Breaking up is never easy for anyone so don’t listen to those who said it wasn’t that hard to move on, that will definitely depend on how long or how much you cared for the person.
Moving on from someone you deeply cared about is going to be tough, keep in mind different people have different ways of handling pain so there’s no standard way of getting over a break up.
Here are five things that can help to remedy the pain and withdrawal of a breakup.
1. Listen to music that captures how you feel – Sometimes, crying is what we need to make us feel better. Music makes that process not only possible, but oddly empowering.
Hearing words and feelings painted by others through song enables us to feel empathy in the face of terrible rejection and loss. Simply hearing these kinds of familiar melodies and lyrics helps to remind us of the real, shared and universal human pain that follows the loss of someone we care about.
2. Accept that relationships are 50/50 – Any personal relationship, romantic or not, requires equal parts effort from both parties. In addition, it stands to reason that meshing two different personalities will inevitably result in two different approaches to any relationship.
You set yourself up for failure and disappointment when you expect others to follow through, make decisions and act as you’d expect yourself to in any situation. You control 50 percent of any relationship you’re in. You control your own thoughts, emotions and actions. You cannot and will not control those of your partner.
Remember that anytime a relationship does not work out, you’re only 50 percent of that puzzle. This way, if a potential flame burns out with a member of the opposite sex, you can rest easier knowing you will always be only 50 percent of a puzzle that takes two to assemble.
3.Blame love – This is a very important point that will save you a lot of heartache. Don’t blame any person, including yourself, no matter how tempting it may be. Instead, if it’s any consolation, blame it on love. Try to personify the love. You will find coping easier and more understandable, rather than trying to analyze the deep-seated complexities of the relationship.
Love did not choose to continue its path for you two. Love did not rest the same way in another’s heart as it did in yours. Love left, for whatever reason. But, love will return. Rest assured, with time, love will return to you.
4. Focus on you – As clichéd as it may be, the truth is developing a stern focus on bettering yourself in light of a hurtful breakup is a wonderful and positive way to channel terribly negative energy.
Learn to cook, fish or try a new hobby, point is do something fresh and new. Bettering ourselves post-breakup in one way or another will eventually help to spark and keep the interest of someone new. Down the road, we will find someone who is attracted to our new tastes, the new body we’ve sculpted, and our commitment to our work or our passions.
5. Give yourself time before dating again – Allow for the quick passage of time to do its work and bring someone new into our lives. Never lose hope and never let your faith waver: You will love again.
It’s simply a matter of where, when and how that next love will choose to come into your life, sweep you off your feet and show you what it means to say those three words once again.
-Michael Becker -ED