‘She left me with a huge scar after I dumped her’ City man confesses

Have you ever found yourself entangled in a tricky and relatively violent situation with your ex lover? If so how did you deal with it?

In what is becoming a worrying trend, some lovers don’t take no for an answer while some don’t really know how to deal with rejection.

According to one Kenyan man going by the name, Ochi, he was left with a scarred face, a mark he’ll leave with forever after dumping his violent ex.

Ochi narrates how he ended his relationship after he came to learn of some stuff her ex had been hiding since the two started dating, but little did he know things would get worse.

His ex-girlfriend traced him to a worship gathering and pulled him by his tie while holding a huge stone on the other hand, which she used to hit his head.

To make matters worse, Ochi’s ex -girlfriend poured cold water on him and his mattresses, embarrassing him in front of his neighbors.

Read his confession below.

Nilikuwa kwa uhusiano kwa mwaka mmoja lakini kuna vitu alinificha na nikagundua baadaye na nikamwambie hatuwezi endelea na uhusiano, lakini alikataa.

Sasa kuna siku nilikuwa kwa crusade karibu na mtaani na unajua jinsi crusade ina watu wengi na pia ni mahali najulikana.

Alikuja na akanishika tai huku mkono mwingine akiwa amebeba mawe ambayo alinigonga nayo usoni kwani hakutaka kuwachwa.

Niliona aibu lakini sikufanya lolote kwani siamini mambo ya kupiga mwanamke na nilipomwambia anirudishie funguo zangu alikataa.

Siku ifuatayo nilipotoka kazini nilipata amefungua mlango na akanimwagia maji hadi kwa mattress saitan! It is really painful.

Kuna watu ambao hawajui kukubali kitu ambacho hakiwezekani na aliniletea aibu kubwa sana kwa ploti, na ile alama bado ninayo kichwani kwani hadi nilishonwa.

SHOCKING: Nairobi Wives Are The Worst Husband Batterers – Survey

A new study has put to doubt the common belief that women in Central Kenya (Nyeri being notorious) are the most violent towards their men. In fact, that region does not even feature among the top three in the latest Kenya Demographic and Health Survey conducted by the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics KNBS.

The research found that men in Nairobi are the most abused by their partners followed by Western, Nyanza and Eastern regions in that order. Men in these regions admitted to having experienced some form of physical, sexual or emotional abuse from their wives. Those in Northern Kenya and the Coast recorded the least abuse.

Meanwhile, the same study found that at least 2 in every 5 women in Kenya believe it’s right for a man to beat up his wife if she neglects their children. The women believe it’s also justified for a wife to be beaten if she denies her husband sex, goes out without telling him, argues with him or burns food. Those in the Rift Valley were the most accepting of wife beating followed by women in North Eastern and Western regions while most Nairobi women disagreed.

On matters sex, Kenyan men have as many as 7 sexual partners in their lifetime while women have an average of 2. Despite the multiple sexual partners, close to half the people interviewed revealed that they hadn’t used protection during intercourse.

Further, 1 in every 5 teenage girls in Kenya is either pregnant, or has given birth. A similar percentage of teenagers admitted that they’d had sex before the age of 15 with an equal number confessing to having their first sexual encounter before turning 18.

 

Reasons Why Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

I am pretty sure you know a friend or someone in an abusive relationship and they just won’t leave because they love this person for one reason or another.

Many a times family, friends and even colleagues intervene especially when such relationships are violent but again in most situations many women choose to go back.

You may not be able to understand it but as explained by Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker, a psychologist and marriage/family counselor, these are the reasons why women choose to stay in abusive relationships.

Because being someone’s everything is intoxicating stuff – at least at first. When you met, he only had eyes for you. He called to say good morning, “I love you”, and he wanted to be the last voice you heard before you went to sleep. In exchange, he gave you attention as no one ever had before, wined and dined you and made you feel like a princess. Sounds like any romantic beginning, doesn’t it?

If your guy is so insecure that he needs control, his attention gradually becomes claustrophobic. Over time, his demands for all your attention all the time hemmes you in. You find yourself frantically explaining your every move that doesn’t involve him. What started out as wonderful attention becomes not so wonderful control.

Charming – You didn’t fall in love with your boyfriend for no good reason. He can be charming, romantic, sweet etc. He seems to feel genuinely terrible after the two of you have had a big fight, and he brings apologies and flowers. He says all the right things to make you want to give him another chance. Things are wonderful for a while, then it starts all over again. You come home a little late and his eyes look stormy. You make a phone call and he has to know who you’re talking to. Pretty soon, you’re feeling hemmed in again and you know that there’s going to be another blow-out.

Because you don’t feel you deserve any better – Maybe growing up you were told that you were a no good, ugly, clumsy, or incompetent person. Maybe you’ve had a series of disastrous relationships or no relationships at all. Your self-esteem is in the cellar. You’ve become convinced you should be grateful for any sign of caring your boyfriend provides – even if it is painful.

Because you don’t know any better – All the women you grew up with were in abusive, difficult relationships. Lacking role models for positive, loving relationships, you think good relationships only happen in the movies. Although you can agree in theory that women deserve to be treated with consideration and respect by the men who love them, you’ve never seen such a relationship up close and personal.

Manipulation – There are men who aren’t a bit subtle about their need for control. Try to leave and they threaten to hurt you or your kids or other people you care about. When he goes into a rage, there’s no telling what he might do. So you do everything you can to prevent it including staying. The manipulators are equally effective in trapping their women. They say they will commit suicide if you leave – and it will be all your fault. They are masters at making you feel guilty even when you don’t have a clue what you are guilty of. Fights inevitably shift to all the things you’ve done wrong. You end up staying to make amends and make it right or because you can’t bear the idea of living with the guilt if he hurts himself.

You truly believe you can change him – Because the relationship started out so wonderfully and because he can be so terrific after a fight, you hold onto the idea that you can bring out the best in him. All you have to do is find the right words and behave in the right way, and you’ll have the man of your dreams. Love conquers all, right? Wrong. No one can make another person be anything. He has to want it and be willing to work on it. He has to want to change because it will make him a better person, not because he made an insincere promise in order to make up after a fight. Even though you know all this, you convince yourself that you’re an exception. You’re going to find a way.

Fear of being alone – You’ve been alone and it’s lonely. You want someone to talk to in the evening, to cuddle up to at night, at least once in a while. Fighting with him is more appealing than coming home to an empty house. If he does help pay the bills and do a few chores (and especially if he pays most of the bills and can be counted on to do some of the heavy work), it’s even harder to think about going it alone.

Because you love him – The most common answer I get when I ask women why they stay in bad relationships is “because I love him.” Love isn’t always rational, it’s true. There’s no accounting for chemistry. But the fact is that love, especially one-sided love, isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. It’s like one hand clapping.