friends ex

Steps: From lovers to friends

After a break up it’s highly unlikely that one will be able to maintain a cordial relationship with the ex depending on how they broke up. In some cases many will try and move on without any contact at all with the ex.

However for some, it’s likely that they would like to maintain a friendship of some sort especially if they share the same circle of friends.

It  is possible to move from lovers to friends without having those weird moments. Here is how to go about it:

1. Give time to heal: The first and foremost way to remain friends with your ex is to give time to both of you to heal and get over the break up. Befriending your ex soon after a breakup might not be a great idea. Do not fool yourself by thinking that you can be back to being great friends immediately as coming back to that comfort level of friendship will take time.

2. Be clear about certain limits: Be clear whether you want to have a platonic relation or expecting more. Do not send them drunken text messages. Make sure you always draw a certain limit which will keep you away from any more heartbreak and tons of hogging down ice cream which you surely will regret later.

3. Keep calm around them: Getting nervous or anxious will only worsen your problems. Whenever you are around them or are meeting them at a party or at a movie, keep calm. When you decide to go out for a movie or coffee, be calm and don’t show any emotions which might indicate something that you don’t want them to know.

4. Stop comparing: If you are getting along well, infact great with your ex as a friend do not bring the topic of what went wrong when you were together. This might not go down well with either of you as you might have to confront things that you might not be ready for. Be yourself and keep the relationship on the back burner and try to work on the friendship.

5. Use social media smartly: Stop stalking him. Secondly stop tagging him in every post that has a friendship quote or a friendship picture of cute kids. And lastly don’t keep on pestering them with messages, give them and yourself some much needed fresh breather.

-Iyer TNN

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