I gave my husband Sh240,000 for a college degree

 

In many marriages or living situations, spouses go the extra mile for their loved ones.

It is not uncommon to hear a man or woman say they paid for their spouse to get a better education. The motivation being that things will get better financially for the family.

A female breadwinner revealed on Classic 105 that she put her husband through University, but he is ‘ungrateful’.

She explains her predicament

When I met my husband we both had diplomas and were employed in the same place, so when an opportunity arose for him to go to school, I supported him to go to campus.

She worked hard to support her husbands through school

I was paying fr his campus, I gave him Sh240k lumpsum money, coz he was going for regular courses to cater for fees and accommodation, so when he finished campus and he came back home, he wanted a better paying job.

He wanted to move into another job, and once again the loving wife helped him out

There was a job, but he didn’t get through, so he asked me for a favor to get it. I helped him get the job. In his former job he was earning 30k but the new offer was 170k,

The strategy of supporting her man did not work in her favor, as he soon showed his true colors

and the thing is when it was my turn to go to school, he didn’t support me, he didn’t even attend my graduation, but we are still together, I still love him, and now we are even building a house.

Girls, do you expect a big pay off later when you help your man?

what has been your experience, share below.

Also read more here

 8 Things couples do everyday to build a successful marriage

 
Here are some of the things people who want to help their partners be more successful– and make their marriage stronger–do for each other:

‘She’s old and not going anywhere’ Mans reason for avoiding marriage

1. They ask for help

People who want a successful marriage are willing to ask for help. For two reasons – they need help and know it will build the esteem of their partner.

2. They’re patient

Showing patience is an indication you care deeply for and have confidence in your spouse.

3. They set a great example

A good partner sets a good example and makes it possible for you to be a better you.

Stunning female celebrities who we think would make cute babies (photos)

4. They compliment, they recognize, and they praise

When you see a positive trait in your spouse, tell them, praise them and push them to do positive things with that trait. There is nothing as good as praise and appreciation from the person you have committed your life to.

5. They allow space and privacy

This means we share some things, others we keep private until that spouse feels the need to share their thoughts, hopes and feelings.

He took dowry by force after I said ‘No’ to marriage

7. They find happiness in their partner’s success

Great marriages work by teamwork. While one leads, the other follows.

8. They’re sincere and genuine

Sometimes we forget to say nice grateful words, or even go the extra mile for our spouses.

Also read more here

5 signs the guy you’re dating is immature 

 

Having an emotionally immature partner can impact the overall health of your relationship.

If you notice the guy you are dating likes acting like a player, then it’s a clear indication he is. Players are the epitome of being too immature and too self-centered for a real relationship.

Here are other sings to look out for in a man who is labelled as emotionally immature.

 

Can’t hold a job for a long period
A job is a kind of commitment, letting you know that if he can commit to a job, he is going to make things work out in his relationship.

Always late for a date
Showing up late on a date is a serious sign of disrespect. Clearly he doesn’t take your time seriously and doesn’t value the fact that you’re taking time out of your day to see him. If he can’t be respectful enough to be on time, it’s time to call it quits.

He whines when things don’t go his way
When a guy does this, it’s just disrespectful and unattractive. It only proves that he’s too much of a baby to deal with the problems that life hands us all.

He feels entitled to everything
Has he watched one too many movies where the “guy gets the girl“? If he throws a fit just because he isn’t with a girl that he deems sexy enough for him, it’s time to cut your losses. Life isn’t a Disney movie, and he needs to grow up and realize that. The entitlement issues he has will only become more apparent as time passes.

He avoids serious conversation
You can never really get him to commit to anything serious or at times he won’t own up to his mistakes. He will turn the tables and make you apologize.

Also read more here

The most annoying wedding request couples can ever ask Maina Kageni

 

If you’re not planning on paying for your wedding entirely, but rely on friends, count Maina Kageni out.

First of all why are wedding so expensive these days?

Some couples, or their families, decide they simply must pull out all the stops for a wedding. They want nothing but the best, even if they can’t afford to pay for it. To facilitate their dreams, they call on friends to fork out the money.

