Marriage is a beautiful thing but only if you make it work. It is full of ups and downs but it takes two to make it blissful. Over the years the number of marriages registered are declining as the number of divorces are increasing. Many now prefer to stay single with a child or two from a previous relationship or sperm donors and some without as they no longer believe in marriage.
You may ask yourself how or why the change as many used to believe in the institution. Times have changed and so have the people’s ideas of what relationships and marriages are all about. Here are some of the reasons:
1. Freedom – There are people who view marriage as “loss of freedom” and would therefore prefer to remain single instead of committing. When one is single they can date whoever they want, come home late, go out drinking all weekend long etc. With marriage comes responsibility and a line is drawn as to what you can/cannot do. For example, you cannot go out every weekend to drink and flirt with members of the opposite sex. You cannot have sex with different people besides your partner etc Some do not want to leave that life for a stable relationship.
2. Compromise – In marriage and even in relationships compromise is a must. You have to accept your partner with all their flaws and “funny” habits that you cannot stand. People are different and that’s what makes relationships beautiful. Many people do not want to accept people as they are and instead want to change them to fit their “perfect” model. This makes one selfish as a result.
3. Separation/ Divorce – The rate of divorce and separation has gone high with new cases every day. If you watch the news, read the papers, social media and even people we know, the cases are so many that it has made others stay off marriage. Many singles are afraid of walking down a road they believe will end up in separation or divorce.
4. Money/Finances – We can’t all be equal so there will be those who have money and those who don’t. The ones who have believe that love doesn’t exist and therefore if anyone was to want them it would be because of their money. Others believe in love but do not wish to share their hard earned cash with others.
5. Patience – We live in a world where everything is available at the click of a button. If you want food dial a delivery, travel -call Uber , shopping- Jumia, Kilimall, if you want a salonist, masseuse, cleaners etc they will make a house call. We are used to having things at our convenience that we do not want to struggle or hustle. Instant gratification has made us selfish that we do not wish to share with others, we think about ourselves too much to let others into our world.
Marriage works if both parties are willing to put in work as a team and not as individuals. When we decide to put aside our differences and work together as partners then things will flow, but for as long as we continue to be selfish and self-centered nothing is going to work.