Couples share the best ever relationship advices they have received

Men and women have gone online to share their most valuable relationship advice.

The thread was kicked off by user ‘Iron Wolf’, an Italian-American man in his late thirties, who asked what the best tips were for a happy relationship on Reddit.

People didn’t hold back and he was quickly inundated with advice, with users citing communication, trust and effort as the top ways to keep a partner happy.

Many others highlighted the importance of fighting a problem together, rather than attacking each other, and others revealed just how important feeling appreciated was.

Meanwhile some revealed the key to keeping their partners happy was to performing daily acts of kindness, and never to ‘argue to win’.

Elsewhere, users cited putting in 100 per cent effort, understanding that things which may not matter to you are important to your partner, and assessing whether you can live with small annoyances rather than continuously arguing about them.

A relationship advice thread was kicked off on Reddit this week by user 'Iron Wolf', an Italian-American man in his late thirties, who asked what the best tips were for a happy relationship

A relationship advice thread was kicked off on Reddit this week by user ‘Iron Wolf’, an Italian-American man in his late thirties, who asked what the best tips were for a happy relationship

One male user aged 30-34 highlighted the importance of fighting a problem together, rather than attacking each other, and many revealed just how important feeling appreciated was

One male user aged 30-34 highlighted the importance of fighting a problem together, rather than attacking each other, and many revealed just how important feeling appreciated was

Another male user aged 35-39 explained that doing simple tasks to help around the house and make each other's lives easier went a long way

Relationship Goals! 8 Kenyan power couples worth emulating

At the rate marriages in Kenya are ending, one would wonder whether there are couples worth emulating?

Today we share with you a list of Kenya couples who we think should inspire you in your journey.

From Size 8 to Wahu here are the most celebrated couples in Kenya;

1. Cathy and Allan Kiuna

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Pastor Allan Kiuna with his wife Cathy Kiuna

2 Janet and Eddy Ndichu

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Janet Mbugua with her hubby Eddy Ndichu taking a stroll in Paris

Former Nairobi D cast member Risper Faith accidentally reveals she is pregnant

3. Mercy and David Muguro

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Gospel artiste Mercy Masika with hubby David Muguro

4.The Murayas

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Size 8 Reborn with hubby DJ Mo

Be sensitive! Isaac Mwaura’s wife pleads with people asking hurtful things about son

5. Lulu Hassan and Rashid Abdalla

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Citizen TV presenter Lulu Hassan with hubby Rashid Abdalla and son

6. Joyce Omondi and Waihiga Mwaura

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Joyce Omondi with hubby Waihiga Mwaura

7. Nameless and Wahu

Nameless and wife Wahu
Nameless and wife Wahu

 

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Oops! Top CEO Claims That Men Don’t Live As Long As Women Because Their WIVES Nag Them To DEATH

An NHS boss has sparked outrage after saying men die younger because “they are nagged to death” by their wives.

Sir Andrew Morris, chief executive of Frimley Health NHS Foundation Trust, was labeled a dinosaur for his controversial comment.

The remark was made just days after experts said life expectancy improvements are grinding to a halt because of the ailing NHS.

They noted how boys born today can now expect to live for 79.2 years, where as girls will be expected to reach 82.9.

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He told a think-tank meeting: “Usually the blokes die off earlier because they’re nagged to death by the other half.”

In attendance for the “shocking” comment were Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt and Simon Stevens, chief executive of NHS England.

Overall, more than 150 leading experts in their field attended The King’s Fund briefing to discuss money-saving plans.

‘PATRONISING’ COMMENTS

Delegates described the comment made by Sir Morris, who reportedly earns £220,000 a year – as “patronising”.

Sir Morris, knighted in 2015, has previously been named the country’s top health chief executive for his leadership qualities, The Sun reports.

He is also one of the longest-serving bosses in the health service, taking up the head role at the trust in 1989.

Fiance

The 61-year-old apologised to the newspaper. He said: “I made a comment that I realised right away was completely inappropriate. I would like to apologise unreservedly for any offence that it caused.”

