‘Doctor thought I was self aborting,’ Nairobi woman tells of contraceptives horror

University student Rachael, 22, dreads the thought of periods because of the pain and discomfort she has to endure month in month out.

So bad is it, doctors once mistook her cramps for abortion.

“On one occasion, I was in unbearable pain.

When my parents took me to hospital, the doctors insisted on running a test to see if maybe I was aborting or in labour,” the soft-spoken girl tells the Star.

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She adds

I once got a panic attack at home because of my period, and I had to be rushed to hospital.

Another time, I was in school and my period started when we were lined up for parade.

Racheal adds that at some point she got panic attacks

It got really painful and I had to be taken to class by a first aider.

When the pain got worse, I got a panic attack and had to be rushed to Nairobi Women’s Hospital, before my parents came for me.

Foods and beverages to avoid when pregnant

The University of Nairobi student says she once started throwing up and having diarrhoea as she came from class at a local college.

I was going home from Zetech and my periods started. I alighted the matatu I was in and went to a nearby hotel because I was feeling ill. 

The hotel manager took me to a chemist and called my mother and auntie to come pick me up.

She has resorted to walking around with Ponstan drugs when she knows her periods are about to start.

Contraception can sometimes delay your flow. It can cause an abnormal flow or one may start spotting over a long period of time

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‘My boyfriend wants me to abort for the 8th time’ Cries city woman

A city woman has left many in shock after admitting to carrying out 7 abortions in the past, adding she is ready to carry the 8th one as she is pregnant.

Taking to social media the woman narrates step by step on how she loves having unprotected s3x, despite knowing that one can easily get pregnant.

The saddest things is that she is not remorseful.

“I am pregnant again and this will be the 8th I am taking in and he is saying abort it, it is not as if I can’t close my legs but he is more sweeter skin to skin.

Each time he uses protection I don’t feel him and I don’t enjoy intimacy, and whenever he uses withdrawal method I feel he does not love me again.

sad-pregnant

‘I slept with my pastor’s wife yet he was targeting mine’ Brags city man (Audio)

I just love to see him c#m, I love the excitement in his face I also love how he holds me and begs me not to cheat on him.

I love the reaction  the feel of him in my body  but I keep getting pregnant. “

mum pregnant

‘I slept with my pastor and he now wants me to leave my man’ Cries woman

The damsel goes on to add that despite her boyfriend advising her to get on family planning she is bent on letting him enjoy her without protection.

“I am 21 years and I am not even ready for marriage.

I will have to abort for the 8th time he has been giving me money but he is saying I should do family planning how can I be doing family planing at my age when I don’t even have a family .

Is there any short cut because I love my man so much I want him to enjoy my body with no restrictions of protection I want to keep the bond and fire burning till we get married .”

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I have carried out 5 abortions, unknowingly killing my twins in the process

The topic of abortion is a sensitive one but not until you hear the story of one Nairobi woman who has carried out not one, not two but five abortions.

Martha Anne has seen it all, but the sad thing about all this is that her last termination was  of a set of twins.

Speaking about her harrowing experience on a local TV station she says;

“I grew up in a very protective family so here I was at 17 after finishing my O Levels someone asked my dad for my hand in marriage and just like that my dad booked me a ticket to India to go study.

There was money, booze and freedom. It was not before long that I started having irregular menses so I went to visit a doctor.

To my shock the doctor told me that my body was self aborting, to say I was shocked would be an understatement given that I have always wanted kids.”

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mum pregnant

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She adds

“I now went deep into partying six months later I was pregnant for the same guy.When I told him he panicked and  convinced me to terminate it.

 I went to the same doctor and carried out the abortion.”

The wise men said ‘Once bitten twice shy’ but that was not the case for Martha Anne given that months later she was pregnant.

She says

“We went on studying but 6 months later I was pregnant for the same guy. I started developing stomach pains.

When I went to the doctor he told me that the pregnancy was not so good thus carrying it to term would put me at a risk, so it was terminated.

After the third abortion I got into depression, more s#x , more booze, the body does not forget some things, most of my pregnancies were always at 4 months.

depressed

2 years later I got pregnant with the same guy. I had purposed to keep this baby until a friend of mine busted my bubble after he went and told the guy.

He came back and convinced me to terminate it, to date I still hate the smell of Hospitals.”

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Martha goes on to narrate that she got pregnant for a fifth time, went on to terminate it without knowing she had carried twins.

“I met a guy who made me fall for him and within no time I was pregnant again. He started noticing and he panicked because he was there on sponsorship.

So the naive me felt pity for him and decided to terminate it. I went to a doctor and the doctor said Ok. In India abortion is legal until three months they do not have an issue.

'Beth' felt she had no choice but to risk a back-alley abortion in Nairobi. Photo / COURTESY

However after three months you must have a doctor’s letter. After they started the process, I started experiencing breathing problems and they stopped and took me for an Ultra sound.

They found out I was expecting twins. He even asked why I wanted to get rd of such beautiful kids. I told him that I just wanted them out.”

She adds

“I was in the maternity for three days with excruciating pain, sorrow, pain beyond measure nothing was happening.

People were here to give birth yet I was here to get rid of mine.

newborn-black-baby-boy

At some point I wished I could keep the babies but it was already too late since I had already been induced. In the morning I just prayed to God and told him how sorry I was.

I got some strength and went to where the babies had been put. Seeing them hugging each other broke me. I cried so hard.

I have never cried so hard in my life. They looked exactly like their dad.”

 

 

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‘Is he possessed?City woman cries after her man reacted this way just because she asked him to use protection during intimacy

Men are cunning when it comes to bedroom matters, with a majority giving countless reasons why they shouldn’t wear protection.

