fast forward to now! He learnt it some how….and asks for it then jumps in for a cuddle and sings it with me.

I mean…. what????😭😭😭 Sooooooooooo much love for this little man!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤ #PCOS #postpartumdepression

Below is the video of Wendy and her son.

View this post on Instagram

I had to repost this from my stories. This is what it means when they say being a mother is so rewarding! I wanna encourage any one going through postpartum depression, or just depression, anxiety, panic attacks or any other mental issues that it will pass! I know you're thinking no mine is different, mine is BAD! Trust me, It will END! This boy is my little angel. I never used to understand when they said ," my kids give me strength" noooow omg!! Yessss i get it now! So if you hadn't seen my stories, this song, just as an old classic, heard it and sang it a million times, is a beautiful song but don't think i ever really listened to the words. When he was just 2 months old, i started to massage him before his bath to create a bond… and all that went through my mind was why did i bring this child to this shit world, im a horrible person! He's gonna have depression one day and thats my fault! Then the song played and the words said everything i would want to tell him if ever he was sad or depressed! EVERYTHING! So i decided this will be our song! Fast forward to now! He learnt it some how….and asks for it then jumps in for a cuddle and sings it with me…i mean…. what????😭😭😭 Sooooooooooo much love for this little man!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤ #PCOS #postpartumdepression #depression #depressionhelp #healing #babies #motherhood #musicheals

A post shared by Wendy kimani (@wendykims) on

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‘5 years ago I was depressed, stressed and overwhelmed’ Ciru Muriuki

Ciru Muriuki celebrates her birthday today and among the things she is thankful for is the fact that she is no longer depressed and over whelmed.

She took to social media to celebrate her self with the message below.

“I’m so grateful to the Almighty for granting me another year. When I look back at who i was 5 years ago…

Stressed, depressed, overwhelmed, and look at where I am with my life and my career, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. I’m so blessed and I don’t take this for granted.

Happy birthday to me! 🤗🤗.

‘It had been years of pain’ Janet Mbugua speaks on battling endometriosis

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Ciru who now works for BBC recently shared her long battle with Endometriosis .

Sharing a past photo of her Ciru says that its been years of pain.

This was me, after my first laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis cysts. It was two days before Christmas in 2017. Basically,what was happening was I was bleeding into my ovaries every time I had my period.

Words cannot describe the pain. It sometimes takes years for endometriosis to be definitively diagnosed because women are told that pain is part of being a woman.

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But here’s the thing. Terrible pain during your period is not normal. A prolonged, heavy period is not normal. A period that interferes with your daily routine is not normal.

Endometriosis has no cure. We need to push for more research into this terrible disease. #periodmatters #endowarrior #endometriosisawareness #yellowforendo #donotsufferinsilence #KnowEndo

She adds

The thing about endometriosis is that it stays with you every day. Even if you’re not in pain, there’s the fatigue. I wish I could describe how tired I get.

Then you dread your period. The horrible pain. The nausea.

The sweating. The vomiting. The constipation or diarrhea. Being scared of soiling yourself because of your heavy flow. None of this is normal. We need a cure.

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‘My phone stopped ringing after I lost my job’ Cries depressed Kenyan

Maina Kageni gave his fans a chance to open up on why they are feeling depressed and how they are dealing with it and the responses are heartbreaking.

One caller narrated how she has dealt with depression for an year after losing a job.

Maina I lost my job an year ago and I have been trying to look for a job in vain. Sometimes you think that in such circumstances family will help you but utajua hujui.

You tell them your problems only for them to go and talk about it and laugh about it with other people. Family is the worst to reach out to when dealing with depression.

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I have kids and sometimes they do not even have food to eat.

At some point I thought of killing them and killing myself but later I decided to seek help and reached out to a counselor.

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She adds

When I had a job and money was in plenty my phone would not stop ringing but right now If I call someone they tell me ‘I will call you back’ which they never do.