But Jon Rouse, from the Greater Manchester Health and Social Care Partnership, said on Twitter that “dinosaurs still roam in East Berkshire”.

Lizzy Dobres, from the UK Council for Psychotherapy, said the comment showed there was still ‘such a long way to go’.

She added: ‘Shocked to hear Andrew Morris say men die younger cause “women nag them”.’

Others branded the apology as meaningless. Andrew McCracken, from National Voices, said it was “rubbish”.

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Relationship Goals! This Is The BIGGEST MISTAKE Women Do On The First Date

Once a man is in love with a woman, he will definitely want to know her better. That means a date will be involved in the process.

Ladies, you might be carried away by his looks or voice or the one thing makes you go koo koo. But one thing stands! There is that one big mistake women make on the first date. You ask what?

7 Things You Shouldn’t Do On A First Date

Ladies tend to tell the man almost everything about them. My point is, DO NOT tell a man everything you like on the first date. By doing that, you give this man, that you barely know, treasure map to your heart. He will do everything you like and you on the other hand will never come to know him (Until its too late.)

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Singer Dela Reveals If She Would Date a Younger Man, And How Many Kids She Plans To Have In The Future (EXCLUSIVE)

Let the guy think about it, and by that I mean you should be mysterious. Let him think deep of what you like, let him think what he could buy you as a perfect gift. If you tell him you love chocolates, he will definately shower you with lots of them. You will get that until he gets what he wants, then he will give you what he really has to offer.

So slow down. don’t tell him everything, make him wonder about it.

 

Love After Jiggers Cure: 10 Couples Exchange Vows After Jigger Infestation (PHOTOS)

There was celebration in Kandara after 10 couples that have been rehabilitated from jigger infestation took their vows in a mass wedding ceremony on Saturday.

The ceremony that was organized by the Ahadi Kenya Trust saw thousands of relatives and locals flock the Kagundu-ini grounds to witness the wedding of the 10 couples.

Majority of them had been immobilized by jiggers that had condemned them to abject poverty and reduced them to beggars.

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Their families had also been isolated from the society and could not take part in communal activities as they lived as rejects.

“No one wanted to be associated with me as I was severely affected by jigger infestation and i did not know where to turn even when I needed help,” said Nduati wa Betty, one of the grooms.

Nduati told the congregation that he met his wife Alice Wairimu after he healed from jigger infestation and that they are now living together.

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The 55 years old peasant farmer and father of four said he still experiences pain in one of his legs even after healing as it was severely infested.

Ahadi Kenya CEO Stanley Kamau said the wedding ceremony was a culmination of the 10 years journey that his firm has taken in its fight against jiggers.

He said the wedding signified the beginning of the next phase of fighting with jiggers that entails re-integrating the victims back into the society.

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“It is wonderful that thousands of people have come out today to witness this wedding yet a few years ago even their relatives did not want anything to do with them,” Kamau said.

He said the event was significant in encouraging the victims to feel as part of the society and even take part in communal activities.

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“I am happy to announce that some of them met their spouses after recovering after living in solitude for the better part of their adult lives,” Kamau noted.

He said when he visited Kagundu-ini village 10 years ago when he was starting his anti-jigger campaign, all he saw was pain, poverty and hopelessness but that all that has been transformed.

Kamau said some of the grooms and brides had travelled in a car for the first time as they went to church for their wedding while others had never tasted a cake.

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“This is a message to all those who are still suffering from this disorder to know that there is life after jigger infestation,” he noted.

Each couple received a dairy cow from the organization while Murang’a County representative Sabina Chege gave them a pair of chickens to empower them.

Chege said she was glad to see the couples sing and dance saying it was a lesson to all NGOs to use donor funding to transform lives.

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“These couples will now be able to source for employment and support their families now that they have fully recovered,” she said.