Despite the fact that condoms protect against pregnancy and s3xually transmitted diseases, some men will go to all lengths to make sure they do not put them on.

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Young couple in bed, man sitting up with arms crossed, portrait
Young couple in bed, man sitting up with arms crossed, portrait

One city woman has been caught in a dilemma given that her man has crazy tactics when he is denied conjugal rights for not wearing protection.

She wrote
“Each time I tell my boyfriend to use withdrawal method, he will start crying and begging that he wants a bond with me. If I refuse he will try to hurt himself. I told him to be doing withdrawal method but he said withdrawal method use to give him headache that will make blood to full his head. So I allowed him to be pouring inside of me until I got pregnant 3 times and he did not give me money for abortion.”

Heartbreaking stories of Pipeline residents where slayqueens abort and feed babies to dogs

woman crying

She further adds

“I used my money to terminate it,he then came back to beg me and threatened to kill him self. So last week we were getting intimate and I told him to wear protection and he refused, so when he was about to c#m I pushed him out and he started crying. He ran to my kitchen I took a knife to kill himself, so I had to beg him, I had to lamba lolo to bring him up again and allowed him c#m inside me. I am tired, how do I make him use protection? Is he possessed or is he just selfish?”

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Heartbreaking stories of Pipeline residents where slayqueens abort and feed babies to dogs

Cases of bodies of babies and fetuses being dumped in estate garbage sites have been on the rise in Nairobi’s Pipeline estate,leaving many in shock.

Just recently, residents woke up to a disturbing spectacle; of hounds feasting on dead foetus. The Nairobian has established that the shocking incident was not an isolated case.

 Residents are now blaming slay queens who throng various pubs in the estate,In yet another incident, a body of a two-months-old baby was found lying in one of the estate’s dumpsites, eliciting angry reaction from residents.
EVA LONGORIA BABY SANTI

Peter Ngumbi a resident of Pipeline estate, says the vice has become a common trend in the area.

He cited a similar case hardly one week ago when another foetus was found dumped by the roadside.He blamed the ungodly acts on rising cases of prostitution in the area.

Adding that

“It’s a common trend here. It has become part of us residents. every weekend you either find dogs running in the estate with human heads or people gathered at a dumpsite looking at a body.

These are acts of coldblooded, heartless ‘slay queens’ who see babies as a hindrance to ‘their job.

It is callous for women to kill these angels and feed them to dogs like this,” he said, adding that he had always seen such things on TV and news.

baby-names

Sarah Mutindi condemned the incident and urged young women to go to church and stop killing babies.

“We must turn to God and pray for some of these vices to stop,” she said.

Meshack Odhiambo, another resident, said the county government is to blame for licencing pubs, wines and spirit shops as well as brothels which has seen the rate of prostitution hit a crescendo.

“Almost each and every flat in Pipeline estate has a wines and spirit shop and private brothels-yet not even a single public school in Pipeline,”

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Residents now wants the county government to move fast to curb prostitution in the crowded estate.

A police officer who spoke to The Nairobian said they have intensified patrols to arrest prostitutes roaming the estate in bid to curb the trend.

“As police, we are aware of these cases and soon you will soon feel our presence in the estate,” said local police boss.

Police urged young women not to kill the children but instead surrender them to local hospitals or childrens’ offices where they can be taken care of.

The officer said they receive upto 10 cases of babies dumped in garbage spots and by the roadside.

He said: “In Pipeline, you don’t focus your gaze at these drainage lines by the roadsides in the mornings; you will always tumble on a body.”

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‘He threatened to leave me if I kept the baby,’ Married women confess the reasons they seek abortion

Health experts have regularly warned that married women are now more than ever seeking abortion services, especially after engaging in sexual tirades with lovers during weekends.

Even on the morning show with Maina Kageni and Mwalimu Kingang’i, female callers confess they tend to lie to spouses that there is a girls get away just to find an excuse to be with their ‘sausage funga’ or ‘Ben 10’.

The health experts also say that while they were used to seeing college girls come to clinics to terminate their pregnancy, it is now dominated by married women.

An article published in the Nairobian suggests also the same theory.

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The article quotes the accounts of several women who have sought the services of back-door clinics. For instance Carol Mwangi from Kiambu, a teacher by profession shortly after discovering that her blood sister was having an affair with her husband.

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She is quoted in the same article as saying “Whenever my husband went out of town for conferences,my sister would also go for interviews.

“When she confronted her husband, their argument snowballed into a physical abuse with the husband threatening to involve Carols parents if she continued with the allegations.”

To avoid bringing shame to the family Carol dropped the matter but two months later she got the shock of her life after discovering that she was pregnant. What did she do? You guessed it..abortion.

mum pregnant

‘My brother-in-law raped me twice and got me pregnant I almost died carrying out an abortion’ (Audio)

 But what happens in a situation where the woman is being pressured by her spouse to abort? Sad isn’t it? The Nairobian article further interviews Patricia Oduk who disclosed that the idea of a termination came from her husband, a matter that threatened their marriage.

Patricia is quoted as saying

“My husband did not share the same dream as I to have a family and settle down.The news of my pregnancy did not appeal to him and even threatened to leave me if I  kept the baby. He did not share my dreams and he did not want to be tied down by a baby even though he was financially stable.

Eventually I gave in to his demands, we met a doctor in town and in just 30 minutes my pregnancy was gone. I do not think that the marriage will ever be the same again. I no longer view him as the same man I idolized.”

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Patricia has not yet been able to conceive due to complications that arose after the termination.