The only people who call me are my parents checking out how I am doing it. The reason why women survive depression is because we talk about it even when we know the other person wont help.

Men are the most affected because they don’t talk about it.

It is bad and depression is real.

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‘My wife saved me from committing suicide’ Narrates Kenyan man

The morning conversation on Classic 105 was today based on the high rate of depression in Kenya after we were rated the 6th most depressed people in Africa.

According to the statistics, men are the most affected. World Health Organization rated Kenya as the sixth most depressed especially due to the increased number of suicides.

Mwalimu King’ang’i argues that women are part of the reason why men are depressed but one woman does not agree with that.

People have been looking for a job for years. If you think that women have a better way of solving it just know that wanakaa ngumu.

Its not only in Nairobi depression is every where.

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depressed

A male caller narrates to Maina how he has been battling depression after being conned of all his savings.

Depression has killed me. I lost my job and someone approached me to give them some cash so that they could give me a job only for them to run away with my cash.

Maina it was the only cash I had.

Its very easy to con a desperate person. When you are desperate and someone approaches you.

You think that your doors are finally opening up only to be conned.

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The only thing in my life is that I have a good wife and she is so supportive. She tells me that things will be OK and that I should be OK.

If it was not for my wife I would be dead I would have ended it all.

I cannot even remember when my kids drank chai ya maziwa depression is killing me and I do not know where to start but I believe God is still there.

Another caller adds

I lost my job and property to my auctioneers and my wife is currently expectant.

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‘Whenever I try committing suicide my daughter comes in’ Njambi

Njeri Gachomba an actress in the local show Real House helps of Kawangware has opened up on her battle with depression since she was 15.

Njambi is loved for her witty character, but not many know that behind that beautiful smile and infectious laughter is a woman fighting to find her bearing.

Taking to Instagram, Njambi shared a photo of her on a day when she lost every thing she called hers.

“I remember when I took this photo, this was the day I lost everything I’ve ever worked for …. I had sat on the stairs as they took everything from my house.

My mum was so stressed and my brother @kenyan_twist as usual was cheering me up.

I remember he was telling me about how I was used to having my own bathroom in my bedroom sasa na Rudi kutumia choo na kila mtu 🤣🤣(my brother though).

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Njambi

I felt like my life was ending I mean I just got up now am being put down again. I remember Tam came back from school and she was shocked, “haukuniambia tunahama” she said.

She was asking where our things are especially her toys 😂😂😂 typical….. “

Njambi goes on to open up about how she has battled with depression

“Anyway, It wasn’t supposed to be a long post but anyways since am half way……

Can I just say something about depression and how sad it is that young people are ending their lives because of love, money and jobs.

I tell people life is never that serious, you loose some you gain some ..

I’ve been depressed since I was 15yrs I had family drama, I had self esteem, I felt unloved, unwanted, I felt like I meant nothing to anyone.

Akothee slams girls who take loans to make their hair

Njambi with her daughter

I’ve tried it all taking pills, countless times I’ve tried to commit suicide, I’ve wanted to jump off my balcony a million times.

I’ve scars coz I used to cut myself…. But every time I try shit, there comes Tamara complaining about something I said I’ll do and I didn’t.”

She goes on to add

“If you ever feel depressed and you feel like you want to end your life please find a purpose, every one has a purpose for living.

I think the reason am still alive am still surviving is because of someone somewhere who is going through a lot and has no one to talk to, my DM is always open.

I understand, I know how it feels to be worthless, to have self esteem, to feel unloved I know… I am where you’re…. I get tattoos or piercings just to numb my pain…

 I don’t know why I find pleasure and comfort in pain….. And to friends please check up on your person. We depressed people don’t know how to talk, how to talk about our problems .

We might look alright but deep down we’re dying. I know I smile alot, I joke alot but when I am alone, I am empty. Plus, depression is making me so fat 🙊🙊”

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Study shows that men who work long hours are less likely to suffer depression

Women who put in long hours at work are prone to depression – but the same is not true of men, researchers have found.

