Maina Kageni’s morning conversation today was a deep dive into a quote from Baba-A term Kenyans affectionately ascribe to politician Raila Odinga.
The former PM had spoken about terrible relationships where he said, “It is unfortunate that after winning their partner’s heart, instead of going on to cherish and love them, some suddenly turn physical. If you cannot reconcile, then, leave.”
This prompted Maina to follow up and ask, “If you are in a toxic relationship why are you still there? Guys, why is it so hard to leave?”
Mwalimu King’ang’i for his part had this to say, “It’s not that easy to leave. Unatoka unaenda wapi? Na mtaambia wazazi nini?”
Many Kenyans chimed in with their own anecdotes. Some said they couldn’t leave because of the kids while others said the fear of criticism from family and society was also a consideration.
Others said that they stayed hoping that their partners would change while other Kenyans said that their peace of mind was more important than keeping a marriage alive.
Some of the comments are below;
Sometimes people stay in toxic relationships because of; 1. The children lose a lot when parents separate. 2. Pressure from the parents, society, and at times the status quo.
Maina your life matters… your happiness matter….hawa wasee wa kuimpress family….what is my family my foot…endelea kuambiwa utauliwa…and you stay…will come and sing safiri salama… Your happiness matters matters…Period…walk away.
Marriage is different from dating unless you understand the two……..is when you can either stay or walkout.
Some people stay in toxic relationships because they feel that something will change. Their partner will finally listen to them, or their dynamic will eventually shift, or they will finally convince their partner to transform a toxic part of them.
They are afraid to stand out and say they made a wrong move hoping things shall change only to end up in the grave or time wasted.
Maina you should first show us your date or wife before you break someones…
True. You should just leave.
Don’t force love….. don’t force yourself in a marriage just pack & go.
Mine I left everything I had and started afresh.
I suggest they do away with the “for worse” part and “for better” remain. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Otherwise the worse is more you can wait “for better” to come and die before you taste it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Maina toxic is toxic. There’s no better way to sugar coat it. The problem with some of us is that we count material things instead of walking away. Until something bad happens is when you think of stepping out.
Don’t just walk away from marriages….rem you have a place u call your home but your children have nowhere to go….plz u r hurting us children.
Getting out of a relationship is not easy as you think, neither healing a broken heart too is not easy, so you can not basically believe that walking out is the best option.
There will never be a perfect human ata ukitoka hutapata anyone better than the one you leaving, hold on to the devil you know…
It’s so hard to leave when you’ve been together for a long time, achieved a lot together and children looking up to you, there’s a force that tries to convince you that he/she will change.
Only the faint-hearted ones find it hard to let go like their world revolves around their errant infidel spouses.
A lot of people stay because of the kids forgetting that once those kids grow and leave your house then WHAT?
Leaving is not the best solution, two parties should come together, sit down and decide the way forward.
People are crazy out there. Mimi naleft ata nikiwa na 10 children. Investments and society are not enough reason to sacrifice my peace. I ain’t Jesus y’all. People should normalize lefting toxic relationships in every sect.
People are afraid to be called single ….okay continue staying, we will be here to type RIP.
Toxic relationships don’t just weigh in your mind they show physically. That’s why so many men and women are walking around with stress bellies which are linked to diseases. Matambis don’t lie. Walk away from whacked-up relationships that weigh you down.
I’m not trying to make a divorce a ‘happy’ occasion, but I do believe that if you are in a toxic marriage, a divorce can be a happy occasion.
Utamu wa Ndoa ni kusumbuana Maina anapack anapenda wapi …..No marriage is 100% perfect…..
Why raise a kid in a toxic environment? If things aren’t working out…find a way to co-parent. Peace is essential in every person’s life.
Kids cement the bond.