“The walls of my womb are too thin and I have already suffered two miscarriages.We are seeking professional help but my husband is fully to blame for this.”

For Nancy Kaloki a stay at home mum constant quarrels due to childlessness made her seek solace on social media.

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“My husband used to allege that multiple abortions during my youth were the reason behind my childlessness. I found comfort on facebook and before long  I started getting a lot of male attention. I started going for dates with them and before long I was going to their houses for ‘chats’.”

Before long Nancy realized she was expectant

“I couldn’t believe it. I had desperately yearned for a baby for years. But getting what my heart desired turned out to be a huge mistake I opted to abort.”

Even though Nancy’s husband never found out she is still paying for her mistake as she has never been able to conceive yet her biological clock is ticking ,at age 35, she is running out of time.

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‘My brother-in-law raped me twice and got me pregnant I almost died carrying out an abortion’ (Audio)

Latest statistics reveal that 7 women die from botched abortions everyday in Kenya.

The issue remains very emotive, with the 1970 Penal Code stated that any person who intended to procure the miscarriage of a woman would be guilty of a felony, liable to imprisonment for 14 years.

It was not until the 2010 Constitution when this was changed with Article 26 (4) stating:

“Abortion is not permitted unless in the opinion of a trained health care professional, if there is need for emergency treatment or the life or health of the mother in in danger, or if permitted by any other written law.”

“My father is a church leader in Eastlands and he is against abortion, I am the last born at only 15 years I got pregnant after getting involved with a certain matatu tout.

Once he realized that I was heavy with child he vanished. A class mate advised me to seek the help of a ‘doctor’ to have the pregnancy taken care of.

Out of fear I decided to tell my parents. My fathers was so furious saying that I had brought shame to the family, so he told my mum that she should ensure I am not pregnant by the next week.”

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Well Mike Mondo, who was  sitting in for Maina Kageni posed the question on why women are not given a chance whether to keep a pregnancy or terminate it.

Here is what the fans had to say

“I was only 19 when I got pregnant and my parents asked me to terminate the pregnancy so that I would not tarnish their name.

To be frank I was scared of what their reaction would be. I actually thought they would ask me to keep the baby but I was shocked after they suggested abortion.”

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Another says

“My brother-in-law raped me after high school and being the naive girl I was I could not bear the fact of carrying the pregnancy so I terminated it.

I almost lost it, 5 years later the same brother-in-law raped me again, but I decided not to carry out an abortion after the first incident.

It breaks my heart because I have hidden this for the last 5 years and I cannot tell anyone and it is taking a toll on me.

It is a burden to me and my son because I cannot tell him who his father is. I am lucky because I survived and I can talk about it now but so many have died and it’s sad.”

Listen to the audio below

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‘She used a hanger to terminate my pregnancy’Women tell their heartbreaking abortion stories

Abortions are on the increase a study showed that for every four women, 1 woman has had an abortion. 7 women and girls are dying daily.

The study goes further to state that 330 women are hospitalized everyday and half of these are teenagers or younger and they are hospitalized due to unsafe abortion.

A victim of abortion narrated how she was raped leading to a pregnancy which obviously was unwanted,she opted to carry out an abortion but things went from bad to worse.

“My friend had invited me to his house. I had known him for a very long time, and it was normal for me to visit him. But when I went there, him and another friend started to touch me. I tried to fight them off, but they tied my legs. The sad thing is, the whole time they were gang raping me, I was screaming and the women were sitting outside. They could hear me. But after they said it was my fault because I went to the house.

About a month later, I started feeling sick and I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want to keep the child, as I didn’t know who the father was. So I confided in a friend and we found someone to buy pills from. She gave me three pills. Two I swallowed, and one I inserted in my vagina.

The pills did not work, so I went to another woman who inserted something inside me. I think It was a hanger. I remember the pain was excruciating! I was bleeding so so much. Eventually the pain got so bad I had to go to hospital. They told me I was lucky to be alive.”

‘I have had 5 abortions, the last left me lying on the road with excruciating pain’ City woman confesses (AUDIO)

mum pregnant

During an earlier morning show on Classic 105 women called and narrated their heartbreaking abortion stories and they are heartbreaking.

A woman narrated how she lost her cousin;

“My cousin was doing well for herself given the fact that she was running her own business, she sought the services of a doctor to procure an abortion, the doctor in question injected her with a syringe and told her to go home and wait while the medication did all the work (termination).

She bled very badly we traced her phone the last call she had made to her friend was on Wanyee road in Kawangware, we looked for her in every hospital and every mortuary. We eventually found her body in a plastic bag, she was severely amputated.”

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pregnant-woman-doctor_custom-28b3fc34af75ee9cfc595cb81fa7e87cedff5195-s900-c85

She adds

“Her body has no legs and her hands were missing so that we would not check her finger prints because the quack doctor did not want us to identify him, it was a terrible incident and even though we already buried her we have never really known the truth.”

Another goes to narrate how she almost lost her life after a back street abortion left her lying in excruciating pain on the road.

“I had an unsafe abortion and I survived, a friend of mine also had the same but she died, she mixed a concoction of herbal medicines with some pills the doctor gave her and they backfired on her. I had warned her against taking the pills but she argued that since she had gone to the hospital with her mum, things would automatically be ok, sadly she died,

Abortions are good but they are also bad,personally I have procured 5 abortions  , I did all the five in the same clinic with the same doctor with just 2000 you are sorted. During my last abortion I bled a lot, I had to sleep on the road and people actually thought that I was a mad woman.”

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The danger of unsafe abortions in Kenya

It’s very tempting to hide our heads in the sand but that would be absolutely unwise. Abortions are happening and Kenyans need to face the reality. Something needs to be done about it urgently and so that lives can be saved.