A study found women who worked more than 55 hours per week were more likely to suffer depression than women working a standard 35- to 40-hour week.

Men were no more likely to suffer depression if they worked long hours overall – but were still susceptible to problems if they worked weekends.

The researchers suspect the gender difference is down to the fact that even when women have left work, they are left with the burden of chores around the home.

Lead author Gill Weston, of University College London, said the findings called for greater support for women working long hours in the workplace.

‘Although we cannot establish the exact causes, we do know many women face the additional burden of doing a larger share of domestic labour than men, leading to extensive total work hours, added time pressures and overwhelming responsibilities,’ she said.

‘We hope our findings will encourage employers and policy-makers to think about how to reduce the burdens and increase support for women who work long or irregular hours – without restricting their ability to work when they wish to.

‘More sympathetic working practices could bring benefits both for workers and for employers – of both sexes.’

The researchers also found that married women with children at home tended to be less likely to work long hours than single women – but married fathers were more likely to put in overtime at the office than men with no family.

-Dailymail

‘I thought I was going to lose my baby’Bridget Achieng opens up about being dumped only two months after getting pregnant

Bridget Achieng recently opened up on how she was dumped by her West African boyfriend only a few months after getting pregnant with her first child.

The socialite on Thursday took to social media to post several confessions about her failed relationship saying that her fiancé wanted her to abort the baby.

In her first public confession she admitted that the disappearing act hurt her but added she is still healing

“He left when I was two months pregnant but God has been faithful. Rejection is one thing I can never wish for my worst enemies.

I can never harbour bitterness or hard felling on him. Everything happens for a reason. My baby will be great that’s for sure. It’s said that when you are with God the rest is a peanut.”

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Details of Achieng’s man have always been scanty.

She once told fans the man is the son of Ghana’s prime minister but was met with sharp criticisms as fans reminded her that the country doesn’t have a prime minister. Other than that, not much was out.

Achieng, who is now three months pregnant, revealed that the break up left her depressed and even ill at one point.

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“It was trauma, depression and I thought I was going to lose my baby,Most of the times the ones rejected are the ones God raises very high. Long nights, sickness….but all in all God is not a man to lie. I’m now taking one step at a time.”

In another post she wrote

 To the MAMA that is trying to heal from what THEY won’t discuss, bri is sending you HUGS today, its ok not to be ready MAMA”

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Women who wake up early are less likely to get depressed than late risers, claim scientists

Women who wake up early as they get older are less likely to develop depression than those who love a lie-in, according to research.

Scientists say exposure to daylight affects a person’s risk of becoming depressed, and women who wake up early have a 12 to 27 per cent lower chance.

A study of more than 32,000 women with an average age of 55 found those who describe themselves as evening or intermediate types are more likely to end up with the mental illness.

It is not a curse, however, and the scientists say people who like to sleep late can help reduce their risk by getting up earlier and seeing more daylight.

The research also found night owls are less likely to be married and more likely to live alone, be smokers, and have erratic sleep patterns – all of which could increase depression risk.

But the link between sleeping preference and depression still remains even when those factors are accounted for.

The research was done by scientists at the University of Colorado Boulder, and Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston.

It is the largest ever study of its kind and studied the effect of a woman’s chronotype – what times a person prefers to sleep and wake up – on her risk of depression.

Researchers claim chronotype affects depression risk even when exposure to daylight and working schedules are taken out of the equation.

Depression thought to affect one in ten people

‘There might be an effect of chronotype on depression risk that is not driven by environmental and lifestyle factors,’ said lead study author and director of the university’s sleep lab, Céline Vetter.

Depression is a fairly common mental health problem which can affect anyone at any age.

Around one in ten people are thought to experience it at some point in their life, and it can cause people to feel upset and to lose interest in things they used to enjoy.

What is depression?

While it is normal to feel down from time to time, people with depression may feel persistently unhappy for weeks or months on end.