Maina is having none of these. He spoke about it in a discussion with Mwalimu Kingangi about failed relationships and more specifically people referred to as serial divorcees.

He said,

never invite me to a pre-wedding. I will never contribute, why should I con tribute for another man to go  and enjoy someone? I left the group

Back in April this year, a bride cancelled her wedding after friends refused to contribute to her dream wedding.

Her budget was 60,000 pounds, and explains why it’s expensive

“A local psychic told us to go with the more expensive option, and we thought why the hell not?”

She made sure to RSVP the wedding with a cash demand.

The bride also explained she “made it CLEAR. If you couldn’t contribute, you weren’t invited to our exclusive wedding. It’s a once and a lifetime [sic] party.”

Much to the bride’s dismay, she and her fiancé quickly discovered that people were not willing to pay $1,500 to attend their special day.

In a now deleted Facebook post, she shared the reasons for the cancellation, saying, “I specifically…asked for cash gifts. How could we have our wedding that we dreamed of without proper funding? We talked to a few people who even promised us more to make our dream come true.”

 

 

Also read more here

5 ways to handle jealousy in a relationship

 

 

There’s a general idea that a little bit of jealousy in a relationship is a good thing. It just “means your partner cares” or “shows that they don’t want to lose you.”

It should never be considered healthy. Jealousy is almost completely founded in insecurity or doubt, either in yourself, in your relationship or in your partner.

Because insecurities are always going to exist, the best you can do is manage your jealousy and make sure it stays under control, but you should never assume that jealousy is a healthy aspect of your relationship.

Here are some tips on how to deal with these feelings:

1. Try Journaling
Writing out your feelings in a journal is a good way to help move past the jealously you’re experiencing. Journals should not just be about your achievements, but also low moments in life and dealing with the outcome. It also helps you keep tabs on your jealous for future concerns.

2. Is it making you a negative person?
If jealousy is negatively affecting you, that you find yourself hating those around you, you must consider the ways it is negatively affecting you.By coming to terms with how it is making you behave you might be able t figure out future incidences and let it go.

3. Have a sit down with a friend
Talking to a friend about your situation helps alot. Our close friends are there for a reason — to be there for us when we really need it. Use these friendships to your advantage here, and talk out your jealously issues with someone who can provide an outside perspective to what’s happening, according to Psych Central. The outlet reiterated, though, the importance of making sure you’ve also discussed the issues with your partner, too.

4. Talk to your bae
If you’ve been overcome with jealousy lately, it might be time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you’re feeling and why you might be feeling this way.

5. Get professional help
Sometimes, jealous is as a result of our insecurities.

 

Also read more here

4 relationship habits most people think are normal

 

Read about these habits that we mistake as healthy but are actually dangerous patterns we develop in our relationships.

1. Keeping score of who’s doing what

Some spouses find petty ways of upsetting their partner to justify complaining about the others behaviour.

Because it shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. A person will never feel a need to drop “hints” if they feel like they won’t be judged or criticized for it.

sad-black-couple-in-bed
2. Holding the relationship hostage
Blackmailing your partner to stay in a relationship is pretty common behaviour that people don’t think alot about. When one person complains and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship, that is a problem.

Relationships

It’s emotional blackmail that brings about alot of unnecessary drama. Any small challenge in the relationship is used as an opportunity to tell the other person they are not committed. This ‘crisis’ results from negative thoughts and feelings that are not being communicated to each other, and so make it out to be a threat to the relationship.

Married

3. Blaming your partner for your own negative emotions
Let’s say you’re having a bad day most probably from work related stress, and your partner isn’t exactly being sympathetic or supportive at the moment. Yet you want them to pay attention to you.

So you lash out at them for being what you call insensitive.

young-couple-in-love-jealous-friend-horiz-640x431

4. Displaying a loving jealousy
When your spouse or partner gets mad when you talk, touche, call, text, hang out, with others and then takes the anger out on you, and attempt to control their behavior. This often leads to taking extreme action like hacking into your partner’s email account, looking through text messages while they’re in the shower or even following them around town and showing up unannounced when they’re not expecting you.