A report by the Kenya National Commission on Human Rights (KNCHR) found unsafe abortions rampant among adolescents and youth, especially in universities and technical colleges. One Nairobi University student says, “Foetuses are collected from dustbins in universities. Most girls do not seek safe abortion services, including post-abortion care, as they fear being known to have aborted.”

In another report published by safeabortionswomensright.org, it was found that not only are women dying from complications but health professionals are also being affected.

In one case, a nurse received a client that came seeking medical help after a botched abortion and who died soon after. While he insists that the woman had undergone the abortion elsewhere, he was arrested and sentenced to death. He is waiting for an appeal.

In another case, in 2011, a 40-year old woman was held in Murang’a police station for allegedly having an abortion by swallowing chemicals. Instead of getting medical help, she was locked in the cell where she died after developing complications.

In an even more alarming incident, a 21-year-old woman was arrested for attempting to have an abortion. She was marched to the nearby chief’s camp with a crowd assaulting her and calling her names, all while carrying a basin full of blood and the fetus.

Whereas fear of being stigmatised for having an abortion leads to having it done illegally, because there is no after care and because the consequences of doing it are so high, women are less likely to seek medical help causing more deaths. Not only is there a significant loss of life, but there is an additional strain on the already burdened health system.

According to a report by the Ministry of Health and the African Population and Health Research Center, Kenya has spent Sh533 million treating complications of unsafe abortions in public health facilities. It is important to remember that there are many more unreported cases.

Studies demonstrate that it is far more affordable to prevent unwanted pregnancies than it is to treat the complexities that emerge from unsafe abortions. Specialists recommend tending to the drivers of unsafe abortions by upgrading the access to contraceptives, comprehensive sexuality education and honest discussions with adolescents about the best way to avoid unwanted pregnancies.

We should be operating on a “children by choice, not chance” ideology.

Kenyan statistics

In 2014 the Kenya Demographic and Health Survey (KDHS) found that 36 per cent of births in the preceding five years were reported as unintended or mistimed and this figure rises to 47 per cent among adolescents.

The study also found unsafe abortions are estimated to account for 35 per cent of maternal deaths – a figure significantly higher than the global average of 13 per cent. This equates to an average of seven women daily or 2,600 deaths annually.

Abortion is an emotive and extremely divisive issue all over the world, and it is no different in Kenya. Previously, the 1970 Penal Code stated that any person who intended to procure the miscarriage of a woman would be guilty of a felony, liable to imprisonment for 14 years.

It was not until the 2010 Constitution when this was changed with Article 26 (4) stating:

“Abortion is not permitted unless in the opinion of a trained health care professional, if there is need for emergency treatment or the life or health of the mother in in danger, or if permitted by any other written law.”

While therefore legal, there was a lack of guidance which has meant that the circumstances in which abortion was permitted were uncertain. This uncertainty meant that there were three court cases every week where women were charged with having an illegal abortion, and studies showed that 10 out of 20 cases examined involved schoolgirls – some of whom were minors.

“An unsafe abortion is defined as a procedure for terminating an unwanted pregnancy either by persons lacking the necessary skills or in an environment lacking minimal medical standards or both,” says Dr Caroline Tatua, a senior health systems adviser.

According to research conducted by Ipas Health Alliance in Kenya, nearly 500,000 abortions are conducted in Kenya every year, with 20,000 of them in government health centres.

What to do

Studies demonstrate that it is far more affordable to prevent unwanted pregnancies than it is to treat the complexities that emerge from unsafe abortions. Specialists recommend tending to the drivers of unsafe abortions by upgrading the access to contraceptives, comprehensive sexuality education and honest discussions with adolescents about the best way to avoid unwanted pregnancies. We should be operating on a “children by choice, not chance” ideology.

Sarah says, “When I found out I was pregnant, immediately my heart stopped. I knew what people would think. I know they would say that I was careless, but I knew I could not have a child. I was 16, a child myself, but I remembered my sister and I knew I couldn’t do it the way she had. I could not leave my mother on her own.”

For Sarah the memory of her sisters’ death was still fresh in her mind, it was after all, only two years later. She was in the same position as her sister, unable to support a child and unwilling to disappoint her mother.

“I was scared! I thought that they would cut me and that I would die. But I didn’t know who to talk to or where to go. In the end I called the Marie Stopes hotline who sent me to a good clinic where a doctor helped me. He told me what to expect and what I needed to do. I was lucky, it was still early so they gave me some pills,” she adds.

“I think that’s why my sister went to that butcher. She didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t know what would happen. She was scared.

“I don’t regret doing what I did. I know people may judge me, but I could not have had that child. It would not have been fair to the child and myself. I think about it everyday though. Would it have been a boy or girl? What would it have looked like?

“But I know that now I’ve almost finished school, I can get a better job and make enough money to have a family. I know I will never forget it. It was not an easy decision to make, it should not be an easy decision to make. But it was mine.”

While Sarah’s story may have ended on a positive note, lack of access to a safe abortion or even information on reproductive health is resulting in the deaths of thousands of Kenyan women and girls every year.

The World Health Organization recommends the use of four misoprostol tablets and one mifepristone tablet for the safe termination of a pregnancy under nine weeks. A minor surgical procedure can also be used by a trained health professional.

The social stigma around abortion and lack of service delivery policies are pushing women to resort to quacks (backstreet or untrained providers). Unintended pregnancies are the main cause of unsafe abortions. The high number of unwanted pregnancies stems largely from the unmet need for family planning, which currently stands at 18 per cent.