Depression can affect anyone at any age and is fairly common – approximately one in ten people are likely to experience at some point in their life.

Depression is a genuine health condition which people cannot just ignore or ‘snap out of it’.

Symptoms and effects vary, but can include constantly feeling upset or hopeless, or losing interest in things you used to enjoy.

It can also cause physical symptoms such as problems sleeping, tiredness, having a low appetite or sex drive, and even feeling physical pain.

In extreme cases it can lead to suicidal thoughts.

Traumatic events can trigger it, and people with a family history may be more at risk.

It is important to see a doctor if you think you or someone you know has depression, as it can be managed with lifestyle changes, therapy or medication.

Source: NHS Choices 

Celebrated Swedish DJ Avicii is laid to rest in private ceremony

Swedish DJ and music producer Avicii has been laid to rest in a private ceremony in his hometown of Stockholm seven weeks after his death in the City of Muscat Oman.

Avicii, whose real name was Tim Bergling, was found dead on April 20. Following his death, his family penned an open letter saying the 28-year-old ‘could not go on any longer and wanted peace’.

According to Daily Mail, the private funeral was held at Skogskyrkogården, a cemetery in southern Stockholm which is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, yesterday.

Avicii’s friend Jesse Waits, a US entrepreneur and nightclub owner posted a picture on Instagram of the funeral order of service, simply captioned with a heart emoji.

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His brother-in-law Joakim Sterner also posted a picture from Skogskyrkogården yesterday, showing himself posing solemnly in front of a cross.

Last month Avicii’s Swedish publicist Ebba Lindqvist announced that the funeral would be held ‘in the presence of the people who were closest to Tim,’ without providing any more details.

No cause of death has been released, but in a statement last month Bergling’s family appeared to suggest he took his own life, saying that he struggled with his thoughts and ‘could not go on any longer’.

The letter, signed ‘The Family’, described Avicii as a ‘fragile artistic soul and a sensitive guy not made for the machinery he ended up in’.

Anthony Bourdain and other international celebrities who committed suicide

It says he ‘truly battled thoughts about the Meaning, Life, Happiness. Now, he could not go on any more. He wanted peace.’

In the days following his death, it was revealed that Avicii had been in a committed relationship with Czech-American model Tereza Kačerová, and was a doting step-father to her young son at the time of his death.

Ms Kačerová posted a heartbreaking open letter on her Instagram, in which she revealed that the pair had been planning on having children of their own, along with a series of photographs of them together.

Despite a meteoric rise to success following the release of hit-single Le7els in 2011, Avicii announced in 2016 that he would not longer perform live, following years health problems caused by stress and alcohol abuse, as well as severe anxiety.

A recent documentary, Avicii: True Stories shed light on the extreme pressure he was under, performing 320 shows in a single year.

In the documentary, Avicii, a self-confessed introvert, speaks frequently about using alcohol as a crutch to be able to perform, drinking every day during his hectic tour, and to help him with his crippling anxiety and stress.

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At the age of 21 he was diagnosed with acute pancreatitis – a potentially life-threatening inflammation of the pancreas – due in part to excessive drinking.

In 2014, Bergling was again hospitalised and forced to have his gallbladder and appendix removed.

Avicii made a fortune during his short career, cashing in $28million in 2014 alone, earning $250,000 a night when playing out sold-out shows, according to GQ.

Avicii himself was less bothered about his millions, saying in 2013 that he ‘noticed straight away when I started making money, that I don’t need that much money’.

International guitarist Gary Lightbody mourns Avicii admits battling depression

In 2012 he donated the entire income of his U.S. tour – more than one million dollars – to hunger relief charity Feeding America, and in 2013 he gave one million euros to Swedish aid organisation Radiohjälpen.

Bergling grew up in affluent Ostermalm in the Swedish capital Stockholm, and began producing music in high school.