Here’s Why You Should Ask Your Husband For Permission

A friend of mine always asks for permission from her partner every time we have to go out and I realised quite a number of my married friends do that. Others will simply go about their social plans without seeking their spouse’s permission because they may find it quite “childish” which begs the question, should a wife ask for permission before stepping out?

Here’s why it’s a good thing:

1. Asking permission is a sign of respect – Why wouldn’t a couple consult each other first before placing something on the calendar, applying for a new job, or moving? These things affect both of you, so you need to discuss it first out of respect for one another.

2. It ensures less conflict later – The phrase “just do it and ask for forgiveness later” doesn’t work in marriage. You need to ask each other first, so it will be less likely for you to fight about a decision later. When we make a decision together beforehand, no matter what the outcome may be, it helps stay unified and resist pointing fingers at one another later.

3. Both feel empowered – Some may argue that asking for permission creates a marriage that’s more like a parent-child relationship, but that isn’t true when both ask for it. Let me be clear here: it’s NOT healthy or acceptable for one partner to constantly have to ask the other for permission when the partner being asked goes off and does whatever he/she pleases. This is manipulative and unloving and can lead to abusive behavior.

Whenever we go to our spouse to consult with him/her on a decision, we both walk away empowered. It doesn’t mean that we couldn’t make that particular decision on our own; it just means that we don’t want to. We love and respect our spouse enough to seek his/her guidance and desire to make a collective decision.

4. Make better decisions – When we ask for our partner’s permission before deciding to do things — like have a girls’ night out, go to the game with the guys, take on another job, change jobs, choose when to go to the gym, switch day cares, go back to school, serve on the PTA — we get more perspective and insight from each other and make a more informed decision. We help each other weigh the pros and cons to decide if something is a good fit or at the right time. Sure, some of the scenarios listed are bigger decisions than others, but all are important enough to discuss as a couple.

5. It keeps you engaged in each other’s lives – Sadly, I hear from too many married couples who are stuck in a lonely, un-engaged existence. Some are nothing more than roommates living separate lives like passing ships in the night. They wake up, say “hello,” go to work without a call or text to one another all day, come home, run the kids to where they need to go, eat dinner without a word, maybe meet up with a friend or focus all their attention on the kids, say “goodnight” and go to bed — in two different worlds, a million miles apart.

What happened? They stopped engaging in the “everyday moments.” They stopped talking. They stopped trying. They assumed they could do it all on their own, and they did. Why be married if you want to go it alone? We need to know and be a part of everything going on in each others’ lives. This keeps the flame blazing.

The engagement should NEVER stop. Marriage calls for deeper engagement between husband and wife, and asking for permission and insight from one another is a big part of staying connected.

-Yourtango

Here’s How To Stop Fighting

Fighting (non physical) is part of every healthy relationship. Disagreements and arguments every once in a while are not unusual but can become problematic if the parties involved don’t know how to fight fair. 

It is possible to fight and still maintain peace within the relationship. Here’s how;

1 Be defenceless – Instead of fighting your partner and raising your voice against each other. When both of you are angry it’s best for at least one of you to keep calm. It will allow for rational thinking as opposed to having two petrol bombs together because the explosion will be massive.

2. Listen when your partner is upset – It will help have a clear understanding as to why your partner is angry. Talking back as they explain why they are pissed will only make things worse and there will be no communication. Listening allows you to be rational and will also create an environment where the angry partner will feel like they matter.

3. Take responsibility for the offence and apologise – Accept your fault and apologise then move forward. It will simplify things and avoid the back and forth blame game. However explain why the issue arose and why you reacted the way you did for purposes of clarity.

4. Stand together and attack the misunderstanding – Instead of fighting each other, deal with the issue at hand. Attacking each other will not help make things easy for anyone.

Happy Couples Do This ….

Happiness is a state of mind but it also comes from making a choice to be that way, first as an individual then as a partner when you are in a relationship. Happy couples are people who simply choose to do simple things for each other and live in “happiness” everyday.