Also read more here

6 things not to do when your partner is threatening to break up

 

We’ve all been in the heat of the moment when angry words are said or actions are taken that we later regret.

Later, once both have cooled off and are seeing things more clearly, breaking up isn’t so appealing.
This leads to even more confusion and disconnection. When your partner claims that he or she will break up with you and then doesn’t actually end the relationship, you might feel unsettled, angry and wondering what your relationship status actually is.

breakup_7

Here are a few we do NOT recommend:

1. Don’t call your partner’s bluff about breaking up unless you’re ready to really follow through.

2. Don’t call your partner a liar or other names that might pop into your head out of frustration.

3. Don’t ignore it or pretend that the threat wasn’t made.

4. Don’t leave and then go hook up with your ex or someone else to get back at your partner.

5. Don’t complain about how “crazy” your partner is to your friends.

6. Don’t play games too.

Breakup
There are all kinds of reactions that might seem tempting when your partner threatens to break up with you. It can feel manipulative and upsetting to hear the words “I’m going to break up with you” and not be sure whether or not your partner is actually ending the relationship.

Also read more here

 

How toxic relationships affect your health

We all go through good and bad days in our relationships, however a bad relationship can be a detriment to your health.
One study found that being in a negative relationship puts people at a higher risk of developing heart problems (such as a fatal heart attack)

Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you.

We give you five ways you can tell that relationship is toxic and having unhealthy effects on you.

1. Increased risks of coronary heart disease

2. Increased stress levels

3. Sleep problems

4. Anxiety disorder

5. Depression

 

Also read more here

3 signs you can’t fix a toxic relationship

How many time shave you heard someone say that you should fight to keep your relationship?

That anything you are going through can be fixed?

Toxic relationships cause feelings of low self-worth, helplessness, fear, anxiety, depression, insecurity, paranoia, and even narcissism.

conflict
Fighting to keep this relationship won’t change anything because one or both people have emotionally moved on. Perhaps they were never really there in the first place, or not in the way you needed them to be anyway.

Even worse, if your relationship is toxic, you will be more and more damaged by staying in it.

Fighting to hold on to something that is not fighting to hold on to you will ruin you. Sometimes the only thing left to do is to let go with grace and love and move on.

Here’s how tell you can’t fix it:

  • moodiness, anger, unhappiness become the norm
  • you avoid each other more and more
  • work and relationships outside the toxic relationship start to suffer

Also read more here

4 Signs your man doesn’t trust you

They say a healthy relationship is one where both parties fully trust each other without reservation.

If your guy doesn’t trust you, is it because of his own insecurities? This was the discussion on Classic 105 morning conversation with Maina and Kingangi.

Mwalimu was of the opinion that women do things to raise the red flag.

He added, ‘When you see a man keep quiet he is observing, you can’t just get up and go.’

What are the reasons for lack of trust? Have you behaved in a way or done something specifically that would make your partner not have trust in you? What kind of relationship is it and what are your goals for the relationship?

Here are four signs your partner doesn’t trust you

1. They check your phone multiple times
Do they consistently steal your phone away from you to check what you’ve been up to? Does it happen anytime you leave their sight most of all?

This can be one of the most frustrating expressions of mistrust because it’s an invasion of your privacy.

couples-music-min

2. They ask a lot of probing questions
Does your partner ask you probing-type questions constantly? Questions such as:

Why did you take so long?
Why are you going there?
How long are you going to be there?
Who are you with?
If it seems that every moment of every day– or very frequently, at least– they demand to know where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re with, they have big trust issues.

black_couple(1)

3. They have this need to know where you are at all times and perhaps will accompany you
If you feel like you’re being kept under close surveillance, there are probably some serious trust issues about.