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He made a name for himself on the EDM (Electronic Dance Music) scene, before his breakthrough hit Le7els in 2011. He would later become known for hits like Wake Me Up!, You Make Me, and recently Lonely Together, a collaboration with Rita Ora.

He won two MTV Music Awards, one Billboard Music Award and earned two Grammy nominations. Just three days before his death, in his final post on Twitter, Bergling thanked the Billboard Music Award’s jury for his nomination int the Top Dance/Electronic Album category for his EP Avīci (01).

He died on April 20 in Muscat, Oman, where he is reported to have been holidaying with friends.

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Depression is REAL! Kambua opens up on personal journey fighting depression

A few days after  international chef Anthony Bourdain committed suicide  local celebrity Kambua has opened up on having been depressed on a few occasions.

People with depression are looked down upon by the society and close  family members with some being termed as ‘crazy ‘ and a nuisance which is not always the case,most cases of people with severe depression always ends up with the victim trying to take their life.

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‘Not having kids does not make me less human’ kambua shuts haters

Opening up about depression Kambua wrote

#Depression is REAL. As real as the air you breathe. I don’t know how many more people we need to lose to suicide in order for us to acknowledge that mental illness is a serious condition that needs treatment like the flu, or cancer… So many of us are fronting while dying a little every day. Too afraid to ask for help because people will talk, judge, or dismiss you. “It’s all in your head”, they say. Well YES it is in the head & heart. A brokeness in the mind, that can be fixed if we allow people to seek help. Someone earlier argued that therapy is expensive- I hear you. But getting help is not limited to sitting with a therapist. It could be a friend, a family member, a colleague… but the moment we make it seem as though there are no options is the very moment we take a plunge. Look, I’ve sometimes called a friend, or my mom and simply said, “I’m losing the plot”. And they’ve come to my aid. We all need help from time to time. Life can get so hard, but you don’t have to go at it alone. I know of FREE helplines if you want to talk to somebody. Also, if you’re reading this and you’re on the verge of giving up, please don’t give up. Please don’t give up. Please. Don’t give up. 🖤🌸 #2018 #ReflectionswithKambua #mentalillness #Depression. If you’ve ever lost someone to suicide, place a heart here. Here’s mine: 💙

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Why gospel singer Kambua’s marriage has remained childless six years on

Kambua advised people who feel depressed not to fear asking for help as she had done so herself without fear of victimization,Depression affects anyone  and every one regardless of social status nor class

 

Read more on https://classic105.com/latest/

‘I’m a believer in therapy’ Silayio speaks on her battle with depression

Award-winning singer Silayio stamped her way in the live finals of the The Voice of Holland, one of the biggest singing competitions in the world.

In an interview with media personality Adelle Onyango, the Kenyan performing artiste admitted that she had a phase in her life where she went through depression.

Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.

It can afflict anyone, at any age, from childhood to late in life.

Women are about twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression.

She admitted that depression was like an old friend as it started when she was in high school and it has been a battle throughout her adult life.

“It was 2015 and I was working at Mavuno church and I got a phone call from my closest friends and she said she found some emails of her sister who wanted to buy drugs so as to commit suicide, and long story short she eventually committed suicide and that really messed up my brain. I started questioning everything, am I right or wrong. My everything was collapsing and it was really hard. I decided to not tell anyone and went home. I quit my job because I couldn’t fake it. I would wake up in the morning and the first thing I felt was a knot in my stomach which is the anxiety and the terror of being a live and it wasn’t connected to anything tangible but your just empty and afraid and nothing was interesting. I didn’t sing for a month, it was a lost of interest in life.”

She was close to her family members and they got to see that something was wrong with her. they also realized her condition was deteriorating. Through it all they got to understand what was happening to her.  and her sisters supported and learnt how to deal with anxiety in order to help her.

“I’m a believer in therapy, the brain is like an arm its an organ in the body and sometimes it get broken. As a general rule of life treat others the way you would like to be treated. Depression is like grief, what a depressed person feels is guilt, don’t wait until it’s suicidal.”