Various organisations offer pregnancy crisis counselling services which can assist women and girls in desperate situations so that they avoid endangering themselves. This matter therefore needs to be brought to the fore, otherwise we shall continue to lose more women and girls over an issue that can be resolved.

‘I aborted Prezzo’s child ‘ Amber Lulu confesses during an interview

Prezzo’s girlfriend Amber Lulu is in trouble after blurting out that she aborted the musicians kid during an interview with Clouds FM.

The damsel opened up stating that it was not planned and that she is feeling guilty about what happened;

“Tulikua home tuna-vibe. It wasn’t love. It was an accident. I thought about prezzo. He is the man that I’m in a relationship with. I disappointed him. We’ve started arguing even with his friends and family.”

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Prezzo and girlfriend Amber Lulu
Prezzo and girlfriend Amber Lulu

Lulu goes on to add that she is unhappy with how things turned out. She narrated

“He is my lover, I thought about him all that time when the video leaked. Imemkosesha raha na amani pia. Prezzo ni mume wangu.”

Other than Prezzo, Lulu says she has in the past slept with former Ya Moto Band singer Aslay, who she terms as ‘kiboko‘ when it comes to bedroom matters.

“I have also dated Aslay. Yeye ni kiboko yao. Kwenye game yuko noma. Aslay kiboko kabisa”

Amber is also said to have dated a musician by the name Young Dee who later trashed her and said he did not want his name to be drugged into the mud for being with Amber as it was ruining his current relationship.

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Amber Lulu

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Meanwhile, the video vixen has responded to claims she aborted Prezzo’s unborn baby. Speaking to Ijumaa Wikienda, Amber told the paper that she is still in a relationship with Prezzo.

She responded

 “Ndio niko naye bado na kuhusu kushika ujauzito siku si nyingi.”

Asked if she aborted, Amber said,

“Kero ya nini sasa maana mimba ningebeba mimi lakini siyo yeye (Prezzo). Mimi sitaki kuzungumzia hiyo habari bwana.Nani amekwambia maana ungeniona hapa na kitumbo.”

In 2017 socialite Vera Sidika was accused by her South African based Nigerian boyfriend Oriyomi Johnson of aborting his child after the two broke up in what Vera termed as an abusive relationship.

 

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I Survived Being Aborted At 8 Month After A Nurse Heard My Cries – Woman Talks About Forgiving Her Mother

Weighing just 2Ib 14oz she lay hooked up to wires and tubes in a neonatal unit on August 29, 1977.

But there was no anxious parent nearby, lovingly holding her minuscule hand, desperately willing her to live.

Because Melissa Ohden’s mother had left the hospital in Iowa, believing the toxic saline solution she’d been given over a five-day period when she was eight months pregnant had aborted her child.

However the procedure had failed but Melissa’s mother had no idea her daughter had survived, against the odds, until 36 years later.

After Melissa learnt about her traumatic start in life, she spent nearly two decades searching for answers and would discover her guilt-ridden birth mother had not wanted to have the termination.

Melissa also learnt that she is alive today because a nurse heard her weak cries, slight movements and gasps for breath as she lay discarded as medical waste and rushed her to intensive care.

Melissa Ohden

And in a macabre twist, it emerged there was another nurse at the hospital who had instructed the others to ‘leave the baby in the room to die’.

Devastatingly, Melissa, who lives in Missouri, US, found out that that woman – one of the supervisors in charge that day – was in fact her own grandmother.

Here Melissa re-tells her astonishing journey exclusively to Mail Online and reveals how she learnt to forgive her mother and grandmother – who she has chosen not to name.

The circumstances around Melissa’s traumatic start in life took her decades to fully unravel.

Such a discovery would drive most people to become bitter and twisted. But Melissa – who was adopted by a loving family and reunited with her birth mother last year after a 17-year search – says she’s found it in her heart to forgive.

Melissa Ohden

‘I discovered that my birth mother, aged 19, had been forced into the abortion by her own mother, who was an educational nurse at the hospital,’ said the 40-year-old from Kansas City, Missouri, who has written a memoir about her life. She was heavily sedated and didn’t know that I had been born alive. It would be 30 odd years before she learned the truth. It’s been a long and painful journey from shame and anger to faith and forgiveness. But I refuse to be poisoned by bitterness – that’s no way to live.’

SALINE ABORTIONS

Terminations carried out using saline are a type of ‘instillation abortion’.

This is a method performed by injecting a solution into the uterus during late term pregnancies.

Chemical solutions used can be either saline, urea, or prostaglandin, delivered through the abdomen and into the amniotic sac. This induces contractions that expel the fetus.

Once common practice, abortion by intrauterine instillation has declined dramatically in recent years due to reports of serious adverse effects.

Intrauterine instillation (of all kinds) declined from 10.4% of all legal US abortions in 1972 to 0.1% by 2007.

The rate of mortality reported in the States from 1972-1981 was 9.6 per 100,000 for instillation methods. This is in comparison to rates of 4.9 per 100,000 for dilation and curettage.

Battle to live

The doctors who carried out the abortion at Saint Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, Iowa, had estimated that Melissa’s mother, whose identity she has chosen to keep private, was about 20 weeks along.

But the fact that she had survived the saline infusion – a method largely no longer used in the US and UK because of its failure rate – led them to believe she was actually 31 weeks when induced.

Melissa suffered jaundice, respiratory distress and seizures. It was expected that even if she did survive she would have vision problems, hearing loss and developmental delays.

Three weeks later, she was transferred to the University Hospital in Iowa City. The nurses who cared for the nameless baby made her tiny clothes and colorful booties.

One, called Mary, decided she needed an identity and named her Katie Rose.

