Kenyan men have today opened up to Maina Kageni ongoing physical, emotional, and verbal abuse from their wives. Most say they are dying inside.
The men say they are in a relationship because of the kids.
*Mike says his wife has even threatened to kill him
“I do my stuff on my own. I wash my clothes, iron my clothes, and cook my food. She told me she will kill me before the next government takes over. I cook my food because I fear she might stab or poison me.”
*Musa says despite him being a long-distance driver he is forced to cook f himself when he arrives home.
He also cooks for his wife on some days.
“I am a long-distance driver, my wife is a businesswoman. I come back later sometimes (2 am) and I am the one to wash clothes and do all the household chores. We have no one to defend us. Marriage is all about perverseness.”
Adding, “I will continue doing it because I cannot beat her up. I even told my mum about it.”
Just when you think you have heard enough *Musa calls in saying that despite him being the BOSS in the office, at home he is just an errand boy.
“My wife is very sweet when she wants something once she gets it she changes. She chased away our house help so I am the one who does all the house chores. It’s almost 7 years since she started that. It reaches a point she becomes good when she wants something. The car she is driving she sweet-talked me to buy it.”
He says he cannot leave his house as he builds it, adding that he has no one to share what he is going through due to stigmatization.
“I cannot shift from this house because I am the one who built it. Men are suffering out here.
How can I tell my friends that I am the one who cooks? Are both working but I have to leave work early to pick up the kids, wash them and then cook. Luckily for me, I am self-employed.”
*Noor shared his experience and almost ended up breaking down narrating the torture he is going through at the hands of his wife.
“I am a truck driver married since 2013 and I am the wife. I work while she doesn’t. I drive from Mombasa to Nairobi and I am normally so tired she tells me to cook for myself, and she wakes me to take our child to school. We cannot even beat them up because the government favors women. Men are in such relationships because of the kids.”
Mwalimu King’ang’i says most ‘good’ men are the ones suffering.
“A lot of men are suffering because women have always been seen as the weaker sex. Men are going through so much. The men going through such are the caring ones, the most romantic. The bad boys are not going through this abuse.”