Watch the video below;

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Doctor describes being floored by her own experience with postpartum depression after years treating patients with the same thing

Dr Tara Lynn Frankhouser never would have hurt her first son, but in the throes of postpartum depression she was afraid to hold him too long.

The doctor never expected that the postpartum depression she’d watched her patients suffer through might strike her too.

Dr Frankhouser was shocked by her own ability to continue to conceal and deny her agony, even on her most desperate days, and now sees that her patients probably try to hide their symptoms from her too.

Six years after her first son was born, Dr Frankhouser has been able to face those fearful times and write an account and analysis of her own the debilitating condition to help doctors like herself identify the often hidden signs of postpartum depression.

Depression has blurred many memories of the first several months of her eldest son’s life, but Dr Frankhouser bravely recounts the horrors of feeling like a danger to her own child and overcoming shame and denial.

‘A lot of women put on a really good show,’ Dr Frankhouser says. PPD is ‘something you want to hide. We are perfectly capable of pretending for an hour that we have it all together for dinner with the family or a doctor’s appointment.

‘I was perfectly capable of that,’ she told Daily Mail Online.

Dr Frankhouser says that the standard questions at follow-up obstetrical and pediatric doctor’s appointments – ‘So, how’s mom doing?’ – are not always adequate.

For months, ‘I would always say “Yeah, I’m fine, I’m great,” and they took that at face value,’ she says.

In reality, once her husband, Charles, went back to work, she found herself petrified by being alone with an often crying newborn in a house steeped in alien baby bottles, diapers and breast pumps.

Outside the door to her son’s nursery, Dr Frankhouser writes that she remembers thinking ‘what mother cannot soothe her own child for fear of her own actions?’

That sort of self-blame is exactly what the doctor and other clinicians have to try to combat with new mothers, who want to be ‘super-moms’ she says.

‘You really can’t take what [patients] are saying at face value, when they’re coming to see you every week and not getting better.’

Dr Frankhouser went over and over to her doctor in the months following her first son’s birth, complaining of ‘headaches.’

Finally, she writes, she had the ‘out-of-body’ experience of telling her husband and then her doctor what she was going through, after crying herself empty.

When her doctor asked if she had thought about hurting herself or her baby, Dr Frankhouser remembers her agonized reply: ‘I wouldn’t hurt him. I don’t want to hurt him. I just put him down and walk away when I feel like I can’t take it anymore. But that’s not the mother I feel like I should be.’

That fear, ‘of society labeling a woman as a bad mother can lead to shame and avoidance in seeking treatment,’ Dr Frankhouser writes.

About three million people develop PPD each year in the US. The condition shares similarities with other forms of depression, but the hormonal changes and poor sleep common to new mothers can exaggerate symptoms like insomnia, irritability and difficulty ‘bonding’ with the baby.

These clinical descriptions of symptoms just don’t do justice to what women like Dr Frankhouser go through, as she recalls in her research.

Feelings of aggression nor antipathy toward their new baby can be a symptom of more sever forms of PPD, but they’re only made worse by a depressed mother’s guilt and fear of stigma.

‘His first six months were kind of a haze,’ she told Daily Mail Online. In writing about her PPD, she says she ‘got back some of those memories – for better or worse.’

Now that she has gotten past her own, Dr Frankhouser has used her experience as motivation to destigmatize postpartum depression (PPD), empathize with patients, and screen every new mother that comes into her office in North Carolina to be sure they get the mental health care they need.

Dr Frankhouser was used to addressing the many stresses of pregnancy and new motherhood while she was doing her osteopathic residency in family medicine.

But when she got pregnant with her first child in 2013, Dr Frankhouser found she had to ‘change her role’ to be a patient.

In a newly-published account and ethnographic study of her experience, she writes of the clear memory of being ‘forever changed by bringing my son into the world,’ and the joy of bringing a happy baby home.