At three months old she left hospital and was taken in by Linda and Ron Ohden, a couple who had already adopted a girl called Tammy, four years older than Melissa.

For years, her adoptive parents and Mary kept in touch, exchanging Christmas cards and letters with pictures and updates on her progress. When Melissa got older, she wrote the letters herself.

‘Mary and I began a friendship that would last for decades,’ she explains. ‘It made me feel so special that this nurse cared for me when no one else did.’

Despite some early struggles, by age five Melissa had caught up developmentally and was given a clean bill of health.

The bombshell moment

Melissa and her sister had been told early on they were adopted by their parents, who had a natural son called Dustin when Melissa was six despite believing they couldn’t conceive.

‘Tammy and I fought like sisters typically do,’ said Melissa. ‘It was during one of these explosive arguments, when I was 14, that she blurted out, “At least my parents wanted me!”’

 Melissa Ohden

Melissa says she always knew she was adopted – but it took decades to know the full truth of her start in life

‘I ran to my adoptive parents who eventually told me the devastating truth – that I had survived a botched abortion. They had never intended for me to know.

‘My world felt like it stopped spinning that night. I felt, angry, scared, ashamed and even guilty for being alive.’

Melissa then spent much of her teenage years ‘in great emotional pain’, developing bulimia and turning to sex and alcohol.

‘I was drinking heavily to numb the pain. But my parents never realized how much I was hurting because I was so good at hiding it.’

Desperate search for the truth

Melissa pulled herself together and headed off to the University of South Dakota to study political science.

She would later learn that her biological mother had attended there as well.

And astonishingly, her maternal grandmother – the very woman who orchestrated the abortion – was a professor at the university during the time Melissa was there.

‘I didn’t know this at the time of course, but I look back and wonder if we ever unwittingly crossed paths,’ said Melissa.

At 19, the desire to know more about her background eat away at her and she began her search to find her birth family.

There was little information on her adoption papers, so their identities were a mystery.

Coincidentally, she soon ended up moving to Sioux City, where the failed abortion had taken place, which gave her the chance to search local records.

She pored over phonebooks, newspapers on microfiche, and year books at the library, not knowing her birth mother’s name but looking for someone who looked like herself.

She also put an advert in the local newspaper appealing for anyone with information to come forward, but to no avail.

After years of futile hunting, Melissa came across a startling lead when she was 30.

‘I knew my maternal grandparents’ surname and where they had been employed, so that was a big piece of the puzzle,’ she said.

‘I was flicking through a nursing college year book when I came across a woman I suspected was my grandmother. I still didn’t know at this stage her full role in what happened.’

She sent them a letter, but only her grandfather wrote back.

‘He said my live birth was not the intention the day I was born. He also made it clear I wouldn’t find my birth mother through them because they were estranged from her.

‘It was evident their relationship with my mother was never the same after my birth. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew then something sinister had gone on.’

Finding her father

That same year, Melissa requested her medical records which gave her a breakthrough – the hospital administrators had forgotten to black out her parents’ names.

After discovering she was living in same city as her biological father, she reached out to him by letter.

‘I have every reason to believe he never knew I was born. I simply told him that I was alive, and that I wasn’t angry or bitter. But he never responded.’

Six months later she searched the internet for his name and discovered he had very recently died when she came across his obituary. She then made contact with his brother.

‘His family were aware of my existence, they had come across my letter to him when they were clearing out his office after his death.

‘They told me he once said “I have done something I’m so ashamed of but I can never say what”.

‘Knowing what I know now, I take that to mean that my mother was being forced to have an abortion and he did nothing to stop it.

‘Perhaps he felt too much shame to respond to me, I will never really know.’

Answers at last

Melissa OhdenMelissa gave up her hunt for a while. By then she was married to IT worker Ryan, now 42, with whom she has two daughters, Olivia, nine, and Ava, three. Her oldest was born at the same hospital where she survived the abortion.

Then, when she was 36, her biological mother’s cousin emailed her after learning she’d been in touch with the family.

She was told that her parents were college students – childhood sweethearts – who were engaged to be married when she was conceived.

‘My mother was athletic and as a result had always had irregular periods, so she didn’t realize she was pregnant until the third trimester,’ said Melissa.

‘I was told she didn’t want a termination, but my grandparents didn’t approve of the relationship between her and my father.

‘That was a huge shock, I’d spent so many years thinking my mother never wanted me.

‘My grandmother arranged for the saline abortion within days of finding out about the pregnancy. My heart ached for my mother for having gone through that.

‘I also discovered my mother’s sister visited her in the hospital during the five-day infusion and tried to get her out of there, but the staff said it was too late.’

Melissa wondered how she could be put up for adoption without her mother’s consent, and came to the conclusion her signature must have been forged.

A nurse who worked at the hospital when she was born told her about the staff member who saved her – and her grandmother’s disturbing attempts to deny her a chance of life.

‘I have never met the woman who took me to neonatal but she’s an angel, I owe her my life,’ said Melissa.

Emotional reunion

Finally, after 17 years of searching, the cousin put Melissa in touch with her mother.

‘I can’t even remember now who emailed who first, but I recall we were both so shocked,’ she explained.

‘My mother had no idea I was alive… can you imagine? We chatted for three years before we met. I think we were both scared of rejection.

‘Then I bit the bullet and suggested we meet. Her reply was enthusiastic.

‘When we finally met in May last year, I could see her in the distance getting nearer and part of me wanted to run away. It was scary.

‘Then we hugged and both cried. I said, “It’s been a long time”. She told me, “I was robbed of you”. Then it felt really natural.

‘She carries a lot of guilt and lives with many regrets but I told her I don’t blame her at all.

