The church and its leaders, Pastors are meant to be a safe heaven for us but one woman has learnt life the hard way after finding out her pastor boyfriend is a married man.
*Terry* says that she met the love of her life 8 years ago but back then he had not yet been ‘called’ to be a pastor.
His dream was to become a lawyer. He loved to talk to people and loved to argue his case firmly. I didn’t doubt his capability to turn out a lawyer because he was cut for it.
The day he proposed to me, the only word I could think about was a yes. I said yes and till date, it remains one of the happiest days of my life.
We dated for about four years until we both agreed to get married. I introduced him to my parents and siblings and he also did same.
She goes on to add that several months later her husband told her that God had talked to him and asked him to be his shepherd. Adding that
It’s not my call anymore, it’s the Lord’s.
I clearly told him that I would not be under any obligation to act as a pastor’s wife given that it is not what I had bargained for.
Something on his face gave the expression of a shocked man. He didn’t expect to hear what I said but I needed to make things clear from the onset.
Two years into our marriage, he was ordained a pastor in the same church that we had our wedding. Then the storm of our marriage began.
I got pregnant for him when he was in the pastoral school. He convinced me to abort it since he was in school and he’s not expected to make a lady he’s not married to pregnant.
According to him, he might be sacked from the school and be stripped of the opportunity to become a pastor if the school get a hint of it.
No amount of pleading would make him understand me. We argued it from both biblical and logical point of view but this man wasn’t ready to let me have it.
On the day I had to go to the hospital to abort the child, he took me there and waited till the doctors finished and brought me home.
He wanted to be sure I did the abortion.
She adds that not long after that she got pregnant again and that is when her misery began.
I got pregnant, again. I wanted to be sure so I didn’t tell him but he saw signs of the pregnancy and asked.
I told him the truth I wish nothing could make me remember the way he beat me that day. I’ve never been beaten all my life like how this man beat me.
He hit me with all manner of things. His target was always on my stomach. He succeeded in hitting me in the stomach with belt hook until I started bleeding.
The pain was too much so I passed out. I woke up in a hospital with some drip on me. That was when the nurse told me what had happened to me; I’d lost the pregnancy through miscarriage.
When I was discharged, I went to my parent and reported the whole incident to them. My dad was livid and even made the attempt to get him arrested. My mom calmed him down.
They invited my husband over and had a discussion on the whole incident. He denied beating me.
He denied the first abortion and he denied the miscarriage saying I tripped during a scuffle and I lost it.
I was so furious words couldn’t come out of my mouth. I decided not to live with him again. I wanted a divorce there and then. My mom insisted it was too early to decide on divorce and dad supported her.
I stayed with my parent for about one month. All the while, he kept coming to my parent asking them to allow me to go back home with him.
He came with other pastors of the church and female elders to plead on his behalf. I went back to live with him.
In conclusion Terry says that the beatings only got worse, her pastor husband even started s3xually abusing her
He would wake me up at dawn to pray with him. When I tell him I’m not in the mood to pray, he would stop praying and start beating me.
I could sleep with a nice face and wake up with a broken face and bloodshot eyes. when I don’t go to church, he would return from church and beat me.
The church was fasting and I decided to exempt myself. He locked me up in a room for two days, maltreated me and called me all sorts of names.
He would enter the locked room and tore my dress to shreds and forcefully penetrate me from behind.
He didn’t care about the fact that I was bleeding.
He didn’t hear my anguish cry. All he wanted was to have s#x and satisfy his ego. I was a broken woman.