Through examining her own PPD, she identified four themes in ‘the cultural ideologies of intensive mothering and the stigma of mental illness: essentialism, failure, shame, and avoidance.’

She says that the ‘essentialism’ of the intensive experience of early stages of mothering is perhaps under-addressed.

‘A big one for mothers is how connected they are with breastfeeding. It was never successful for me,’ says Dr Frankhouser.

For the first month after her first baby was born, she hardly slept, pumping every three hours around the clock, just trying to be able to feed her son with her own milk.

‘It’s terrible to feel like you can’t pull it off, when society tells you [that] you should be able to. Even if they don’t want to watch you in public, they still expect you to be able to do it,’ says Dr Frankhouser.

Most estimates say that about five percent of women are physically unable to breastfeed, but in one recent study more than 90 percent of mothers had trouble breastfeeding, at least immediately after their babies were born.

Finally, ‘I gave myself permission to stop,’ Dr Frankhouser says. ‘Now I see moms that come in and beat themselves up. I tell them that they can supplement, their baby can have a bottle and it’s okay.’

Once Dr Frankhouser accepted that it was okay to experience PPD and to bottle-feed her baby, she got the help she needed and started taking antidepressants.

Fast-forward six years, and Dr Frankhouser and her son are happy and healthy. She now has another son, age two, and a daughter, age four. She says that when they came along, she and her husband quickly recognized when PPD started to creep back into their lives. She returned to her antidepressants.

‘I think sometimes it’s scary to think about putting something extra in your body when you’re pregnant, but everything we do and feel affects the baby and it’s all a matter of weighing the pros and cons and having the conversation with your doctor,’ she says.

Now, Dr Frankhouser screens every new mother – and many fathers – she sees for PPD, even if they say they’re doing ‘great.’

‘I don’t know if there’s a perfect question to ask,’ she says.

‘I think the best thing we can do is ask open-ended question and give the parents – can’t exclude fathers from that either – give them the space to talk.’

Talking To Yourself IS NOT a Sign Of Madness. Here’s Why It’s Actually Very Helpful

Talking to yourself helps people feel less distressed and more in control of their emotions, new research suggests.

People respond better to negative images or upsetting memories from their past when they ask themselves how they feel in the third person, a study found.

Study author Dr Jason Moser from Michigan State University said: ‘Essentially, we think referring to yourself in the third person leads people to think about themselves more similar to how they think about others, and you can see evidence for this in the brain.

Double portrait  of a businessman facing himself

‘That helps people gain a tiny bit of psychological distance from their experiences, which can often be useful for regulating emotions.’

Study author Professor Ethan Kross from the University of Michigan, added: ‘There are lots of important implications these findings have for our basic understanding of how self-control works, and for how to help people control their emotions in daily life.’

How the study was carried out  

The researchers conducted two studies.

In the first, participants viewed negative or neutral scenes while asking themselves: ‘What am I feeling right now?’

Then, if the participant was called Nancy, they asked themselves: ‘What is Nancy feeling right now?’

During the second part of the experiment, the participants were reminded of events from their past that were expected to cause negative emotions.

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After asking themselves the same questions as before, brain scans were taken to determine any change in the areas associated with emotional control.

The participants also rated how they felt using a five-point scale, with lower scores reflecting less distress.

Key findings

The results of the first study revealed that people’s emotional response to viewing negative or neutral scenes was the same when they asked themselves, for example: ‘What is Nancy feeling right now?’.

Yet, people responded significantly differently when looking at such images and asking themselves ‘What am I feeling right now?’.

The results of the second study revealed that people feel less distressed and more in control of their emotions when talking to themselves in the third person.

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‘Helps people gain psychological distance from their experiences’

Dr Moser said: ‘Essentially, we think referring to yourself in the third person leads people to think about themselves more similar to how they think about others, and you can see evidence for this in the brain.

‘That helps people gain a tiny bit of psychological distance from their experiences, which can often be useful for regulating emotions.’