The book recounts her story of searching for her mother and their eventual re-uniting

The book recounts her story of searching for her mother and their eventual re-uniting

‘I have only forgiveness in my heart, for my father too and even for my grandmother.’

Melissa found out that her grandmother had passed away some years earlier.

She also discovered she has two half-sisters, one of whom she has met and the other she plans to see soon. She has seen her mother a few times since and is in regular contact.

After a career in social work, Melissa is now a motivational speaker as well as an author, and she founded the Abortion Survivors Network to support others in the same position.

‘I have been in touch with 223 abortion survivors, mainly from the US but from all over,’ she added. ‘It has devastated lives.

‘Through my Catholic faith I have learnt to forgive. It doesn’t make what happened okay, but it releases you from the pain. We are all human and we all make mistakes.’

Source

 

My pastor boyfriend has forced me to abort six times

If you thought you were having a bad relationship just because he keeps on pushing forward your wedding day, you’re wrong. Think about that lady whose boyfriend is cheating on her or rather wasting her time.

Well, a confused city girl has shocked many after she confessed that her pastor boyfriend forced her to abort more than five times just because he’s not ready to settle down with her. According to this woman, she’s four months pregnant (seventh time) and the man of the cloth has asked her to abort or else he commits suicide.

Here is what she wrote;

“I have aborted 6 times for him, all he keeps saying is that he is not ready. If I insist on keeping it he threatens to kill himself. If I beg him to use protection, he will start crying in bed and begging me, ok do withdrawal method he will not agree.

Now I am pregnant again and he is asking me to abort again and I refused this time, and he threatened to kill himself, I ignored him and told him to feel free to die but I will not kill my child again.

Continue reading “My pastor boyfriend has forced me to abort six times”

Life Is Precious! City Pastor Robert Burale Reveals Why He Would NEVER Advise a Woman To ABORT a Child Conceived From Rape

Rape is the worst thing any woman can go through and the pain and bad memories make it harder to move on after the ordeal.

In some cases, some rape victims end up getting pregnant, which is not only traumatizing but hard to accept since it’s a product and fruit of a ruthless act.

Popular Pastor Robert Burale – who is also an image consultant, emcee, and motivational speaker – has gone ahead to talk about abortion, the situations when it’s acceptable and the cases where abortion should not be a solution at all.

Robert Burale

According to Burale, abortion is acceptable in marriages in cases where it’s a medical emergency, or in cases where the woman is a rape victim, but not excuses like not being on family planning or lack of money to raise the child, because that is killing a child, which is absolutely wrong.

“Why not use contraceptives then, if you are not ready for a baby,” asked Mr Burale while speaking to The Nairobian.

Raising A Child Is Not Easy! See The Great Job Pastor Burale Is Doing (PHOTOS)

The PR Strategist went on to encourage men to be thoughtful, unselfish and compassionate in case the wives get pregnant after a rape ordeal.

Burale went on to give an example of a woman who went through the harrowing experience, and why he would advise someone to keep the baby even after the anguish.

pregnantbelly

The woman hated the baby but she had people around her who convinced her the child was innocent. I would not condemn anyone who confessed to procuring an abortion because they were raped. But if they come (to me) before opting to abort, I will try to take them through the healing process, so that they can appreciate the beauty of the child that’s growing inside them.

He went to add that there are solutions if the lady or man doesn’t want the kid; “If they don’t want the child, or can’t bear the sight of the baby because of the painful memories, the baby may evoke, they can always offer the baby for adoption.”

Burale

In some cases, a woman may get attached to the child who resulted from rape, and though the men may find it hard to accept this, Burale urged them to offer support and stand by their wives.

Unfortunately, some men take the place of the victim and treat their women badly, even though it’s the woman who suffered a rape ordeal. This could end up being too much for the wife to bear.

In situations where a woman cheats and gets pregnant, and the man accepts the child Robert Burale noted that forgiveness in such cases is a process, and due to the pain, a couple has to get counseling services.

“The husband may be willing to forgive and accept the baby, but the problem could persist if the biological father of the baby and the husband have a bad relationship. The child and marriage will ultimately suffer. There is an unwritten rule in the book of gentlemen, that men can share anything from cars, phones to meals, bit never women,” revealed Burale as he winded up.

alone-boy-sad-broken-heart-lonely

 

 

 

‘I’ve Had Three ABORTIONS With A MARRIED Man I’ve Dated For 3 Years And I Still Love Him’ Confesses a Kenyan Clande (AUDIO)

Ladies, would you agree to be a mistress and date a married man for 3 years, yet you know very well that he will never settle down with you or be your husband?

Maina Kageni recently asked women if they could handle the truth if men decided to tell them all the dirty secrets and lies that they hide, and it turned out that some women would actually handle it while others would walk away if they knew the truth.

Interestingly, some women came out to tell Maina Kageni that they have more dirt than their husbands, with one particular one even confessing that she had an affair with the husband’s close friend for three months after finding out that he was cheating on her.

Ghai! Kenyan Woman Reveals She Had An AFFAIR With Her Husband’s BEST FRIEND To Revenge His Infidelity (AUDIO)

Marriages are not easy, more so when a woman finds out that her man has another woman or mistress, which seems to be a norm now.

But what happens when the woman in question is the side dish or ‘clande’?

black-woman-cheating1

During Maina Kageni’s breakfast show, a particular woman called in, confessing that she has been a mistress for 3 years, and even confessing that she has aborted the man’s pregnancies. Yes, not one, but three.

According to the anonymous caller, she’s not with the married man for money but love, adding that she makes money with him, which is ‘their’ cash because they have a company together.