Simple habits that many take for granted are what happy couples do everyday;

1. Use the word “we” – There’s no “I” in “relationship” or “marriage.” Wait, actually there is… But not metaphorically speaking. One of the great things about being in a relationship is becoming “one.” This means that his pain is your pain or her fears are your fears. And if one partner achieves success you can say, “We did it!”

2. Brag about each other – They aren’t afraid to let other people know what a great person their partner is. In fact, they are proud of their spouse.

3. Make goals together – Super happy couples set goals on a weekly and yearly basis. They have direction in their life. These goals may be small things like “eat 3 vegetables a day” or “smile at everyone we see this week.” But they can also be bigger goals such as “save enough money to take a trip to Mexico” or “learn how to speak sign language.” Either way, setting goals helps these couples to be happy because they are progressing and supporting each other in their dreams.

4. Learn each other’s love languages – The best couples know how to express love to their partner in a way that their partner will recieve it. Even if you repeatedly tell your wife you love her and remind her how amazing she is, she might not be hearing it if her love language is physical touch. Super happy couples know how to communicate their love in a way their partner will feel it.

5. Clean together – Doing menial tasks with someone you love transforms chores into parties. You’ll make memories jamming out to Disney songs while scrubbing the oven and cultivate an atmosphere for conversation that will both strengthen your relationship and make your life a little more sunny.

6. Share inside jokes – Super happy couples will hear a word that doesn’t mean much to the speaker but they’ll make eye contact and burst into fits of giggles. Cultivate jokes that are special to just the two of you.

7. Talk throughout the day – Super happy couples have each other on their mind. They can’t wait until evening to tell their partner about the roadside drama or getting 100% on a test. If nothing else, happy couples call to check on each other’s days during lunch or to square away evening plans.

8. Date – It doesn’t matter if they’re married, super happy couples go on dates. That’s right, a pre-planned event where they spend time getting to know each other better. It can be a fancy dinner or something casual like going for a walk in the park. The important thing is spending quality one-on-one time together.

Times To Avoid Arguments With Your Partner

Let’s face it guys…every couple fights. What matters in a fair fight is the way it’s done and how you settle the differences. There are times when your spouse totally gets on your nerves and you would want to pick a fight with them, but sometimes it may not be an appropriate time and here’s why:

When either of you is driving – If at all it’s not safe to even drink and drive, why would you want to argue? Arguments will distract your partner and just in a split second you could both end up in a ditch. I’m pretty sure it can wait till you get home.
On your way to workFor the sake of a good day at work, do not argue while he’s dropping you off. You both don’t need to have a bad day ahead.


When there are other people around – The relationship is between the two of you, why would you want the whole world to do know your dirty laundry? Relax, smile and wait to deal with it later.


In front of childrenYour children should not see or hear you argue, it will not give a good picture to them besides you might say things in anger that may affect the child’s perception of the parent.


If you are feeling tired, stressed out or even hungry Your moods will probably affect what you say and you may end up taking your work related stress out on someone who has nothing to do with it.


When either or both of you are under the influence of alcohol Alcohol affects your thinking and you may just say something that you didn’t mean to. So avoid fighting during tipsy moments because you can’t take that back.


Special days like Birthdays, Anniversaries – Don’t ruin the day with arguments, just enjoy and deal with the issues the next day.