Professor Kross added: ‘There are lots of important implications these findings have for our basic understanding of how self-control works, and for how to help people control their emotions in daily life.’

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-Daily Mail

30 with no husband or child, I’d rather die

A 29-year-old woman whose greatest wish was to ‘settle down and get married’ killed herself after becoming troubled that she was approaching 30 unmarried and childless.

Rachel Gow, 29, from Haslingden, Lancashire, struggled to overcome the death of her mother, and desperately wanted a family of her own, an inquest heard.

But as her 30th birthday approached, she revealed to family members that she felt she was ‘not where she should be in life’ and that other members of her family were ‘doing better than her.’

The inquest was told that she was worried her boyfriend Anton Tsvarev, 30 would leave her, and suffered a number of insecurities about the relationship.

The day she died, Miss Gow sent him a text message wishing him ‘all the best for the future’ before poisoning herself.

Mr Tsvarev who had been visiting a friend later found Miss Gow but she died despite attempts by him to revive her.

An inquest was told Miss Gow had been an ‘outgoing, adventurous and loving’ young woman who had attained a 2:1 in History from Lancaster University before working at Royal Bolton Hospital.

In a statement read to the Burnley hearing Miss Gow’s brother Stephen Best and her sister Sarah Davidson said: ‘Rachel had been a happy child who had lots of friends, she loved to dance and play the violin.

‘She was very close to her sister Sarah.

‘She was very academic and following A levels she studied at Lancaster University. She also made people laugh. She was proud to be at Lancaster and also a dizzy blonde.’

The statement added: ‘She had three breakups before her relationship with Anton. Her greatest wish was to settle down and get married.’

But Miss Gow’s problems began in 2011 after her mother Connie a primary school teacher died from cancer aged 66 in 2011.

She was due to turn 30 in January this year.

– DAILY MAIL

How menopause can drive women mad

Physical changes of the menopause — from hot flushes to changes in sex drive — are widely known, the toll it can take on women’s mental states is far less understood.

From anxiety and depression to panic attacks and hallucinations, doctors say mental changes stemming from the menopause may strike as many as one in three women — and are often misdiagnosed by doctors.

Professor John Studd, a consultant gynaecologist who runs the London PMS and Menopause Clinic, says: ‘I see five new patients a day at my clinic complaining of anxiety, depression, tearfulness, mood swings, anger or panic attacks. These women have usually been fobbed off or misdiagnosed with a mental health condition by their GP — even psychiatrists are getting it wrong. About 70 per cent are on medication such antidepressants.

‘These aren’t something you want to be taking unnecessarily as they can have side-effects such as weight gain, loss of energy, difficulty concentrating and an increased risk of osteoporosis.

‘If their depression or anxiety is related to their hormones, no antidepressant or alternative therapy is going to solve the problem. Only HRT — which stabilises women’s hormones — will help.’

 

Loneliness Isn’t a Cruel Fate, It’s a Choice

Loneliness is a common thing these days and many people complain that they are lonely and unhappy since it’s a cruel fate. However, it’s actually their choice. Hobbies, money and fame can make you happy, but I strongly believe that children, family and closest friends are real treasures. We all need other people and most of us feel awfully lonely because of lack of communication. These are tips to find out the reason why you feel so lonely;

Bad experience
One of the reasons we often choose loneliness is our desire to protect our feelings. We all have bad experiences with friends, sweetheart or parents, but it doesn’t mean that you should stay away from everyone.

Fear of being rejected
You never know what you get unless you try. Thus, if you want to get to know someone better, do it! Let yourself be vulnerable since it’s a natural human feature.

Steep demands
You should learn to see the good in people in order to understand that everyone is unique and wonderful in their own way.

Laziness
Yes, you read that right! Many people pretend to be lonely just because they don’t want to do at least something to change the situation.

False priorities
We spend most time at work and think that money will make us happier. One should set their priorities wisely not forgetting about family and friends.

http://en.amerikanki.com/loneliness-fate-choice/