In fact, the woman goes ahead to say that everything the man’s wife has is because of her, including the car that she drives. The ‘clande’ feels that she has a better place in the man’s life more than the wife. What madness is this!

How about you listen to the full story in the short audio below.

 

72-year-Old Nakuru Medicine Man Arrested For Procuring Abortion

Police in Molo have arrested a medicine man after allegedly procuring an abortion on a 23-year-old woman who is a mother of two.

The 72-year-old man was seized after the woman developed serious complications after the concoctions he prescribed to her deteriorated her health.

Narrating the incident at her hospital bed the victim Judy Moraa claimed that she learnt of the old man’s services from a friend who promised that the act of terminating her 2 month pregnancy could be carried out safely.

She said the medicine man charged her Ksh 5,000 but she only managed to raise 2000 as a down payment for the unlawful act which was conducted at a maize plantation at Michatha area in the outskirts of Molo town.

She said she started bleeding profusely and felt weak before she was rescued by neighbors who heard her distress call.

Asked why she decided to risk her own life by seeking services from an unqualified local medic, the woman said she feared raising a third child alone since she separated with her husband two years ago.

“I was stressed after realizing that I was expecting a third child while the second child is only one year old, am jobless and needy.”

Nakuru county women representative Mary Mbugua condemned the act calling on the police to sternly act on the suspect since abortion is an outlawed practice.

She said youthful women who are desperate after falling pregnant have been seeking services from unqualified persons which can lead to early death.

“It’s a crime to commit such act, we must stop such crimes with a force equal to the one applied on those conducting female genital mutilation.” She said

Nancy Kerubo who is the victim’s mother broke into tears after traveling from Nyamira County to Molo hospital on learning that her daughter was admitted in hospital.

‘Should Men Have A Say When It Comes To Abortion?’ – Maina Kageni

Maina and Kingangi’s morning conversation has been all about abortion this entire week, with female callers revealing that they procured abortions more than once.

Surprisingly, it turned out that married women are among those who are terminating pregnancies in the society, and even more shocking, was the fact that some of their men/husbands were helping them abort.

The issue of family planning not working also came into the discussion, with some people claiming that when that happens, it’s necessary to abort. This is something that flabbergasted Maina Kageni.

The question that popped up regarding this was, should men have a say when it comes to abortion or is it a woman’s choice to decided what she wants to do in the case she gets an unplanned pregnancy? Listen to the interesting conversation below.

 

Women do not regret having an abortion, study

Ninety-five percent of women who have had abortions do not regret the decision to terminate their pregnancies, according to a study published last week in the multidisciplinary academic journal PLOS ONE. The study was carried out by researchers from the Bixby Center for Global Reproductive Health at UC San Francisco’s School of Medicine, and from the university’s division of biostatistics.

Its conclusions come after a three-year research period in which nearly 670 women were regularly surveyed on the subject of their abortions. The sample group was diverse with regard to standard social metrics (race, education, and employment) and on the matter of what the study calls pregnancy and abortion circumstances. Financial considerations were given as the reasons for an abortion by 40 percent of women; 36 percent had decided it was “not the right time;” 26 percent of women found the decision very or somewhat easy; 53 percent found it very or somewhat difficult.

The authors of the study concluded that the “overwhelming majority” of the women participating in the study felt that abortion had been the right decision “both in the short-term and over three years.”

These results offer a statistical retort to the claim that women who have abortions suffer emotionally as a result, as anti-abortion campaigners claim. Previous studies cited in support of this claim, researchers said, “suffer from shortcomings, leaving the question of women’s post-abortion emotions unresolved.”

The new study is careful to avoid generalities. It discerns between having lingering emotions after an abortion and regretting the abortion altogether — two distinct responses that pro-lifers tend to conflate — and concludes that post-abortion emotional reactions are normal, but almost inevitably taper over time, and that ultimately, very few women altogether regret terminating their pregnancies.

-Time

US Supreme Court halts Texas abortion clinics closure

The US Supreme Court on Monday temporarily halted the closure of most of the abortion clinics in Texas, two days before rules forcing them to shut their doors were due to go into effect.

Abortion providers said the rules — which included requiring clinics to follow costly hospital-like building standards — amount to a “multi-million dollar tax on abortion services” and would have forced all but nine of the sprawling state’s clinics to close.

The order, which won support of five of the nine justices, blocks implementation of the law while the court considers whether to hear an appeal.

“We’re relieved that the high court has, once again, prevented anti-choice politicians from pushing safe and affordable abortion care entirely out of reach for Texas women,” said Amy Hagstrom Miller, founder of Whole Woman’s Health, which operates six clinics in Texas.

Just 18 abortion clinics are currently operating in Texas, a state larger than France with a population of 30 million people.

That’s down significantly from the 41 clinics operating in Texas in 2013 when a host of restrictions — including those that were temporarily halted Monday — were passed into law. Most of the clinics closed because their physicians had trouble gaining admitting privileges at nearby hospitals.

Women living in smaller towns and rural areas have been hardest-hit by the closures as nearly all the clinics are in the state’s five large cities.

Similar restrictions enacted in other states have led to a sharp decline in the number of abortion clinics in recent years.

The Supreme Court is currently considering a case that could lead to the closure of the last abortion provider in the state of Mississippi.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott defended the law as a “constitutional exercise of Texas’ lawmaking authority that was correctly and unanimously upheld by the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals.”

“Texas will continue to fight for higher-quality healthcare standards for women while protecting our most vulnerable – the unborn, and I’m confident the Supreme Court will ultimately uphold this law,” he said in a statement.

Photo Credits : AFP