Simple Ways To Make Your Life More Romantic

We get caught up with life and work that we tend to ignore the ones we love most. It doesn’t mean that we don’t think about them, it simply means that there is no more or very less romance between couples. But here’s how you can change that:
Spend quality time – Sometimes you maybe in the same room for hours but not talk to each other simply because you are busy with your own work. If you are alone with your husband make sure you spend the time talking to him.
Arrange for a date – If you have kids, arrange for a baby sitter and go out on a date. If he enjoys dancing then you can hit a nice place where you can shake a leg. If your man would like to indulge in some games take him to a bowling parlour. Believe it this will work like a charm.
Be the chef – Food is the easiest way to a man’s heart. So, cook a great meal comprising of the dishes he likes. But if you aren’t convinced about your culinary skills don’t try and experiment, order food from his favourite restaurant and then set up some candles for a romantic candlelight dinner.
Leave love notes – Whether it’s leaving some love notes around the house or SMSes or email, write him a lovey-dovey note. Men may pretend to be tough but they do like to know that they are on your mind.
Express it loud – Though you may have sent him a love note or email, there’s nothing like professing your love every now and then. Do let him know that after all the years as a married couple you are still very much in love with him.
Shower him with attention – Dote on him once in a while. Praise him for his hard work. Men love attention though they may claim otherwise. Praise him for his taste in clothes or perfumes, he’s sure to like it a lot.
Find ways to spend time together – It could be while travelling to or from work or just going shopping together or even a long drive after dinner. If you can’t head out for a vacation just find ways to be in each other’s company.
Let him spend time with his gang – Yes, you should spend some time together, but your man will really appreciate it if you let him spend an evening with his buddies. Ensure that you don’t call him during the time when he is with his friends.
Appreciate things he does – Even if it’s something simple, try and tell him how much you appreciate his help around the house. More then the praise and attention that you shower on him, it’s this appreciation that will make him fall in love with you all over again.

-TNN

Three Tips To Increase Intimacy

Intimacy is more than just sex and foreplay; it involves other things that we do on a day to day basis. Some of these things we may take for granted but we could use them to build our relationships.

Which things could this be? And what other ways could we build intimacy with our partners?

Here are three simple things that you could do daily to increase intimacy in your relationship.

  1. Communication – Ask your partner the right questions like what they need, what they are feeling, what they are comfortable with, what they like etc. It’s not enough to only talk about work, finances, bills etc but find out what new things they have discovered. Be honest with each other about any issues you may be having and don’t shy away from talking about what you want in the sack, both before and after.
  2. Selflessness – It’s not always about you, so think about what your partner wants and try as much as you can to fulfill their needs. It’s not something that will be immediate so be patient about it. It will help build both physical and emotional connection and you will both get better “returns” in the bedroom.
  3. More respect and patience – Quick fixes are useful and appropriate in solving minor issues but not intimacy. Treat your partner with respect and when making love, do it with feelings and connection don’t just rush through it. Making love is something that you have to work through slowly. It’s an art so let it build slowly organically.

Five Ways For Couples To Be Happy

Couples cannot be happy if they don’t put in work towards being happy. Happiness is not something that will automatically happen just because you are in a relationship. Stress from our daily lives will affected us in one way or another and by extension affect the way we relate to people at some point.

The best way to ensure happiness is to work together and improve the most meaningful intimate relationship in your life. Learning how to make your partner happy should be your goal and vice versa, it’s not as hard as it may sound and it’s also not as easy because it will take time. Below are a few tips on how to.

  1. Listen – This doesn’t mean that you sit across your partner and just nod to everything they say in agreement. It means you give them undivided attention, engage them in what they say, acknowledge the message being put across and do not judge them. Your vocal tone, posture and facial expression should be in sync with that of your partner.
  1. Request for what you want – No one can read your mind, well unless they are a mind reader so unless you really say what you want then your partner will not know. This is mostly common with women who will assume that her man will know what she wants, which is a misconception. Do not assume, simply communicate what you want to your partner and talk about it. Do not demand.
  1. Try out new things together – People do different things and there are some that you could do together. Maybe he loves cycling, you could accompany him to the Karura forest cycling track and spend time together. If she’s an artist, you could take her to an art festival and watch her being in her element. Both of you could learn different things. It’s also important that you share the experience to know whether it’s working for both of you or maybe you could change to another thing.
  1. Express gratitude – No one owes you anything so you should not take your partner for granted. Say “thank you”, “I appreciate” etc to show your partner that you acknowledge their effort. Finding ways to express it outwardly is even more important for your relationship.
  1. Show affection – When you are in a relationship, you should care enough to do it well. Hug them, hold their hand as you walk, embrace her when she’s feeling low, be there when he needs someone to talk etc. This should go both ways and as often as possible.