One of the more common behaviors is calling the people or places you said you’d be at to confirm that you’re there or to check social for the same reasons, always trying to keep tabs on your position and pouncing anytime you can’t be located.

couple pics
couple pics

4. They attempt to control your behavior
One much more serious sign that your partner doesn’t trust you is by using controlling behavior in a broader sense.

As opposed to simply checking up on your location or questioning you frequently, the person might seek to control where you go and who you spend time with, dictating how you live your day-to-day life in an effort to make themselves feel better about their insecurity.

Dear Classic 105 fam, what other signs are there to suggest your partner doesn’t trust you? Drop your comments below, we will share them.

 

Also read more here

My husband eats in a hotel to avoid buying food at home

 

While many husbands look forward to a family dinner, that is not the case with one Kenyan man who avoids his wife and children at all costs, after work.

His wife says this is a dilemma she is facing, and is contemplating deserting her marriage.

Dear Wives: How to cope with an unemployed husband

Her husband according to her account, has a very selfish reason for not joining his family for dinner.

Couple
Young couple eating food and smiling — Image by © Kevin RL Hanson/DK Stock/Corbis

The sad wife shared her secret family shame saying

my hubby doesn’t buy food, he doesn’t pay fees then the other day he told he was was robbed business money that I should loan him cash, how can i give him money? He eats in a hotel so he doesn’t have to buy food at home, then he expects me to support his business expenses, these men are something else. I’m  just 25 years and I’ve given up on men

Man explains why Kalenjin men don’t hug or live with wives

men-enjoying-beer-while-grilling-food-outside-party-mst

She added

I have been with him for four years we started dating in college, then I got pregnant, ikabidi we get married. I’m still with him, I’m planning my exit, we live at his parents plot and the worst thing  is he is educated and I am planning to leave him.

 

 

Also read more here

Why don’t men like showing off their wives asks Maina Kageni

Was it a good hug or wasn’t it? That’s the discussion on social media about Eliud Kipchoge’s hug with his wife moments after crossing the finishing line in the INEOS challenge 159 in Vienna this past weekend.

Classic’s Maina and Kingangi debated this topic, with Mwalimu defending Kipchoges ‘terrible hug’.

He said, ‘It was a very good hug, what did you want him to do? (mlikuwa mnataka afanye nini)’

hug

 

Maina brushed his comment insisting that a man must claim his wife in public and show just how proud he is of her.

it was like she was in his way. If that is your definition of a hug as a Kenyan man, you are in trouble. It just brought home the way Kenyan men don’t like bragging about their wives, this was the biggest moment of his career, he should have hugged her, lifted her up, and kissed her’

Maina posed the question to listeners to respond: Why don’t Kenyan men show off their wives?

To which most caller (men) responded defending their actions.
@Jmkmutuma..
The wives are ugly.
@AlphasArapLagat..
Being proud of my wife isn’t public show off & stunts but by doing everything for her as a man. The most important thing is love. Everything is vanity without love. How are yu sure that those who come to public are happy? #MainaAndKingangi

The marathoner hugging his wife
The marathoner hugging his wife

@KipkiruiRop1..
Because they are not trophies! They are our wives… As they say vitu kwa ground ni different ! Show off lets leave the to soaps and telenovas
sic105Kenya…This problem is not with Kenyan men only. If you take your wife to company parties, you’ll make her less productive. If you have a beautiful woman and you show her off to your friends, they will steal her!”
#MainaAndKingangi

The marathoner smiling as he crosses the line
The marathoner smiling as he crosses the line

@MutumaInc..
do you go around showing off the source of your stress? Men celebrate and take advantage of every moment or excuse they can to be away from their wives
@FelixxOtienoo..

Maina imagine running the fast speed for 42km then hug your wife and carry her up and yet she is heavier than you. Please consider us slim ones

Also read more here

 

Ali Kiba’s wife leaks screenshot of string of insults since messy separation from hubby

 

 

The pressure of a public divorce can get to anyone.

Ali Kiba’s wife Amina has been sharing alot about coping, since news broke that he had brought her back to Kenya, following domestic squabbles.