Here Are The Tests All Serious Couples Go Through

Trials are normal in everyday life for people, whether single or as a couple. However it is different for single people because the decisions will only affect you.

For couples it is a bit intense as the trials couples go through will either strengthen the relationship or break it. Some of these tests include living apart due to work , infidelity, coping with in-laws, or when a partner loses their job etc.

Before you commit to a marriage or a longterm commitment there are tests that you should subject yourself through:

1. Finances test: This is one of the top reasons why many couple fight and even end up in divorce. You have to be able to agree on expenses, budgets ,savings etc. If you are to be together then you need to build trust in this are. If you cannot trust your partner with your money then why would you trust anyone else? And why would you spend your life with them?

2. Shopping test: Are you able to walk into Gikomba or Nakumatt together and just shop without getting frustrated or without arguing about what product is better than the other? Going shopping is great but if you can’t seem to get over the walking around in a filled up mall or overcrowded areas without getting agitated and screaming at each other then you might want to consider how serious you are. Its something basic and if you can’t agree on small things then you won’t agree on bigger things.

3. Living together : This is the best way to test each others patience. It doesn’t mean you should live together, you could go on a week long trip or vacation to a place that will require you to do your own laundry, cook etc. Do so regularly and see how things will work. It will also enable you to see what habits you can put up with and those that you can’t. 

Single People Hate Being Among These Kinds Of Couples

We all have people or rather couples that we know who are annoying to be around because of the way they behave. It doesn’t mean that we are jealous of them, but we get it that you are in love but some habits are not pleasing to anyone but rather irritating.

If you notice that your friends no longer want to hang around you, then maybe you belong to a certain class of couples that many people avoid. Here is a list:

1. The PDA Couple – Making out is not bad, in fact it’s allowed but you have to consider the environment you are in. Being in love doesn’t give you permission to shove your tongues inside each other’s mouths and be all over each other at the restaurant, coffee shop or the movies etc where other people are. There’s a time and place for everything you can do all that in your house.

2. The show off couple – Whatever happens between the two of you should stay between you. The rest of the world does not need to know where you are going, what you are doing, the food you eat all the time. And yes we are happy for you but we don’t need info that is irrelevant to us. Let’s talk about things we have in common like sports, cars, music or even news. Talking about your relationship all the time bores us to death especially on days that we have issues to deal with, rubbing your happiness on our faces makes us sick.

3. The Putting on a show Couple – You have friends that you talk to when you feel like your man has irritated you or has done something wrong. So technically we know when you are having issues. No one is happy when others are sad or in pain unless you don’t wish them well. But seeing as we know your issues there’s no point pretending to be happy for the cameras when you are clearly not and on that note why are you still together if you keep complaining about them?

4. The On-Again, Off-Again Couple – We are tired and very confused about your relationship status. One minute you are dating the next you are exes. As friends we will take you out for drinks to help you de-stress and cry out the break up. But the moment it turns into a second and third time, we will be done and out. Learn to sort out your mess.

5. The Cupids – Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I want to be hooked up. As a couple you get to enjoy things in twos and as a single I get to enjoy them alone or with a friend. But that doesn’t mean that I am lonely so stop trying to hook me up with your friends, cousins, colleagues etc.

6. The “We” Couple – This is when a couple have grown together into one single human being. You happen to be buddies with the girl but when an invite comes along it’s “we want you to come with us to the park, movies , swimming etc” They come as a pair in everything they do and you will be the third wheel up until you get a partner. While it’s fine to be in love, I want my girls’ time with my girl and that doesn’t include your man.

7. The Drama team – This happens to be the worst of the bunch and you would totally hate to be caught up between them because you will always be the referee. One minute they are in love all happy, chatting and smiling. The next moment their voices are raised while trading insults or worse, exchanging blows and kicks amidst tears. Sort out your mess in private please. It’s not a good look.

Five Things You Should Never Say During A Fight With Your Partner

Every couple will have arguments and disagreements every once in a while, but that doesn’t give one the right to be rude or mean.

People often say things when angry and that is why it’s always advisable to take time out and calm down before talking to your partner.

With that in mind there are some things that no matter how angry you are, you should not say to your partner.
Here are some of the phrases that you should never ever say during a fight.

‘All this is your fault’ – It’s common to want someone else to take the blame when things go haywire. Unfortunately it doesn’t solve anything as in most cases it will be a back and forth of who did what and who didn’t do what. In the long run no problem will be solved. Instead of trading blame simply find a way to resolve the issue amicably by talking calmly. Say something like — “I felt like you ignore my sentiments and I didn’t like the way you responded, I should have said something”. This shows that you have taken responsibility for your part in the mistake.

‘You always do this’ – Saying this shows that you have been keeping track of the mistakes from previous times and haven’t forgiven. Instead you should try this approach “I would like this matter to be sorted differently unlike how we have been doing it before” and then state why you think it didn’t work previously.  This will prevent going around in circles.

‘I want space/break’ – In as much as you may not mean this, it may actually end your relationship and it’s one of those statements that are hard to take back. If you accidentally say it, offer an apology immediately but know that it’s not a guarantee that your partner may want to hear of it.

‘You’re such a coward’ – This is mostly common with women and if it slips out be sure it will take a lot more than an apology because you just bruised someone’s ego. This will also put a man on the defense and it might turn into a name calling situation which you don’t need. Just say things from where you stand and how you see it without having to call out your partner.

‘You need to talk to me right now’ – There are various reasons why people don’t like talking when they are angry and it’s best to let them cool off. While your need to get answers may be important, expressing yourself in a demanding matter will not get you anywhere. Go and cool off then come back and have a decent conversation.

Do’s and Dont’s Of Couple Vacations

Are you planning to go on a vacation with your partner? There are things you should know before you plan the trip.

It may be a good time for the both of you to relax and spend time together away from the hustle of work, school and business and also build  on your intimacy but there are things that you shouldn’t do.

Make use of the vacation – There is always pressure to take time of work and set a date suitable for a holiday. As opposed to waiting for the long holidays which are usually busy like Xmas, New year, Easter etc. Take a long weekend off like Jamhuri , Mashujaa day etc and plan around it.

Pack smart – It’s better to have the things you need as opposed to carrying everything. Leave your set of Michael Kors watches at home its safe and besides you don’t need them.Stick to the basics, and if you can, limit everything to one or two bags. Then, your stuff won’t get lost and that’s automatically one less thing to worry about.

Divide and rule – Splitting everything down the middle except for a few romantic dinners and presents will stop any money-related resentment in its tracks. Keep track of your expenses so everything evens out.

Spend time alone – It’s ok to spend time together but it’s also ok to spend time alone. You don’t have to tag your partner along on everything and every adventure you seek. Besides you can both share your solo experiences together.

Be spontaneous – Do random things don’t plan every detail of the day. It may be a good idea to go on the tourist trips but the sites will always be there and that’s an excuse for a second trip. Don’t spend all your time on planned things go to random spots just because you can.

Take pictures for memories not social media – Take pictures, it’s romantic and the memories will last. But don’t be taking pictures to post on social media. You don’t want to judge the worth of your love based on the number of likes on social media. Also, it’s just for safety reason recently a couple was robbed because they shared every move on social media, take the tip.

Try new things – It’s good to try new things get out of your comfort zone and do stuff you wouldn’t usually do at home. Try out new cuisines, local drinks, dance in weird warehouses, get tattoos but remember not everything is worth trying. Be wary of people trying to sell you miraculous medicines with healing properties, you might just get drugged then mugged.

Give room for love – You are having fun and enjoying the holiday and the site seeing but don’t forget about your partner. You should show your romantic side and remember to keep the intimacy flame alive.

Research –There’s really no place that is 100% safe.  It’s always advised to do some research before-hand about where you’re going before you book your tickets. Get to know the cultures and traditions of the place so that you don’t get into trouble with the law. Besides better be safe than sorry.