Amina has been haring quotes much to the annoyance of some of her fans.

Ali Kiba speaks out on rocky marriage to Kenyan wife

One referred to her as a ‘kiherehere’ a term used in Kenya alot to refer to a busy body.

Ali Kiba with his wife
Ali Kiba with his wife

Amina shared a screenshot of the accusation, slamming the troll.

Kwanini wanadamu tunakuwa hivi??

 

Screenshot from 2019-10-07 13:00:39

Fans are sympathizing, urging her to ignore haters who don’t see she is hurting owing to her troubled marriage.

Ali Kiba has opened up about their marriage saying

“It is true that my wife and I have issues, which is normal to any couple. I returned her to her parent’s home myself. I wanted her to also go back to work, I then travelled to Europe,” he said.

therealmahsein
No everybody can love you!you need haters to stay strong and focus…….so stay strong and focus my [email protected]

I have not divorced her-Ali Kiba clarifies on issues with his Kenyan wife

minzaalphonc
Amina ongeza sauti wakeweza roho inaumma

Ali Kiba with his wife and son
Ali Kiba with his wife and son

Another fan left simple advise for the troll
babywhite44
Achana nae
aminaboss42993
Achana nao hao wajinga wasikuumize kichwa.post unachotaka wajina

Other major divorces or breakups we have seen include Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, British singer Adelle, Khloe Kardashian among others.

Also read more here

 

Risper Faith looks back at intimate wedding ceremony

 

Risper Faith Njunge remembered the day she exchanged vows with husband and the people who shared that moment with them.

She wrote

I love you so much words cant explain how you make me feel

TV girl and entrepreneur Risper Faith married the hunk in a lavish wedding held in Nairobi a year ago.

Risper Faith wants to hire a nanny for Sh80,000

Whenever she looks back at her relationship, Risper has also frequently thanked their family and friends for being their guide as they started their journey as a married couple.

risperanfbrayo

Risper met Brian after he DM’d her and told her he will travel back to Kenya to meet her.

She disclosed in an interview that she thought it was all jokes and only got to understand the magnitude when he jetted in, and they met.

Their whirlwind romance kicked off leading to an engagement and later lavish nuptials.

Also read more here

A list of what I expect as a husband and what I expect my wife to do

Nothing is as frustrating to a spouse when expectations are unclear, unhealthy, unspoken or unmet.
What’s worse is when these expectations are not communicated to the spouse because of the belief that ‘we are in sync’, and he/she knows what I like.
Experts have often drawn the line at what is acceptable and what isn’t but not so according to one man who wrote his list of demands.
This isn’t the case as a man on social media laid down the law to his wife:
1. I expect my tea ready on the table when I get in from work and no excuses if it is not.
2. My wife has to do everything for our children and I am not to be disturbed if I want to watch tv or whatever I want to do.
3. I expect the dishes to be washed and the house to be tidy and clean at all times
4. I expect my clothes washed, ironed and ready for me to wear.
5. I expect to be waited on and looked after like a king and all my needs fulfilled. If they are not then their will be consquences.
Dear Classic 105 fam, is this a partner making another live in fear of them and does the other think in nay way they are trapped in a controlling relationship? Drop us your thoughts.

‘My husband washes me, plus my soiled knickers’ wife reveals

When you walk down the aisle, you take a vow to stick together through thick and thin.

It’s something we say but don’t really ponder for long because our wedding day is supposed to be happy, right?  So, what does it really look like to live out this vow?

That is exactly what one Kenyan man is doing, to the outrage of many.

He told Maina Kageni on Monday that he even washes her inner wear, especially when she wakes up late in a rush to scrub her panties. He says when he finds them when he get home before her, he will wash them for her, and put them outside to air. because she forgot to wash her panties, he helps her washing it. She cleans my boxers so why not?

pantylines.KOKOtv.000

In another scenario, a female caller shocked listeners on Wednesday with her tale of what her husband does for her that is so romantic.