Plan more vacations – Don’t make your random trip a one-time romantic trip that happens once every nine years. Keep planning trips, taking pictures, saving your money for other trips besides Mombasa. You can visit Lamu, Kisumu, Nanyuki, Narok etc Couples who complain of stagnancy should know that inertia is avoidable. If you do enough to keep things from getting boring, they simply won’t get boring.

-TOI

Top 7 Kenyan actors and their spouses

We probably watched them on our favourite local shows such as Tahidi High, Mother-in-law, Papa Shirandula and films with no idea what goes on in their lives behind the lens. A snippet into the Kenyan actors and actresses personal lives, reveals their amazing families.

Whether married to a fellow actor or actress, below is our list of our top Kenyan actors and actresses with their spouses

1. Kate Kamau(Celina- of mother-in-law) with husband former Tahidi high actor Philip Karanja

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2. Joy Karambu (Kawira – Papa Shirandula) and husband Ephantus Wahome
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3. Abel Mutua- Freddy Tahidi high and wife  Judy Nyawira
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4. Dennis Mugo(OJ)- Tahidi High and Lynn Shiko
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5. Jolene- Tahidi High and fiance Kennedy Nyogz

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6. Sharon Mutuku – (Sofia – Machachari actress) and husband Ben

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7. Liz Njagah and Alex Konstaantaras

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Common Habits Of All Unhappy Couples

Many couples are unhappy and it’s not because of things that they can’t change, it’s because of issues that they bring upon themselves. Sometimes it’s done knowingly sometimes it’s not.

Have a look at these habits and see how they affect your relationships plus how you can work them out.

They compare their behavior now to their behavior when they dated. 

In the early days, months, years of the relationship, couples are usually more romantic (or PDA-inclined) than much later on. With time some of the romance will fade over time — and while it’s important to address it, bringing up the past rarely helps the matter.  According to Anne Crowley a Texas-based psychologist, Instead of getting bogged down in the past, see what happens when you tell your spouse you miss them. Often times it is intimacy that we are seeking with our spouse and anger only serves to push them away. Communication is the bridge to intimacy. When we feel connected with our spouse, we feel loved and valued.

They are pros at passive aggressive – According to Marina Sbrochi, a relationship expert and the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. “If your partner models contemptuous behavior, you’ll most likely pick up that vibe and escalate the issue,” she said. “You’ll both walk away silently cursing each other.”

To put an end to the silent treatment, you need to get smarter with your argument style. “The next time you argue, take note of how one person’s attitude is contagious,” she said. “Instead of matching attitude, stop the bad-attitude train. Listen respectively and try to figure out what exactly your partner is trying to say to you.”

They can’t agree on who’s right and who’s wrong – How does it feel to date someone who wants to have the last say and wants to always be right? It must be exhausting. Partners who need to be right at the expense of their loved one’s feelings push each other away, said LiYana Silver, a relationship expert and coach.

“They try to get the other person to submit by shaming them, bullying them, out-smarting them or shutting them out,” she said. “If you’re a partner who constantly needs to be right, ask yourself: ‘What’s so important to my partner about this issue? What about it am I not seeing?’ This will shift the dynamic from adversarial to allied and genuine curiosity in a relationship is disarming and heart-opening. It will put you back on the same team.”

They allow their relationship to grow stale – If you want a long-term relationship to last, making an effort to share new and exciting experiences is essential. When couples fall into ruts and routines, they stop growing together and run the risk of growing apart.

If you find yourself bored by your partner, try something new together: tackle that recipe you found on Pinterest, go for a hike or schedule date nights again.

They lose sight of their partnership – Your partner should be your ride-or-die bestie, your partner in crime. One thing unhappy couples have in common is losing sight of that unbreakable partnership. Life changes when we marry or get serious. We start to go through the motions and we don’t feel bonded or connected anymore. To regain that sense of partnership, try to actively show your partner how much you appreciate them

-Huffingtonpost