She narrated

I have a man. He washes my panties, I don’t tell him to do it, he just wakes up washes his and mine, and when I’m cleaning the house he also helps. I hate ironing clothes, so he does so and even for our daughters, he doesn’t complain.

Cleaning floor using rag
Cleaning floor using rag

Even when I’m sitting down at home, he cleans, this is a man I really appreciate I don’t have to tell him to do stuff. He also washes my panties, you know at times ladies soil their panties but he washes them. It’s not a matter of being controlled, there are men out there who are good, even when I’m sick he washes me, he takes a basin puts hot water, scrubs me and will serve me any food in bed.

Also read more here

 

 

Kenyan men argue why they don’t help with housework

A man’s account of how he helps his wife with housework, even going to the extent of washing her inner wear hit a raw nerve.

The conversation went down on Classic 105, where he revealed that

She cleans my boxers, so why not?

Some men gave carefully crafted arguments why they don’t help with household chores.

A major French study found that women are more likely to cheat on men who don’t put in their fair share around the home.

According to The Telegraph, “a poll of 10,000 female subscribers to Gleedon — a top site for married and unfaithful people — suggests that the best way to a woman’s heart is by doing the dishes.

If you are a man reading this, will you now help in chores?

Here are some silly reasons that Classic fans responded with
@Pinchezwagukaa1..
a man is meant to bring food on the table hata kitambo wanawake walikuwa wanabaki nyumbani wanaume wanaenda msituni ndyo maana unaskianga wakisema nyumba ya nyina wa so nd so lakini si ya http://mwanaume.so let them do the haoz chores

black-man-doing-laundry
@CalvinceF..
Women are like kids,watazoea na siku moja utashtukia akikuambia mbele ya wageni eti hukuonsha vyombo..Uliza Wakanai
@Geraldmurunga..
How on Earth.. Maina ndio maana hajaoa.. and that mama who called saying he washes my back scrubs it washes the house and cleans my panties. Comes from hell
@DeeMwaniki1..
There’s absolutely nothing wrong & it’s very unfair that men tend to carry their wife’s as slave’s in their house as they watch TV or sleep, which is setting a bad precedence by parenting especially for boy child, AKO KASAITAN ka CHINDWE KAPSA

clothes_line
Siele Robert
@Siele65546899..
even if push comes to shove and we actually have to fake romance and Love,washing her panties won’t even be the last thing I’ll have to do,I won’t and will never do that,,,,,,
@AlphasArapLagat..
Women responsibilities are out of bounce to men. If you start doing them she’ll get used to it and you’ll be them even if she’s at home. Women should know that they’re married and do their duties. Hey men don’t be henpecked. #MainaAndKingangi
@Francis18403036..
Onyesha mwanamke unaweza pika tu….the day atakuambia upike ukatae ndio utajua !!They are ungrateful creatures
@Evans___j..
That is adopting umama of highest order

@SifumaKevin2..
that is only done with men who are idle,,yani wako na umama ndani yao ,,for me l can’t

Also read more here

‘Marry someone you trust’ Kenyan man brags about leaving estate to wife

 

The drama surrounding the will left behind by Dutch billionaire Tob Cohen has left tongues wagging.

Classic 105’s Maina and Kingangi debated the matter, asking why Kenyans don’t like to prepare will int he eventuality of their  death.

Maina asked 3 questions:

1. Have you written a will?

2.  If anything happens today, does your wife or man deserve anything

3. Does your partner know where all your wealthy is?

This male caller was not too shy to brag that his wife is the sole heir to his estate and she knows it.

He said

You have three major events in life; birth, marriage and death. There is no excuse for not writing a will. How can you marry someone you don’t trust? That is stupidity,  no one forced you to marry her. My wife is the custodian of everything  I’ve got. I have children with her, if I die everything goes to her. We have  a joint account or in her name, and the gentlemanly thing to do is die before her, kwani hizo vitu ni za nini? Boss make a mistake and die and you will see how uncles will go for your things, I can’t come back to protect my wife and children from them.

This news obviously excited Maina who congratulated him in a special shout out.

Also read more here